The list of things wrong with this story is longer than the sex scene.

2871036
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#shotsfired

Worst clop on FIMfiction.

WHADAFUQ?

2871411

You mad, author? I think that's why you thumbed down Critic's comment.

2871411 2871420 I thumbed it down for the hell of it. Also, nice to see you using your alt account Theater.

2871595

It's not my alternate account.

Well, it used to be.

2871932
oh! Hey best friend! i versed you as a boss recently in dungeons and dragons! it was pretty intense but i won!

2871420
so you should check out my response to your normal account!

Holy hell, what a mess.

Now, I've never properly reviewed clop before (aside from personal thoughts), but I'll take a stab at this tomorrow. This is just so godawful that I can't bring myself to read it more than a few seconds at a time.

Excuse me, while I go read quality literature and visit /mlp/ to get this story out of my head.

da faq

Again with excessive exclamation points?!
also the plot development could use more work my friend!

just reread this
and if say you should probably re write this entire, since 1. there were way too many exclamation points for a normal fic2. you were doing a horrible job of showing not telling. and 3, there were little to none emotions or drama( even for a clop) plus spike just accepting some one else's declaration on the spot doesn't make sense
overall rating 2/5 panzers
you get a panzer 2
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/15/PzKpfw_II_01.jpg

So please, except accept my feelings Spike.

I think you mean "accept my feelings", you need to get someone to check for errors.