Fingers are Precious

Lyra was positively glowing as she bounced down the street toward her house. After several months of trial and error, she finally got a story featured! So what if her talent involved a lyre? Everypony can have a hobby on the side. Lyra, Ponyville’s finest anthrophile, had finally published her first decent fan fiction!

Ever since it premiered a couple years ago, My Pretty Human: Fingers are Phalanges had been the rage across Equestria. Everywhere Lyra looked on the internet, there was talk of humans and even scheduled events in every corner of the land. Cosplay and merchandise were quite rampant as well, some fans went as far to go bipedal to certain conventions. To Lyra, it was her paradise. The fandom provided her with one thing Ponyville would never have: those who appreciate hands. Unfortunately, there was one problem.

Bonbon must never find out.

It was a matter of fact that MPH had an obscene amount of popularity nowadays, compared to the previous generations where humans were depicted as doll-like monkey… things. This changed when the creator of the new generation of humans completely scrapped the previous art designs and created a new model for humans. Less fur, taller height, and brighter eyes made for a more appealing design. Coupled with a brilliant writing team, the creator made MPH the epicenter of the internet and all things creative. No website was without fan art or something involving humans. Unfortunately, there was one problem.

My Pretty Human was originally meant for little colts. The morals each episode sought to teach colts about socializing as they grew up, like how to properly treat mares in their matriarchal society, relating them to the characters they identified onscreen. Fillies avoided the show like the plague, claiming it was too “boyish,” and humans were stupid and ugly. Most fillies were into magical princess action shows that lacked any discernible plot. Parents found the show endearing, and encouraged their foals to grow up to be kind gentlecolts as they watched it together.

Parents began encouraging their friends to expose their foals to the show, as it had good lessons to teach. Other adults tuned in as well to see what the hype was about. Lyra was one of those adults. And she’s been hooked since.

Lyra was into writing, fan fiction in particular. She was also the jealous writer: she couldn’t draw, create music, or animate like everypony else seemed to online. She’s written several stories and has barely managed to scrape up any popularity. Until now, at least. It seems like that her first serial has made the big times. Horse Apples!: A Pony on Earth Story. She couldn’t wait to get home to see how popular it’s become!

Lyra’s bounce came to a stop as she approached her front door. She reached into her saddlebag and retrieved her key to unlock it. She resumed her bouncing as she went upstairs toward her new computer. Bonbon had finally relented when the typewriter broke. Usually destruction of property wasn’t something to be happy about, but Lyra excitedly used it as an excuse to get her new toy.

Furry ears perked up, scanning the surrounding area for distinct hoof steps of a certain somepony. Lyra peeked outside the bedroom, making sure Bonbon wasn’t lurking. Deciding the coast was clear; she jumped on top of the bed and placed the computer on it as well. It was designed for a desktop, but as long as she didn’t shift her weight too much, the computer would stay.

One last careful scan led Lyra to give into temptation; she reached under the bed and pulled out her secret box. Bonbon, oblivious as ever, never bothered to look underneath for their entire time together. She opened the box slowly, careful to not trigger her failsafe. Inside the box was a single string. Lyra bit her lip as she carefully grasped it with her muzzle; if only she had hands! Pulling the string caused a small mechanism to open up a secret compartment on the bottom of the box. Lyra gingerly reached inside to pull out her human ears headband and placed it right behind her horn. She was no cosplayer, but the ears certainly helped the mood.

Lyra turned on the computer and waited as it hummed to life. A few taps on the keyboard led her to her favorite website: the host of all MPH fan fiction. She browsed the featured and recent stories, deciding if any were worth her time. Only a few seemed interesting enough. After a couple hours she checked up on her stories. Her ears drooped.

oh sweet Celestia, not another PoE fic- hum8y

LAMEEE!! Stop sucking! downvote!- humane438

I played a game while reading this. It’s called “The Cliché Cider Drinking Game!” As you may as well know, I was so drunk afterwards I accidently faved this. Sorry for the false hope. Horse. –TicholasIsBestShip<3

Lyra slammed her computer shut, a tear forming at the base of her left eye. She couldn’t help but feel herself slip into despair. It wasn’t the comments that bothered her, it was the fact someone would ship Nicholas with Tracie. Everypony knew Nicholas and Sylvester were meant to be together! Lyra reopened her computer began tapping at her computer, until…

slam!

Somepony was in the house.

“Bonbon?” Lyra called out, her ears perking. The movement downstairs stopped, as if somepony had frozen in place. Bonbon usually shouted back in enjoyment, and would rush to drop all her belongings so she could run up to the bedroom to… Lyra shook her head, several images and memories were flooding her mind. Bonbon could wait. This couldn’t. There was an intruder in the house. Lyra shut her computer.

Gingerly opening the door, Lyra crept into the hallway. Her ears flicked repeatedly, trying to catch any noise in the dark. Night had fallen in the hours she had spent reading. Not wanting to tip off the intruder, Lyra crouched on all fours and crawled on the floor toward the stairs. A quick shot of magic dimly illuminated the stairway, revealing a lack of intruders. Deciding to further scout the house, Lyra crept down the stairs.

Bathroom? Clear. Living room? Clear. Dining room? Crystal as the Crystal Empire. Now for the kitchen…

Lyra crept down low as she entered the kitchen. It was completely dark except for a single beam of moonlight through the window. In the moonlight stood a pony, seemingly wrestling with himself. Lyra assumed it was a stallion of course, everypony knew this was her house and only a foolish colt could think he could outmagic Lyra! And the fact he was taking his clothes off only served to further creep Lyra out. Why would a burglar do that?

Lyra wasn’t taking any chances. Like any unicorn her age, she had made sure to study at the very least the basics of spellcraft since foalhood. She stood up, screamed, and charged her horn. The intruder only had a brief second to notice the enraged mare before he was lifted up and thrown against the cupboard. Lyra trotted up to the intruder as she used her magic to flip the light switch.

The intruder was… Bonbon? The intruder indeed had her creamy light coat, and multicolored mane that smelled like, looked like, tasted like candy. But the confusing thing was what she was wearing. Lyra cocked her head as she examined the struggling intruder. The intruder couldn’t be Bonbon! Bonbon would never wear human stilts and leggings, stilettoes, human ears, “handy” finger gloves, and Bonbon would never in a thousand years wear human clothes that her favorite characters wore. If Lyra didn’t know any better, she’d say Bonbon was cosplaying as Tracie.

“Lyra, put me down! It’s me, Bonbon!” a squeak managed to slip out from the intruder. Lyra tried her best to muzzle her, but her telekinesis couldn’t manage too many targets at once. It was highly likely that it wasn’t Bonbon, but Lyra decided to at least give the intruder a chance. Being the only pony in the room with a horn had its advantages, after all.

The earth pony stood on her two hind legs as she brushed herself off. When she was done, her eyes met Lyra’s, revealing them to be a distinct blue. She began to bite her bottom lip as her ears drooped. A small tear formed at the corner of her eye. Lyra’s knees weakened. Bonbon was pouting! Like when they first met… Not only was it making her will fade away, it was utter proof that Bonbon was no imposter.

Bonbon tore off her hind leg stilts and returned to all fours. Lyra could only manage to give a weak smile at her cosplaying marefriend. Her brain wasn’t able to process so much at much. Bonbon returned a smile and attempted to explain.

“Uh, sorry? I thought you were asleep and didn’t want to disturb you…” Bonbon stared at the ground and returned to pouting. As endearing as she was, Lyra had to put her hoof down.

“Bonbon, dear. I think we need to talk about… this,” Lyra commented as she waved her hoof at Bonbon’s getup. Bonbon blushed and flicked her mane with a hoof.

“Well, you see. I just went to this small gathering of… ponies…” Bonbon trailed off. Lyra raised an eyebrow.

“What kind of ponies, dear?” Lyra nearly hissed. Bonbon gulped.

“H-hu-humies….” Bonbon admitted, dropping her gaze and staring at the floor. Lyra grimaced. It was the worst possible scenario: Lyra was officially angry at her marefriend. She had committed the worst atrocity, something that could possibly make Bonbon a social pariah and create a chasm in their relationship.
She didn’t invite Lyra.

“Hey, wait a minute! What are those?” Bonbon’s confidence returned as she pointed to Lyra’s headband. Lyra blushed, realizing she forgot to take it off, and reached up to tear it away. Bonbon trotted forward and gently grabbed her arm. “It’s alright, it’s not like I have much room to talk.” Lyra nervously grinned at Bonbon’s comment. The two began walking across the house together.

“So, I didn’t know you were a humie,” Lyra began as they trotted up the stairs. Bonbon glanced back at her.

“Well, I suppose so. I guess you could consider me hardcore closeted. I dress up, go to Cons, I even write fanfiction,” Bonbon explained. Lyra gasped at the last one.

“Me too! Come, look!” Lyra exclaimed as she dashed forward to the bedroom, dragging her marefriend to the computer. Logging in, refreshing the browser, and going to the page only took a minute for the excited unicorn. Lyra proudly showed her marefriend her account and everything, including her new story. Bonbon stared at the website’s banner for a moment, lost in thought. She turned to Lyra and narrowed her eyes lovingly. Lyra returned the look and nuzzled her. Bonbon noticeably bit her lip at that precious moment, however.

“What is it?” Lyra asked, concern edging into her tone. Bonbon sighed and looked back at the computer, afraid to ask about the website. She opened her mouth to speak, reluctantly.

“I didn’t know you wrote fap.”

Author's Note:

this is my rather lame attempt at a one-shot. I didn't have any proofreaders this time, so I consider this merely practice.

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I HV NO FEAR

I HV NO FEAR #1 · Jul 9th, 2013 · 1 · ·

well you got a laugh out of me! I feel like I should have seen this idea before, but alas I haven't. there were very few mistakes in grammar, so at least that wasn't too distracting. overall it was pretty average. Funny, but average. But hey, I've seen a lot worse. the idea combined with the writing style was solid and interesting, but it wasn't amazing or awesome or great. No offense here, but the best descriptor of this story is average. There are still things to work on here.

Flint Sparks

Flint Sparks #2 · Jul 9th, 2013 · · ·

2846380

Well that's a satisfying review right there. I wasn't going for a masterpiece, just wanted to write something down for fun. Considering I'm new here (and some of the things I've read ) average is good. Good for now. And now matter how much I proofread, why do I keep making grammar mistakes?! I'm a college student!

I HV NO FEAR

I HV NO FEAR #3 · Jul 9th, 2013 · · ·

I guess some people just don't have it. one of my friends is terrible with grammar and spelling. No matter how many times I tell him or correct him, he never seems to get better. Some people are just born with a mind that can detect mistakes in grammar, sentence structure, and spelling. other people think in a different way. I read one of his stories once. the idea was solid, and the action was intense. He's not a bad writer by any means, but he just can't get the grammar and spelling down. I suspect the same might apply to you. Well... more so the grammar. your spelling on this story was flawless. don't worry about the grammar. Proofreaders will always catch it before it's too late. Well, the good ones at least. I guess the point that I'm trying to make here is this; you obviously have the potential to write well, and practice will make you better, but a story like this could really be helped with the inclusion of a proofreader.

Flint Sparks

Flint Sparks #4 · Jul 9th, 2013 · · ·

2846498

ugh, no matter how many guides I read, how many classes I take ("A" student in AP Honors English), I'm always making a mistake. I guess almost everyone has this problem without proofreaders.

CoastalSarv

CoastalSarv #5 · Jul 10th, 2013 · 1 · ·

Simple story, but very sweet. Thanks for sharing!

I HV NO FEAR

I HV NO FEAR #6 · Jul 15th, 2013 · 2 · ·

Alright lez do dis!

Unfortunately, there was she had one problem.

there was and she had can't both be in the sentence.

The morals each episode sought to teach colts about socializing as they grew up, like how to properly treat mares in their matriarchal society, relating them to the characters they identified onscreen.

Something seems missing in this sentence.