Once upon a time, Marcus Bennett was just another misanthropic student struggling to survive college. However, upon the seemingly impossible arrival of an amnesiac and totally helpless Twilight Sparkle at his door, it looked like his life was finally taking a turn for the wonderful and everything was going to be smiles and friendship forever. They could move out to the country and go run through the forest together and-
Yeah, like he has that kind of luck.
Together with the tiny purple unicorn, a yellow military-mare-turned-stuntpony, and a slightly (very) insane girl reporter, Mark is thrown into a world of confusion and conspiracy around an ancient grudge that's suddenly coming back home in the worst way. It'll take everything they can beg, borrow, and steal just to survive in a conflict that may not leave Earth or Equestria standing when the dust settles.
Why do the ponies always appear in boxes? Why?
You need spellcheck. It would have caught things like "nad" and "teaught"
Is Doctor Nolan a man or a woman? You use both he and she
There was a surprising lack of freaking out among both Twilight and Charles.
Some sections require more paragraph separation. A couple of times, it turns into one big wall of text.
It is pretty good for a first story, however.
Also, this seems like a perfect story to add to the Pony Roommates group
2788869 Direct me to more of these so called box pony stories. And then tell me where on Amazon I can order one.
2788928 It just seems that every story that takes a cue from MLD has the pony in a box. My headcanon is that it's because the ponies are scouting Earth so they can "accidently" appear on it to take us over in The Conversion Bureau.
Because the only living thing that can survive in a box is...
(
)
2788911 Points 1, 2, & 4: Many thanks, seems scene five got caught in some sort of glitch earlier. Paragraph breaks are where they should be, I hope.
Point 3: Twi has pretty much no memory, so she figures this is what she's always known until Charles tells her different, and he, well...We all know who actually did that screaming.
Universe collapse story? Awesome, I'm making a dimensional collapse story. Unlikely ill ever get it finished. But hey, worth a shot.
Ok, ok. I want more chapters, ASAP.
2984153 Working on it, bro. Kinda managed to write myself into a corner halfway through the next chapter and I'm trying to work my way out of it without causing too much chaos. Should be done sooner or later.
3017914
did you ever get outta that corner you got in?
3251504 I did indeed! If you want to follow things more quickly, I upload each individual scene on Pony Fiction Archive on a semi-weekly basis and stick them here when I feel like I've got enough to wrap up the chapter.
I'm glad for a new chapter.
Update, -squee-
Uh.....................
I was so confused considering I hadn't seen this story in a while but I think I get it now........
...........
................
I think......
At least we got an explanation about why Spitfire and Twilight was able to go along in this world without attracting attention. It's like reality is bending for them or something.
Inb4 someone complains about misanthropy.
The writer can believe what he wants to believe.
5060621 Personally, I'm one of those people that honestly thinks the world is awesome. However, Charles is not. I kinda dislike him, it's cool if other ponies do too.
5067123 When I read 'dark and dreary world', I knew eventually someone would call that misanthropy, so I stopped them before it happened.
5067937 I understand where you're coming from, I just want to make it clear that it's not my viewpoint being pushed there. Thanks for your support! ^_^
Iiiinteresting.
I love the whole world too. Every so often I listen to the song while sitting on the science page of memebase and fuckyeahscience to remind myself.
What would you guys think of me postponing the next chapter for a while to rework the first two chapters? I'm really not satisfied with what Young Me thought was a good idea and it's getting to the point where I feel like the beginning is turning a lot of people away.
I'm not sure whether or not you cut out the second chapter where other stuff before Twilight finds a lead or was it in this chapter, like the part where the main character had a bit of a problem of bringing meat or not.