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For one individual in Ponyville, life has been plodding along, just the same day after day. But one day an event that he can not even fathom occurred. Now he has been exiled from the capitol of Equestria itself and its smaller sibling Ponyville. How will he survive? Will his life ever look up again?
-inspired by Normal
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Just read first chapter and wow. You need a pre-reader. I can help if you would like.
Try to fix punctuation.
EDIT!:"cuntralot"?
How did this utter piece of SHIT ever pass moderation? I suspect whoever approved it assumed you're retarded and was being kind to the mentally disabled.
LEARN TO USE YOUR SHIFT KEY. Capital letters exist for a reason.
Major minus points for naming your story after yourself. That was the very first clue that this was going to suck massively.
And basically everything about this story is just...bad. It's badly written, there's no evidence whatsoever that you bothered to proofread it, and what little I was able to force down before my eyes rebelled and threatened to cut off something I'd really miss unless I stopped.
Holy shit this bad. It's even worse than this: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/51457/a-study-in-humility-twilights-week-as-a-foal
Uh... no.
3335683 what is it now?
3335683 Everyonce in a while I come back just to see your comment and laugh my ass off. Thank you.
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Nah.
Good idea poorly executed.
sorry guys and girls for the crappy story im taking it down don't worry but it will be back up one its edited and it in better condition ie grammar structure wording etc etc sorry to leave a bad impression i was like 12 when i started, again im sorry chapter 1 will stay up for now, again im really sorry and im working on the final draft ie editing thank you for all your comments even bad it gives me a better view on what i need to do sorry again and thank you all.
2642165 As i assure you that this will no longer be a problem, i invite you to edit this piece of crap yourself if you want to or are willing to help if not you will just have to wait or deal with it thank you for your words and it is being worked on.
I found this in the foalcon area of the rape group
its bad