Two unlikely beings begin to slowly gain feelings for each other. How strong are the feelings and what will the feelings do? Not spoiling. And what better way to get feelings then on an adventure, right? It's not like it's dangerous or anything *no guarantees * . So read on, you know, if you want to.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You need to space your paragraphs. It's just one bit wall of text, which isn't easy on the eyes. Also, the beginning doesn't half remind me of Spike's Rainbow Dash.
Fix your description. This tells me nothing of the story ahead, and I certainly don't want to read "A good story by you"
Needs work. Wall of text, grammar and spelling. Btw pacing.
Pardon me if I'm wrong, but I'm 99.99999rec% sure I'm right, but you're supposed to put an actual description of the story here. You know, what it's about and all...
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/46048/Spike's-Rainbow-Dash
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/57246/spikes-rainbow-dash-the-final-chapters
Alright, I'll work on it. I haven't written many stories and never published on a website. I'll also try to separate the story from relating stories. I'll think of a new description, I made it quickly and I was testing. But I do like getting hints for improvement, thanks.
No...Just no. You literally just took MallaJong's story and pasted it on here then proceeded to change some of the words and make it into this crap that you call a fic. I'm not gonna even BOTHER being nice cause it's the damn truth.
I don't even know who MallaJong is and I can assure I never intended to take the idea. Since this seems to be such an issue, I will read Malla's story and make it less the same.
Where you get the story from?
Well, for me it's good!
2573008 I read the first like 8 paragraphs and knew I read it somehwere. Thanks or telling me where it was I remembered it..
all I can really say is that you have a good idea (from what I can see) just bad exicution
2720869 strike that, really bad exictution
there is just to many issues with the story and its too similar to another story so i'll just abandon it. Unless ppl are for some reason desperate for it, it'll remain cancelled.
Wait is that it, what happend next.
4313016 It's just too nooby of a story so I abandoned it
4313164 but it was so good
4313570 fine, maybe I'll revise it, but it will take quite sometime to edit
4313978 sweet! Can't wait