After an alarming trip through a black hole in his fridge, Nigel M. Chalmers finds himself in a colourful peaceful country populated with a throng of friendly ponies... in the body of one of their nation's worst enemies. Of course it all goes to pot.

Follow him as he attempts to make sense of his new body, makes new friends and maybe even finds love...
Or not, after all this is Nigel we're talking about, all he's probably going to do is insult everyone and drive everyone insane.

Follow the gripping tale of action, comedy and romance.

Will Nigel make it back home in time for the office Christmas party? Will he avoid a painful death at the hooves of multi-coloured Equines? Will he finally be re-united with his beloved cheesecake?

You can only find out by reading this fic, so fasten your seatbelts and prepare to get wrecked.

Edit: Well, someone did a great reading of the first chapter, thanks to KaBar41 for the reading.
The Reading of Chapter One

I wrote this fic as a side project to Nigel M Chalmers, Emperor and saviour-or-destroyer to try my hand at a transformation story. To all of you who hate the whole "Turned into a pony and makes friends with everyone" I'm going to shatter your misgivings like 300 kilograms of armoured Biped smashes a window. There will be violence in later chapters but for now it's just pure comedy.

Featured on the 12/5/2014

Coverart done by Avatar of Madness

If you came to hear a story, I’m sorry to disappoint. I suspect this’ll just end up as one big confession, really. When you’re the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria, I suppose that’s to be expected. And when you’re the universe’s favorite chew toy, doubly so. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just survive this. Then again, when you’re going up against an unending list of things like government conspiracies, that guardian angel who keeps telling you to kill ponies, psycho Equestrian girls with allophilia, a lunatic princess, the legions of the Inferno, the Equestrian culture itself, swashbuckling sword fights, and laissez-faire economists, you begin to realize why there’s a big “if” in the middle of your life.

Your thoughts/critiques/deathreats are welcome in the comments. Spoilers are also encouraged. If you don’t have anything to complain about, do please tell me what you liked so I know what worked.

Now on TV Tropes. Posted on the Equestria Daily 5/28/13. Now in ePub format for your convenience.