Nightmare Moon rules Equestria with an iron hoof. Her reign is glorious, and her methods are cruel. On top of that, her short fuse is known across the land as the most dangerous weapon Equestria has ever seen.

This rage tends to be a problem when it is unleashed around her husband, Anon. The poor human is very squishy, and although it's unintentional, he often bears the brunt of her fury. This can sometimes be... fatal.

Thankfully, Nightmare Moon has mastered a spell to make this less of a problem. Nothing will come between her and her husband. Not even death.

...Something that Anon has grown uncomfortably used to.

Equestria's greatest villain, Dr. Professor General Dread, is threatening to destroy all life as we know it. The universe itself is in dire peril, but is he prepared to face The Puff?...

In his pursuit to recreate a pleasure from home in Equestria, Anon lets ponies experience some of his memories. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

While visiting the Crystal Empire with his good friends Twilight and Spike, Anon accidentally makes quite the impression on Princess Flurry Heart, the young child of Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor. However, the foal still has yet to figure out her alicorn magic, and one unfortunate spell later, she and Anon find themselves lost in the wilderness. Now, with nothing but the clothes on his back, Anon will have to brave the unknown to get Flurry Heart back to her home.

If only he was good with kids.

There is a weird machine placed in the halls of the castle, everyone knows what it does. It's not a mystery at all. Princess Luna's unexplainable hatred of the machine is the real mystery.

Shall she prevail against overwhelming odds or lose herself in the deepest of pits? Let's find out.

Pinkie Pie is invisible. What shall she do?

(Have fun reading this!)

An April Fool's story, and an entry in OPERATION: CRACKFIC-STORM - 2023 ( post | entries ).

Featured 2023 April 1-5 - I am a monument to all your sins. Also, as of July 6 2023, this is the most disliked story of the year! Thank you all!

Opaline Arcana has sowed dissent and anger across Equestria. With the nation divided, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends are struggling to contain the ambitious alicorn. If something isn't done soon, Twilight will have no choice but to store Equestria's magic into the Unity Crystals, putting all of ponykind at risk.

Before that, though, Twilight has an idea. There's a prisoner locked away in Tartarus that was forgotten by history. He might be just what they need to stop Opaline. However, letting him loose could spell disaster for Equestria.

It's a risk she has to take.

After opening an unexpected delivery, Pinkie Pie finds herself in possession of a severed paw capable of granting fives wishes. She ponders how to best utilize her free wishes.

This was written for "A Thousand Words Contest II", specifically for the "Experimental" section

Spoilers for the general plot and ending of the G5 movie.

The return of magic also caused the Crystal Empire to appear again, but two Crystal Ponies, banished from their homeland, wish to change that.
And now it's up to Sprout to stop them, save all of Equestria's magic, and accept that his family played a larger part in history than he would have enjoyed.

Written for the G5 Bingo Writing Contest. Prompts were "Sprout + is keeping a secret from + Sweets + Crystal Ponies + School for Gifted Unicorns".
Contains a silly plot, (intentionally) butchered history, and stereotypical Swedish/IKEA-ish proper names, mostly meaning that I added a bunch of unnecessary umlauts to vowels. =P I apologize to Prince Shining Armor, Princess Luna, and all Swedish people reading this. Also contains an actual IKEA name - Älvängen/Alvangen is/was a set of lamps, including a desk lamp.
Might do something else for the cover image later - right now it's nearly 1am and the deadline is upon me, so this needs to go out NOW.

This morning, Shining Armor thought that his daughter's goth phase was his biggest worry. Now, he has to deal with a retired stage magician, a smoke monster that refuses to stay dead, the dumbest possible parallel universe, AND his daughter's goth phase.

Nothing about this makes any sense... and why does King Sombra seem oddly afraid of Trixie...?

Quite possibly the crackiest of all crack fics I have ever written for any fandom to date. I wrote this in about a week and had an absolute BLAST writing it. Contains...

• Trixie's verbal tic maxed out to the point where it becomes a plot point of sorts
• brooding goth Flurry Heart, complete with goth name
• card tricks
• the Crystal Empire having quite possibly worse security protocols than it does in canon
• nopony taking anything quite as seriously as they probably should
• Shining Armor making a few rather questionable choices involving his daughter's safety
• card tricks
• a magic mirror portal that ought to be yeeted into the sun or moved to the SCP Foundation HQ
• trace amounts of Applejack
• an homage to the best Mumbo and Grian comedy skit from the Last Life series on YouTube
• card tricks

Inspired by TWO contests!

Entering this into the Portal Transformations Contest I.

Also, after some consideration and checking with Muggonny, entering this into the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition. It blasted WAY past the max word count, but I'll just have to live with the wordcount penalty.