Princess Celestia is in your bed, and you don't know why: what do?

Cute, funny, and short. Have fun reading!

Proofreading by RaylanKrios.
Now with audio reading by CaptainBron3y
Second audio reading by MeloncholyIguana.

Based on this story:
Princess Celestia is (still) in your Bed
Princess Celestia Has Stolen All Your Bed Sheets
Drunk CelestAI Is In Your Bed
Fimfic Authors Are In Your Bed
Princess Celestia is in Your Washing Machine

How could one love another if they could only live by evil? It has been over five-hundred years since the first, and much to her surprise, Chrysalis, queen of the changelings, has given birth to another changeling; the first changeling to have ever been born straight from the queen in such a long time span. Yet this one is not like the others. No, this one is much more different. How can a queen who feasts off love care for such a delicate creature?

(New!) Image credit goes to: ZymonasYH

Generations have past since the events now celebrated as Hearts Warming Eve, the land of ponies is at peace. The three tribes have settled their differences and had set about exploring and cultivating the land together.

Twilight Sparkle is one of the best recruits in the land, born from a family with a history of military success. She is capable of fighting and defending herself from any attack. Ready to join her mother and brother on the front lines. If only she hadn't be selected to be the princesses royal body guard.

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Base on the many pictures done by Earthsong9405.
Her Tumblr: http://earthsong9405.tumblr.com/
Her Deviantart: http://earthsong9405.deviantart.com/
Cover art belongs to her as well.

After a recently thwarted assassination attempt against Rarity, Twilight and Rarity discuss the soldier's uncertain future as the queen's private bodyguard.

Part of the Bodyguard!AU Series, based on Earthsong9405's AU where Twilight is the bodyguard to a "Princess/Queen Rarity". Prior knowledge of the AU is not necessary to read the story.

Kiss, or end the world. It's all up to Applejack, Rarity, and the mare determined to see them swap tongue linings.

Written for the Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder Badfic Contest.