//------------------------------// // Desperation // Story: Monster or Mother? // by Hivemind //------------------------------// Chrysalis hungered for the life-giving nourishment of love, but even as her own stomach growled, she knew she had to think about her son first. Ditto slept very much throughout the day, only rising for a short while when night came around before drifting off to sleep once again. As sad as she felt having received very little quality time with her son, she felt thankful knowing that such an innocent creature would not be exposed to the horrors of what she was forced to do for both herself and her children each and every day for their survival. “My queen,” spoke the queen’s loyal commander at the entrance gap to her bedchamber. Chrysalis looked away from her gentle infant who lay asleep in his crib and turned to face the commander. “What is it?” she asked with a blank expression. “We are ready to depart. The active guard at the nearby town of Velvetine is shorthoofed, so we expect little resistance.” Chrysalis sighed. “Good. Is the swarm prepped and ready?” The commander nodded. “Perhaps now most of us will survive.” said the commander with only a smidgen of encouragement in its voice. “We have always found ways to survive when times are grim, commander,” said Chrysalis, staring up at the cloudy, blue sky above her. “Right from the beginning. We will find a way to keep going. I am sure of it.” “Do you wish of us to return with love for you as well as…your son?” “I will be leading this raid,” Chrysalis sternly proclaimed. “You will stay here with Ditto.” “C…come a-again, my queen?” “You heard me.” Chrysalis turned and walked past the commander, stopping when she reached the open doorway. She looked over her shoulder at the commander's dumbstruck face, feeling little clemency even for her most trusted general. “But my queen! How am I to feed on this day?” the commander asked with distress in its dark blue eyes. It frowned, which tugged at the motherly queen’s delicate heartstrings with a strangely high feeling of sensitivity. She cared about all of her children, but she needed to do this on her own. “Do not fear. I will have one of the drones return with a sustainable amount of love for your personal consumption.” The changeling commander wiped its forehead, sighing deeply with relief. “Thank you, my queen.” The commander lowered to its knees and bowed respectfully. “I am within your debt.” “There is…no need, commander.” Chrysalis swallowed hard. She could barely believe how much her regally appalling terminology had changed over the course of just a few days. Now that she thought about it, her old, forceful methods of magically beating the sense into misbehaving changelings and the like was a thing of the past, replaced by kinder, more caring feelings for the hundreds of identicals she now felt proud to call her own. “You have done enough for me already, which is why I am now trusting you with the safety of my son.” “Y-yes, my queen.” The commander bowed once again with its head slightly shaking. “Guard him well, and don’t try anything...disagreeable. Understand?” The commander nodded its head in approval. Strangely, Chrysalis wanted to kiss her son goodbye before she departed on her deadly excursion, but she felt that doing so would only make her too attached to him to leave the forest. She needed to lead her children into battle so they could feed at long last, whatever the cost may be. It was inevitable. Many of her own will suffer greatly, but with the way the world was changing, her precious changelings were simply not strong enough to combat those who guarded their only food source in the entire world. Of course, her presence would boost morale, but not enough to guarantee a safe return. The changeling commander gave a firm salute as its dark, winged leader strolled out of the bedchamber, the enchanted vines of her private quarters sealing the entrance as she left with her head hung low in a troubled sulk. ~~~~~ “Retreat! Retreat!” shouted the defeated guards as they took flight down the nearest road with the last remaining remnants of those who had not evacuated. They carried on their backs and in their mouths all that they owned, or what was left of it anyway, while their once lively town was slowly torn to pieces by the invading insectoids. Chrysalis watched with vexed eyes as the ponies fled in terror. She could see the sad, mournful looks they bore on their dirty faces as they ran away with their tears falling to the ground behind them. There was no question. Their existence was a cruel one. What did they do to deserve to live in such unspeakable despair? Before long, the ponies were far out of sight, fleeing wherever they were fleeing to now that they had nowhere else to go. Chrysalis turned away from their general direction and slowly walked back into the ravaged town, where her many children had already begun to feast. The smell of love was thick in the cool air. Whoever those ponies were, they most certainly loved their humble way of life. All around, her changelings greedily absorbed it, sucking it up into their frail bodies like ethereal sponges, but the love did not last forever, and there was certainly not enough to go around. The largest portion of love was always saved for the queen to consume, but not even the meager masses of life-giving energy could stop the others from fighting over it. As she walked through the remains of the trifling town, Chrysalis had to break up several bouts over leftovers of the precious foodstuff. Many fought for it, while others suffered serious injuries trying to obtain it for themselves. Many of her precious children were either killed or went missing during the early morning raid. Apparently, fear over the changeling species was so high that some guards had resorted to striking them down for good rather than repelling them with a magical knockback. Chrysalis gave a short, passing glance to each corpse she passed. Even for one such as her, not a single tear fell from her eyes. She was used to seeing things like this. Nopony cared for their deaths but her, leading them to become a hated, but deeply misunderstood species. Eventually, all love was drained from the town, leaving behind a grey, desolate ruin filled with nothing but hopeless and gloomy, grey skies, but one place out of them all remained untouched by the hungry swarm: The queen’s share, the biggest concentration of love remaining in the small town, located in a boarded up schoolhouse near the collapsed town hall. But the biggest remaining keep of love was just barely enough for even one of her changelings to live on. One whole side of the schoolhouse had a roof that was caved in, while the other suffered harshly from the brutal effects of the raid. Chrysalis stood in the splintered doorway, taking a good, long look inside as the common realizations started towards her. Foalhood drawings, overturned desks, and other personal, heartwarming variables were strewn about the room as if an earthquake had just hit. It was deeply upsetting to say the least, but there was nothing she could do about it. Nature was cruel to the changelings. She knew this wholly and truly. Will it ever end? Chrysalis bowed her neck and lowered her horn towards the tiny classroom. A bluish green aura illuminated her jagged headpiece as long strands of loving energy seeped out from the broken walls and floorboards and began streamlining towards it before flowing directly into the tip. In just a few minor seconds, the room was completely devoid of all loving pleasure. With a disappointed sigh, Chrysalis turned around and left the schoolhouse just as a dreary, grey fog began rolling in over the decrepit streets. ~~~~~ “My queen!” hissed the changeling commander, quickly lowering to its knees as Chrysalis strolled back into her bedchamber. “You have returned!” Chrysalis turned her head to look at the commander, giving it nothing more than a calm, blank stare. “Did anything happen while I was gone?” she asked after signaling the commander to rise. “Nothing at all, my queen,” replied the commander. “Your son has done nothing but sleep. He has not roused since you left.” Chrysalis strolled past the commander and walked up to the lianic crib. Ditto still lay fast asleep within, exactly as she had left him. He had not budged an inch for several hours, putting her maternal mind at rest. “Your share of the spoils is being kept with number eighty-six,” stated Chrysalis, keeping her emerald eyes planted firmly on Ditto’s smiling face. “Leave me, then seek it out.” “Thank you, my queen.” The commander bowed with gratitude. “Leave.” “As you wish, my queen.” The living walls parted aside to make way for the commander’s leave. When she was alone at last, Chrysalis lifted Ditto from his crib and gently placed him on the ground in front of her. Her stomach growled and bayed mournfully, reminding the queen of her unfortunate fasting. With a worried frown on her face, Chrysalis lowered herself onto her stomach, only inches away from Ditto’s tranquil face. The nourishing love she carried would not be enough for both of them, but like any good mother, she knew she had to make the right choice. Chrysalis lowered her horn to Ditto’s tiny forehead and transferred each and every bit of love she had gathered from today’s raid into her snoozing infant. When it was all depleted, she felt incredibly weak and lightheaded, but her loving sacrifice made it all worth it in the end. From his tiny mouth, Ditto cooed with delight and slowly opened his eyes, revealing two of the biggest, most beautiful eyes Chrysalis had ever seen in her life. They sparkled in the fading daylight like polished river stones, sapphiric in color and stunning beyond comparison. Before Ditto, such positive feelings were unknown to her, and often considered a blight upon her name should she feel any other emotion other than scorn and distaste, but every time she got a look at his adorable smile, it sent the queen’s near-vacant heart skyrocketing. Chrysalis felt like a true mother for once. Where her other children simply doubled in both number and similarity, this one fell out of line, but in a good way. Everything about him was nearly perfect in every way. The entirety of his being, from his cute, button nose, to his seamlessly straight, wispy tail successfully released paroxysms of affectionate squeals straight from the grinning queen’s mouth. Ditto craned his neck upward and booped noses with his mother. The adoring squeak Chrysalis let out was shrill enough to break glass, but Ditto did not seem to mind. He just continued to smile away. Chrysalis scooped her son into her hooves and hugged him tightly, feeling happier than she had ever felt before, and that was saying a lot. But as the intimate moment carried on, a deep, recognizable growl broke through the positivity of the family bonding. Chrysalis’s eyes went wide with sudden apprehension. She had forgotten to eat that day, remembering now that she gave all that she had to her son. What could she do? It has been over three days and her belly was still completely empty. She needed food, fast, lest she become too weak to care for Ditto, but what love was there to be had? She was sure of it that her changelings had already devoured their negligible stocks, and risking her life by eating one of the many strange looking wild fruits that grew in the Everfree forest was not on her menu of options. Chrysalis could feel Ditto rustling in her grip. She looked down, where her son was shuffling into the most comfortable position he could find. The little one let out a tiny squeak in the form of a yawn before closing his eyes, keeping his tiny hooves wrapped around one of his mother’s own as he silently drifted into serene unconsciousness. The motherly queen planted a kiss on her son’s forehead before carrying him back to his crib of vines for the night, remembering to shroud him in his blanket afterwards. As she stared down at her son, new thoughts of worry began to wander through her mind. I can’t keep this up forever. Thought Chrysalis. The love is running out fast…what can we do? There are hundreds of us, but few of them. We need a new home, or a new source of love, but how could we find something that is so rare and so essential to our lives? Suddenly, Chrysalis was hit with a jarring sensation. A lit candle popped up in her head, stimulating the exciting feeling of an ingenious, new plan, but only moments after it came to her, the candle’s flame was quickly doused, not out of difficulty, but out of the enormous emotional toll it would have in the end. No! I can’t do that! Never! Chrysalis could hardly believe what she was hearing in her own mind, but she ignored her own baffled hysterics and continued with her mental rant. I can’t do it! I won’t do it! It’s too dangerous! If my children discover it, then my reign as queen would be done, and if Ditto were to find in the future that I had committed such a heinous act… Chrysalis shuddered and frowned, turning away from her sleeping son as to not stir her away from her hour of desperation. No…it pains me deeply, but it must be done, for…for Ditto. The bright, yellow sun slowly sank beneath the horizon, bringing on the starry night. The changeling commander burst through the partially open gap of a doorway into the queen’s bedchamber at the words of the queen’s summon, panting like a dog and covered from head to hoof in an array of stinging thorns. “Yes…my queen?” asked the commander, trying its best to regain its breath. Chrysalis rose from her floral bed and trotted up to the commander. “I have a task for you, commander, but you must listen closely and do exactly as I say…”