• Member Since 9th Feb, 2014

Mustard Is Best Pony


MUSTARD IS BEST PONY. MUSTARD GOES WELL WITH ANYTHING. MUSTARD IS TART AND DISGUSTING ON ITS OWN.

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Found 3 stories in 72ms

Total Words: 1,512,631
Estimated Reading: 4 days

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Love is never easy, even for a royal alicorn princess. Especially when the love of her life is a former rival who refuses to return her feelings.

Fortunately she has friends to back her up and help her thaw her beloved magician's heart. Manehattan will never be the same.


Cover art by doqwor, permission pending.

Many, many thanks to Talon and Thorn, Frission and RarityEQM for prereading and support!

Takes place mid/late season 4. Comics are considered canon but not necessary reading for understanding the plot.

Comments are welcome!

Chapters (9)
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Monster attacks. Crime. Illegal hallucinogens made from electric fruit.

They say things didn't use to be like this. They say things were different, before Luna came back 60 years ago, but Detective Hard "Hardy" Boiled of the Detrot Police Department has never known any world other than that demarcated by the seedy streets of his beloved decaying metropolis; a world in which the coroners sing and dance, surveillance bugs have personality disorders, and the Chief of Police is a scarier entity than most of the eldritch things the city attracts.

The grey unicorn who turned up dead outside the posh High Step Hotel seemed like just another case, but her missing horn is the pointy tip of a very large and nasty iceberg. It's up to Hardy and his friends - a rejected monster hunter, a psychic cab driver, and an underground antiques heir - to find out what’s going on in an investigation that promises to stick more than a cupcake into the very eye of Detrot.

Especially if Hardy has anything to say about it.

By Popular Demand, there is now a Patreon


Additional editing by coandco Sig_Awesome, Hinds, Clint, and Raccoon!
Featured on EQD - 5 Stars!
Cover art by MisterMech (http://mistermech.deviantart.com/)
Now with TVTropes page here!

Chapters (158)
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OCCASIONALLY, WHEN RELAXING BETWEEN MONSTER TRUCK RALLIES AND ROCKET LAUNCHES, TWILIGHT "SCREW IT" SPARKLE RELAXES WITH A BOOK BY THE WARM FIRELIGHT OF OTHER LESSER BOOKS. LITERALLY, A BOOK, AS ONLY HER OWN AUTOBIOGRAPHY CAN SURVIVE THE SCRUTINY OF A GOD AMONG GODS-WHO-SUBSEQUENTLY-BECOME-MEWLING-WHELPS-BEFORE-HER-EYE-SEARING-GLORY.

THIS IS HER STORY.

AS IF YOU'D READ ANY OTHER.

(DUE TO A SURPRISINGLY APPROPRIATE WORDCLOUD, COVER ART NOW EXISTS. YOU MAY REJOICE.)

Chapters (1)