Chapter 4: We're Off To See The Wizard
"Ah swear, ah can almost see the li'l pink hearts floatin' around ya," Applejack muttered.
It was a sunny day, far too lovely to spend cooped up in Coco Pommel's studio / apartment / base of operations to work on the next stage of 'Operation: Snaring the Sorceress'. (Pinkie decided to change the name.) Twilight had been in such a good mood that she had decided to get some fresh air and maybe find some inspiration, while Applejack had come along because she was getting increasingly jittery, and because she didn't quite trust Twilight to not do something stupid in her current state of mind. At the moment they were cantering down the street, enjoying the sights (though Twilight's gaze was predictably distant and vacant) and relishing the fresh air. They were also wearing large coats and hats to disguise their identities. Applejack was fairly certain that they were even more conspicuous like this, and the sun made it worse, but Pinkie had insisted on disguising them, and the lovestruck princess was too far off into la-la land to object. Thankfully, the Manehattan ponies seemed to care little, too caught up in their own business.
Applejack had to admit, much as this whole undertaking was an overcomplicated mess, it was fun to see Twilight in love. It had revealed some very interesting sides of her character. Of course, it was to be expected; Twilight approached almost everything she took on as a fascinating research project. No doubt she'd have plenty to say about the subject of romance when it was over… no matter how many pitfalls she subjected herself to. Then again, Applejack had cracked her hooves plenty of times before she learned how to buck apples. Some things you just couldn't learn without working at it. She just hoped all the effort was worth it in the end.
"I really think she's warming up to me," Twilight said gleefully. "I understand that my initial approach was too confrontational – although given how forceful and dramatic she tends to act, I would have thought that she'd like that – but this is working so much better! Baby steps, right?"
"Yeah," Applejack said. "Can't force an apple tree ta grow faster than it wants, after all."
"True…" Twilight suddenly threw her hooves into the air. "But I want her now!" The exclamation startled a few bystanders, and she turned red with embarrassment. "I just… Rarity is right, it's nice to savor the whole experience, but I… I…"
"Ah know, ah know," Applejack said, well aware of what her friend was trying to say. Even though it was cute to see Twilight try to wax lyrical about her paramour while simultaneously being too embarrassed to express any of the more intimate details, it could get tedious after a while. "Twilight. Are ya really sure she's the one for ya?"
Twilight stared at her friend with disbelief. "Applejack…"
"Cosdarn it, ah do not hold a grudge!" Applejack interrupted in annoyance. "Why does everypony think that? You told me she wasn't responsible for that amulet nonsense an' ah believe ya. Hay, if she hadn't acted like Nightmare Moon Junior when she came back, ah'd welcomed her with a smile an' a slice o' pie. Ah almost didn't remember that whole bear debacle 'til she brought it up again. Grudges are for petty, petty ponies."
"Yeesh, sore point?" Twilight asked, looking a little uncomfortable. In retrospect, she should have known better. Applejack had been through too much on their adventures – and life in Ponyville in general – to get worked up on things that were, in the grand scheme of everything, inconsequential. "I'm sorry."
"Ah'm just concerned for ya," Applejack said reassuringly. "Love makes yer head go funny, after all."
"Oh, I know!" Twilight laughed. "If all of you hadn't been here for me…" Her mind slipped unbidden back to her confession, but she quickly pushed it aside. Too painful. "But this isn't some overnight crush. I've been thinking of her for months now. I've been… well, I've tried to think about it analytically and rationally. I even asked Pinkie and Rarity for their input, and all evidence pointed to this being true love. As a firm believer in the scientific method, I could not refute my claims."
"So ya hid it from yer friends and ran off to the other side o' Equestria ta confess," Applejack deadpanned. Reminds me of when ah ran off ta Dodge Junction. An' just like that time, the rest o' the gals wouldn't let it be. Hah, that's friendship for ya.
"...Yes," Twilight admitted. "Okay, so I wasn't so rational about that. But it's all working out now, isn't it? I have all of you to help me now, we have a plan, it's all working out. And Coco Pommel was a real heaven-send, too."
"Real fond of our little braggart, ain't she?" Applejack nickered. "If Trixie can make a reliable friend like that, maybe she's not such a bad apple after all. Now all ya have to worry 'bout is what your family will think. An' the princesses."
"You know, I haven't really thought about that," Twilight said nervously. "Shining is probably going to be really overprotective. Cadence will be happy, though. I have a suspicion that Luna will actually… oh. Oh."
Applejack stopped and turned, realizing that her friend had fallen behind. Twilight was just standing there, staring up at the large building across the street with her mouth just slightly open. Applejack followed her gaze to the sign in front and laughed. Manehattan Public Library. "Did ya catch sight of your other love, Twilight?"
"Yeah," Twilight said with a huge smile. "Can we make a little stop? I never saw this place the last time we were here, and maybe I can do some, uh, romance research, and…"
Applejack continued to laugh. In some ways, Twilight was just too predictable. "Tell ya what," she said. "Ah was thinkin' of checkin' up with my aunt an' uncle. You take yer time an' see if ya can think o' something, an' we'll meet up later, ya hear?"
"Okay! See you at dinner!" Twilight squealed, and dashed off.
Applejack just shook her head. "An' they say I'm a silly pony…"
Books. Twilight adored books. Really, it barely merited saying, being less a statement of preference and more a declaration of natural law. She also sighed over scrolls, cooed at codices, loved lithographs, and felt joy for journals.
As such, libraries and bookstores were always of great interest to her. She had explored most of Canterlot's literary locations to exhaustion in her youth, and had worked her way through almost the entire inventory of her own library-home in Ponyville in a matter of months. (Though she was often surprised how interesting books she had somehow overlooked kept popping up when you least expected it.)
The Manehattan Public Library held three distinct advantages. For one, it had yet to be explored by Twilight for its hidden treasures – it was virgin territory. For another, it was considerably larger than her own. And for the third, it had a coffee shop.
Most libraries in Canterlot didn't even allow liquids in the library, but here they sold all manner of blends, from the overpriced and pretentious to the affordable and sensible, in hard-to-spill cups so you could enjoy hot, caffeine-rich happiness as you studied.
All things considered, she seriously gave the idea some thought to take up permanent residence here. Right here in the library, even. Perhaps in another life she had, and what a glorious life that must have been.
Three hours after entering found Twilight hunched over a table laden with books, coffee cups and notes covered with rhyming words and the occasional doodle of Trixie. She was tackling her latest trial: poetry. It wasn't going as well as she'd hoped.
"'My love is like a red, red rose…' Twilight read from her current book. "Yes, yes, symbolism is a common theme, I can work with that. What things are blue? The sky, blueberries… cornflowers? Not very romantic…" She made a few more notes. "How does Zecora make rhyming look so easy? It's a pain to find the right words! Blue, true, flu… no, no, that would be disgusting. Maybe I can say something about her mane. What rhymes with 'silver'?"
"My, my, we're being really busy, aren't we?" an angelic voice said from behind her. Twilight spun around in surprise, and found her world swallowed up by a pair of dusty violet eyes.
Twilight stumbled back and fell out of her chair. "T-Trixie! What-what-what are you doing here?"
"And hello to you too, Twilight," Trixie said pleasantly. She seated herself on the other side of the table. "This is a public library, you know. So Trixie is allowed to be here, just like any other pony."
Twilight shakily climbed back into her seat, wondering why her head was spinning so when she hadn't hit it on anything. "I'm sorry, I, I didn't mean… I'm just surprised, I…"
"Spare yourself some agony, Princess," Trixie said. "There are no words that rhyme with 'silver'. Or 'orange' or 'purple', for that matter. Rhyming is overrated, anyway. Freeform is so much more versatile. Chased day and night by an ardent paramour; what mysteries lie in her heart?" She snatched a paper off the table and read it, looking less than impressed. "Ugh, your meter is terrible. Counting syllables should not be beyond your capacity. How did you come up with that poem from the other day? It was actually good."
"I, uh, stole it from a book," Twilight admitted.
"Cheating," Trixie said impishly, sticking out her tongue. "Still, some ponies don't mind a little trickery as long as it's done right, you know?"
Twilight took a deep breath and exhaled, just as Cadence had taught her. "Trixie, why are you here? I thought, well, I thought you'd be avoiding me."
"Oh, Trixie likes to visit the library now and then, you never know what you might find here." She winked pointedly. "So what are you reading today?" She started shuffling through the book piles. "Poetry, poetry, more poetry. 'Dating for Eggheads'? 'How To Avoid Huge Ships'? Seriously? Trixie finds that simply staying on dry land works wonders, but…"
"That's… actually not what it's about," Twilight began.
Trixie's eyes widened. "Ooh! The 'Pony Sutra'! Aren't we ambitious!" She laughed melodiously as she flipped through the pages, many of which were illustrated. "Goodness, how enterprising. But Trixie recommends that you don't get ahead of yourself, princess. A lot of this can get you quite horribly injured if you don't know what you're doing, or so Trixie has been told." She threw it aside into a nearby return bin.
"I was just, you know…" Twilight mumbled, blushing deeply and overcome with the need to go hide somewhere. "I've heard a lot of talk about it, and I was curious… the way everypony talks about it, it's, um…"
"Curiosity is good, but don't get ahead of yourself, hmm?" Trixie said with a smile, making Twilight blush even deeper. For certain reasons, she seemed delighted about all this. "Still, Trixie is curious too. Trixie is curious about what you'll try next." She stood up and started to walk away. "Oh, another thing." She walked up next to Twilight. Suddenly, the lavender princess felt a soft, wet sensation against her horn. Trixie withdrew her lips and grinned. "Good luck. You'll need it." She walked off.
Twilight decided to take a moment to pass out with a smile on her face.
"Right, then," Spike announced. "I save Doctor Lucky's life with a nice warm blanket."
"Uh, how? I just don't get that bit," Rainbow Dash said.
"Maybe he's freezing to death?" Fluttershy suggested. She placed a card of her own on the table. "Um, unfortunately there's a bear trap in the room, so he's still in danger. Sorry."
"Really quite vicious of you, dear," Rarity muttered. She was busy passing the time by working a passably fabulous dress in blue and orange in the corner; Coco was observing her work with rapt attention. "Where did you find that strange game, Pinkie?"
"Oh, I bought it cheap from Cranky," Pinkie said, reaching for the dice. "Okay, for my turn, I'll… hey, do you hear singing?"
The door to Coco's apartment swung open, and Twilight danced in, looking for all the world as though she was walking on air. "My head keeps spinning, I go to sleep and keep grinning, if this is just the beginning, my life is gonna be beautiful…"
"Well now," Applejack said soberly. "An' here she said she couldn't sing."
Twilight snatched up Pinkie in her hooves and danced across the room, still singing. "I've sunshine enough to spread, it's like the stallion said, 'Tell me quick – ain't love like a kick in the head?'"
"It sure is!" Pinkie said, giggling. She disentangled herself. "Did something really, really good happen?"
"She kissed me!" Twilight cried out exuberantly. "She kissed me, right here on the horn. See?" She pointed to the spot, where a faint smudge of blue lipstick could barely be seen. "She's so wonderful…"
"That's… awfully impulsive of her," Coco mumbled. "Now what is she playing at?"
"Good going, Twilight!" Spike said, giving her a playful elbow nudge. "So does this mean we can pack up and leave? I mean, not that it's not fun to hang out with you, Coco, and the girls, but…"
"A-actually, she said she wanted to see what I'd come up with next," Twilight said with embarrassment.
Rainbow Dash facehoofed. "Told you she'd milk it for all its worth," she said to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy giggled in response. "Oh, let her have a little fun. You'd do the same thing if somepony started fawning over you."
"I would not!" Rainbow protested. But then she grinned. "Yeah, I definitely would. Still, this better not take too long. I know Raindrops said she could handle the weather chores on her own, but…"
"I promise I'll make up for everything when we get home," Twilight said quickly.
"Oh, don't fret over that, Twilight," Rarity said blithely. "I for one enjoy this little excursion. It's nice to know that romance isn't dead." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Though I can't help but feel as though I've forgotten something…"
Meanwhile, in Ponyville…
"You mean 'flammable' and 'inflammable' means the same thing?" Scootaloo said. "What a gyp!"
"Yeah, but it sure was nice of Rarity to let us stay at her place while she's away with the others," Apple Bloom said. "She did say we could stay, right?"
"She never said we couldn't!" Sweetie Belle said. "And I'm definitely sure everything here was insured anyway."
"Well, it can't have been anything important," she decided.
"Say!" Pinkie suddenly said. "We should totally go and see Trixie's show! Like a celebration! I bet it's gonna be awesome!"
"I don't know, Pinkie," Twilight said uncertainly. "I'm not sure she'd be happy to see you girls, and, well, it might bring up old memories. Bad memories."
"She'll figure out that we're here sooner or later, if she hasn't already," Rarity said dismissively. "Assuming somepony hasn't told her." She gave Coco a friendly but meaningful glance.
"I haven't," Coco protested. "But she might have figured it out by herself."
"You could think of it as an acid test," Rarity continued. "If she tries anything nasty with us, then she clearly hasn't changed much and probably isn't the girl for you. But if she plays nice, well… Of course, that assumes all of you behave yourselves as well."
"Ah, don't get your tail in a bunch," Rainbow said. "I won't try anything. Unless she asks me to get up on stage. There's only so much awesome I can hold back, you know?"
"Well, all right…" Twilight said, still sounding a little uncertain. "Actually, that's a good point, once she, she moves to Ponyville…" Twilight looked flustered at the prospect. "Once she moves back with me she'll have to get along with you all, so it's probably a good idea to, ah, meet you again, and, and… I need to wash up." She ran off to the bathroom. "Spike," she shouted back, "where's my mane brush? Oh, wait, back at the hotel. Coco, can I borrow your brush?"
Spike shook his head, chuckling to himself. "Wow. Twilight's never come apart like this, well… ever. I mean, besides that time with the late friendship report. She always looks like she knows what she's doing, you know?"
"Oh, Spikey-Wikey," Rarity said, laughing. "Twilight is always a level-headed and dependable leader when she knows what she's up against. This time, though… love is a battlefield, and Trixie is proving to be a very unpredictable opponent."
"I love when you talk badass," Spike mumbled.
"Hmm?" Rarity said. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"I-I said, uh…" Spike stammered, "…you're really getting into this. I mean, helping Twilight and all."
"I admit I'm taking an interest," Rarity said. She pinned up the cloth she was working on and put her tools away. "Hardly anypony I know takes romance very seriously. And those that do? Either they hit it off with their special somepony right at the start and everything is just peachy and the most you have to worry is that their wedding works out without any complications… or they don't hit it off, decide it wasn't meant to be, and go their separate ways. Is it too much to ask that a pony at least tries to put a little effort into a courtship?"
"I'm sure it happens more often than you know," Spike said, rolling his eyes.
"So, yes, I'm absolutely elated that Twilight is willing to put up a fight for the pony she loves, and I will do everything I can to see her put a ring on that mare, because it'll mean that romance is not yet dead in this world," Rarity proclaimed. "And if Trixie truly breaks her heart, I'll destroy her."
Twilight suddenly stuck her head out of the bathroom. "Rarity? Have you seen my lavender dress anywhere?"
"Yes, it's back at the hotel," Rarity said. She sighed deeply. "You don't need to dress up for a simple show, Twilight. You'll just look out of place and then Trixie will get upset."
"No!" Twilight cried, retreating into the bathroom again. "Can't dress better, Trixie will hate me…"
"Admittedly, having Twilight not going crazy all the time would be nice too…" Rarity muttered. She sighed and went to save Twilight from her fashion emergency.
Trixie's venue of choice for the night was an outdoors stage down by the east riverside park, surrounded by concession stands and cafés taking advantage of the entertainment. Twilight had at first expected Trixie to use her own wagon as a stage, but according to Coco, Trixie apparently preferred to keep her home separate from her workplace when she was in the city. Or maybe her current wagon just didn't have a built-in stage. Twilight wasn't sure how that thing had worked, anyway.
"So you saw her show the first night you were here?" Fluttershy asked as they took their seats. "And she didn't do anything nasty to anypony?"
"It was a magnificent show," Twilight said confidently. She had elected to not wear anything after all, but other than that she had spent considerably more effort than usual to pretty herself up; a little blush, some eyeliner, and some perfume to hide her usual smell of ink and book dust. "Nothing bad at all happened." She thought for a moment. "Okay, so there was a little altercation with a stallion who was a little… tipsy, but everypony agreed that he was to blame anyway."
"I suppose we'll just have to see for ourselves," Rarity said. She sat down between Twilight and a veritable wall of popcorn tubs. "Did you get enough for everypony, Pinkie?"
Pinkie stuck her head out of the popcorn, holding three carrot dogs and a bottle of soda. "Oh, you mean I should've gotten snacks for you guys too?"
Once they had all found their seats, the rest of the audience soon filled up. On the stroke of eight, the stage curtain pulled aside, and the spotlights turned on.
"Fillies and gentlecolts," a disembodied voice intoned, making itself heard throughout the audience. "Ponies of all ages. Come all and see, the Great, and Powerful…TRRRIXIE!"
There was a burst of smoke in the middle of the stage, right where the spotlights were centered, and with a shower of fireworks Trixie appeared, rearing back proudly. Her starry coat swirled around her and her matching hat was tilted just so, covering her horn. Twilight felt her heart miss a beat, and several audience members started stomping the ground in excitement. "Thank you, thank you," Trixie said. Her gaze swept across the audience, and Twilight could have sworn she saw Trixie grin a little as she spotted their group. "Ponies of Manehattan, visitors from far away, Trixie loves you!" She produced a bouquet of flowers from her cape and threw it into the air where it exploded, showering the audience in petals. "Now then, let's get started! May Trixie have a pony from the audience?"
"Do you think…?" Spike asked Twilight worriedly.
Twilight shook her head. "Just wait and see," she said, keeping her voice down. Thankfully, none of her friends had tried to volunteer; instead, a muscular pegasus with a white coat and buzz-cut magenta mane had joined Trixie on stage.
"Well, hello there," Trixie said with a flirtatious grin. "What's your name, big fella?"
"Uh, Brisk Wind," the pegasus said, looking a little nervous to have everypony look at him. "Junior high-altitude weather specialist, Manehattan weather patrol."
"And can anypony in the audience vouch for you and prove that you're not in fact Trixie's secret assistant?" Trixie asked. Several of Brisk's friends raised their hooves. "Such a shame. Trixie would have loved a big, strong assistant like you. Trixie has several big, heavy props she needs to move around." Several catcalls erupted from the audience, while Brisk Wind blushed like a tomato.
"Wait, is she flirtin' with him?" Applejack said.
"I'm sure that's, um, part of the act?" Fluttershy said, laying a calming hoof on Applejack's shoulder. "It's probably nothing." Twilight gritted her teeth, but didn't say anything.
"So tell me," Trixie continued, "How does a unicorn like you make it onto the weather team? That must be very difficult."
"A-heh," Brisk laughed nervously. "Miss Trixie, I'm a pegasus, see?" He flapped his wings. The audience burst into laughter.
"Is that so?" Trixie said haughtily. "Trixie begs to differ!" She swept her cape off her back and lashed it against Brisk, obscuring him for a moment. As she snatched it back and re-donned it with a flourish, the audience let out a collective gasp.
Standing on stage was a white unicorn. "My… my wings!" Brisk Wind cried in shock. "You turned me into a unicorn! How?"
"Ahahaha! Trixie never reveals her secrets!" Trixie exclaimed triumphantly. She retrieved a red ball from her cape, and threw it at her volunteer. "Catch!" The ball flew at Brisk before being instinctively caught in a white aura. "And catch!" Trixie cried again, throwing another ball. "And catch again!" She threw a third ball.
Brisk, for his part, struggled to hold on to all three balls, tossing them about before losing control and dropping them all. He gave a sheepish bow as the audience laughed.
"That was a spirited attempt at a juggling act," Trixie said. "Still, perhaps magic isn't for you. Stick to flying from now on, okay?" She threw her cape around him again, and when she pulled it away, his wings had returned and the horn was gone. "Dear audience, give a great applause for Brisk Wind!" They clapped their hooves as Brisk flew off the stage and returned to his excited friends.
"Twilight?" Applejack said under her breath. "How in tarnation did that there guy use magic? I figgered she just made 'im look like a unicorn, but…"
"I have absolutely no idea," Twilight said with barely controlled excitement. "I'm definitely going to ask her, though!"
"Good luck with that," Coco said knowingly. "Trixie never explains how she does her things. It's probably not as exciting as you think, though."
"Yes, but still…" Twilight mumbled, staring at the unicorn on stage.
"Some of you may wonder, 'Where did Trixie learn her incredible magic?'" Trixie exclaimed. "Of course, like most unicorns of significant power and skill, Trixie is a graduate of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns." A simple illusory image of Celestia surrounded by bearded and venerable unicorns appeared in the air.
"Hey, didn't you go to that school, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash whispered. Twilight nodded.
"But that was not enough for a pony destined for greatness!" Trixie cried. "So after her graduation, Trixie traveled the width and breadth of Equestria, seeking to hone her skills, finding excitement and adventure! Running with the buffaloes of the San Palomino!" Another image appeared, showing Trixie running side by side with several buffaloes. "Seeking the lost secrets of the Frozen North!" Another image showed Trixie facing a snow-covered giant wolf in a snowstorm. "Studying the hidden secrets of stone-whispering from enigmatic earth ponies!" This image showed Trixie breaking rocks under the stern gaze of an elderly earth pony. "Fighting against the dreaded nightmares from the dark side of the moon!" This image showed a chaotic mess of ponies battling amorphous beasts, Trixie in their midst unleashing bolts of magic. Twilight could swear that some of the other ponies looked familiar. "Playing dangerous odds in the back streets of Las Pegasus, learning deadly arts from Neighponese masters… even facing the dreaded beasts of the Everfree Forest!" This last claim was backed up with an image of a great starry Ursa Minor rearing up before a small unicorn.
"But few adventures are as memorable as those of the sandy dunes of Saddle Arabia, where Trixie studied the secrets of the fakirs, and discovered the three wishes one should never ask from a genie," Trixie said. A faint 'ooh' rippled through the audience. "The fakirs are, as everypony knows, masters of complete bodily control. Hurt them, and they feel no pain." She took a small knife out of her hat and unceremoniously stabbed herself in the foreleg. The crowd gasped.
"Trixie!" Twilight cried in shock.
Trixie completely ignored their reaction and carried on with her act. "Cut them, and they only bleed if they so wish it." She pulled out the knife, revealing that the wound only bled the slightest bit. "Wound them, and they heal with but a thought." She leisurely licked the wound, making it disappear without a trace. The crowd applauded.
"Now, one of the fakirs Trixie met was a snake charmer," Trixie explained. "A most curious individual indeed. He had a certain… kinship with snakes. Trixie has met very few ponies with that kind of skill. Other than the inscrutable Beastmaster of the Everfree, that is…"
Fluttershy blushed furiously as her friends laughed. "Fluttershy, the Beastmaster of the Everfree, huh?" Rainbow Dash snickered.
"Of course, Trixie can't show you exactly what his act looked like, because the Manehattan Zoo keeps turning down Trixie's requests to borrow their snakes," Trixie said with a theatrical look of irritation. The audience tittered. "We'll just have to make do with something else." Gesturing grandly, she pulled out… a long bundle of rope. The audience broke into laughter. "Don't laugh! Trixie will have you know that this rope is high-quality Appleloosan hemp! Trixie's roommate back at school spoke only good things of hemp. Though Trixie wonders if that pony might have used it for other things… no matter. Watch in awe, as the Great and Powerful Trixie commands this rope to come to life!"
Most ponies would have expected Trixie to use magic on the rope. Instead, Trixie floated out a sleek flute, put it to her lips, and started to play it with her forehooves, swaying gently. The rope, seemingly of its own accord, twitched and started to rise.
For several seconds Trixie's warbling tune continued as the rope ascended, hoof length by hoof length, until almost its entire length stood upright, reaching almost twice the height of the stage top with only a single loop resting on the ground as a base. Trixie put the flute away, but the rope stayed vertical even as the music stopped. Then she put her hooves against the rope and shimmied up the length like a spider. Finally reaching the end of the rope, she took hold of it, kicked off, and landed deftly on the very top, balancing on one hoof. "Ta-daa!"
The audience was silent for a moment at the sheer impossibility of the sight, before breaking into cheers. Twilight realized that her mouth was open, and her wings fluttered nervously. "That… that was something I might've expected from Pinkie, not…" she mumbled. "I mean, how? How?!"
"She'll never tell," Coco said with a grin. "It would ruin the mystery."
Up on her lofty perch, Trixie spun around like a ballerina. "Behold! Is Trixie not the greatest unicorn in all of Equestria?" She threw her forelegs wide, and fireworks burst into the sky. "And yet… all things that go up, must eventually come down…" The rope suddenly crumbled under her, and she plummeted.
"Trixie, no!" Twilight cried. This hadn't happened during the previous show she had seen! Was Trixie making her show dangerous on purpose? She panicked, furiously digging through her mind for a spell to save Trixie with, wondering if she could just rush forward and catch the falling mare.
Before she could do anything, though, Trixie's horn flared, and a storm cloud appeared right beneath her. She landed in it with the softest thump, making it release a lightning bolt that scorched the center of the stage. Twilight sighed in relief… along with the rest of the audience.
"Twilight?" Rarity whispered. "Do you think Trixie's related to Rainbow Dash in some way?"
"Well, we know that she could make clouds from the first time she came to Ponyville, and cloudwalking is hardly a restricted spell…" Twilight nervously whispered back.
"I was thinking more of the reckless and suicidally confident behavior," Rarity muttered.
Trixie leapt off the cloud and dispersed it. "Now, for the next act! Trixie will need a volunteer, somepony brave enough to venture into… The Box!" The rear curtains were pulled aside, and a large yellow box decorated with red question marks slid onto the stage. "And… wait. This isn't Trixie's box."
Suddenly the top of the box burst open, and a lanky stallion flew out at Trixie. "Surprise!" he cried, latching on to her with a tight hug. They went down in a heap.
"Wait," Rainbow Dash said, baffled. "Is that… Cheese Sandwich?!"
"Why yes, it is!" The impossible party pony stood up and waved to the crowd. "Did somepony speak my name?"
"Cheese Sandwich, of course," Trixie muttered, getting back to her hooves. "Trixie heard the sad wheezing of your accordion from miles away. Why are you invading Trixie's stage?"
"Well, Trixie-Wixie, it's like this," Cheese began, laying a hoof across her withers. "Ol' Cheese has stood alone for some time now, and I'm not as young as I used to be. And as I was passing through town I saw your poster and thought, 'Wouldn't that fine filly make one fine marefriend?'"
The audience started murmuring. "The nerve!" Rarity muttered. "Twilight, can you believe him?" She turned to look at her friend. "Twilight?"
Twilight stared, slackjawed. "What."
"Marefriend, you say?" Trixie said skeptically. "Are you suggesting that the Big Cheese himself has romantic aspirations for the Great and Powerful Trixie?"
"You hit it right on the head there!" Cheese Sandwich said, tapping his forehead. He pulled out his accordion and started to play and sing. "'Cause Cheese is looking for love, and only one pony will do, one pony alone is on his mind, and that pony is you!"
"Hold it, mister!" Pinkie Pie cried angrily. She passed her popcorn to the stallion next to her and bounded onto the stage in one leap. "What are you trying to pull here, Cheese?"
"Pinkie Pie!" Cheese cried happily. "Wow, this is a surprise! What brings you here?"
"The Friendship Express, but that's not important right now," Pinkie said. "The important thing is that she's taken! Not by me, mind you. By my friend, Twilight Sparkle!" A spotlight fell on Twilight, who made a perfect impression of a deer caught in the headlights. She waved nervously as the rest of the audience turned and stared. Some more murmuring was heard.
"Hey there, princess!" Cheese waved at her. "Well, doesn't that beat all. That'll teach me to wait until the very last minute."
"That's right, Cheese – you lost," Pinkie said gravely. "And let me tell you what you didn't win: a twenty-volume set of the Encyclopedia Equestria, a case of Tortoise Wax, and a year's supply of Chimi-Cherry-Changas, the Dodge Junction Treat. But that's not all. You also made yourself look like a foal in front of dozens of ponies. You brought shame and disgrace to all things cheese for generations to come. You don't get to come back tomorrow. You don't even get a lousy copy of the Great and Powerful home game. You're a complete loser!"
"It's a fair cop," Cheese admitted. "Hey, wanna go bungee jumping tomorrow?"
"Would I?!" Pinkie cried happily.
Trixie, meanwhile, had watched the whole exchange with bemusement. Now she grinned like a cat. "Actually, Trixie wouldn't say that she's taken just yet," Trixie said. "Trixie very much considers herself unattached at the moment."
"What?!" Pinkie Pie protested. "Oh, come on!"
"And here I was going to throw in the towel early!" Cheese said. He put his towel away. "In that case, I'm not giving up!"
"Yeah?" Pinkie said. "Well, neither are we! And you know why? Because we have friendship! And friendship is magic, and magic is power, and power corrupts, and corruption is a crime, and crime never pays, which is why I have to work double shifts and… wait, I think I got something wrong there."
"Oh, there's only one thing wrong with this situation," Trixie said sweetly, leaning against the large mystery box.
"Oh?" Cheese said. "What's that, Trixie-Wixie?"
"You are on Trixie's stage. Trixie did not invite you onto her stage." Two well-placed bursts of fireworks knocked the two party pony interlopers off the stage. Trixie turned to the audience. "Fillies and gentlecolts, ponies of the audience! It is with great regret that we will have to call an unscheduled early end to tonight's performance. It appears that the Great and Powerful Trixie has become the object of contention between the Princess of Magic and the King of Parties. Wish them luck, everypony!" She took off her hat and bowed as the crowd applauded, before vanishing in a burst of smoke.
Stats
Page generated in 0.04 seconds
Total duration
710 users online
1,026,392 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Sounds like Cheese lost on Jeopardy.... baby.
Also, I get the feeling this is setup to make Twilight work harder.
Cheese Sandwich vs. Twilight? Please let this not end in a rap battle.
Big Cheese? I like that nickname in fact everyone should fear the Big Cheese.
Pull a Spike out of her hat!!!!
Dear Twilight:
If you want me, you're gonna have to work for it.
Love,
Trixie.
OH SHIT SON
THIS JUST GOT 30 TIMES MORE INTENSE
we love it
plz moar
Actually Applejack, you can, just ask Applebloom
You really like the manehattan verse, dont you?
Well that was a bit unexpected.
Cheese had better watch out. This might go into Sudden Death Overtime.
5017604 Phaoray is right, Twilight and Cheese Sandwich must face off in an epic beatboxing, breakdancing rap battle judged by DJ Pon-3.
Fantastic chapter. Trixie's entire show was wonderful, and Cheese as a rival is an unexpected twist. I hope we'll see some flashbacks of how they met.
Hmm... an amusing idea indeed. Trixie's plan looks like its getting off to a great start.
Okay, Trixie is good at this. I love Pinkie's Friendship is magic is power bit. It was one hundred percent pure grade A Pinkie. So... Still loving this. A lot of ship fics only have one chapter telling how a pair got together, but this is an adventure in romance. Also it is one of my favorite ships.
I guess all that's left is that I'll see you at the next chapter.
5018026 ...What? No! Don't listen to Howard! He's drunk! And probably a talking duck!
No rap battle!
[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=Mm3ypbAbLJ8]
Oh wait... Wrong story
Followed by:
Just trying to imagine this since... Actually, I can't. I can imagine however that they will be replacing their chairs just after a few applauses. Though you did mention them clapping their hooves further down the line...
I think I'm starting to see Twilight being completely and utterly clueless about where babies come from a slight more of a possibility here. It's cute of her to be curious about the Ponysutra though.
I like this version of Trixie a whole lot better. She's actually talented and is just a braggart for the show. Love this story even though I don't ship Twixie at all!
This... wasn't necessary.
At all.
5017855 It's a good setting. Also you're the first one to catch the reference, so hooray! Have an apple.
5018053 I make absolutely no promises.
5018079 ...Huh. I may have messed up. How shameful of me. Apologies.
And while the idea of Twilight being childishly naive about the basic functions of her body is humorous and ripe with potential for misunderstandings, it would conflict with facts established in chapter 1. Anyway, it's been done (Ponies Writing Erotica is particularly silly and a good read). We'll see if I go that route.
5018132 You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. If you can enjoy the story without it having to be your preference, then I've succeeded.
I generally don't like humor derived at the expense of making a character look bad. It's more interesting to give them a chance to shine. Trixie putting on an actual successful show seemed more entertaining.
I love this Chapter! You are very good. Can't for more chapters............. But I will.
5018053 Sir or Madam, normally I don't like to discuss my private life on fimfiction, nor do I appreciate the allegation that I'm a drunk. As you can see, I have a respectable job as a manager for a musical act:
5018387
Amen to that!
Love Trixie in this story!! and Cheese is an ASS!
DAT Weird al Jeopardy Reference
I'm thinking Trixie planned that with Cheese. She's going to see just how much Twilight truly wants her.
Now, I wonder if Celestia or Cadence read any of the Manehatten newspapers. True, the story would be in the middle of the Entertainment section, but still...
5018690 Probably all planned, but yes, yes he was.
My actual reaction
That was beyond awesome, your good very good please never stop
Somehow this made me think of Strax from Doctor Who.
Rarity: We must use all our cunning to convince Trixie to open her heart to Twilight's feelings. Then, when she drops her guard, we will melt her in acid!
Spike: Not sure about that last part.
Rarity: ...We will not melt her in acid! Instead we will bring her back to Ponyville as a prisoner, so that Twilight may torture her with relentless love and affection!
Spike: You know what, close enough.
*whistles* Dang, Trixie, if the goal was to BSOD Twilight, it worked.
Good magic show. I love how so many of her tales were based on real actual events. Rock farming, the Ursa, the Nightmare Rarity incident,
Hmn, that ending with Cheese, if it's not a setup by the two party planers then I'll be very surprised.
She also sighed over scrolls, cooed at codices, loved lithographs, and felt joy for journals.
That was clever in so many ways I'll remember that forever!
5017593
Work It Harder Make It Better
Do It Faster, Makes Us stronger
More Than Ever Hour After
Our Work Is Never Over
Cheese sandwich? Really? This took a turn towards lame street.
This chapter made the whole story even more unique 10X over.
Okaaay....
A great love is a lot like a good memory. When it's there, and you know it's there, but it's just out of your reach, it can be all that you think about. Then you can focus on it and try to force it, but the more you do, the more you seem to push it away. But if you're patient and you hold still, well maybe, just maybe, it'll come to you. I just have to be somewhere she can find me. And I mean, hell... if you have to live the rest of your life in a memory... you might as well make it a good one.
-Leonard Church/Epsilon Red Vs Blue.
5015678 it is all too likely, i mean, that wouldn't come up with her old-foal sitter or friends (Except pinkie pie, she would probably have the pop-up book [which my hosts' father owns... shiver
]0
KEEL MEE!!! I CANNAE BREETH!
5019375
you're right, i vote fluttershy as dalek sek
FLUTTERSHY: LOVE AND TOLERATE! TOLERATE! TOLERATE!
Pinkie as the 11th doctor
PINKIE: I wear a mustache now, mustaches are cool
Twilight as... clara oswin oswald?
Rainbow as amy and Aj as rory
RD: Shut your stupid face hayseed
Pinkie : you aren't real, you are just plastic and fabricated memor-(AJ bucks pinkie" Welcome back AJ! Ow... I think you popped my ribs
Trixie as Riversong
TRIXIE: hello loves
and cheese as... jack harkness
CS: captain cheese sandwich at your service!
and spike, of course, the silurian
I'm going to pretend that the "Nightmare moon junior" comment was for me.
That's just like Trixie. She's making Twilight's battle for her heart a great big show for ponies to follow via newspapers and live performances. Justifiable, considering she probably feels Twilight owes her a little from the bad turns her career took after Ponyville. The mare lives and breathes showbiz.
But I would also say that Twilight's chances are good, foregone conclusion aside. It seems obvious that Trixie and Pinkie set up this farce to make things interesting and get Twilight motivated; Pinkie suggested they attend, Trixie's reaction to Cheese felt rehearsed, and Mr. Sandwich is not this big of a jerk. He's probably there because he's the most familiar and available participant that Pinkie could have summoned in an unfamiliar locale. So, with friends and acquaintances working to get so much organized, it's safe to say Twi's got a much better shot now. After all, companionship is sparkly. Should be fun.
You mean if, Twilight. Remember what Trixie just told you about getting ahead of yourself? Twice?
This is really good, i like how Trixie is playing with Twilight there, i hope this is not the only story, because i really think the story ends the moment Trixie accept Twilight as her Marefriend. For a moment i wondered if i shoud like him, but Cheese did a goo appearance there, but i hope this should not be a hint to the Cheese X Pinkie pairing.
I know you probably don´t do this pairing here but :
I just think it is a bit lame to have a pairing which liked the same thing or well they are like clone´s It is not that original to have a partypony pairing. That would work better for twins i think. In a story i would like it if Pinkie and Cheese wold search for different partners.
Really nice story, keep up the good work. I think Trixie has the right to play a bit with Twilight, since her friends and Coco try to get them into a relationship as soon as possible. If i haven´t said it yet, then i say it know, i would like a sequel but i wait at which point the story ends
You know your really starting to scare me with the whole moon line the and the luna line and the nightmare moon junior line.
5018916 that seems highly probable
i have always wanted to know, was cheese sandwich inspired by weird al?
I caught the How To Avoid Huge Ships gag right off. Very good. (You owe me a new keyboard
)
5020469 Equestrian bricks fly south for the winter. You can see a flock take off during Three's A Crowd. Majestic.
5020600 Seeing as how he was voiced by Al...
5021371 Yes, yes I do.
5021447 wait wurrt he was?
5019375 Rarity in a nutshell.
5019683 Of course Coco likes Trixie. They're friends. As for Nightmare Moon Jr, I can't be the only one to see parallels between Luna and Trixie. Right?
5021453 Yes, yes he was. The voice actor for Cheese Sandwich was none other than Weird Al Yankovic. Who, as such, had a good deal of impact on his portrayal, including the accordion playing and the polka music.
Is this a great fandom or what?
Why oh why was I reading all of trixies on stage lines in mad moxxies voice.
5022231 Because it's more fun that way?
Jesus. This chapter was great until Cheese....
5022542 Hey! Hey you! Yeah.
Fuck you.
Silver rhymes with Chilver, a female ewe-lamb
Orange rhymes with sporange, a shortened form of sporangium, AKA ferns and mosses.
purple rhymes with curple, the hindquarters of a horse or donkey.
As in: Twilight wants her purple all over Trixie's curple.
*mischevious grin*