Several minutes later, the audience had dispersed but for seven mares and a dragon.
Rarity finally broke the silence. "Well. That happened."
"I can't believe the nerve of that guy!" Rainbow Dash roared. "What, he thinks he can just swoop in with his fancy tricks and his singing and his cheesy acting and steal Twilight's girl like that? I say we we greenlight the Pinkie Party and blow him out of the water!"
"All right!" Pinkie cried happily, throwing confetti. "I've got just the thing!"
"But Rainbow Dash, we like Cheese Sandwich," Fluttershy protested. "Besides, if he's in love with Trixie too, doesn't he deserve a chance as well? Um, for fairness?"
"Hmm…" Rainbow Dash shook her head. "Nah, I'll side with Twilight. Besides, he's got no chance anyway. Trixie's obviously into mares. I can tell from a mile away. I bet she's only leading him on to make Twilight jealous."
"Um, you probably shouldn't be so sure," Coco said. They turned to look at her. "I mean, Trixie told me once that she doesn't really have a preference. She said…" She raised her muzzle and tried to sound like the showmare. "'Trixie cares more about the individual qualities of the pony than what they might have between their legs, thank you very much', or something like that. I'm pretty sure she was serious."
"So she's a waffler," Applejack said disdainfully. She snorted. "Jes' what you'd expect from a showpony. No commitment."
"Like you're one to talk, Miss Married To The Farm," Rainbow scoffed. "When was the last time you went on a date?"
"Now what in tarnation brought that on?" Applejack protested. "Fer that matter, when was the last time you showed interest in anypony not wearin' a blue flightsuit?"
"H-hey, I dated! Back in flight school, all the time!" Rainbow said defensively. "Stallions! Like, sometimes more than one at a time! Like, like, like these wild guys who were in a band! Yeah!"
"So why's it since you moved to Ponyville, all I sees you do is weather work, flight trainin', nappin' or readin' Daring Do?" Applejack said with a smirk.
"Hey!" Rainbow said. "Are you saying that I can't get a date?"
Hearing the familiar sound of the bull-headed duo descending into yet another fight, Spike tried to tune it out and turned his attention to Twilight instead. "Can you believe those two, Twilight… Twilight?" Twilight had been silent since Trixie's departure, and with the others arguing as usual, he hadn't paid too much attention to her. Twilight was hunched over in her seat, staring at the ground and muttering something under her breath. Spike worried; had this finally pushed her over the edge? "Hey, Twilight, come on. Don't be upset again, this is just a minor setback, okay?"
"I must have her," Twilight said with hollow voice.
"What did you say?" Spike asked.
Twilight grabbed him with her hooves and faced him with a manic, wide-eyed grin. "I must have her! I must! I mean, did you see that? What she did? How she acted? Such style, such grace, such panache!" Twilight leapt up on the narrow back of the seat in front of her, balancing on one hoof for a few seconds before toppling over. "Those illusions! She made herself sound like a bona fide hero!"
"You know who else is a bona fide hero?" Spike asked. "You. Us. We've saved the world, what, five times now?"
Twilight didn't seem to care. "Has she actually been to Saddle Arabia? Was that a real knife? How did she do those rope tricks? Magic flute, maybe? And casting a spell in mid-air? Oh, I want her to teach me her tricks. I bet I can teach her some of my spells too, and she'll make them look so beautiful!" She sighed. "Just like herself. Trixie, with your coat so blue, won't you hold my heart so true?"
Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay, so you're not breaking down and being depressed, that's something, at least. Still, you're going to have to outscore Cheese Sandwich, and that guy's got like a PhD in making ponies have a good time. We're gonna have to call in Pinkie for this."
Pinkie popped up behind Twilight and saluted clumsily, whacking her forehead. "My party cannon is at your disposal, my liege. Always. Always."
"I still advise the traditional route," Rarity said, sitting down next to Twilight. "I have a feeling that it really appeals to her." Pinkie made an unearthly growl. "Of-of course we'll need a party eventually!" Rarity stammered. "We'll just have to make sure it all works out properly! And it has to be a spectacular party that really outshines anything Cheese can do, right? Right?"
Pinkie's eyes widened in shock. "Ohmygosh, you're right! I can't make a half-baked party, that won't do! I need supplies! Call in favors! Maybe I can ask Cheese— no, wait, forget that, he's the enemy. Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh, so much to do!" Pinkie bounded out of the seats and into the night, faint sproinking noises fading into the distance.
"Pinkie's right," Twilight said with determination. "You're all right. I need to step up the game. Applejack!"
"An' what about mah brother?" Applejack said angrily, still arguing with Rainbow Dash. "Most popular an' e-li-gi-ble bach'lor in Ponyville, if ah know the rumors right. The girls at home can't stop starin' at him!"
"Oh please," Rainbow scoffed, rolling her eyes dramatically. "The guy thinks girls have cooties! Did you see how he acted at the Fall Festival? The way he looked at Sweetcream Scoops, you'd think he was afraid she'd bite him."
"So maybe he don't like forward girls!" Applejack protested. "He's jus' waitin' fer Miss Right! And what does mah brother have ta do with this, anyhow?"
"Hey, you're the one who mentioned him!" Rainbow retorted. "Face it, Fluttershy gets more attention from guys than you."
"Um, Discord and I aren't like that…" Fluttershy tried to interject.
"Applejack!" Twilight shouted again, interrupting them. "I need to learn how to play the guitar!"
"The what now?" Applejack asked. "Why? Sorry, can't help ya there…"
"Eh, I could teach you," Rainbow Dash said. She noticed the others' surprised looks. "What? I said I used to date musicians. I can totally give you some guitar lessons." She yawned. "In the morning. I'm ready to drop. But great thinking, Twilight. Everypony knows playing the guitar gets you the girls."
"Right," Rarity said. "Guitar lessons in the morning, sleep now. Let's get back to the hotel for now. We'll see you tomorrow, Coco…" She looked concerned. "Are you sure we're not intruding too much on you?"
"You're not," Coco said. "I can't drop out now, can I?"
"Thank you," Rarity said. "Trixie is lucky to have a friend like you."
Coco blushed at the compliment. "It's nothing. Everypony needs a little help and generosity now and then."
Trixie was walking home in the evening air of downtown Manehattan. Actually, that's not correct. 'Bouncing' would be more accurate. There was a marked spring in her step, and she occasionally broke into outright skipping, humming a cheery tune to herself.
"Trixie!" a voice cried out. Coco Pommel ran up to her, panting heavily.
"Hi, Coco!" Trixie said happily. "What are you doing here?"
"Trixie, are you serious about this?" Coco asked. "Are you really going to let them fight over you? A few days ago you were practically unraveling because one pony was interested in you, and now…"
"Oh, I was," Trixie agreed. She smirked. "But then somepony convinced me to just play along. See what happens, enjoy the attention. After all, the Great and Powerful Trixie deserves to be treated like a lady, you said. So why shouldn't she get to be courted two times over?"
"Trixie…" Coco chided. "Is this some game to you? Getting back at Twilight?"
Trixie stared silently at her friend for several seconds. "Coco… I'm actually a little bit insulted by that. I promised myself once that I wouldn't cause trouble for those ponies again, you know. I have no intention of 'getting back' at anypony. Not anymore. On the other hoof…" She grinned. "It's just fair to give each contestant their shot at the prize, wouldn't you agree?"
"So you really are interested in Cheese Sandwich?" Coco inquired.
"He's handsome, independently wealthy, and funny in a crazy way," Trixie said. "Trixie could do worse. Besides, he understands the life of a traveling showpony. He…" He knows the need for freedom. "He understands Trixie's way of life."
"And Twilight Sparkle?" Coco continued.
"She's smart, nice, friendly, very pretty, and crazy in a funny way," Trixie said. "Plus the whole princess thing. Trixie could do much worse. So you can tell your friends that Trixie is in for the long game." She smirked. "Yes, Coco, Trixie has figured out your part in this little scheme."
"...Sorry," Coco mumbled.
"It's okay, Trixie is still your friend," Trixie said. She hugged Coco, and the seamstress briefly wondered when Trixie had become so affectionate. "It's probably for the best, anyway. It's good to have somepony on the inside. You can tell Twilight Sparkle that Trixie is rooting for her."
"You are?" Coco said, surprised.
"Certainly!" Trixie said proudly. "Of course, Trixie is rooting for Cheese Sandwich as well. Only fair, after all."
Coco sighed. "Have it your way, Trixie. Just… I'm worried for you, you know? I don't want to see you end up empty-hooved and heartbroken if you lose both. Good night, Trixie." She wandered off back home.
Trixie smiled wanly as her friend disappeared in the night. "Perhaps, Coco. Perhaps not. Still, it's Trixie's choice, isn't it?"
And elsewhere, at the very top of the Clydesler Building, a single pony gazed out over the city, and smiled wolfishly.
"Manehattan… the city that never sleeps…" Pinkie Pie chuckled darkly. "Rest now, little ponies, for when my party starts, you will never sleep, ever again! Mwahahahaha!" She rubbed her hooves in anticipation. "This time, though… this time I'll need some very special ponies… oh, won't they be happy to see me again?"
She stood gazing out over the city for another minute before a thought struck her. "Wait, how do I get down from here?"
Evening turned to morning, and morning turned to lunch, and lunch saw Trixie back at the Botanical Garden. It was her favorite place to eat, after all, and if some ponies felt the need to point and stare because Trixie was great and powerful enough to set the hearts of royalty aflame, then let them. Why did she care in the first place?
"This is unbelievable," she muttered.
"Yeah, get a load of this menu," Spike said. "Hundreds of entrees, and not a single thing with gems. You'd think this place was multicultural, but nooo…"
Her choice of lunchtime companion was unusual, though. Or it would have been if she'd had a choice to begin with. These days, it seemed everypony and everyone took liberties with her privacy.
"That's not what Trixie means and you know it," Trixie said. "Why are you here, dragon?"
"Oh, you know, Coco was caught up in some of her work, and I figured with the way things were going it might be a good idea for us to get to know each other a little better," Spike said. "You know, since Twilight keeps saying that you're so much better now, and all. Name's Spike, by the way. I guess we've never been introduced properly."
"Does she now," Trixie said. "Trixie is still surprised to see you, since you think Trixie is so… what was the word? 'Unbearable'?"
He glared at her. "Oh, come on. That was years ago. You know, the others are giving you another chance, so how about cutting us some slack in return, huh?" He returned to the menu. "Hmm, maybe I can just order an omelet and crush some emeralds over it…"
"Hmph. Fair enough," Trixie said. "Trixie appreciates the gesture. Waiter!" She flagged down a passing pony. "Trixie will have her usual cress salad with radish sprouts, some crisped beets and a hay shake. And an omelet for her companion."
"Hey, you don't have to order for me!" Spike protested. "Uh, and a glass of cider?" he added to the waiter, who rushed off.
Trixie rolled her eyes. "What, you have that antiquated notion that the stallion is supposed to make the order? How droll. You won't earn chivalry points on the behalf of your mistress, you know."
"'Mistress'?" he said, giving her a wry look. "That's kinda messed up."
Trixie shrugged. "Isn't that why she loves me, though? So, given any thought to what you'll do if things turn out the way she hopes?"
"Dunno," Spike said. "I'd hate to move out of the Ponyville library, but I guess it beats hanging around while you two are being all lovey-dovey and kissy-mushy."
"You think Trixie plans on moving back to that little town?" Trixie said with a snort. "That's a laugh."
"You seemed to like it just fine when you took it over," Spike said.
Silence.
"That wasn't… that wasn't the plan," Trixie said quietly. Her eyes were locked on the table. "I just wanted to show everypony how great I was. That I could match Twilight Sparkle. So they'd have to take me seriously again."
Spike swallowed nervously. He had enjoyed the light-hearted back-and-forth ribbing, but apparently even Trixie drew her lines in the sand, and he'd just stepped over them. "Sore point?" Trixie nodded. "I'm sorry."
"Thanks," she mumbled. "Let's just… drop it, okay?"
The silence returned for several seconds until their food arrived. Spike poked suspiciously at his omelet, then took out a large emerald and crushed it over his meal.
"Dragon diet, huh," Trixie said. "Isn't that a waste of valuable gems, though?"
"Emeralds are delicious," Spike said, digging into his meal with delight. "Don't knock it 'til you tried it."
"Unfortunately, ponies don't eat rocks," Trixie scoffed, taking a forkful of salad. "Well, except for that weird rock farmer Trixie used to know."
"Weird rock farmer who eats rocks?" Spike asked. "You mean Maud Pie?"
"You've met her?" she asked incredulously.
"She's Pinkie Pie's sister," he said. "Yeah, she's weird."
"Mm-hm," Trixie agreed. "Nice in her own strange way, though. Never said a mean word to Trixie."
"Yeah, I guess," Spike agreed. He couldn't imagine Maud caring enough to bother insulting anypony to begin with.
They continued to eat in silence for a while. "You know what this place needs?" Spike suddenly said. "Some music!" He snapped his claws.
In response, a guitar chord rang out from above. Twilight Sparkle dropped out of the sky, perched on a small cloud and holding an acoustic guitar in her hooves. She looked serene as she strummed the instrument by magic and raised her voice.
She studies the classic works, from the ancient ages before
'Watch now in awe' she says, just like great Kimono
A built-in challenge for the Elements of Harmony
At anytime an invitation you can't decline
"That's better," Spike said with a smirk. "You like?"
Trixie felt her lips curl into a tiny smile. "Trixie likes. Of course, Mercury Free's songs lose a bit on simple acoustic, but…"
Twilight twitched involuntarily, but continued to play.
Aperitifs and apple pies, confident in any scene, extraordinarily sweet
She's a Magic Queen, fireworks that make you scream
Smoke and mirror, magic beam, guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime
"Still, you have to be a little impressed," Spike said quickly. "Would you believe that she didn't know a single chord this morning?"
"Really?" Trixie cooed. "Now that's something. Fast learner, huh? Trixie will blow your mind any day, princess." She blew a kiss at Twilight, who furiously laid into the next verse.
Recommended at the price, insatiable in appetite
Wanna try?
To avoid complications she always kept on the move
In conversations she always had something to prove
Met a dragon from Chineigh
Went down to Honah-Lee
Then again incidentally
If you're that way inclined
Twilight put the guitar aside and leaned down, leveling her best and most rehearsed sultry look at Trixie. But before she could say anything, a nearby bush exploded and disgorged Cheese Sandwich, accordion in his hooves. Two stallions appeared behind him, both wearing sunglasses and carrying a guitar and a small drum set respectively. He donned a pair of shades of his own and they began to play.
I've got a magical filly
(Tell us what she's like)
A stage miracle really
(Does she ride or hike?)
She has a starry costume
(She likes to dress in style)
And intoxicating perfume
(But most I like her smile)
Oh, her flowing mane is blowing in a transcendental wind
And she wonders without knowing, where did we begin…
Twilight stood up on her cloud and pushed her mane back with a determined look. A bolt of magic erupted from her horn and into the guitar, warping the sound.
I was hers, from the moment we first met
With a simple magic spell it took no time
Call it fate, or just two hearts enchanted
But I never felt so good since I've been hers…
I've got a love so pure, yes a love so sure
The kind of love you hold so tight
I've got a love so pure, yes a love so sure
The kind of love that lasts a mare for life
Cheese tossed the accordion aside and grabbed the guitar from his fellow player, tearing into a new song.
She's my magic pie,
Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise.
Tastes so good, make a stallion cry,
Sweet magic pie.
Swingin' on the main stage,
Swingin' on the road.
Swingin' where we want,
Cause she calls no place her home.
Swingin' to the left,
And swingin' to the right.
If I think about hoofball,
I'll swing all night, yeah.
"Wait, is he… implying what it sounds like he's implying?" Spike asked nervously.
"Depends," Trixie said. She winked at Cheese and blew him a kiss as well. "Are you old enough to know what he might be implying?"
All of a sudden the sky split into a cascade of colors, and Rainbow Dash rocketed out of the clouds and landed next to Twilight, a synthesizer strapped to her chest. They nodded to each other. Twilight grinned confidently and they started playing.
It's poetry in motion
And when she turned her eyes to me
As deep as any ocean
As sweet as any harmony
Mmm – but she blinded me with magic
She blinded me with magic!
And fooled me with some sleight of hoof
When she's dancing next to me
Blinding me with magic – magic!
Magic!
I can hear thunder storms
Blinding me with magic – magic!
Magic!
Mmm – but it's poetry in motion
And now she's making love to me
The sun and moon high above
The elements of harmony
Mmm – but she blinded me with magic
And dazzled me with fireworks
"You gotta love this one, though," Spike said confidently. "What do you say, Trixie? Trixie?"
"I… I…" Trixie stammered.
"What's the matter?" Spike asked. "You've gone all red."
"It's… good," Trixie said quickly. "Yes, really good." She buried her face in the remains of the salad.
When I'm dancing close to her
Magic!
I can smell the black powder
Blinding me with magic – magic!
Magic!
Magic!
It's poetry in motion
And now she's making love to me
The sun and moon high above
The elements of harmony
She blinded me with magic
She blinded me with magic!
And hit me with some wondrous spells...
Trixie drained her shake and placed the cup on her empty plate. "We must do this again, Spike. This lunch has been far more pleasant than expected. But now Trixie must be off. Give my regards to the princess, won't you?" She turned to leave.
"Uh, okay?" Spike said uncertainly. "So, uh, which one did you like best?"
Trixie glanced back and smiled, before running off, laughing softly.
Twilight jumped off the cloud and landed next to Spike. She gave a courteous nod to Cheese, who doffed his hat grandly before dashing off in another direction. "So, how did she take it? Did she like it? Did she?"
"Well, the good news is, you probably scored a few points this round," Spike said. "I get the feeling she really liked the last one."
"Yes!" Twilight cheered. "Um, what's the bad news?"
"She stiffed us with the lunch bill," he said.