FoME Thinks Too Much: The Bene Sediment · 2:22pm May 4th, 2020
To most of Equestria, the Bene Sediment are just one more eccentricity in the culture of rock farmers, a peculiar priesthood that propitiates the spirits of metals and minerals to provide bountiful harvests. And for most ponies, their knowledge of them, if they’ve even heard of them, ends there.
In the early days of Equestrian rock farming, that was all the Bene Sediment were, their rites acting as a mental focus for earth pony magic. They came with the first rock farmers who traveled south from the Crystal Empire, eager and glad to claim the barren lands ill-suited for vegetable crops, and flourished with them.
But when Sombra took the throne, refugees poured out of the Empire… and then came to an abrupt halt once he forcibly closed off immigration through a blend of draconian laws, mind control, and a wall of jagged obsidian around the capital. When king and empire both vanished, the Bene Sediment found themselves the only ones who could preserve the culture and memory of the Empire.
At first, they took on this task openly, scribing and transcribing records oral and written. The princesses helped them in this effort at first… but other concerns soon came upon the city of Everfree. When Luna went mad and Celestia withdrew to her mountain fastness, the Bene Sediment were left to tend a population increasingly indifferent to their legacy, with many foals leaving their families on roam-springa and never returning to the dismal land of their birth. The legacy of rock farming seemed destined to fade to a footnote, held on merely by economic need and grim duty.
The Bene Sediment could not countenance this. They began to plan.
Their greatest seers, who went beyond merely consuming stone and drank a mineral brew that even dragons would find toxic, foresaw a way to maintain the rock farms through the coming centuries. In their visions, they even foresaw one who would be the ultimate expression of their ways and philosophy, a super-pony who was to earth ponies what the lost Starswirl was to unicorns.
Traveling that road would not be easy. The Bene Sediment drew on every mote of social capital at their disposal, establishing what would become time-cherished traditions that would manipulate the fate of generations. They insist to this day it has been for the greater good, and there is certainly some truth there. How much is a matter for debate.
Regardless, the Pairing Stone and other manipulations guided the bloodlines as those bygone Stonemothers saw fit, the visions rechecked every generation with tactics adjusted accordingly. Finally, the prophecy seemed to be fulfilled by the joining of the houses of Pie and Quartz, as Cloudy begat Maudalina. Even as a swaddling foal, Maud could make pebbles tremble.
But then a complication arose. Anypony could tell there was something unusual about Pinkamena, who displayed powers the likes of which most Bene Sediment took years if not decades to cultivate. And after the Rainboom, a debate ignited in shadowed gathering halls, one which rages to this day. Indeed, with the advent of Mudbriar and Cheese Sandwich, some argue the prophecy is still a generation away from fulfillment.
Unknown to nearly every being on the planet and quietly ignored by the forces of Harmony, the Bene Sediment continue to argue whether Maud, Pinkie, or neither is the Quartzite Has-a-Rock.
Have mercy on us, Fan. We are not made of stone.
It seems to me that there is a kernel of a really entertaining parody here if you choose to expand it into a full story. But who is going to play the part of Emperor Leto?
Well punned, sir. Though I'm not entirely sure if this is a serious post or not, I love the worldbuilding. (Might form the basis of an excellent entry for one of those feghoot contests, no?)
For those in the dark:
This entire post is lousy with references to Frank Herbert's Dune series, in which a series of witches called the "Bene Gesserit" institute a breeding program to eventually produce the superhuman "Kwisatz Haderach" (The second word pronounced, more ot less, as "had-a-rock").
So, exactly how big do these quarray eels get, and just what relationship do they have with rock farming?
Oh. I didn't like Dune, but this was neat. You should read Hyperion and The Fall of Hyperion. That's some good sci-fi.
Fear is the mindkiller.
I recognized the reference from the title alone. Also remember that the pairing had two more daughters and one of them is Pinkie's twin.
"What's in the box?"
"Rocks."
"Oh."
God dammit, FOME.
Just please promise me you'll keep it at under novel length.
I don't know the reference but I will warn... A leading rock factor for kidney stones is a sedimentary lifestyle.
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Depending on which group is right, Li'l Cheese, his cousin, or one of their kids.
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I'm not sure how serious this one is. There's definitely some legitimate headcanon in there, like rock farming being an import from the pre-Sombran Crystal Empire, but I don't have any plans for exploring a millennium-long conspiracy that culminates in Pinkie Pie.
At least, not right now I don't.
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All I know is that we have eelsign the likes of which Faust has never seen.
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Premise certainly looks neat. I'll have to give it a look.
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Giggle at the Ghosties is just the Litany Against Fear put to music.
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Yeah, but neither Limestone nor Marble showed signs of being the Chosen One to the rock witches. Powerful and warped by the work that went into making their sisters, but not quite past the threshold themselves.
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"Also pain."
"Is the pain delivered through rocks?"
"Yes."
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I don't have anything specifically planned for this idea, but I am plugging away on a story of Pinkie and Limestone having a Pie Sister Surprise Swap Day that uses elements of it.
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I deserved something like that after putting this to digital paper.
Woo! Great thoughts!
Thanks for the link to "Roam-Springa"!
Oh my God I remember this
FOME, seriously, you could create whole new spin-off series' with your brilliance
MTGverse, Saturatedverse, DitzyWalkerverse, and I'm sure you could put together several others from your oneshots and blogposts alone! This could just be my rabid fangirl showing, but I'm gonna quote a sprite and state that I believe in you 
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I always thought it suspicious that the Quartzite Has-a-Rock, and a known lithovore with strange eyes (and who spends way too much time with a gem miner/fashionista), both end up in backwater Ponyville, even though neither of them were from there originally, the result of generational plotting of the royal monarch.
This is all excellent of course but now I’m hung up on how the major villains in Sailor Moon often have mineral names...
Have the Bene Sediment be allies of an otherworldly entity called Metalia? Jadeite, Zoisite, Beryl and the rest would be good sinister backers.
Ooh! Have them be Umbrum cultists! Sombra distrusted their plans and exiled them. And now their chosen one is... Pinkie Pie.
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Country mares make do
the last sentence hit me like a ton of bricks; I don't know why I didn't see it coming but fuck me
The puns must flow!
I haven't read Dune but this feels ripe for a Life of Brian meets The DaVinci Code story.
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Pinkie Pie as the prophesied chosen one of the dark cultists is... alarming. For the cultists. That’s one reason they’re SURE it’s Maud. It has to be... right? Right???
Other Party Ponies are also results of their meddling, might have beens like Count Fenring etc. Little Cheese is like Alia. Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich awakened to the power of Party, but Little Cheese was born with it.
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I even had Pinkie say something similar at one point. Strange minds think alike?
Rock farmers are also usually reticent folk. Should an interloper, particularly one who is not an earth pony, attempt to ply the trade or blab about it to outsiders, they must pass the Gum Jabber.
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The mineral theme carried on to a limited extent. S2 was gemstones (except for the Ail & Ann arc, which we don't mention much). Only the witches 5 in S3 were named after minerals. S4-5 didn't use minerals at all. The S1 generals were minerals, and in a nicely specific touch, they stuck to green minerals, no less.
Oh, boy. It had to happen eventually; a Dune reference.
At some point before the rainboom, there was an incident where posession of an interesting rock was offered to the sisters and this transpired...
Maud: Dibs.
Gym “Or was that trying too hard for the obvious reference?” Quirk
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Makes sense, they were from the old Earth Kingdom after all. Most other threats didn’t have anything to do with that.
Another cousin of the Pie family turned out to be skilled in earthworks and medicine. His name was Gurney Hillock.
Man, we could play around with this for days.
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Still, the fun part there is that it gets other people thinking...
I do have a tendency to shed ideas without the wherewithal to see them through to their fullest potential.
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Well, we already have Holder's Boulder to suggest some degree of draconic influence on the Pies...
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Part of me hesitates to crowbar in another series into this mess. Part wants to see how many more I can get away with. Plus, Nephrite would fit right in among an entire secret society devoted to divination, even he'd be a bit of an odd duck for putting so much stock in the stars. That stuff's unicorn business.
And yes, Pinkie and cults don't mix. Especially not as far as the cults are concerned.
Thinking about it, there is something surreal and wonderful about Cheese as Chani. "Tell me about the gravels of your homeland, Pinkie."
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"The sleeper must awaken."
"Dun wanna."
"Pinkie, the bakery opens in half an hour."
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Fun fact: I considered mentioning the Gum Jabber in the blog itself but couldn't find a way to work it in organically. Maud passed the test of equinity by not succumbing to the pony instinct of socialization. As for Pinkie, she technically didn't pass, but only because Gaea Moissanite blinked and found that Pinkie was now administering the test.
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Far from my first one on the site.
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Well, it's not like she can be Usul, the base of the pillar. That's Stygian's job.
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"Luna, I've been looking through some of the historical records, and..."
"He was never interested in Beryl, and she needed to accept that. We hashed it out in her dreams."
It's like the Weirding Way was tailor-made for Pinkie.
Due to the Bene Sediment's program of selective breeding, the major houses had been intertwined for some time. The Pies and the Apples are distant relatives, and the Apples, known for their business acumen, are House "I'll Trade Ya These."
Okay, as someone who was... extremely unenthused by that little... blip in the finale and does not appreciate reminders, I intend it as a compliment and hope it will be taken as such when I say that that final pun made the whole thing worth it.
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The Pies, known for their... innovative quarrying methods, are House "Our Cannon."
Hah! Nice. :)
Good pun, sir. Truly you are the Kumquats-Häagen-Dasz, whose soul has a rich and creamy center.
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The Gum Jabber is the ultimate test of patience and stoicism.
To pass it, one must sit absolutely still and allow Gummy to gnaw on their hoof until he loses interest.
In extreme cases, the test can last for days.
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One must, of course, not forget the mostly equinitarian family that later split off from the apples.
They work tirelessly in kitchens around the world to create the ultimate food and are known as House "They lack soup"
I unironically love this. Setting the rock farmers’ origins in the Empire gets my brain juices flowing. The chosen one aspect of it also partially lines up with an idea I’ve been kicking around for a couple of years.
Hmmmmmmmm
Came back because I bookmarked this.
What's the Stonemothers' plan for the Quartzite Has-a-Rock, beyond "They Exist"?
Wait... Stones... Crystals... Elements of Harmony... Was this all a plan by them to affect the Tree / Treehouse of Harmony? ... Because that's made from crystals... And Pinkie's an Element of Harmony...
And the Stonemothers likely never expected the Crystal Empire to reappear...
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I mean, I'm not wholly sure what the Bene Gesserit's plan was with Paul. Especially since he arrived ahead of schedule after his mother went rogue... which raises some interesting questions about Cloudy Quartz.
In any case, centuries of politics, infighting, and the freedom to work on a timescale of generations left the Stonemothers unable to react in any meaningful way as world-shaking revelations came with scant years between them. By the time they'd decided what to do about the returned Empire, Pinkie was five moons pregnant. Their machinations definitely had an impact on the wider world. Only they know if it was the one they'd intended.