Sunflower hardcover book, e-book, and an explanation of my absence · 2:19am Nov 3rd, 2017
Hi, everyone! Long time, no talk to.
Before I get into the heavy part of this blog post, I wanted to mention that there's an upcoming hardcover printing of Project Sunflower coming up very soon. By which I mean extremely soon. I meant to do a blog post on it ages ago, and it honestly kept slipping my mind.
Here's a link to Djazz's post about it, which has all the info. If you're interested, feel free to check it out here!!
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/1563/project-harmonics/thread/326742/project-sunflower-book
So... I've been pretty inactive recently, and I feel I owe an explanation. Kinda heavy stuff below, so feel free to skip it.
This has been one of those situations where I go and look at the dates on my last published chapters and stories, and my last blog post, and I simply can't believe how much time has gone by. It hasn't seemed like it to me, honestly. It really feels like I just wrote that last blog post a little while ago, maybe a few weeks, tops. And for my last story? To me, it feels like just a month or two ago. And my most recent chapter of Sunflower: Harmony sure as heck doesn't feel like it's been over a year.
A year. Damn.
In my mind, I feel like not that much time has gone by. I haven't abandoned writing, or the fandom, or writing fanfics. I still have a ton of ideas, and I really want to get them all out. But the reality is much different. It's actually been many months since I've been active on the site, and I honestly haven't been writing much.
There are excuses for that... actually pretty good ones, if I'm going to be honest. Between work and a succession of family illnesses, I've been feeling pretty damned numb. I think that's why it feels like time has just gotten away from me. And, honestly, I haven't been taking care of myself like I should.
That last part may need some explanation. There's a difference between knowing something logically, and knowing it emotionally. So, logically, how important it is for someone who is a caretaker for someone who is ill—mentally or physically—to make sure you take care of your own needs, too. You can't care for someone else if you're on the verge of collapse, after all. But knowing that same thing emotionally? Ah, that's a different story.
When someone you care for deeply says that they need you and asks you if you can help them, it's pretty easy to put aside those plans for yourself: that little bit of selfish indulgence that would help keep you centered, that full night's rest that you crave, that day of just relaxing and being by yourself to recharge, that one or two thousand words you wanted to write before bed. After all, it's just one day, right? It's not a big deal, not when someone so important needs you so badly. And that's what you tell yourself the next night, too. And the next, and so on and so on.
Speaking from experience, it's hard to recognize when you're in this situation. It's hard to see outside of the box you're in. I'm getting help with that now, though. And I've got some great friends who've realized how much help I need, and have started to help me, too.
I've made promises before about getting going on Harmony again, about publishing new chapters soon. I feel incredibly guilty about that, because I obviously haven't done it. So, I'm not going to do that this time. What I am going to say is that I haven't abandoned it and I fully intend to finish it... I just don't know when that will be. And I can't blame anyone who's stopped reading or lost interest for that, because I've had quite a few fanfics that I've been into just... stop. And it's always a letdown.
So, my sincere apologies for that, as well.
Also, I've got a lot of unread PMs in my inbox right now. I simply haven't felt up to addressing them. It's definitely another thing I feel massive guilt over. I may not get to all of those old ones, but I'm going to make an effort to be on top of any that are sent from now on. Kind of a fresh start, in a way. So, if you're waiting for a reply to a message you sent, please feel free to send a new one, in order to get my attention.
And that's... Well, I guess that's the state of the author right now. Sorry if that seems kind of bleak.
I'm going to actually turn in early tonight, for a change.
Thanks for reading!
~Hoopy
It's okay, man. Being alive is really really difficult. Take it slow and do what you can
Keep on keepin' on, Hoopy. Take all the time you need.
Just keep hopping Hoppy. We'll always be here
Has it really been a year? damn, where did that time go?
Glad to hear from you Hoopy! Yeah, life is hard sometimes :/
The printing sign-up ends on MONDAY, November 6th. I wish I could extend it, but it's delayed as it is. Happy 5th anniversary to Project: Sunflower!
I'm sorry to hear that Hoopy. I've been there before, and honestly, it isn't easy. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Best of luck to you, and I hope everything turns out alright. There's no rush, seriously, take as much time as you need.
Good luck on getting that book out, Hoops. Lemme know if you need advice!
I'm sorry you've been having a rough time, and I'm glad you finally got some help. Whenever you feel ready to write again, there will still be people here to read it (myself included).
Sorry for your loss and the rough times, Hoppy!
Hope things get better for you someday.
Something similar happened to me. Mom injured her self and there were several boys including me to take care of her. At first we were always ready to help but this was a load on us because were always nervous if we can leave or if we can do our own stuff because we always felt like we had to be near her. But we feel guilty if we weren’t prepared to help always. After two weeks the stress was really getting all of us and we sat down and actually divided up the days that we would be, for lack of better term, on call . things are going better now that there’s days we know we don’t have to worry and times we know we don’t to worry and times that we do and it’s helped immensely.
Caregiver working themselves sick doesn’t really help much in the end. If you find yourself in that situation take some time off or you get someone else to help you. Looks like you’re doing the right thing. Good luck.
Good to know you're still around. I hope the cute cartoon horses (and sometimes humans) continue to be a source of comfort.
I’m glad to hear you are still around, I just found Project: Sunflower recently and it’s one of my favorite non horror stories on this site. Take the time you need to get help, believe me it’s better to get better first before throwing yourself into your work again. I can’t wait for the newest updates, and if I can afford the e-book I will buy it too. Best of luck.
Glen Gorewood
I hope things go better for and please take care of yourself and only write if you feel like you'e up to it. Best of luck to you.
I feel you, man. I'm in an incredibly similar situation right now. Stay strong. Take the time you need to get yourself back on track.
It takes a lot of maturity to admit something like that. Speaking from experience, when you're caring for a loved one, you feel like every minute you take for yourself is a "guilty pleasure" or "being selfish"...when in fact, no, you need to take that time for yourself. You can't pour someone a glass of water if your own bucket is empty, y'know?
Stay strong, my friend.
So, I signed up but it's unfortunate that the shipping and cost is so high. Especially if you live in the US...
While my situation is not the same, I feel work is dragging me down and I have far too many ideas that have been ignored... it hurts not to write.
*hugs*
Don't worry mate. I'll happily pick up where we left of with editing your stories when you return. Suspect for the rest of the group it's the same. You just take care of yourself and your family. That's what is important and take your time with it.
It's okay Hoppy. Just take your time, and when you feel like it we'll all still be here!
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5622-get_well_soon.jpg
My grandfather had heart failure and I was there any time I wasn't in class or work. For those two months I think I slept maybe 80 hours if I had to guess. By the end of the second month my grandma got back from taking care of my great grandmother after they found out she had Alzheimer's up north so I was finally able to be me again. I quit my job and still failed a class. Luckily my coordinator bumped to a pass to keep me going through my next semester, I just had to redo a project.
Family is important, but you are too. We all have our responsibilities and vices. We all have needs and wants. We make sacrifices for those we love, but we have to know our limits. Unfortunately, most of us don't know our limits until we've gone passed them and dug a hole so deep we can't see the light.
Being in a very similar situation, I know exactly how you feel. Take your time, don't promise things that aren't vital and don't try and force yourself to do something that should be a way for you to recharge and not just another chore on a heap of chores you're already behind on. All the best to you.
Lost interest? Pff, that's what the track story and follow author buttons are for. We'll see a new chapter pop up when it does.
In the mean time, I'll just go reread Project Sunflower for the fourth time.
Life Happens.
We love you, Hit me up on skype if you wanna chat. <3
It's good to hear from you again.
You are probably one of the best fanfiction authors I've ever met, and no one is going to take that away.
It doesn't matter how long it takes, specially if it is to take care of a beloved someone. After all, life is probably the most important story you're ever gonna write. I'll borrow a sentence from a fic... 'Keep fighting the good fight.'
As long as you have ideas to write, I will wait for them, even if it takes a few years, so no pressure at all. I'm happy to hear that you are still interested in the fandom.
Take it easy bud and do what's best for yourself. If your family needs you go take care of them. Don't worry too much about us.
I am a patient lizardman, Hoopy. Take as long as you need to get back into the swing of things.
Wait, a year? Well, I'll just keep waiting. May you get better.
Thoughts and prayers are with you. Get well soon.
Completely ignoring the old messages doesn't seem like a good idea. I can't believe that it's impossible for you to, at some point, go back and read all of them and respond to even the old ones that are asking for a response.
Other than that, rest up and don't worry about writing more chapters until you're ready.
We're all pulling for you!! < (Please help me decriminalize double exclamation marks.)
I completely understand. I was in a similar situation last year (but that's not why I haven't updated my own story in four years). I'm glad that you're showing signs of life and that you still have interest in your story (the one that made me like stories featuring ponies and humans interacting and having a culture clash).
I'm definitely buying your book. And I'll have an excuse to read your story another time.
Take care of yourself, Hoopy. We'll be here.
You've brought a lot of joy into our lives through your creativity and donation of time. Your biggest responsibility is hardly to us -- it's to making sure that joy and energy rebuilds in you. We are lucky to have been gifted with your writing thus far, and while I'm super happy you want to continue eventually, that's a privilege for which we can simply be eternally patient.
Please take all the time you need to heal and cope. We'll be around.
Well, the way I see it, you can't provide awesome work if you haven't taken care of yourself and those you care about. So take your time, and I will patiently wait for Project Sunflower: Harmony. And I'm sure I'm not the only one, if the other comments are anything to go by.
Opened the reserve list sign up for a copy of the book. If you missed the sign up, this is your second chance to get a copy.
Reserve List Sign Up
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Already signed up and payed it. But I appreciate it.
Don't forget to claim your free copy of the book, Hoopy.
I'm reading Project Sunflower again to my kids. Wife made me check Harmony to see if there's an update yet. I'm glad to see you're still interested in finishing it. I hope your situation improves. Thanks for what you've already given us. Cheers.
Oh hey, I'm a little late but it's good to hear you're alive and, if not well, then at least still kicking! I know what you mean about letting your own projects fall by the wayside in favor of helping others, and I hope you're able to work out a better life balance soon, for your own sake.
All books have been printed! Shipping soon!
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/336585065704456193/388341953546158111/DSC_0732.jpg
Good thing I checked in when I did. I'll put away the Poking Stick now.
No pressure.
Come back when you're ready.
My Co-Fans and I are all pulling for you.
JSL
I just read Project Sunflower this past week and it was awesome i was left wanting more when it was over.
i will read the other two later one ^^
I so understand when you need to help family or one of your friends it happen to me a few years ago i was asked for help and in the time it seemed like i missed so much other stuff i am used to doing. It took time for me to get back to doing some of the stuff i am used to doing.
I know we never met or talked. but i hope you are feeling better soon.
I am never good at this kind of things.
Hoi, are you still there? I miss you and your stories...
We love your stories, Hoopy, but keep yourself well.
I was so very very lucky to get a hardcopy of Project Sunflower, despite not being on the original list. I was on the backup list.
I regret nothing. :D
I do not generally like Human In Equestria stories. They are almost constantly author-self-insertion fictions, and eyerolling to boot.
So please take it as the best commendation I have when I say this ranks amongst my favourite stories.
Whether this inspires you to do more Project Sunflower, or something else, you need to know both that your writing is wonderful, and that I will simply wait as long as it takes for you to find your muse in good conscience and health.
Your fans, and all of the ponies, wish you well. :)
Take your time. I hope everything turnes out fine with your life.
Hey, how have things been for you? Have things gotten better?
The inevitable "March of life" continues, and we are all dragged along with it. Some more so than others but nonetheless all experience struggles.
I am terribly sorry that you an yours have had it so rough. Illnesses, stress and general unrest do not a happy person make.
My best tidings go out to you. I hope the times have been, at the very least, easier this past year.
I will be looking into the hard book cover copy, though I expect the opportunity has quite thoroughly passed me, as per the norm with these types of things.
Bah! Enough of my gripes.
Take care of yourself, no-one will ever put you before you if you know what I mean.