Twilight wonders why she has not seen Fluttershy in a while she soon finds out why
cover art by Magic-Suzanna
http://magic-suzanna.deviantart.com/
by the way please before you downvote this read the whole story or at least tell me why you downvoted it
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First off, you need to edit this.
Second, this is far too rushed. Slow down.
You have a good idea but just edit it.
Ditto with alicorn... Sorry
2446805
trust me it gets better
2446850 I bet. I'm just saying you need to edit this, that's all.
2446827
oh its ok
I feel like this could use some editing. I'm willing to help, if you'd like. Message me if you want to take me up on that.
2448515
what exactly whould need editing?
2446863
what needs editing?
2450482 There's a lot of closely repeated words, and the story goes by fast, so it seems a little rushed. As well, there's some spelling errors.
2452177
examples?
why do you guys hate this?
its probly people that hate to have fluttershy cry
weird people on da liked it
and that was before I proffread it
2661379
well what did you think?
This story is great but you need to describe the setting a little bit, slow down, and give the characters a little personality. There are gramatical errors but I like it. I'm one of the few people that can see potential in stories no matter how it is written. I'll give you a like, you need/deserve it!
2455663
Edit, ponies, EDIT! There are still errors! But whatever. Why dont you check out both of my stories?