• Published 15th Apr 2013
  • 924 Views, 23 Comments

Slayers F - Fizzy Orange

Lina Inverse and Naga accidently end up in Princess Luna's Equestria. Explosions and hilarity ensue. Originally part of the Lunaverse April 2013 crossover writing event.

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HONESTY: Always the BEST policy, except when it's not

“Now wait just a minute here!” said Lina Inverse, her voice rumbling with anger, “no one is turning me into a pony you hear, you crazy pastel critters!”

“Oh I’m terribly sorry, I really shouldn’t have assumed,” said the cream colored pony.

“You think?” sarcastically replied Lina.

“Now that I think about it,” began the pony, putting a hoof to her chin, “I bet your friend is a bovine of some type and you’re a dragon!” she said with a smile.

Both Lina and Naga fell down on their back at the same time.

“Why does everyone keep calling me a cow?!” asked Naga, getting back up in a flash.

“We’re not anything else! We’re humans! Plain old humans!” shouted Lina.

“Bon Bon, what is this all about?” asked the pegasus, massaging her head with a hoof.

“Didn’t we tell you about the time Trixie turned Lyra into that naked bear thing, Raindrops? That’s what she looked like… sorta,” explained Bon Bon, pointing a hoof at the pair.

Raindrops blinked. “So you just thought someone else got transformed by zebra magic?”

“Did you just say ‘Zebra Magic’?” asked a confused Naga, “Lina did she just say ‘Zebra Magic’?”

Lina nodded. “Sounds like that’s what she said…now why don’t you two…ladies I guess… tell us where is the nearest town is and we’ll be on our way.”

“Well it’s Ponyville, down that way,” explained Bon Bon, pointing a hoof down the road past the smoking crater Lina had created, “but no one’s ever seen anything like you around here, they’ll panic if they see you coming.”

“Ponyville? The town’s name is Ponyville?” asked Lina, sighing when she got a nod from both ponies in response, “Where the heck did we end up?”

“You’re near the town of Ponyville, in the North-Everfree province,” answered Raindrops.

“And where is that province?”

“In Equestria.”

“Never heard of it,” said Naga, while Lina just placed a hand over her face in exasperation. “we must be very far from where we started.”

Lina figuratively, and literally exploded. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT NAGA!” She shouted, her body surrounded by flames.

“Lina calm down! You’re scaring the little horseys!” said the black haired sorceress, quickly backing away from her angry rival.

Lina just stomped toward Naga, still engulfed in flames, “YOU SENT US OFF TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WITH NO WAY TO GO BACK HOME AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?!”

Lina was suddenly drenched in water, as a burst of rain fell on top of her. This unexpected shower managed to extinguish her flames and cool her down all at once. She looked up in surprise, as the rest of the sky was still clear blue, and she found Raindrops, apparently sitting on a cloud, frowing at her.

The little pegasus flew down in front of Lina, standing on the ground with front hooves spread wide and wings splayed open. “That’s enough out of you, anymore and you could start a forest fire! I’m not sure what you are but you’re not torching anything down on my watch you hear?” she said, glaring at the redhead, “You two obviously need help, in more way than one, so we’ll bring you to our friends and maybewe can help you find out how far you are and maybe, just maybe, even help you get back there faster.”

Lina regarded the tiny yellow pegasus and considered her options. Most of them involved going on a very boring long trip with no one but Naga to talk to, so she decided she would at least get some company out of the deal. Maybe she could get something to eat too.

“But Raindrops, how will we get them into town without everyone panicking?” asked Bon Bon.

Raindrops regarded the two with a pensive look on her face. “I might have an idea...”

“I look ridiculous,” bemoaned Lina.

“We BOTH look ridiculous, but you more than me” added Naga.

“Naga, you always look ridiculous, this is just a different kind of ridiculous for you,” replied Lina.

Naga let loose her annoying laugh,“You say that but I know you’re just jealous, Lina!”

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous?”

“Because mines are bigger,” said Naga with a smile.

“Bigger isn’t always better! Besides, they look fake!” replied the redhead, obviously irritated.

“Will you two shut up! Don’t attract attention!” complained Raindrops.

Lina pointed to the pair of fake horns on her head, “You strapped branches on our heads and you want us to be inconspicuous?!”

The four of them were on the edge of Ponyville proper, on the road leading to the cluster of buildings some would identify as a town. Lina and Naga had been equipped with makeshift costumes put together from moss, branches, tree bark, string (from candy collars) and some bubblegum Bon Bon was carrying around in her saddlebags. They both wore a wig of dark moss from which the branches came out like a pair horns, and some passable hooves had been fashioned out of thick pieces of bark over the humans’ feet.

“Everypony’s seen a minotaur before, if you act the part no one will notice you aren’t,” explained the candy mare.

“How exactly are we supposed to act the part? We’ve never met minotaurs,” asked Naga.

The two ponies stopped in there tracks and looked at each other.

“I’ve only met Iron Will,” said Raindrops.

“Same here, and I mostly just saw him at the market picking up groceries,” added Bon Bon, “I’m not sure how much like the rest of his race he is.”

“Me neither,” admitted the pegasus, “maybe Cheerilee could help?”

Lina sighed and massaged her head a little. The motion displaced her wig and horns so she pushed them back into place. She really hoped the bubblegum hadn’t gone into her hair, as it would be a pain to wash out. These talking ponies were trying to help but they weren’t all that useful.

“Then there’s a good chance he’s the only minotaur anybody else saw, so why don’t you just tell us what he’s like and we’ll go from there?”

The two ponies looked at each other before they shrugged.

Rarity was admiring the new collection of glassware in the window of Pots and Pan’s Platters when she saw the fleeting form of Daisy pass her by. A member of the infamous Flower Trio, Daisy was always prone to fits of panic, so to see her run away scared was not unusual (at least she wasn’t fainting this time around), but it still made one curious as to what scared her, this time.

“…And that’s why I had to walk to back from Hoofington instead of taking the train,” said the voice of Bon Bon.

“I had no idea candy making competition could get so exciting. Though they really let it get out of hoof if the train station got blown up,” replied Raindrops.

Rarity turned in time to see Bon Bon nod in approval. “Yeah, that usually doesn’t happen until the final round.”

Rarity didn’t hear the rest of Bon Bon and Raindrops’ conversation, because she was transfixed by the sight of the two creatures following them. Quite simply she had never seen anything like them before. Bipedal, lanky, mostly hairless, one tall the other short, and wearing bizarre clothing, or at least one of them was wearing clothing the other was wearing mostly string and a cape. They looked a lot like minotaurs but with more pleasing proportions. They were clearly not minotaurs but for some reason wore obviously fake horns and hooves made of pieces of tree to, at least she guest, pass for such. The wigs weren’t particularly convincing either considering that you could see long hair flowing from underneath.

The pair of them were taking confident steps down the street, holding their arms up to their side as if they had giant biceps like some minotaurs had. The short red headed one look mighty uncomfortable and her hairless face was flushed with embarrassment. The other one though seemed to enjoy herself, pausing every few steps to flex her muscles in an overdramatic way. Her athletic build didn’t really have much in term of mass so it was a bit ridiculous compared to the actual minotaur bodybuilders Rarity had once seen in Manehattan. The two quivering lumps on her chest were the only sort of mass that creature had. Rarity had no idea what they were but for some unexplainable reason she felt instinctively threatened by them, as if her beauty and appeal was somehow challenged.

The tall creature spotted her staring as they walked by and stopped. She smiled at Rarity and thrusted her fist forward, one thumb pointing up. The unicorn was rather perplexed at this gesture and could only stare in confusion. After a few second the creature shrugged and kept walking.

This strange encounter ended as quickly as it had started, leaving behind nothing but confusion and possibly some new design ideas.

“Maybe I could create some new types of pockets to keep fruits, like grapefruit or melons, at chest level…” mused Rarity.

Trixie Lulamoon, personal student to Princess Luna, Representative of the Night Court to Ponyville and Element of Magic was facing one of the most difficult decisions she had ever faced! Sweat was beading on her forehead as she concentrated on the task at hand. Finally she had her answer and could make her move.

“B6,” she intoned.

“Missed!” replied Cheerilee with a chuckle.

“BLAST IT! Foiled again!” she shouted, shaking a hoof toward the sky.

Trixie was enjoying some time at her residency with her friend Cheerilee, Element of Laughter and teacher at the local elementary school. The earth pony mare had already won the last four games they had played and Trixie was really hoping she could at least win one before the end of the afternoon.

“I really need to figure out how you can keep winning like this!” complained Trixie.

“It’s easy, you just need to always think at least three steps in advance,” answered Cheerilee.

“We’re playing Battleship,” flatly replied Trixie.

Cheerilee’s response was cut short by some knocking at Trixie’s door. The blue unicorn really considered not answering. This was a day off and her work schedule was clearly displayed near the door, but then she realized that whoever was knocking was probably one of her friend. Ponies who wanted to bother her with official business outside of actual business hours tended to just barge in. Or at least try to do so. Trixie got up and Cheerilee did the same before the two headed out to the front door.

The unicorn opened the door to find Bon Bon, smiling, Raindrops, stoic as always, and two strangely familiar looking creatures, albeit with a few added parts and some strange pieces of clothing. After the second it took her brain to register what she was staring at she gasped and recoiled backward.

“NOT MY FAULT!” She shouted reflexively.

Author's Note:


I've recently decided to try and keep a 1000 word a day regime to see if I can finish one of my other project, Secret of Andalantis. I've hit a writing block on that front and decided to get some other work instead...so here you go! A new chapter! Imagine that! Hope you guys had a good laugh or two at it.

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Comments ( 10 )

Awesome!! Keep it up.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache: But why wouldn't Rarity recognize breasts on a biped? Surely she's seen at least pictures of female minotaurs before. Unless your minotaur females have an actual udder on their guts(which I object to).

4436244 Well at least Rarity doesn't seem to be planning to magic herself up some giant fake crotchboobs. You can take solace in that while you're busy trying to bleach out the image I just put in your head.

4436244 mostly for the joke really :p

So when does the town get blown up?

Kinda hoping to see a bit more for this story to come out. Especially since there is a little tidbit at the end of Slayers Try where we learn Lina's sister's name which is Luna. :pinkiegasp:

5036727 Sssh...you'll ruin a later joke! :raritywink:

You have failed sir. Everyone knows that the first episode of every slayer has Lina casting the Dragon Slave spell. lol

is this dead ?

7852034 I would rather it not be dead, but I admit I'm not quite sure how far I should take this story. I should really put the 'hiatus' status on this though...

Take it as far as you want . But i have to say itsbreally difficult to see a slayers crossover around here...

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