On A Rail
“What hit me?” Those were the first words to come out of Princess Luna’s mouth after waking from her apparent coma due to falling from a great height. In Luna’s mind, she must have been rather startled, as there were several Ponies staring at her from a close proximity. Granted these were all people who were concerned about her, but still, quite odd.
“Oh Lulu, thank goodness your awake.” Celestia said as she leaned in and nuzzled her sister. Several of the other ponies aww’ed at this show of affection, I would have too but, I cannot speak, remember. While it is a nice little show of affection, I would like to know what caused her to fall.
“Luna, whatever happened to you?” Celestia, asked holding her sisters cheeks in her hooves, causing a blush to emanate from the darker princess. I could understand her sorrow, as back when I was young my mother would often do the same thing if I got hurt.
“I just remember a bright blue light, and someone yelling ‘Allons-y’.” I could hear a nurse whispering behind me to the doctor, asking if that’s part of the concussion.
“Well, I’m just glad you’re ok now.” Celestia said, nuzzling her sister once more, “and I believe we have someone to thank for that.” She said, nodding her head in my direction.
“You mean to say he saved me?” Luna said with disbelief, which I was slightly offended by. “How? He possesses no magic.” Luna asked, obviously forgetting my teleporting abilities.
I mentally chuckled and teleported to the other side of the room, where there was a small white flower in a pot, and plucked, teleporting back over to Luna to give her said flower. She looked startled, then gently took the flower out of my hand using her magic.
She gave the flower a sniff and bit down on it, which took me by surprise, then I recalled that they are herbivores, so it probably wasn’t that strange. She swallowed and then chuckled at the apparent taste.
“Gladiolus, very rare, and very tasty.” Luna let out a small smile at this remark. Seeing that she was feeling better, the doctors and nurses let out a sigh of relief, and went back to other patients in the room. Soon it was just our group in the caves and Octavia. “We thank you for coming, but we are feeling much better now, thank you all.” The group seemed downtrodden, or trotten, still haven’t decided, at the idea of leaving.
“Well, I suppose we had best leave you to rest,” Celestia began, obviously a tad upset that she wouldn’t be able to stay by her sisters side, “But allow me to introduce you to a rather wonderful cello player, that will hopefully aid in your recovery.” She gestured a hoof over to Octavia, who looked like she gazed into the eyes of one of my more, violent, brethren.
“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind playing for you, would she?” Celestia gazed at Octavia, who shook back to reality and nodded, preparing her stick with the string on it. I wonder what it’s called. She pondered for a moment, obviously trying to think of what song to play. She let out a smile, obviously reaching a conclusion, and began to play.
“Well, now that she is occupied, let us leave her.” Celestia whispered, and quietly left Luna to her music. The others trotted out quietly, but I stayed behind momentarily to wave a hand in goodbye to Octavia.
“I am very glad she’s ok.” Celestia said, sighing in relief once we were out of the room. I can sympathise with her. If I had found out something similar happened to Bronagh I would have stayed by her side until she was better. Of course, being a Princess of this land meant she had duties to attend to. It is a good thing her medical staff are so well trained, that she has such faith in them.
“Umm, Princess?” I heard Sweetie begin, it felt odd not having her on my shoulder if I’m honest, it was a nice source of warmth and fluffiness. “When will K have to go to Appleloosa to build houses?”
Celestia pondered for a minute. “Well, as much as I would like to say right away, I’m afraid that can’t be the case, as you must all be very tired from your adventure in the caves.” As if on cue, each of the ponies yawned. I probably would have too, but my mouth was sort of closed at the moment.
“So we should probably leave tomorrow morning.” Celestia said. I then recalled the feast that Midnight Clover had invited me to. I tapped Celestia on the back of her neck, getting her attention. I had no idea how to tell her I had a feast planned, so I pointed at Dash then put two pointed fingers down from my mouth.
“Bat pony?” She asked, I nodded, and then mimicked the action of opening a scroll, similar to the one that she did. “A scroll?” I nodded once more and then proceeded to send my hands near my face, trying to show myself stuffing it. “Um, food?” I nodded once more, and waited for her to put the pieces together.
“Oh I get it.” I heard a voice from behind me and turned to see Pinkie Pie snorting. “He’s saying that because he saved Luna from imminent death he has been invited to a feast of his honour by the Bat Ponies that serve under her.” Pinkie Pie smiled widely, and I just sort of, pointed at her.
“You are insanely good at charades you know that.” Rainbow Dash told Pinkie, which just made her smile even more. “When is this feast?” Dash asked, licking her lips slightly. I angrily pointed a finger at her. “You’re not invited.” Pinkie Pie said, joining my stance and pointing a hoof at her. “And the feast is tomorrow night.” I slapped my hand against my face. However, Pinkie did the same, and ended up leaving a bright red mark on her face.
I would have laughed were it not for the fact my mouth was closed. “Oh dear, Pinkie Pie, are you ok?” The soft voice of Fluttershy wafted through the air as she came closer to her and inspected the red mark. After looking it over a bit she felt that it was fine, and that the bruise would go away soon. Before leaving her to her own healing abilities she gave where the bruise was a little kiss, making it seem as though it would heal faster.
“Aww Fluttershy, you didn’t have to do that.” Pinkie Pie said, hiding her blush in her tail. I chuckled at Pinkie’s embarrassment. Before hearing a sound that sent shivers through my spine. “You’re hurt too mister.” I froze and turned to my left, where Fluttershy was hovering gently with her wings. She gave me a small peck on my forehead, and caused my black skin to go red. For whatever reason, I fell down, stiff and straight as a fence post.
“Uh, I think you broke him.” I heard the drawl of Applejack say. I also heard an “oh, my” that I can easily assume to belong to Fluttershy. I heard Pinkie Pie and Twilight chuckling, whereas Rainbow Dash had erupted into full blown laughter.“Hmm, you’d think he’d be a little bit more comfortable with female contact.” I reached up and grabbed her muzzle, stopping her from laughing and mocking me. I glared at her and she shuddered, gulping down any further sly comments.
I got to my feet and walked out of the room, shortly followed by Celestia and Sweetie Belle. I found myself back in the hall in which we had our little feast. I pulled up a chair and sat down. I held my head in my hands and tried to calm down. I felt a small nuzzle on my leg, and saw Sweetie Belle holding her hoof against it. I smiled and picked her up, holding her against my shoulder. “May I ask what is the matter K?” I made a few gestures than pointed to my throat.
“You cannot explain it properly without talking?” I nodded; glad that she could finally catch on to my actions. “Well, what if I sped up the healing process?” I raised an eyebrow at her, curious as to what she meant.
Suddenly, her horn glowed a bright gold, as did my throat. My throat felt as though I had just swallowed a potion of healing. I coughed a few times and felt my mouth open. I could finally speak again, but, did I really want the first words out of my mouth to be something so upsetting.
“Firstly, thank you for that.” I said, rubbing my throat. Celestia nodded in appreciation. “Secondly, my full name, is Korkora.” Huh, been a while since I had to say that. “It means purple in my language.” Celestia and Sweetie Belle nodded in understanding.
“As for why I grabbed Rainbow,” I began, I didn’t really want to say this but, I figured its best I do so now. “Because I myself have a Princess I care about.” I sniffled a bit at this, and chuckled at Celestia’s reaction. “Oh don’t flatter yourself.” I joked, “she’s not from this world.” Celestia looked relieved at this. “Celestia, I’m sure you have had relationships during your life at some point.” Celestia gulped slightly and nodded.
“I understand it may be an uncomfortable question, seeing as you are immortal, as you have said before.” I figured I had best get it over with. “Do you miss any of them?”
Celestia nodded, replying with “Yes, everyone whom I have ever had a relationship with had been an immediate source of comfort in difficult times, and I wish I could have them all back, especially Starswirl.” While I do not know who that is, I can sympathise. I placed a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eye. “Then you understand why I got angry, when my princess could be in danger for all I know, and here I am, in another world.” I could feel my voice start to waver as I told her this, and I felt Sweetie Belle tighten her hooves around me.
“But, I have already made a promise to you.” I said standing up and wiping my eyes. “And I know that my princess can handle herself.” Celestia stood to her full height and nodded. I felt that I needed some time alone for a bit, but of course I couldn’t get that here. “About Appleloosa…”
“Of course.” Celestia said, using magic to wipe away and trace of a tear, “When would you like to leave?”
“Now.”
A long shrill noise sounded from somewhere. “Ah, it would appear the train is coming.” Celestia had been kind enough to accompany me through the city to the, train station. I had no idea what a train was, but it was more than likely similar to a mine cart if the tracks proved anything.
“I am sorry no one else could come, but, I believe you should be fine.” Celestia told me, with a hint of worry in her voice. “I had to practically force Twilight into that carriage.” She chuckled, giving me a good one too. “In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if she teleports here at the last sec-” Before Celestia could finish her sentence a bright light emanated from right in front of her.
“Twilight.” Celestia said, slightly annoyed, “I told you, you have to look after the Castle.” Twilight smiled sheepishly and then gave her reason for being here. “I know you said I have to take care of , and that I can’t come along with K.” “Korkora.” I interrupted. “But you didn’t say anything about Spike not coming.” My mind flashed back to the night I first ran into these Ponies, and ended up being set on fire by that damned dog.
“You keep that fire breathing dog away from me.” I cried, hiding behind Celestia. I heard an indignant huff, and someone began talking from behind Twilight. “I’m not a dog dude.” I peeked round Celestia to find the source of the voice. Well I tried to, but I couldn’t see it. “Down here.” I looked down to see a, a, I have no idea what it was. “I’m not a dog, I’m a dragon.”
“Ok hold up just a minute here.” I stepped out from behind Celestia to confront ‘Spike’. “I have never, ever, seen a dragon as small as you before.” This dragon barely reached where Twilights leg met her body. “Well duh, I’m a baby dragon.” Spike replied. I held up a finger to rebuttle, but stopped.
“Ok, fair enough that makes sense.” I said, bringing my hand to my chin in thought. Spike nodded appreciatively. Twilight nudged him and gave him a small frown. Spiked sighed and cleared his throat. “Also I’m sorry for accidentally setting you on fire.” I chuckled a bit at this. “It’s ok man, if someone randomly teleported in front of me in the dark I’d probably hit them or something.” I smiled down at Spike, who showed a mouth full of sharp teeth in return.
“So you’re going to be accompanying me then?” I asked him. “Well yeah, Twilight says she doesn’t want to miss a single thing, but seeing as she has to she’s sending me.” Spike smiled smugly, showing his pride in the fact Twilight trusts him. “Yeah, Spike will be taking note of everything and sending it back to me while I mind the castle.” Twilight said, with a slight hint of sarcasm, to help remind Spike what he was actually going with me for. Then I was confused for a moment. “Why don’t you come and he stay behind and watch your castle?” Twilight sighed as she began to explain.
“Well, that was the plan, but last time that happened Spike almost ate half the castle.” My eyes went wide and I stared down at Spike. “Hey it looked really tasty.” I then stared at Twilight and asked “What the Nether is your castle made out of, meat!?” Twilight looked horrified at the very idea of meat. “Sweet Celestia no!” I heard a small chuckle from aforementioned goddess. “My castle is made out of crystals.” It was my turn to look horrified. “You mean you built an entire castle out of diamonds!” I practically shouted at her.
Her face went stark white. “W-well, not exactly.” I slapped my face with my hand and sighed. “I suppose it’s something more common in this world like Ruby’s or Sapphires or something.” She said no once more. “Then what?” How many more gems are there. “Well, it, sort of, grew out of the ground.” My face went blank. I started making very strange gestures with my hand to make up for my inability to speak. “Oh dear,” I heard the motherly voice of Celestia appear. “Have you lost your voice again?” I shook my head at her and said “Nope, just can’t think of something to say without being insulting.”
Twilight looked rather offended whereas Spike let out a small chuckle. Twilight was about to retort but a shrill whistle cut her off. I was very confused to what that meant, but after a rather slender looking brown Pony in a blue uniform and hat. He was looking around for passengers, and once his eyes laid on me he froze.
He swiftly turned around, and walked straight into a pillar. Our small group flinched at the pain he must be in. I was tempted to walk over and help him up, but Celestia stopped me. “I think it’d be best for you to get on your train.” A small piece of paper with writing on it floated over to me, covered in a golden glow. I took it and examined it. It was in writing that I couldn’t understand, all the symbols were very different to what I was used to.
“Thank you, but what is it for?” I asked. Celestia blinked. “Well, it’s to show you have permission to use the train.” It was my turn to blink. “You mean that you need permission for this?” I said pointing to the large train behind me. Celestia nodded and began to explain, but was cut off by the Pony in the uniform yelling “ALL ABOARD!”
I shook my hands and said “You know what, he can explain it to me.” I said, pointing down at Spike. Spike wasn’t able for a rebuttal as I picked him and stepped on the train. “Wait don’t you need one?” I said as I set him down. “Nah, Twilight got me one already.” He pulled another ticket from out of nowhere, and I nodded. I waved to Twilight and Celestia, who were standing away from the train, and began waving back as soon after I did.
A sudden jolt shook the train and I almost fell out of it. Spike grabbed onto my leg and pulled me back into the train. “What in the Nether was that?” Spike chuckled a small bit and said “The train dude.” When I looked up I could no longer see Twilight or Celestia, but instead saw the landscape slowly going by.
“Huh, we’re moving.” I looked outside the train and down and saw ground going by slowly. Spike chuckled and said “Well come on, let’s get inside the actual train.” I looked down at him. “You mean this isn’t the actual train?” He laughed and said “No dude it’s in here.” He pushed open a door and went into a small room.
I instantly bumped my head once I got inside, which caused all other occupants to turn around at the noise. The majority of them screamed. Whereas others simply stared in silence. I sighed and said “What, never seen an Enderman before, racist.” With that I sat down on what I assumed to be a seat.
Spike fell over laughing at me for whatever reason. “W-what?” I stuttered, “What did I do wrong?” Spike managed to breathe and say “That’s a luggage rack dude.” He then continued laughing, and much to my surprise, I heard other occupants of the train laughing. I joined in and said “See, once you realise how stupid I am I don’t seem that scary.” This made almost everyone in the room laugh. Once it died down I asked Spike where the actual seats were. “They’re these things dude.” He pointed to something that looked like a set of stairs back in Craftia. To be fair, several people in Craftia used stairs as pseudo seats or chairs. I sat down on the seat, and found it to be very uncomfortable, due to my height.
“Well this doesn’t look ridiculous at all.” I said aloud. I looked to the seat opposite from me and saw that no one was sitting there. “One minute.” I got up and sat near the window on the other side. I put my legs up slightly so my feet ended up between the two sets of seats. “This isn’t considered rude is it?” I asked to Spike. “No.” He said after some hesitation. “I mean, if every other seat becomes full, and you’re still like that, it’d be rude.” “Because someone else wouldn’t be able to sit here right?” He nodded in response. “Oh yeah then, that’s just basic manners isn’t it.” I said with a smirk. Spike smirked back and said “Yeah, Twilight basically had to drill manners into me.”
I chuckled and then asked “So, is she like your mother, or what?” Spike shook his head and said “No way man, she’s sort of like a big sister to me, well, technically she did hatch my egg.” I nodded in response. “But, I’d consider her mother to be mine, seeing as she looked after the both of us.” I laughed a little at the idea of a Pony taking care of a dragon.
“You know, you’re really different to the dragons where I come from.” I said non-chalantly looking at Spike. Spike was rather small, he probably came up to just beneath my knee. He looked about the same height as Sweetie Belle. He was green and purple, a rather odd colour combination, but he pulled it off well.
“Whoa, you have dragons where you come from?” I looked at him with a small smile. “Oh yeah, totally.” I chuckled thinking of the dragon that guarded my ‘home’ home world. “Where I’m from, we have a giant dragon we call, ‘The Ender Dragon’.” I gave the name a slightly creepy sound effect, which gave Spike a definite interest in it. “Where does it live?” He asked immediately. I chuckled at his eagerness at learning. “It lives on a floating platform in the middle of an abyss, known as, ‘The End’.” Spikes eyes went wide, then snapped back to normal for a moment. “Wait, are you from the End?” He asked. The question caught me off guard. “Um, sort of, how’d you guess that?” Spike smiled and said “Cause I’m the greatest detective ever.”
I laughed at him, and he gave his real answer. “Well, you said you were an ‘Ender’ man so I figured you may come from the same place as the ‘Ender’ dragon.” I nodded, scratching my chin. “You’re pretty spot on there.” Spike smiled, showing his sharp teeth. “Well, the Ender Dragon is sort of our protector.’ I began, remembering when I first saw the Ender Dragon.
“You see, when we are born, we are very weak, and nearly blind, so it is very dangerous for us to go nearly anywhere. The Ender Dragon, along with our parents helps protect us and keep us safe until we are able to look after ourselves.” Spike looked confused for a moment. “You mean your parents can’t look after you?” I laughed a bit and told him “No it’s not that. Parents are completely capable of looking after their children, but they have to go out and forage for food and stuff.”
Spike nodded taking this in. “And the reason why it’s hard to look after us, is because my species is granted the ability to teleport at a very young age, which, if you can imagine a teleporting baby anything, it would be quite difficult to keep an eye on.” This made Spike chuckle a bit. “and we have a habit of teleporting off the island.”
Spike looked horrified at the idea of this. “So you mean you can fall into an abyss when you’re just a kid?” I nodded. “Yeah, I must have almost fell off a dozen times, but the Ender Dragon saved me each time.” Spike looked amazed. “How’d it know that you fell off?” He asked, now this was going to be hard to explain.
“Well, the Ender Dragon, is sort of connected, to both all Endermen and the Island of the End.” I remember the headache I got when this was being explained to me. “Um, it’s sort of hard to explain without a picture, do you have anything I could write on?” Spike looked on his person, but found nothing. I was about to say it’s alright, when I heard a voice from beside me say, “I’ve got some paper and ink.”
I looked to my right to find a green Pony with yellow hair looking at me. It was a Unicorn, and it was holding some paper and a strange bottle in its magic. “Oh, I’m sorry, was I being too loud?” The Pony smiled and said “Oh no not at all, it’s an amazing story really.” It sounded female. “Well thank you very much,” I stopped at much and raised my eyebrows to the Pony, hoping it would give her name.
“Oh, I’m Quick Quill, nice to meet you.” She stuck out a hoof and I grasped it with my hand. “Hello Quick Quill, I’m Korkora.” I smiled and held out my hand, allowing the ink and paper to fall into my hand. “Sorry I haven’t actually got a quill, I’m on my way to Appleloosa to get a rather special one.” I smiled and said, “Well then, I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
I looked down at the small bottle. “Um, how do I work this?” I said, putting one hand behind my head. “Oh, you uncork this,” I small pop, sounded, and there was a brown, thing, floating in front of me. “It stops the ink from coming out.” I nodded, deciding to call it a stopper, due to its function. “And then, you would put your quill in there.” I looked at the bottle, and place a finger in it.
It felt wet, and yet, my hand wasn’t burning, which confirmed it was ink. I took my finger out and placed it on the paper. I drew two lines, and then a curved one underneath. I looked at my smiley face and copied it. “Well it works.” I said grinning at Quick Quill. She laughed upon seeing the picture. “Ok, now to draw my home.” Spike decided to sit on the seat behind me, so that he could see better.
“I never said I was a good drawer.” I joked. This gave both Spike and Quick Quill a good chuckle. “Anyway, so, that’s the Ender Dragon,” I pointed to the crude but obvious drawing. “And these,” I pointed to the vertical columns, “Are the towers that hold the life force of the Ender Dragon.” My small audience eyes went wide.
“How does it hold its life force?” Quick Quill asked, which surprised me slightly. “Well,” I tried to recall how it was explained to me as a child. “it’s sort of like, once every hundred years or so, the dragon will cough up a sort of, priceless crystal, that’s the thing on top of the tower, that has healing properties.” It was something along those lines anyway, I knew there were certain circumstances behind it, but I couldn’t remember them at the time.
“The crystal is placed upon the towers by either the Ender Dragon himself or one of my brothers.” I remember seeing one of the great warriors of my tribe being selected to place the crystal. “It is a great burden surprisingly, as the crystal is very delicate, and can be easily destroyed if handled incorrectly.”
“Anyway,” I began, trying to get back on topic “because Endermen are all connected to the Ender Dragon, these crystals act as a sort of, sensor. For the Ender Dragon, it sends a pulse through the island, and it can sense all of the Endermen on the island.” Spike had a curious look in his eye.
“So, that means, if it can’t sense one of them,” He started “Then the Ender Dragon knows that they must have teleported off.” Quick Quill then piped up “But, how can it spot you so easily? Black on black in an abyss would be quite hard to see.” I nodded, taking her question in and trying to think of an answer.
“Well, that’s because it’s not black on black, when we are born, we are actually quite pale, almost ghostly even.” Quick Quills mouth made a small ‘o’ shape in realisation. “So, it’s quite easy for the Ender Dragon to spot Enderlings that have fallen off. Oh, that’s what young us are called by the way.” I joked a bit there.
“And what if you fall off how you are now?” She asked. I wasn’t sure actually. “Well, most matured Enderman have full control over their teleporting abilities, and wouldn’t accidentally teleport off.” I tried to think of what would happen if it did happen. “Hm, do you know how bats hunt?” I asked, trying to think of a common animal between our worlds. Quick Quill nodded. “With sound right?”
“Echolocation, I think.” Spike piped in, to which I commended him. “Well, it’s sort of like that, the Ender Dragon roars, and it’s like the crystals. It acts as a sort of sensor, and searches for the life force of the Enderman that fell off.” Yeah, that’s plausible, and true.
“That is so cool.” Spike said, and I think that Quick Quill nodded in agreement. “Um, does the Ender Dragon breathe fire or anything?” he asked. I tried to think. “Not that I know of, he wouldn’t really have a reason to, nothing dangerous has ever come to the End, or at least not while I was there.” “You mean you left?” Quick Quill jutted in. “Um, yeah, I went to a place called Craftia, and it is a much nicer and more beautiful place then the End, although more dangerous as well.” Quick Quill and Spike ‘ooo’d’ at the idea of danger. “How’s it more dangerous?” Spike asked, clearly eager to know about Craftia, with Quick Quill nodding rapidly after he asked the question.
“Well, in The End, it’s just us, just Endermen. But in Craftia, there are several more species of being that live there, like Creepers, Skeletons, Silverfish, Zombies-” “ZOMBIES!” I heard a voice shout. I looked down to see a small Pony looking up at me with eyes full of wonder. “Oh, sorry, didn’t realise we had an audience.” I joked. A slightly larger Pony walked up beside the first one and said “Sorry about my brother, he wanted to talk to ‘The really cool tall guy’. The brother put one hoof behind the other and said “You just look really cool.” I laughed and said “If you wanted to listen in on my story you only need ask.” The small Pony smiled and jumped up onto the seat behind me. “You can listen too if you want.” I nodded to the larger Pony. The Pony’s face broke into a grin as they joined their brother.
“I’m Short Cake, and this is Sugar Rush.” The older of the Ponies said. “Yeah, my sister really likes eating short cake.” Sugar Rush said jokingly “Shush Sugar.” His sister said, hitting his head gently. “Anyway Mister, can we hear more about the zombies.” Sugar Rush asked, looking up at me. “Oh sure, um, well I’m not sure if they’re the same as what you would call Zombies, we just call them it because that’s what they want to be called.”
“You can talk to them?” Short Cake asked amazingly. “Well, yeah, kind of. I mean, every second word is either ‘Graoh’ or ‘Brains’ but they kind sort of speak properly.” “Cool.” Sugar Rush said squeakily. “So if they’re not actually zombies, what are they?” Spike asked.
“Well, I’m not sure, they’re like us I guess, they just evolved to look like zombies, and act like them.” Sugar Rush gasped “Does that mean if you get bit you turn into one?” I laughed at this and said . “No no, they don’t have any interest in us.” “Because you have no brains?” Spike joked.
I made a playful glare at him and said “No, because we’re too tall. The zombies where I’m from would be about, if you stood on your back legs.” I pointed to Quick Quill. She got off her seat and stood up experimentally. “Yeah, they’d be around that height.” I heard everyone gulp. “But don’t worry, they probably won’t eat you.” A sigh of relief swept through the little group.
“Wait why not?” A confused Spike asked. “Well, don’t take this offensively, but they’d probably see you as animals.” The Ponies wore blank looks. “We are animals.” Quick Quill said. “Well, livestock then? Or, non-sentient animals?” Now the Ponies looked offended. “Why would they think we’re just animals?” “Well, because there’s none of your kind where I come from, and if you were to just appear out of nowhere one day, you’d look very much like the cows there, and would be treated as such.” The Ponies looked satisfied with my answer. “Ok, and what are the Skeletons?” Spike raised an eyebrow.
“Um, what you think probably.” I chuckled. “They’re skeletons that are held together and have come alive through some kind of magic.” The Ponies looked horrified. “You mean, there are things in your world that do necroman- necromanky.” Short Cake stuttered. “You mean necromancy?” Quick Quill asked. “Um, yeah that.” I was confused.
“What is necromancy?” I asked. Quick Quill cleared her throat. “Well, it’s using magic to bring a dead person back to life, but it’s very taboo, because you’d be bringing someone back from the dead, and when people die, they’re supposed to stay dead. I know that sounds kind of bad, but it’s sort of the natural law isn’t it?” I figured it’d be better not to tell her about the Craftians. “Yes I understand. But, no that’s not how these skeletons work. They’re actually zombies that have been burnt to death, and their skeletons rise up and continue doing what they were as zombies.”
“They go out looking for brains?” Sugar Rush asked. “Well no, you see, they get very angry when they, um, ‘die’, and so they want revenge on who killed them.” I put air quotes when I said ‘die’ because, I don’t know if it qualified as death. “You mean, they just go out and, hurt people, because they’re angry, they don’t even eat them?” Short Cake asked.
“Well no, they don’t have stomachs.” I said, slightly jokingly. “And yes, it’s because they’re angry. Let that be a small lesson to you ok?” I looked at the two young Ponies. “Never ever hurt someone, just because you’re angry, ok?” They both nodded in agreement with me. “Good.” I laughed, then ruffled their hair, causing them both to giggle. I heard a whistle up ahead and turned to see where it was coming from.
“Oh, that means we’re almost here.” Spike said. The two young Ponies looked at each other and nodded. “We need to go back to our parents.” Short Cake said, and got of her seat to walk down to the end of the room. “Thank you for the story Mister Korkorkorka.” Sugar Rush smiled, then followed his sister.
“It was very nice meeting you Korkora.” Quick Quill said, sticking out her hoof for me to shake it. “And you too, Quick Quill.” She smiled and said “Oh just call me Quill, everyone does.” I laughed and said “Well in that case nice meeting you, Quill.” She nodded and I released her hoof. “Oh, would you want this back?” I said, handing her the paper with my crude drawing on it.
She smiled and said “Why yes thank you, it’ll make a nice memory of our meeting.” She then gently placed it into her bag that she held at her side. She then headed up the room a little to stand near a door, that would presumably let her out of the train. “So Spike, you think you know enough about where I come from now?” Spike laughed and said “Yeah, I do, but I don’t think Twilight does.” He showed me several blank pieces of paper. I let out a low whistle. “She expects you to fill all of that?” Spike laughed and said “Yeah, and she’ll probably send more when I’m done.”
Spike hopped down off his seat and said “But, that’s enough of that, let’s go help out some Ponies.” Spike threw his fist in the air, and I joined in. “Alright, let’s see what this Appleloosa is all about.” With that, myself and Spike exited the train, and stepped into the town of Appleloosa.
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Erk, I think the grammar made me flinch. It's been so long since I read this.
Put a space, of this kind:
Whenever someone other than the previous speaker is talking. I helps readers tell who's talking, and unless they don't read much, if you don't do it they'll think that the second line in the paragraph is the same person who said the first.
Dude, you need to go to a new line when someone new is talking. As 5929568 says.
Example:
Instead of:
Write it like this:
5983553 As you can see from the beginning of the chapter, I had originally started off writing like that, I decided to use both within the same chapter to see which readers preferred more.
5984395
imo it makes it a lot harder to read. Makes me have to think more about who's talking, rather then what's being said.
Great story! Looking forward for more!
uh....is this story still in the making or.....is it gonna be cancelled?
Is this dead? Not that this wasn't already an undead abomination of grammer (No offense. Great story, terrible grammer), but its been a long while since it's been updated.......