Steve the miner has had enough of the world of minecraft. He has everything he wanted his life. Now he wants a new adventure. Somehow by accident,Steve has been teleported into a different universe with FREAKIN PONIES AND IS ONE HIMSELF. Steve wants to know who did this to him. Trapped in a weird universe, will Steve find a way to his home, get the person who did this to him, and look for a new adventure? Meanwhile how does the Mane 6 react to this crazy pony?
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I like the concept, but you really need an editor. Grammar needs work, especially regarding quotations and commas, but I'll let someone else detail that as I need to go to sleep. My biggest issue was all the horrible line breaks. I imagine you copy+pasted your story from a file or something because you have line breaks in the middle of sentences that make the whole paragraph into a jagged mess to the point it's almost unreadable. You need to go through your entire story and backspace each line's break so people can read it without their eyes bleeding.
edit: bah it fixes the thing in the comments I guess so I can't show what I mean
Also, the "Steve's POV:/End of Steve's POV" thing was really unnecessary. It broke any sense of immersion since we were already seeing from Steve's POV (it doesn't have to be first person to be his point of view), and to switch to something else, just the linebreaks and "Meanwhile..." will do nicely. :P
This is getting a thumbsdown from me until the technical parts are fixed at least.
Sweet pony mother of pony god.
Man... er, woman, whichever: I couldn't get past the first paragraph. I don't know if it's any good because there's so much... Look, I don't wanna be mean, I'm just going to be honest with you. This is gonna be painful and I'm sorry, but the way this is written, friend, I hope you don't have any papers to write for school or else you are deep in the trenches of trouble. Here:
Deciding a walk would help calm him down and find out what to do next, he ventured off into the wilderness.
Slowly walking around, he tried to find an adventure. "Nothing" he thought to himself. As he was coming back to his
house something or someone hit him in the head and knocked him out of consciousness. Snickering voices could be heard
as mysterious people take Steve somewhere.
First off, though it doesn't come through the same here, why on earth did you double space like this for every line? It really messes the formatting up. In the doc itself, lines kind of just stop half way so you get this:
house something or someone hit him in the head and knocked him out of consciousness. Snickering voices could
be heard
as mysterious people take Steve somewhere.
That's how it looks in the chapter. Friend, this looks like poetry by one of those weird modern hipster college poets who writes about their menstruation cycle and the moon and beautiful hobos on free park benches. What is going on here, with the random spacing and the line breaks? Beyond that, you also change tenses everywhere. You've got to give the reader something to chew on, as well, and there's nothing for me to hold on to in what I could stand to get through but thin narration that's rife with error and some short dialogue.
Okay. Pain is over now.
Friend, if you're still reading: Go forth and read books. Seriously. Study your own language a bit, and find writers who you respect and admire and study how they use language. Then... try again. Or don't. But there's nothing to lose in trying. Telling stories is a great thing. Just tell them effectively, or at least try to tell them coherently.
I'm loving this so far!
Seriosly finnally a GOOD minecraft crossover fic! //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png
Here is a short review for you!
First, be careful when you write: "This is my first story." While there are some who will take it easier on you for this... there are others who will want to rip it apart.
Second, fix those paragraphs. There were many of them which were cut in half. Did you write this story somewhere else and pasted it here? I don't know if this is a bug... or you tried to write some form of poetry. But it sure makes it hard to read.
The idea has promise... but you really need to fix those line breaking.
Keep safe and keep writing!
Please continue writing the story, I really like your concept. The other commenters above are correct, you probably want to fix your formatting before you release the story for general consumption.
1368456 FINALLY a good Minecraft fiction?
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/207/234/you-must-be-new-here-willy-wonka.jpg
Yes I freakin know I had bad grammar. IM going to fix it, if you guys are disliking this story because of grammar I understand.
I new to the whole story concept, and I will get a editor.
I had A huge migrane when I started this and didnt remember what I was doing. I'm very sorry.
1368456 If you like Minecraft related stories, have you taken a look at the stories in this group dedicated to Minecraft crossover, like Applejack plays Minecraft?
1371687 No problem, getting an editor is a very good idea. It would be better if you removed the double spacing 1368395 was talking about, too. And read some of the top rated stories here to get some more ideas on how to write a good story.
Yes the grammar and formatting is finally fixed!
Now listen here disliking people, are you trying to break mah spirit?
Yeah? Well guess what, WHO CARES?! I only do this for the people who see potential in me. Even the smallest of the bundle can grow real big with patience and ENCOURAGEMENT. 
Yeah I'm very young (11) trying to reach for the stars, without all the mean stuff.
Don't judge a book by its cover, read a little more and you might find out you like it a lot.
Haven't you felt sad that many people dislike your story, even when you tried your best?
I have a diamond sword, some friendly creatures, Herobrine, the Enderdragon, and Pinkie Pie.
Go away disliking people!
P.S :Don't worry a guardian watches me while I read.
POST THIS IF YOU EVER HAD WRITTEN A STORY WITH YOUR BEST SHOT AND MANY PEOPLE DISLIKED IT
Meh, seen better, but would like to see where this goes.
(You indent all paragraphs, not just ones with people talking.)
I was also rather plain in saying that I wished not to leave you with nothing but condemnation, friend.
Thanks LightSpeed! So thats why Rainbow Dash looked so weird to me.
Anyways grammar's fixed and now is the time to start studying on other even more awesome stories. This will help me a LOT and expand my vocabulary, and somehow write longer(maybe)
PS: Why you read story fast in six minutes flat?
WHO NEEDS PUNCTUATION CAUSE I GOT PIE?!
JK
Ah! This is much better now that I can actually read it without hurting my eyes. Good on you for taking the time to go back through it and fix those paragraph issues, it really makes a big difference! I'll give it another thorough read and see if I can change out that Thumbs Down afterward.
Also, if could be so bold, I'd recommend you read this fic for an example of an extremely well-done comedy. It's not a crossover, but it's almost like an episode of the show, and it's one of eight total stories that have ever made it to my Favorites list.
The writing style and characterization should at least give you some ideas on how to improve I think!
So much horrible!
1393531 Thank sooo much, I think.
make MORRRREEEEE
1405939 ok!
1401081 I know Sophia! Give me a break.
I want the story to be perfect with the best vocabulary and stuff. Maybe you just want to see you and your someone together...
oh come on dude im too excited my story will probably suck and BTW what do you want your pony name to be in my story ur part is almost on
LOOK UP 5 WIERDEST PLACES TO FIND HEROBINE ON YOUTUBE it halarious
BTW im classmates with The Crafterz and i know her next story!im so excited!!!!!!
GO THE CRAFTERZ!!!!
When is the next update?
I want more I want to know what happens next!
What if Alex and Ben show up?