• Member Since 28th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 10th, 2017

Venficus


T

If you found a lost, scared and confused young colt at the edge of the Everfree Forest, What would you do?
If his existance threatened that of all you treasured, what would you do?
If he was the bringer of future calamity, what would you do?
If you could use his knowledge to prevent said calmity, at the cost of your own future, and the happiness of your friends, what would you do?
If he offered knowledge of forbidden things, what would you do?
What would you do, Twilight Sparkle?

Warning: Will contain hints of Twidash.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 10 )
Comment posted by Venficus deleted Apr 9th, 2013

It's sad that people will downvote just because of a red.and black OC :twilightangry2::ajsleepy:

Thumbs up here however!

2404935
It is, yes, but I already know Nightfire's place, and trust me, he is NOT the hero of the story. He has his part to play, and that's more of the role of a unwitting victim. What's a story without plot twists, predictable or not? I like to keep the readers wondering what I'm going to pull out of my madness next....

Venficus

Though I'm pretty sure I can see where this is going, I do believe that this will make for an interesting read. However, I do have a few things to point out.

You should not switch character viewpoint in mid-scene. Doing so will always confuse the reader and make even the best written stories look sloppy. Here, you start out with Scootaloo as the persoective character, then switch to Rainbow Dash, then Nightfire. How ominous and forebodeing would it have been if you had used only facial expressions, dialogue and character thoughts to describe Nightfire's distress at the end there?

looks interesting, I'll keep an eye on this and see where it goes, also, yay for Twidash.

I'm thinking I'll keep an eye on this too.

Tolerate? TOLERATEā€½ YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'LL TOLERATE IT!
Anywhoo, I look forward to more, even if it is only hinted at. :twilightsmile:

:facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:
The amount of utter fail in this is beyond words. You had a good set up, you had potential for an interesting character, and you had an interesting inner demon fight with something other then the pony's own mind. And then you write this... I'm gonna be a bit blunt here, you should be ashamed of posting something like this. Ok, that may be a bit of an over statment, and possibly a little of the fact that I wanted to see this story continued, but whatever. If you post something like this, you should be proud of it, and if you are truly proud of it, then what other's think should not matter to you. You should be able to look at the dislikes and go "Wow, those people sure are stupid for not liking this" not "Wow, my story sucks, time to give it a half-ass ending and hide from the people who don't like it". In truth those people who dislike it have no effect on the actual story, because you still have likes, and you still have favourites, which means poeple will still read it. My first fic has 5 likes and two favourites, yet I kept writing it. Why? Because it was, at the time, a fic I was proud of. I wrote it for myself and for those two people who faved it. I understand what it's like writing when there's no fun in it, so I can understand you not wanting to write it, but for the love of Celestia don't do something like this! Put it on hiatus and come back later if you get any inspiration. Hell, putting it on cancelled would be better then what you did, because with Cancelled we could make our own ending's, but instead you give us this. You need to focus on the posotives, all the good reviews you got, like from me, or the faves, or the likes, not the dislikes/lack of explanation for them. This is largly biased on my personal belief as a writer that you should be proud of anything you post, and if you're not proud of it then you shouldn't post it, but there are some non-biased valid points in here, and I'm pretty sure Im not the only one with this veiw point, anyway.

Now then, rant over. TL;DR: This was a bad desicion, you should have at least took a break and come back after a while. STOP FOCUSING ON THE DISLIKES!

I hope to see you continue this some day, until then.

TWIDASH ALWAYS! TWIDASH FOREVER!
-Kodeake

It took me a while, but I finally got around to reading this, and I must say, I'm glad you kept going. I honesty have no idea what the hell is going on or what's going to happen, and that's not something that happens to me often, and I like when it does. As long as you can pull it all together and explain it in a way that makes sense, that is. Looking forward to more as always.

I love it! Please continue! :pinkiehappy:

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