Reflections

The Hundred Vote Club14 stories ·17 members

Reflections

Equestria has always been watched over by a benevolent ruler. But what happens when she's not who she seems to be?

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Comments ( 9 )

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Writer12577

Writer12577 #1 · Mar 2nd, 2013 · · ·

This certainly was interesting. I like what you did here. I don't know if it's because of the fact that it's three in the morning and I'm half-asleep, but this really managed to catch my attention and, I must say, it was a good thing.

A pleasant read, all in all, but oh so short.

Kage no Brony

Kage no Brony #2 · Mar 2nd, 2013 · · ·

2199148

Yeah, it was just a quick idea that I'd been mulling over, and I decided to write it down. I'm glad you like it.

vren55

vren55 #3 · Aug 12th, 2013 · · ·

Well the style was pleasant. The premise... was WAY too familiar with my own story so I got the shivers. How you can really distinguish yourself is by continuing this story. It was also too short :P

Kage no Brony

Kage no Brony #4 · Aug 12th, 2013 · · ·

3032605

I have ideas for continuations, but so far what I have written is even shorter than this in length (by more than 1000 words), and is therefore unacceptable. (After all, this is barely long enough to be a one-shot as it is.)

Perhaps someday it will be ready. But not today.

SteelTalons

SteelTalons #5 · Aug 26th, 2013 · · ·

That was a refreshing piece; the love, devotion, regret spun into the tale makes it a fine read.

I had originally written a much longer critique, but as the story idea has been explored (which I discovered a bit too late), I'll just leave with this: One, Changelings. Two, flashbacks or backstories, when told, not shown, become a dangerous crutch. Three, be sure to mull over your ideas beforehand, to ensure there are no plot holes or OOC Syndromes requiring setups. But more importantly, mull over your ideas to ensure you are not hopping over half-buried gemstones. This was where most of my now obsolete critique went. Four, "a utopia." It's based on sound, not spelling, and this is a case of the "y" consonant (a eulogy, a university). Seems anal-retentive? That's what I first thought, too.

Five, vary your sentences. I am referring to sentence lengths and to the use of 'And' or 'But' in beginning sentences. The former might be excusable—Hemingway did fine—but the latter, not so much, please. Short sentences (like all types of sentences, whatever they were), tend to lose their power when overused. Hemingway did fine.

If you believe, however, that I perceived this story negatively based on the size of my praise versus the size of my critique, then you are wrong. Consider again the purpose. If an author is doing something right, there's little need to expound; conversely, if an author is doing something wrong, there is every need to expound and to assist. Above all else, remember that even grammar is subjective. Don't take this harshly.

Authors win ties, after all.

Please excuse me whilst I read your other stories.

Kage no Brony

Kage no Brony #6 · Aug 26th, 2013 · · ·

3108163

Before I reply, let me thank you for your criticisms. I know I have some learning to do.

Now, for your first point... D'oh. I totally know that, but it's a knee-jerk reaction to type it without the "e". Which annoys me greatly.

Second point, I'm not intending to make a habit out of this kind of writing, it was mainly an experiment to see if I could make something out of it. Judging by the response, it seems I can.

Your third is the most bothersome to me. Would you overly mind sending a PM with some examples of plot holes, OOC syndromes, and/or buried gemstones? Your entire critique (if you still have it, that is) would be acceptable, too.

Number four... Huh. I always believed that if the word starts with a vowel, it's "an"... Thanks for pointing that out.

Five... I will keep that in mind.

In closing, I understand. Very few words are needed to express appreciation, while many are necessary to point out flaws.

goaway