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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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uh oh things are starting to heat up
hey he finally talked to Shy and GO AJ!
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/35117772.jpg
Ok, hunting I can understand, psychology, bit of a stretch, but not unimaginable, the massage classes, mmmm, bit too much, if you ask me, if it was anatomy and pressure points, which lead to massage then yes. Otherwise, Isaac is starting to look like a Gary Stu now.....
2167206 Me Moonsta? Moon Gusta?
No idea what to call that picture.
lol nice :)
Besides the grammar mistakes, this story is getting pretty compelling :D
*pomf*
Applejack and Rainbow Dash in heat, Isaac's going to have one HELL of a busy week(Giggity)
Nice when do you think the next update will be?
Wait till the next day. Awkward moments well occur if involving them and Isaac with alcohol
2167518 Not just yet aleast not with those two. (Foreshadowing!)
Someone has a split personality...
I sense a love triangle: + + = ohh discord there will be chaos! a "LOVELY" chaos for sure!
Apart from the spell errors another great addition, I look forwardto reading moar and moar and moar GIVE ME MOAR
Elixir
"He quickly mad his way to his room"
Mad should be made
And I saw an on that should've been an of earlier but can't remember where it was off the top of my head.
And 2 mares enter the ring and take a step closer ladies and gentlemen, but we still have to see Vinyl and Lotus make their move, who will win this battle and who will Isaac will end, did he will choose only one? Did he will start a herd? Or he will return before things get out of handed? I can't wait to the next chapter to find out…an I think Shy is starting to like him more, maybe she will step in the ring too. (I sure as hell hope so)
Je, the only thing missing is one of the princess gaining interest in him. I can't wait to see what he has in store for Spike in his dated, I really hoped that the bad blood between him and Rarity will dissipated quickly (and that she is not mad with Isaac for setting her in a date with Spike instead of him)
My my, won't discord be happy with this little love triangle. Oh AJ and RD are gonna have fun beating the shit out of each other for Isaac
Hm, RD or AJ....
Loving this chapter along with the others!
Storyline is maintained well and has a good grip and build up to new scenarios which keep it moving well!
Looking forward to more chapters! :D
Hmmm another brilliant chapter, love the internal conflicts starting to emerge, adds a bit more depth to the characters
Wow, this guy got to cop a feel, have a make out session, and unwittingly gave another girl a handjob. I'd qualify that as a good day!
I must say, the pacing is getting better. Honestly, I couldn't find anything wrong worth mentioning. Good on you.
Anyway, let's move on.
She takes care of animals and she fully knows some of them eat meat (hell, in the season finale her animals were going to eat Rainbow Dash - even the herbivores). The fact that there are creatures that eat meat shouldn't be surprising to her.
Anyway, a surprisingly good dialogue between Applejack and Gary later:
Gee, could that be because you locked him in a cage, treated him like dirt (even if that was quickly changed) and he almost got killed the other day? Plus the whole "being ripped from his own dimension into a world of colorful, humanoid equines" could be a medium, but let's not tarry on that.
...When? You didn't say or do anything that could be taken as selfish. By the Emperor... it's Isaac Gary Stu aura that's making her believe it!
...Sucks?
Oh boy, here we go...
No one is this oblivious. Hell, not even you Isaac.
How would you know? Did you at any point see her climb a tree?
Sorry, did I miss something anywhere?
Hey! The man inside his head is back! Let's see what he has to say about all this!
That's the first legitimate question I have seen throughout this fic.
As if Isaac in the end deciding to stay in Equestria wasn't clear enough...
It's really disturbing to see how Isaac is in complete self-conflict. The fact that he may be schizophrenic is actually quite a plausible theory.
*skipping a bit ahead*
Wingboner? Ugh. I would rant about it but like I said in the previous chapter I don't care about how much fanon is being used.
Oh well, at least we won't have a scene where Isaac is massagi-
...Hey Isaac!
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9sp5t4jG61r04b1po1_500.gif
"Away, schizophrenic, strange, unexplained self conflict! My hunger for female equines will be sated!"
Oh, time to meet Fluttershy and add her to the list of love interests?
Hm. I like that name. From now on the bear's name is Barry!
...
Fluttershy does not keep animals in cages!
Anyway, I smell Fluttershy's caring nature for animals taken too far...
Well, it seems I was right! I would very much like to point out something:
1.bp.blogspot.com/-oBLGXA_xh7Y/Tze486AX2BI/AAAAAAAAAIs/314_l1_FGZA/s1600/25511+-+fish+fluttershy+plot+screencap+When_you_see_it.png
Thank you very much - come again! (And no; it's not fake)
As much as I would love to see Isaac getting furiously mauled by a bear I have to ask nontheless: why reach for your knife at all, you jackass?!
Was a hug or a mere hand on his shoulder or no physical contact simply too much?!
as she should have done instead of embracing him in a wing-hug, or not at all for that matter.
Anyway, time to leave. Any longer and she would have succumbed to his Stu-ness and given him her number.
Alright... Rarity doesn't adress everyone as "darling" all the time. Same with Applejack; she doesn't use the word "sugarcube" that much either. Both is actually a rarity (no pun intended).
I hate to defend Isaac but what the actual hell? She's annoyed for something he had no control over happened? Are you deliberately trying to make Rarity look like a spoiled bitch in this fic?
....What? Did he lie down just in time for someone to interrupt him or did he actually fall asleep? What, author? What??
Why do I get the feeling he's going to urge Spike to make a move during this party?
For crying out loud, Rainbow Dash! This is supposed to be fun, not creepy! The hell is wrong with you?!
Oh Discord! Thank the Emperor you're here! I was ready to start eating my fingers!
I have to say, Discord gets it. He thinks it's pretty funny how naive and oblivious Isaac is to everything too. Well... I think it's more painful than funny, but hey...
I would like to point out that "Pegasi" is the plural of "Pegasus". The correct term you're looking for is
.
Anyway, Isaac is enlightened!
He did it, ladies and gentlemen! Isaac has actually managed to put the pieces together! Very good, Isaac!24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4zc1fMLux1rwcc6bo1_500.gif
Mark this day in your calendars - etch it in stone for it shall never occur again. So saith the prophecy.
Anyway, I would like to point something out:
I find it really funny how the scene where Isaac massages Rainbow's wings and the one where he kisses Applejack to be the most detailed paragraphs in this chapter while everything else is rushed (granted, it's not as badly rushed as previous chapters, but still).
Anyway, let's see what Gary is doing.
He's a Gary Stu. It's his nature to know everything.
So just to recap: not only is Isaac a Gary Stu who gets all the girls and knows how to do basically everything better than the other characters, he's also a jerkass who's forcing Rarity to go on a date with Spike when he should really mind his own damn business. And what if Rarity isn't interested in Spike, and doesn't want to hurt his feelings? Nah, Isaac gives less than a shit about that; all he cares about is helping his "Brooooo" with things that should not be. Our "hero", everybody.
Good. A little bit of tension, because even a guy kicked in the head by a horse can see that this will be a distaster. And everything's on Isaac.
Oh well. Let's call it a night, yes? Oh, Rainbow Dash want to say someth-
.............
NO! NO! NO!!! NO!!!! Isaac having schizophrenic moments is bad enough! You will NOT drag Rainbow Dash down there too!! Rainbow Dash is a GOOD and SANE character, not some schizophrenic wreck with inner conflicts! Least of all for Isaac!
Well, as if one character having inner conflicts wasn't enough, let's have another scene where Isaac talks with his more-rational-than-himself side!
Well... I like this new development where Isaac is physically hurting himself. It actually put a small smile on my face.
Final thoughts:
Well, this chapter brought me no small amount of severe displeasure; character wise anyhow. I actually hate Isaac more than before. I would write 4-5 paragraphs on how much I dislike him at the moment and why but I'll let this do the talking instead:
Anyway, like I said; character wise this left a bad taste in my mouth. What I like is that the pacing has gotten considerably better than previous chapters (though the half-erotic scenes are strangely better paced and more detailed than the rest of the story - oh right... clopfic).
So yeah... let's see if the next chapter can redeem Isaac. Here's to.
digdang.com/media/images/wingman_of_the_year_3521.jpg
Love it.
you need an editor. i've seen grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, and no many punctuation mistakes it's making my face stick in a permanant cringe.
2168842 then stop reading
Oh, man, here we go
2168175 Look Man... Look. I agree with you in some things, but you are getting too far away, he isnt a machine, he is a person, and he can make errors, Some Things are done on Purpose, and you dont seem to notice, And the ''Well... I like this new development where Isaac is physically hurting himself. It actually put a small smile on my face.'' thing its Kinda Creepy Man .
Actually you DID a good work writing the ''Critique'' but, Hey! He Is Good and He is doing well, So for me and i think for him too Its Okay.
(Why do you hate Isaac dat much?)
2169466
No; not at all. Isaac is a complete work of fiction, I could wish cancer upon him and it wouldn't affect anyone - at least not people who aren't oversensitive. Granted, the fault probably lies with me considering my statement can easily be misunderstood. I should probably have put it like so:
Better? No? Ah well. I'm not here to sugar coat my opinion because one (so far two) individual(s) can't handle that I'm a little cruel and snarky.
Oh my, are you in for a treat. You wanna know? Do you? In that case....
My answer.
Read my other reviews. Should inform you plenty.
I liked it.
Can't wait for more!
Ya I'm just going to say that I like this story. I can't wait to see what happens when the girls go into heat because that's going to be some funny shit right there.
2168175 I'm glad that you think that my pacing is getting better, it's been a real problem in my fics. As always your feedback makes me laugh at my own faults to a degree, you never cease to entertain me. Hopefully the coming chapters will be better.
Let me point out that with the development of wings to an otherwise originally earthbound creature must indicate a slightly avian mutation. With that, I theorize that pegasi, like most other large avian creatures, are omnivorous, whether that includes merely fish or even other pre-killed creatures. A tidbit of theoretical information from me. What do you think?
Can you please tell me about the mature features of Spike? I can't get the thought of pedophilia out of my head with the Sparity in this.
You've told me he's about 17 (but not in the story). When you get to the date part, please, please, PLEASE, mention the size of spike in terms of height and muscular stature, otherwise; the implication of Spike being a baby dragon will still be there.
The only way to know for sure if Isac is schizophrenic is if he starts to hallucinate. He might have a special unknown/rare type of dementia, but that is usally accompained by memory loss. It is unclear what he has as of current.
that was entrusting.
2168175
Its it wrong that I come to most stories like this just to find reviews like yours?
2168902i like th' story, it's th' editing that freaks me out.
2170235 Glad to hear it. I was actually a little worried I had been too harsh on this chapter. It actually makes me warm and fuzzy all over to see that some authors can actually take criticism.
Probably pointed out once or twice times that I do it in a snarky way only for entertainment value, but there you go.
2171247 Funny. I've actually been told that a lot.
2171868 What's the point of being a writer if you can't take constructive criticim?
Right now this is my favorite story. Keep making awesomeness.
Is it just me but are the extra little voices in everyone's head Discord screwing with them.
It's that wonderful time once again, Review Time:
What a strange nightmare, I wonder what it means.
The scene with Issac and Applejack, cliche.
Not black, but close enough
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/029/1/c/rainbow_dash_by_lalox-d5t7o1d.jpg
*pfft* wingboner It's always funny.
Issac giving Rainbow a Wingjob,
th09.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/188/9/a/rarity_facehoof_vector_by_buttsurgeon-d56dl24.png
derpicdn.net/thumbs/1500/800/2012/07/05/19_35_12_398_33026__rainbow_dash_applejack_comic_suggestive_questionable_big_macintosh_bondage_whip_anal_beads *end of review*
Well this was a funny chapter, your already making us wonder who Issac will wind up with in the end and it seems like your not making it easy for us.(good job)
A story this good only come once in a blue moon please keep up the good work.
2169571
Brutal criticism. Almost as ebil as Brutal Sniping.
2175538 Good guess but no.
The voice in their head is nightmare moon. It is pretty obvious.
This story has gotten a little weird somewhere, he's getting close to being a Gary Stu without justified reasons for being one then skills popping up out of no where. They're still a little believable that anyon can have these skills but it's getting kind of weird about how he had time to learn about all of them.
10 bits says Fluttershy's the next to have a thing for Isaac