Page generated in 0.034 seconds
Total duration
1,039 users online
1,947,229 hits today, 2,818,023 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
2126244 Oo-okay... That's not really what I ment should happen, but sure.
EDIT: You know what, I actually do hope he gets his ass kicked. So much so his limbs get twisted in all angles and broken bones pierces his skin while every bodily fluid leaks from his mangled being. Then he'll just lie there on the ground, occasionally coughing out a dying and chocked gasp of air in grotesque spasms.
Oh this is just Great!!! it went from all happy and calm to tradegy and despair in secounds!!, very good job with this chapter
I wouldn't recommend Rainbow being in the room when he wakes up. She may or may not get a case of fist to the face. Seriously. Even if that pill worked normally, bitch move, Dash. Bitch move.
could be worse I mean he could of fallen off that cloud and landed on his back BUT the twist is he has a damaged coxes
one second he is being carried to surgery and the next he's in his own room? that's rushing it a bit too much... there are also some mis-spellings but considering this chapter was over 8000 words i'm willing to look past that
Gender swap Isaac hilarity
Almost dead Isaac with rainbow crying over him super duper sad:'(
Possibility for new chapters coming out today hopefully maybe it would make go yay!
2126355 That's not the ass kicking part I was talking about.
Sweet, just finished the first three chapters and now this one.
What kind of house is she?
Was kinda hoping he's turn into a pony or something but whatever. Great chapter mate
I have a feeling about isaac and dash.
Yup i would be pretty pissed to if that would happen to me.
But please don't make this a, i'm sorry and it's all good between them moment
Son of a bitch I fell ten feet when I was FIVE ! thank god I didn't brake anything or die.
And here
Ouch, ten feet to the ground hurts. I know, I fell that before
“Please coma again.” The blue sister said with a smile.
Correct me if I am wrong but isn't coma a state of unconsciousness?
There's not much to be said about this chapter, but I won't because it's all so mind-boggling.
...
I lied. 'Ere we go!
So we start off with the Poison Joke comedic effect that apparently turned Isaac into... a chick?
Took the words right out of my mouth, Applejack.
....I actually have nothing negative to say about that other than it being a needless plot device for comedic effect. Also, kudos for not making Dash drool over Girl Isaac (we'll have enough with her drooling over Guy Isaac later, I'm certain...), using the fanon that she's a lesbian. Again, kudos.
So, on their way to the spa to fix it. Isn't that where the two twin sisters work?
Well, more Isaac randomly talking to himself that we never had any exposition about?
Gotta give it to Isaac's weird, schizophrenic self:
If by "kindness" and "respect" you mean locking you inside a glass cage, showing you pretty much nothing short of distrust, racial backtalk, threats and physical damage, you're totally right. Seriously, is he honestly that naive?!
I'm curious: you do know who Rainbow Dash is, right? Whatever, he has her number now! Yay, another character for the plot device!
Alright, had someone said that to me considering I have been in a coma I would have punched them - be it male or female.
Oh, another phone number and possible love interest?
Alright, on to meeting Rarity for the new shirt.
Oh my, I wonder how that will have an impact the story in any way, shape, or form when the time of his return is upon us...
How about not considering they aren't really ment for each other. All you will accomplish is Spike getting his heart broken and- oh right, Gary Stu.
*skipping rushed conversation between Isaac and Spike about the mane six*
So completely out of nowhere Rainbow Dash figures a prank that involves Isaac plummeting to the ground because he made her wear a dress seem like a perfectly rational idea. I would like to point out that pranks that can lead to severe physical damage isn't Rainbow Dash's cup of tea, but sure. We need a climax and another plot device.
I find it disgustingly OOC of Rainbow Dash to blame Derpy for something she herself did and not realising it was all her fault before Gary Stu over there pointed it out. Rainbow Dash isn't an idiot; she knows where the line goes.
"Yes. Me sorry; me don't want plot device to ruin relationship between me and Gary Stu."
Final thoughts:
Alright, real talk. This chapter drained me, and I mean drained me. If I seem too harsh in my reviews it's because HiE is something I am very passionate about. I don't think me groaning out loud in frustration every time I see this story in my updates is a particularly good sign. You know why that happens? Because this is pretty much like all HiE stories these days: everything goes ridiculously easy for the protagonist and he becomes every mare's dream in a matter of a few chapters. What makes this story different that makes me want to stay? I don't know. Maybe because human in humanized Equestria is a rarity or I still have a small hope things will get better.
I mean, good God - Isaac getting the phone number from every mare he comes across is just... Stu. It's just Stu, goddamit. You mentioned he has to choose between them all. What, are you planning to make them all fight for Isaac's affection an-
Oh please tell me you aren't going there....
Huh do they want him in a coma so they can, RAPE HIM IN HIS SLEEP!? Or have i been reading too many Molestia stories lately?
Dash stay with Isaac while he recovers if you r truly sorry
2123397 At this I'm yay and also sad beacuse Issac will have to disapoint some pony(s)
I think Dash, forgot the thing of the photo, consider the embarrassment I would said there were even, what she did with the cloud, was crossing the line. And we still don't know how will react Vinyl when she wakes up with a broken door, the P-Phone of Isaac, and him nowhere to be find out, just to find out what Dash did…yeah she will be very mad with Dash.
And we still don't have news from Discord, when is he going to make an appearance?
Magic pill wear off?
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbrarcK1WQ1qhc01ao1_500.jpg
2126956 No they won't fight over him I promise you that, I'm new to HiE fics and I have very little experience writing them. I appreciate the feed back, I'll try and improve on it.
2127275 Oh good. I was really nervous for a moment there.
Carry on then.
nice so far and i love the short updates.
i sense a isaac and rainbow thing coming on...
That was boring...K unfavoriting. Already left a dislike and such but whatever. Not only is there no ACTUALL improvement to the context but there also is no change between chapters. You also happen to throw characters into a scene even though they don't need to be there. So yea -100000000 points in my book soooooooooo yea I'm going to leave now...have a nice day :D
2127706 Fair enough.
Issac turning into a girl was funny
2127706 dude come on give him some credit the chapter was pretty funny!
2127817
Not really...personally I'd be jumping for joy and playing with my tits if I became the only female on the planet...(even if I'm downright ugly)...but yea I don't see why he would react so negatively.
But yea this is good if you REALLY want crude humor but not for me. You may find it funny but I don't.
2126956 jeez calm down dude it just a story you dont have to point every flaw in it!
2127842 what you said was pretty funny but i dont think that most people would do that
(okay i would i little bit and im kinda ugly to)
why Jesus WHY!!!!!
2117279 Weak ass plot, over-used trope, mediocre writing.
2127959 Relax, I welcome all kinds of critiscism.
And according to the cover art, boobs!
2128004 thanks for i second i went crazy!;
2127916 And why not? I'm trying to help him improve because I actually /LIKE/ HiE and I want to give him a chance to entertain me and people with a little more standards for such fics. I'm not a guy who sugarcoats his opinion. I enjoy giving reviews if it can help the story in any way, but I'm not afraid to come off as "rude" or destructive even if it's not my intention in the slightest. That's criticism; and not everyone gives it constructively (I would of course do so if the author ever asked me to give reviews with only constructive criticism).
You may call that whatever you prefer, I know my own intentions by giving reviews and that is all that matters to me.
EDIT: Good day.
I don't know if anybody else had take noticed of this but the whole gender swap is a HUGE cliche, seriously, in almost every fic I had seeing if a human step in that damm flower his or her gender swap, is more than overrated, and the whole joke of that is not that funny, that is why I suggested you does options because there are new, there can be funny too, and most of all is not creepy.
If a good friend of yours one day wakes up with his or her gender swap, would you laugh? I sure as hell no, why? because is not funny, is not entertained, is just creepy ( at least in my opinion) but oh well at least it give us an excuse to introduce Lotus and Aloe.
And seriously where is Discord? The whole thing is his fault and you kind of have being stalling the plot long enough, what is next? Luna will handed his phone with her number and a picture that only he can watch under the treat of death? Come up dude, this story have potential, continue with the plot already
2128160 Hole=/=Whole
Place a W before your "hole" 's if you're trying to say whole, as in "complete", instead of the type of hole you find in the ground. Just some advice.
2128198
thanks
2128217 No problem, gotta watch out for homonyms
The music link is not working anymore....
And this is why knighty needs to reprogram the Feature Box to not except stories with less than a 5:1 upvote to downvote ratio...
love the story so far and i dont care what others think. also love the quick updates.
2128160 Discord will make an appearance in the next chapter
2128057 I understand and I gladly accept any and all advice you can give. I also enjoy the occasional HiE as well but like I said in a previouse comment this is my first one, I'm using this as a prototype for some other ideas I have. I like to think that I have improved immensley since I first started writing, but that is only my opinion.
Wait, wait, wait, this isn't set in the Dead Space universe!?
2128649
Oh good, maybe you can easy now with the whole romance thing, well in retrospective I have only seeing Vinyl and and Lotus googol over him, so there is not so much problem there, but seriously low the bar with the romance is more entertained if there are friends first and you establish that.
Also, did the princesses will arrive next chapter? Or at least one of them?
Oh and good job with him being able to get hurt, you still have to low a little his personality, yeah we get it, he had a very bad past, don't show us by him tell that, show by his emotional scar, he was lonely for at least 20 years, became him very insecure, he was bully make him remember a hurt past laughing and when they ask why is laughing he said that everybody else laugh, why not him? He don't spare because of fear of killing Dash, make him having a flashback where he injure very bad someone, and freeze from the shock. his parents are death, making him unable to see Applejack or Rarity with their siblings out of pain. Making have nightmares
Button line, make him human, so far we had seeing the good parts of him, you need balance, if he had defects the story will be much better trust me, those above where just only a couple of ideas of how you can balance everything, because to be honest with you, if he had pass through the past you are claiming…he should have a lot of mental scars, you can't put a dark past without the scars that come from them, otherwise everybody will just think he is lying.
By the way, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie didn't had something to tell Dash? or Isaac? So far they kind of vanish
Oh don't get me wrong your story is good, and I want to see where is going, I only want to help you improved, oh and I want to see what the princesses will tell Dash, prank or not, what she did is something serious that can't simple be ignore
I just read all four of your chapters today. Awesome story a bit different then most Anthro stories I'm use to. I think you know what I mean . Well if you do decide add that kind of stuff I still read it :but if you don't that ok because I'm really enjoying this little story of yours.