• Member Since 8th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 25th, 2023

Mothykins


To emerge from a cocoon, transformed

E

A box can hold more Memories then you ever could imagine, and more regrets then you could ever believe.

A Very short Oneshot

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 36 )

I teared up a bit :fluttercry: But its adorable, good job

It's very nicely done and sad. You didn't weigh it down with lots of descriptions or dialogue, and I think that's for the best—it works nicely as a short story.

2010630 I've always found that when someone writes a story inspired by a song, they tend to work in the lyrics into dialogue - So I challenged myself to have none. Glad that it worked to your liking.

2010571 Awww, I didn't mean for it to be quite that sad.

Nice Snow Patrol reference :yay:

2010751 haha, thank you.

2010810 Ah-hah, mission accomplished.

2010919 Wow. Them's some heavy hittin' feels.

2010928
If feels weren't invisible then they would be like this:
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5qb67pGvc1r3zat8.gif
That's a fridge/car.


I'm gonna go get a neck brace now.

2010936 Ow. o_o Woah, I didn't... Sorry. :C

Holy commas Batman.
"With great care she set it on the table before placing a proper bookmark into the paperback before taking another sip of wine before turning her attention to the box again." <----That needs them. Bad. That one sentence drove me up the wall.

I mean, throughout the rest of the fic, you're pretty good with your commas, but that sentence is just bad.

Beyond that though, this was a nice fic to read, good feels, not too long and not too short, and just the right amount of sadness. A moustache and a like for you. :moustache:

2010961 Holy crap, how did I miss that, asrgasdgbluhbluhbluh!!

Thank you, gotta fix that now, arg.

2011001 That is possibly the most tear-jerking image I have yet to see.

really good I needed a sadfic right now:fluttershysad:

2010968
My inner grammar/punctuation/spelling Nazi thanks you.

I'm not sure how it turned out to be Luna... For most of the story, I thought it was Twi...

2011226 you Mean Celestia, right? I made sure I never mentioned who it was until the end and constantly added in little hints about "The suns light" whenever something was inspected - Celestia's magic. I was determined to have something stand out just a bit, and a small twist like that really just... worked. As for why it seemed like Twi, it's implied that it's all her stuff, and Celestia is finally getting to stop and look over it all, long after she passed on...

I might have to read this just for the Snow Patrol reference.

2011772 If you do, I hope you enjoy it.

Well done, but considering your level of skill, it felt rushed. This is far too short!

2011867 but if I made it longer would it have the same impact, or would it have felt like so much padding?

2011226 ok know I thought the same thing

2011901
I think it depends. If you had done it from Celestia's view, perhaps, and had her hear two ponies talking about them as fairytales, then have her going to find them, breaking down... I don't know. It just feels like it needs more.

I was browsing this site on my iPad earlier today, when I accidentally tapped on this story. Having now just read it, I'm quite glad to have had that accident happen.

Anyhow, you've truly written a great story complete with some heavy feels. Excellent piece all in all.

2012622 Ahaha, thank you!

Eh... Well, you've got a good grasp on style, though it's "First were" not "where", and "sun's", not "suns".

It's a very mood-reliant piece. It meanders a lot, as it should based on the subject matter, but I felt that the reveal at the end wasn't enough to warrant the degree of meandering which went on.

2051014 Hey, learning experience, right?

Thanks for the comment.

I have read this story 10 times, and i cried every time. :pinkiesad2: This is amazingly written. FARORITED!

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