The first died doing what she loved.
The second died in train accident.
The third died for fear of what she might become.
The fourth died for her friends.
The fith died for Equestria.
But which is the last one standing?
Chapters (5)
foppp
Joined 4th Jan, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Doctor Perseus · 8.6k words · 1,191 18 · 23k views
- TheApexSovereign · 2.9k words · 901 37 · 24k views
- Scorch215 · 7k words · 376 12 · 9.5k views
- Matthais Unidostres · 18k words · 265 8 · 8.7k views
- ShrapnelLeader · 23k words · 205 6 · 5.5k views
- GigaBowser · 75k words · 479 23 · 16k views
- Darth Link 22 · 18k words · 387 20 · 13k views
- Zennistrad · 19k words · 143 4 · 3.4k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.183 seconds
Total duration
995 users online
2,152,866 hits today, 2,591,549 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This was....Good? Were you going for a sort of poetic tragedy?
Ok, I'm going to try and be diplomatic.
You need to run this by a proofreader STAT. When a spelling error slips by in your chapter title it's high time you slow down. (FYI: the chapter title should be "the Fifth" not "The fith"). There were some sentences that were just painful to read because of the spelling/grammar errors.
Second, is there a reason you are breaking up the story into such small pieces? All together this could be a single chapter. Or you could greatly expand each one into a full size chapter. There are no rules about how short or long you need to make chapters but 300-500 words is SHORT. It's so short it almost reads like a poem. Is that what you were going for? I don't think so since there isn't any particular rhyme or meter, but I could be wrong.
The best part of this was wondering which pony was going to make it. I figured it out around chapter four. I was hoping it would be Fluttershy cause that would be a little bit unexpected but oh well.
Go below me is right. I read them all and they all have numerous spelling mistakes. If this is poetic than the short chapters is forgivable, but even then the short chapters were REALLY pushing it. It was sad to an extent but I couldn't really get into it due to the errors in spelling.
1943375 thank you, (<not sarcasitic, It's just hard to tell in writing) I meant for the main thing to keep people reading to be that, I thought to story would be more dramatic/easyer to read split up into smaller pices. I don't like doing or reading long chapters, and it was not meant to me rhythmical or poetic in any way, but if it was and yo uliked it, great! thank you, and leave more comments if you want to,
Well... you need an editor.
Because grammar is too mainstream.
Sgt.sprinkles... and you ment to offense...
....nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not Fluttershy!!!!
if this is finished why does the status say incomplete??
1943697 Agreed. Still this is decent.
R.I.P Rainbow Dash.
R.I.P. Applejack.
This is why I hate "Cupcakes", too many people connect Pinkie Pie to a fic that was obviously not meant to be considered cannon!
R.I.P Pinkie Pie
R.I.P Fluttershy.
R.I.P Twilight Sparkle.
Rainbow Dash's death seems unlikely. Pegasi can control the weather and can fly through clouds so I doubt lightning could do much other than maybe blacken their coats.
Applejack's death doesn't make sense because if there were backups why wouldn't the delays be posted at the train station. Plus shouldn't there have been warning signals or flags to ensure no collisions occurred?
Pinkie Pie's death I really hate because well regardless of what some ponies might think Pinkie Pie would've shrugged it off. I really don't understand why some ponies couldn't just keep their mouths shut.
Fluttershy's death somewhat made sense but I really think she could've tried to use The Stare.
Twilight's death was the only one that I think actually could happen. She sacrificed herself to save Equestria.
Regardless you should've run this through an editor before posting because there are lots of errors.
1943926
maybe because it isn't complete. it's rarity's story now.
and i love it so far.
. i can't wait to hear moar 
i honestly thought it would be twilight still standing.
Rarity standing is an interesting twist
1944844 When did I ever say it wasn't decent?
Oh god... I don't like hearing these deaths...
but they are kinda funny... 
just kidding 
Wow no rarity death... Man I really wanted to hear rarity die!
sorry rarity but I don't really like you... 
I shed a tear for this story. You earned it
R.I.P Dashie
you will be missed and will always have a place in our heart's.
R.I.P AJ
You will always be one of my favourite ponies.
1943926 my falt! i'll update, thank you to everpony who rad adn commented, or just read. I know my spelling/grammar is bad, please dont waste comments on that, thank you for the critisizem!
1946289 thank you!
1944863 i agree!! glad i found sompony else!
So just one question after all that (if somewhat in need of editing) awesome death writing, how does Rarity die
1947746 I honestly hadn't thought about that, over exposoir to beauty products?
1948238
Sounds right haha!
1946967 YES YOU DIDNT KILL RARITY
you. are. awesome.
1953593
why thank you 
. I only sorta like her, I just thought it would be a nice twist, because everpony thinks she'll be one of the ones that gets killed off really early 
You mean scheduled, months, sentence, canceled, Pegasi, and favorite.
Sad though. Not very detailed, but touching.
I know many people are really sad that Fluttershy died, but think about it: If Fluttershy had been the one survivor, she wouldn't be able to handle living without her friends. The others would be very depressed, but would be able to pull through. Kind, gentle Fluttershy might not be able to handle it.
1982831 I don't object to grammar/spelling comments, they are true and i know that i am far from the best at it, but please try and ignore them and enjoy the story, im glad you found it touching
YAY, finally got off my but and edited those god awful spelling/ grammar mistakes
You may now read without having to put up with unreadable grammar mistakes.
You're welcome