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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice :)
MOAR
A few words for celestia, Smokin ass, and tits the size of bowling balls, good job author, good job.
So the plot begins? Liking were this is going
Comedy, fused with clop, this is the PERFECT combination, I'm amazed! Make more ASAP!
I can't tell whether this it is just a story of a guy running around during estrus or if there is actually going to be a story beyond that.
Why is Daniel don't hide his junk? He only had one hand handcuffed.
Also I really, really, REALLY hoped Celestia will be the voice of reason and clear some air in the situation, perhaps apologies for Twilight behavior. also I really hoped he break the jar of sperm that thing for the looks of things, is virtually morphine.
At least he is fully dress again
The plot just took off? NOW I REALLY AM DYING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!
Oh my, decisions decisions! What should Celestia choose? The full jar or the stallion?
Oh man he's so dead and gone ... still there's some grammar errors
..he should just respond "twilight used a trans dimensional teleportation spell to get me here...so put me back or the wrath of the EMPRAH!! will be upon you!!...or atleast the wrath of the us army+ wherever hes from army...because the us just needs a small excuse to shoot the shit out of stuff and I think aliens kidnapping and raping people counts for an excuse
I'm kinda wondering what you were trying to do with all of the different first-person bits. It's a bit distracting trying to keep up with who's mind you're reading at times.
2178497
I can see how it could be distracting. I choose to put other characters in first person just to let the reader know what they're thinking at the moment.
More please
The plot took off? Sounds more like it just landed and walked into the building.
I'm not sure if he's lucky, or the most UNlucky member of the Human race.
2186836
Lawls, I see what you did there.
did zecora just put a hole through dan's balls?!
2189088 Bazing !!!!
*takes out a minigun* YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!
4786863 whoa there! O_o
4786863 when you say minigun i see the dildo launcher from deadrising 3.
AD: Wonka has done it again! Now for your salacious and sultry delights, you'll want to try his new treat: Willy Wonka's Creamy Wienie! With that rich, smooth and creamy milk chocolate on the outside and that creamy filling on the inside, it's an explosion of savory flavors in your mouth! Willy Wonka's Creamy Wienie, coming to an adult store near you!
Me: (Brain, what the hell are you thinking? Ugh! I'll never look at a Twinkie the same way ever again!)
6162166 hahahaha oh dear lord to much make it stop
>What even is anatomy
I honestly expected him to trade the jar with Pinkie for his freedom. Now I'm wondering what else it could be used for.
6162166 Thank you for your humorous ad slogan right there I might need to ask you for others in the future. You have talent. Just keep it 'M' for Mature.
And the reason she had to cut his genitals rather than 'milk' him the usual way was...? That just seemed needlessly gratuitous. Not to mention you basically gloss over all the clop parts as if they're nothing more than foot notes.
6986207
I know, right? It was understandable how people had confused ideas about this shit when I was a kid, but nowadays? When it takes all of five seconds to type 'how duz thu dicks work?' into your magic pocket supercomputer and have it spit the collected knowledge of all of human history on the subject of boning back at you?
the mare's hunted him down
HA!
ummm.. so far this reads like someone who has never been laid.. or knows anything about human reproductive organs.
My response "KILL ME PLEASE!"
Lots and lots of Rape.
9095417
I known it's getting really annoying... Like seriously are they ugly? NO!!. Yes the rape part it's legitimately scary but it doesn't add up if the MC is also a pervert and is aroused by them.
Now I understand the first 6 chapters warning...
😰😰😰