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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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INITIAL THOUGHTS:
hmmm...I'll give this a read. See where it goes. Looks promising though.
AFTER A FEW CHAPTERS:
...yup. That's what I thought.
Another question to be asked would be: Will Daniel become Nightmare's or Molestia's plaything?
4468169
Is that a good remark or a bad remark. I think the story is going good. A new twist on the essences of Molly and Nightmare Moon
Great chapter!
I hope that Nightmare's plan to kill that vampony fail and Daniel needs to safe her, would be an awesome twist of events
Shrek 2 reference?
4468214
eeeyup...
It's good so far. Got me still reading
Why I'm starting to had this feeling that Daniel very soon will had an army of female ghost waiting for his command as some ghost contract or thanks obligation that they most perform because he let them ascend and had eternal peace?
Hey admitted, it will be kind of funny that he now had ghost as body guards
Wow... a Up-Date! I believed this was dead... it was worth the wait.
so many chances for things to go wrong but nope it all turns out OK and i mean the part with the ghost i thought would have him in trouble but nope any hoo good chapter as always
An update with a promise of more to follow!?!
Also, kinda diverged from the original plotline. And I think that's hilarious !
oh no nightmare is leader to the vamponies, celestia is leader to the valkyries , and molestia is leader of the succubiponies, i see a war in the future
I want Daniel to become a vampony
What about Luna?
Well, good luck.
4468959
With what?
4468604
Request denied..., though he does gain something out of it.
okay this i'm lost. so nightmare moon is the leader of the vamponies while molestia is the leader of the succponies. is that right. still awesome chapter man
4469176
With better dialogue scenes.
Though, it's a good loophole when they are talking in the head.
4469367
To me, I like the reader to imagine what their expression is during dialogue, because honestly, how would one react to seeing a ghost. He stuttered, and if that's not enough then that means poor imagination (cue spongebob)
A big disadvantage Daniel has in this world is that he is just a regular human in a magic powered world. So what if he were to acquire something in the future that would negate that advantage (like having his blood infected or replaced with Smooze or something)?
Yeah it's official, I have a thing for blood-sucking vamponies now.
4469401
I meant all of the instances where there is just spoken lines.
Lines and lines. Feels like I'm reading text line instead of a story.
There's a lot of it.
This just went from a sex story to a full on random, crazed events that completely revolve around sex. I love it!
4469924
That's what I'm talking about. Anyway, to truthfully answer your question on why I write dialogue like that is simple. Ex:
"Hey NIghtmare." I said walking up to her with a stupid grin.
"What?" She asked, eager to know what I was so smug about.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" I asked, sitting down next to her as I glared at her wonderful legs.
"I don't know, why?" She raised an eyebrow.
"To get away from people who complain about this story for some of the stupidest reasons even though they don't question how the hell there are millions of mares and less than a thousand stallions who can't reproduce worth the shit!" I continued to smile as my left eye twitched.
There you have it; I'm not going to write 'he said, she said, I said, I stated, we began' after every sentence with action they are performing at that very moment. Now, why you ask, as that may not bother you. Again it is quite simple, it bothers me, the author of this CORNY clop story. I say this not to just you, but to anyone who reads this and has a problem with the dialogue sounding 'boring'. Also, there is actually a very famous book that has the problem you're criticizing/complaining about; have you ever heard of The Three Musketeers? Not the dumbass movie with the teenaged actor who played Percy Jackson and The Lightening Thief, I mean the actual story written by Alexander Dumas during the 1800's. If you haven't read it I recommend you do, you'll get a kick out of how much dialogue there is even though half, if not less, the time there isn't 'she said, he said, they stated...etc.' behind every spoken sentence. In fact reading a spoken sentence without exactly knowing their expression or mood is quite healthy for one's brain; it allows you to picture the character in your mind. I want you to mold away from what I think, and that is why I do it. I want you to imagine. So, next time you see dialogue without anything after it I want you to imagine what his/her expression or mood is. If you can't imagine someone's expression or mood after he/she says "I FUCKING HATE YOU" when there's nothing behind it there's a simple way to fix that problem. Go to a lake and sit by the water's edge, then pretend a giant sea-dragon bursts out from the water with its golden scales glittering from the Sun's reflection. Actually, don't pretend you see that because that's what I'm going to pretend I'm seeing. Mold away from what I expect, and imagine it on your own. Honestly, I had to rant about your comment because it's the twentieth, if not close, time someone said the dialogue needs more pizazz. Imagine that pizazz yourself, I will not hold your hand throughout this story and carefully explain the character's every action and mood. So, to sum this rant up to anyone who has a problem with the dialogue, I will not change the way I write dialogue or how I write this story because this comes from my imagination I picked up from the many wondrous ideas of the world (yes, that idea of not explaining the expression or mood of someone was inspired to me by the The Three Musketeers in case you're wondering). Thank-you and goodnight..., literally goodnight, it's three in the morning here.
4470041
Interesting.
Feedback.
Complaint.
Critique.
Example.
Declaration.
*steeples fingers*
Go on...
4470066
*Grabs smoking robe and lights pipe* "Very well good sir."
"What's a viking?" asked the dragonborn, turning to look at the the other champions.
Soma Cruz, Prince of Darkness.
"Hey, no- Just his incarnation/split soul/potential something or other," said Soma, arms thrown out to the side in a shrug. Even he was not sure what to call his situation.
The Dan, angriest hero there is.
"I have a last name you know- And who is talking anyway?" Dan had each of hands resting over both hips to look around.
Nathan Drake, fortune hunter and historian extraordinaire.
"I still don't know who Daring Do is supposed to be," Nate questioned with a raised eyebrow.
And Phoenix Wright, the first Avenger.
"That's copyright infringement! But we do need a team name..." Phoenix rubbed his chin in thought.
Humans, Assemble!
"You are not helping Pinkie Pie!"
My point exactly.
4470096
Apologies.
I meant with your story.
4470146
You want me to rant some more? Fine, but it'll be about all of us instead of just you and I. Alright, I'm going to make this short and simple just like turning bread into toast before smothering it with 'I can't believe it's not butter butter'. Why are we writing My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fictions, even though the show itself is meant to be for little girls? I actually know the answer as to why boys, if not men, like it so much. However, I would like to see what you have to say about why we write about ponies when we should be writing something completely original that doesn't involve someone else's idea but our own.
4470175
Uh... I'm not ranting or wishing for you as well good author. I was using a Family Guy reference for Peter.
When I meant for you to "go on" was for you to continue writing your story as you see fit.
4470193
What episode? It's been forever since I watched Family Guy.
4470200
I can't remember the episode, but it's kinda a meme...
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnkco1SGNS1qafrh6.jpg
4470207
Looks like an older episode
Calling now: Blood Bone is actually a loyal servant of Nightmare Moon, possibly from her original rebellion 1000 years ago, and he has been building an army of fanatically-loyal blood-sucking super-ponies specially for her.
Don't ask me how I know this, because I will explain it and I won't use bullet points.
Also calling: Daniel will eventually bang/be banged by one or more Succupoines, Arachniponies, Vamponies, and Seaponies. Odds of impregnation are about what you expect.
You know I wonder if he got resistance to the bite only because Nightmare was inside of him or because he has some secrets that not even him know
How many factions are involved now? I'm hoping our human friend joins with the sun. Gotta praise THE mother fucking sun!
4472061
Then he will join our brothers in J-J-JOLLY COOPERATION!!!
4472233 dash.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/139966796733.png
ih3.redbubble.net/image.13239372.0269/fc,550x550,gold.u1.jpg
Be the bro Solaire knew you could be, Daniel.
GOOD
ts3.mm.bing.net/th?&id=HN.608011681016515362&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0
BETTER
ts3.mm.bing.net/th?&id=HN.608033061363911952&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0
BEST
ts2.mm.bing.net/th?&id=HN.608019669648280982&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0
4472779
hahahaha, someone's on to me.
4472832 favorite manga....ever
4472841
Eh, I've only seen the anime (both seasons). If I read anything that is in a form of a book it has to be about history. I've never held a manga before.
4472061
Factions you ask? Well, I don't want to spoil it, but will for anyone who's a fan of Dark Souls (Why'd they have to leave out Solaire in Dark Souls 2).
Factions you now know if you've read the story carefully:
Solar Guards
Lunar Guards
Cataphracts
Changelings (soldiers that is)
Valkyries
Equestrian Sorceresses
Vamponies
Succuponies
?????
?????
?????
?????
?????
?????
There are and will be a lot of military factions in this story. The one's with question marks are the other factions that are yet to be revealed (the number of factions will probably continue to grow)
4472911 ...........*inhale* wow
4472950 Soulire was to boss for Dark souls 2( and the passage of thousand of years don't help.)
I am curious of how some of his relationships grows, and how they will affect these factions. Particularly that of big sexy( gotta prise that sun) moon pie, and if ever my queen. Childishly hoping for mini cellys, as well.
If Dark Souls has taught me anything is: patience, Great shields, and sunlight spears are the keys to life and happiness.
4473002
Dark Souls taught me that Skyrim is for kids.
4473027 aye. Holds true for many ah game now.
4473317
Get a hold of yourself *SLAPS FACE*
The only reason I would expect you to say that is because Daniel is 'immune' to vampony bites, and doesn't become their thrall. Well, all I have to say to that is I gave a reason why that is, the reason isn't straightforward, but I did give a reason. If there's another reason why you think that way then please tell me, because if anything I would've expected someone to say what you said in the next chapter where a lot of questions get answered, and Daniel plays hero for the first time.
4474029 cool
I loved it all it was awesome beyond awesome and Crimson Mist and her mom should awesome.I can't wait to see what happens next between them all and what happens next to them all.This is awesome beyond awesome so far and I can't wait to see what happens next to them all and between them.
4473027 too true