• Published 27th Dec 2012
  • 662 Views, 44 Comments

Putting on a Brave Face or The Masks we Wear - TheCloudtop



When somepony loses everything they thought they knew, it is very hard to start over. For Trixie, it will be a long, arduous road. For Glimmering Shadow, he has not even started down the path of recovery yet.

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Prologue: The Opening Act

Trixie, the great and powerful. Huh, what a laugh. Here I am, in a meadow. Loneliness, sadness, anger, resentment. So many emotions fill my heart these days, it is hard to keep them all straight. I go from one place to the next, hoping to find something to eat and a warm place to sleep. The bits I had from my days as a traveling magician are long gone, and I haven’t had what could be called a decent meal in months.

Why… Why did those ponies resent me so much? None of the other towns that I performed in reacted that way. It wasn’t my fault those two stupid colts decided to bring an Ursa Minor into town. Yes I over-exaggerated a little, but that is just part of my show. Or was, anyway. Why couldn’t they see that it was just an act? Did they really believe that I’m as prideful as I acted? I guess they must have, seeing how they reacted to me. It was only those few mares though; the rest of the town didn’t seem to have a problem with me, or my character. The rest of the ponies actually seemed to enjoy it.

Oh, what does it matter now, anyways? Even if I had answers to any of those questions, it wouldn’t change anything. I am still homeless, jobless, and starving, all thanks to blubbering idiots from Ponyville. No town I go to will give me the time of day! They all think I was the one responsible for what happened in Ponyville.

So, here I am, in a meadow. What in the name of ponies am I even doing here? I am far from any town or possible shelter. I guess I can thank my horn for this. This isn’t the first time I went somewhere without knowing why. Funny, come to think of it, it was my horn that led me to Ponyville in the first place. Normally, my horn leads me to good fortune. So why did my horn lead me to Ponyville? Why has it led me here, to this meadow? Well, I’ll find out, one way or the other. Hopefully, it brought me here for a better reason than it did in Ponyville. Not that I have figured that one out yet.

______________________________________________________________________________

“The stars look lovely tonight. Don’t you think Moonie?”

I turn to my right and stare at the empty space beside me, with nothing but air and grass occupying that space.

“Yeah, they’re really bright tonight. Have you ever seen them like this?”

There was no response... but I heard one ever so clearly.

“Oh yeah! I remember that! Now that was a wonderful evening.”

Who am I kidding? I’m having a one-sided conversation with myself. All the while I’m expecting a missing body to answer me back... oh how I miss Moon Song. She was the brightest star in my sky, the center of my universe, my whole world! Guess I can’t blame her though, I mean, manticores are pretty rough on ponies.

I still can’t believe its been four months since she died... four months of staying strong in front of everypony else. I was not the only one who was emotionally shattered by her death though. I have spent so much time comforting her family, I may as well be a part of it! That was the plan after all; granted it was awhile longer off, but we were heading there all the same. But then came that… incident, and now everything is upside down. I’ve had to be strong for so many of the other ponies in my village, so I haven’t even had a chance to think about her as much as I want to. I can’t think about her, not now. The moment I start, I know I’ll be of no use to anypony, and where does that leave me?

I have nothing right now. My family chides me for not finding a job outside the village; I’m the only psychologist we have in town and ponies have been coming at about two a day for the past... three months or so.

Glimmering Shadow: a name I’ve made synonymous with comfort and strength. My talent is listening to the problems of others, empathizing with them, giving them advice or some words of comfort, and somehow they end up feeling better. How that got me a cutie mark, I’ll never know... but at least it has provided me with a job I know is useful and can bring in bits.

Quite a while ago, I thought it was the most useless talent a pony could be saddled with. I remember wishing my talent was something else, like maybe construction or baking, because our village has been in need of some renovations or a bakery. Moon thought that those were silly... and that my talent was useful, and in more ways than one.

Her…

This meadow was the place we first met. This was where we played together, grew together, and ultimately fell in love. I remember all the days we spent as foals, romping around and chasing the butterflies. We would even have fun with our imaginations, playing with ponies and objects that didn’t or would never exist. I remember when our families would get together and we would spend all day just catching fish in the small river that cuts through the village. I remember the nights we would sit alone together and just look at all the cold, dark sky filled with millions of bright, warm stars. We wouldn’t say anything, just revel in the silence, the sky, and each other’s company.

She was the one. She was my confidant; the only one who would hear me and listen to my problems. When you have a talent like mine, it’s hard not to feel forgotten at times. I’ve always poured out my heart when other ponies have come for my aid, though they probably wouldn’t extend the same kindness to me. Moon was the only one who truly put me first; she was the only one who always made sure I was fine before she asked for my help. It’s what made her so special... what makes her passing so hard for me.

I have nopony to talk to now. I can never really talk to my family and friends, who say they feel for my loss, but I doubt they truly mean it. All these years and nopony aside from her has given a flying feather as to what “The Comforter” may be going through! However, I know I can’t hold it against them; it’s not like I’ve been completely open to everypony that walks through my door. And I know they have good reason to worry about their own problems.

I’ve spoken to so many ponies I’m surprised they still have even more secrets than what I’ve already heard. How there is so much strife in our small village? I don’t honestly know. What I do know is that she was the one thing that kept me going. Without her, I’m afraid all this strife is going to get to me. I don’t want that to happen; I don’t want life to change me.


But as I stare up at the stars...our stars, I can’t help but feel the weight in my heart. Luna’s moon looks spectacular tonight, that was always her favorite thing to look at. And it very well should have been; the way she’d go on about it you would think she was the Princess herself. She wrote songs about it, did studies on it, always found a way to focus its beauty into everything and everypony she saw. She was truly the gem of our small village, and I doubt anypony else could ever fill the hole she left. Especially the hole I feel now, in my heart.

“I miss you Moon Song…dear Celestia, how I miss you!”

I can’t let it happen: I can’t let myself go. I have to stay strong for everypony else! We’re all in pieces over this and somepony has to pick them up... at the moment, it looks like that somepony is me. But then I have to ask myself: Who’s going to pick up my pieces? Before I can ponder more on this topic, I hear something coming down the road.

The noise surprises me. I’ve never heard it that much before, not here in the meadow anyway. There’s no mistaking it, it’s the sound of a cart. Nopony ever comes here; they’re all terrified of us. Even though most of our people who venture outside are with the esteemed Lunar Guard, the general populace still can’t help but shudder at the thought of us bat-ponies. The thought of our dark, leathery wings, strange ears, and sharp fangs sends chills down their spines. Despite the fact these are merely aesthetics to our appearance, they can’t help but fear us. That’s why my talent is so useless outside my village: nopony in their right mind would ever talk to a bat-pony. Finding work outside the Lunar Guard is rare; that’s why they hardly ever see us. So why is somepony actually coming this way?


We are far off the beaten path: you have to go miles out of your way just to reach the meadow, and that’s a few miles outside of our village. Nopony ever comes here.. not even our own kind! (They rarely find the opportunity to come back and visit aside from the holidays.) As the cart comes into view I can see the strange visitor: a unicorn with flashy garb. Perfect, just perfect.

I have no idea who this pony could possibly be, but one thing I do know for sure is this: I’m in no mood to be harassed by some arrogant, prejudiced, ‘Oh no, a bat pony!’ unicorn! From the look of her outfit and the quality of that cart, I’d guess she was originally from Canterlot. Definitely don’t want to run into her now. I’ve heard so many stories about how hard it is to make a living there, just from when I’ve talked to my brothers during Hearth’s Warming. Even though they made it into the Lunar Guard they still can’t seem to catch a break with the civilians. Hopefully she’ll just turn around and leave.

But…she does look rather tired, now that I think about it. And she is far off the beaten path. Why is she here anyway? What reason could a unicorn, possibly from Canterlot, have for coming out here to the “sticks?” I don’t know why she’s here, but now I can’t stop thinking about it! When I was younger I was always getting into trouble with Moon Song; we’d poke our muzzles into everything. Luckily, nopony really minds so much anymore since I started using my talent; in fact, now they like it when I get involved with their business.

I just can’t get rid of this curiosity! But have no idea why she’s here or what her intentions are. Maybe she’s one of those crazed ponies who go on killing-sprees or something!

“Really Glimmer... A serial killer?”

“Shut up, Moon Song! I’m thinking here! And you know how much I hate it when you use that name!” Am I really having this conversation with my dead fillyfriend? Out loud? Damn... I must be worse off than I originally thought.

“But that’s what makes it so fun!” she replied in a rather giddy manner.

“Fine then, two can play at that game…”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Yes I would." I replied in a sing-song tone.

“No you won’t!” she replied rather quickly.

“Okay, okay, geez. No need to get so worked up over a name... Moonie.”

I heard her mumbling a tad before she started up again. “Gah! Fine. But are you really that suspicious? You haven’t even met her.”

“She’s a unicorn from Canterlot. You’ve heard the stories, you know what they’re like.”

“Yeah, but have you ever met a unicorn; much less any pony at all?”

“No, but that’s not the point! I see a strange mare making her way towards our meadow and I don’t like it!”

“Oh, you shouldn’t have said ‘our.’ Now you have to let her come. I insist. Flap, flap, no talk back!”

“Now that’s not fair. You’re not even here any-” I throw my hoof over my mouth before I finish that horrible sentence.

“PAHAHAHA! Don’t worry about it Starshine, I don’t mind. I’m just asking you to find out more about her instead of jumping to these conclusions. Besides, if she really is a judgmental unicorn from Canterlot, shouldn’t you be the bigger pony and hear her out?”

Another reason why I miss Moon Song: she was always helping me to be a better friend and a kinder stallion. I wouldn’t have even gotten my cutie mark if she wasn’t there.

“Okay, okay. You got me. I’ll give her the benefit of a doubt before I make my final judgment. Happy now?” I couldn’t help but laugh through those last words.

“That’s all I needed to hear. Goodnight my Starshine, I love you.”

“Good night my Moonlight,” it’s been so long since I’ve said it, “I love you too.”

I don’t know what just happened; she sounded so real, almost like she was beside me the whole time. But I do know she’ll probably be back to haunt me if I don’t do as she asks. Even in death she knows how to push my buttons! The mystery mare is still a long ways off, but she’s definitely making her way towards the meadow. I fly up to the canopy of the treeline and hide myself. It doesn’t take that long for the mystery mare to finally stop and set up camp in the meadow.

Who are you, unicorn? Why are you here? Most importantly, why have you come to our meadow?

Author's Note:

I am so glad to finally have the first part of this done! As always, a big thank you goes out to my editor, mbrsart, whom without my writing would illegible. Also, thank the Lord for InsanityCorps, for picking up where my previous author left off. This would not ne possible without either of you!

Comments ( 44 )

Manly tears are being shed... More soon please.

1863058 Glad you like it.

Hmm, interesting. Another helping please

1863556 Wow you read fast. Glad that you like it. Anything that you did not like?

Review Time and you can't escape it!

The Story: A story with character development for Trixie and tons of flashbacks, seems good to me!

Grade

Well to sum it up I can't really grade character dialogue due too fact that it has original characters involved but perhaps if I may have details on inspiration for the original character in question I may be able to grade that, the plot is a small quite village, I always would have loved to live in a small quite village but in today's modern world it's nearly impossible, I can't predict the story but then again it's been so hard to lately, perhaps due to fact that writing quality increases the more you write, and the story's plot seems awesome as I already mentioned.

So far 10 mustaches until I spot anything wrong with the story's future, also if you like adventure games you should watch the anime I'm posting in my next blog post, it's amazing :twilightsmile:


Take your mustaches

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Continue writing good or the grade shall decrease I'm afraid, I'll keep updates flowing in like a steady river however :yay:

1863569 Thanks for the feedback!:pinkiehappy:

Came for bat ponies. Stayed for the plot.

1863726 Glad to hear that you like it.

Oh, my God, that was sad! Sad as in good! Not sad as in... never mind. I cried, that's what I mean, and even My Little Dashie didn't make me cry. While this this started I cried, most likely because it reminds me of old memories, but it has some GREAT writing! You and Insanity make a great team! And, if I may, even better than you and I!

Interesting. Trixie coming across a village of bat-ponies. I will keep an eye on this one.

1870852 I am glad that we have caught your attention.

1863781 Wow... It actually made you cry? I am glad we were able to invoke such emotions through our writing.

Okay, I finally got around to taking a look at this. I'll get the criticism out of the way first:
There are a few rather minor technical issues. Some of narration, especially in Trixie's section borders a bit her just stating how she feels rather than acting in accordance with that, but it's not too pervasive, so it isn't a major issue. Still, it wouldn't hurt to go through and weed out some of the more blatant stuff. Like the bit where Trixie goes and lists all the feelings she has. I.e. instead of adding Loneliness to the list, stick a bit into the narration that demonstrates that she's lonely. Like just stick "or even had a real conversation with anypony" in after "decent meal". There are also a few points where the tense shifts (like in the first paragraph, Trixie jumps between past and present tense), so you need to pick one and stick with it.
The one thing you might want to look into fixing though is the jump in character POV between the two sections. When you switch over to Glimmer, there's no indication that the narration isn't still following Trixie; it isn't until Glimmer states his name that I was aware that it was a different character. Naturally, that made it a bit confusing when she starts talking about how he's a psychologist and whatnot. It's nothing big, but you might want to clarify who the speaker is earlier on. The other thing is that you also might want to clarify that Glimmer is male; I didn't realize that he was until he actually states that he's a stallion.

But on to the good parts. One of the most important elements of writing a story is defining the characters, and you nailed that. The first bit gives a nice insight into Trixie's head. You did a good job of showing some inner conflict there, as well as setting up motivation for her down the road. She has a sense of something that she wants to accomplish or something she wants to escape from; it gives you material to work with.

Same deal with Glimmer; you do a good job of developing him and giving him a backstory that gives him a motivation as well. There's also a solid chunk of development for Moon Song, which gives him someone to play off of. It's quite interesting to see their back-and-forth; it gives the reader a lot of insight into both of them.

In short, you have two well-developed characters who are about to crash into each other, and I'm really interested to see what happens when they meet.

1874256 What can I do to fix the character POV?

1881752 Nothing major, just when you switch to Glimmer, make it more clear that the narrator isn't Trixie. Just have him mention his name (or even his gender) earlier in the narration.

1881876 Okay. I will do that. Thanks again for all the feedback!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

I liked... but didn't read. *Fades into background* or maybe I was never here to begin with. :trixieshiftright:

1932386 LOL. Well, if you ever are here for real, please give it a read.:pinkiesmile::rainbowwild:

1932704
A man runs upto you in a street, points a gun at you, hands you a laptop, and orders you to read his story.
What do?

Edit: >Rape :pinkiecrazy: He didn't even know what hit him. :ajsmug:

1932791 Lemons and apples and grapes, oh my!

1932804 Uhhhhhhh...... Kiwis?

1932810 Why you no like Kiwis?:trixieshiftright:

1932816
I used to hate Kiwis :fluttershyouch: after all they are the ones responsible for the death of my parents :fluttercry:
...
I'm not Batman :ajbemused: *Disappears* or am I?

1932834 :rainbowderp:Batman eh? Meh, Spider-Man is better.:trollestia:

1932840
:rainbowderp: Spiderman eh? Meh, Deadpool is better. :trollestia:

1932860 Forgive me in advance, but who is Deadpool? Go ahead and rage at me, I can take it.

1932863
I'm going to hunt you down, and tickle you teh Le death :pinkiecrazy:
Deadpool is basically Pinkie Pie but with Katanas and machine guns :flutterrage:
and he wears spandex.

1932888 Okay, so he is a superhero, with all of best ponies crazy randomness? Sign me up!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Half of those images failed to come up. The ones that did, well................. I APPROVE!

1932932
They're all working for me. :fluttercry:
Which one was it?! it was the one with the Erotic novels wasn't it! :flutterrage:

2547499
Oh, a brohoof. :moustache:
How original of you. :trollestia:

2549747

Looks like that is

*puts on sunglasses*

Saiyan something

2550866
What are you inSayan? :pinkiegasp:

Oh yes I'm interested in this one. More please!

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