Amnesia

by CaramelSwirls

Author's Note

Hi everyone! This was my first fanfiction! Thank you to everyone who read it and enjoyed it! I loved all the fun comments at the bottom that people have posted! You really made my first fanfiction an enjoyable experience!

If you want to see future works please follow me :D

Also, I'd appreciate any criticism on how to improve my writing or fanfictions :D Or give me criticism on anything you'd like :D I want to know what all you readers think ^.^

I hope to see you all for my next story and I hope you all enjoyed ^.^

Comments

[CaramelSwirls]

1779768
Haha tomorrow in class I can show u the notepad that had the killer the whole time so you know I wasn't choosing Fluttershy to spite you :p I did leave her in the final two for you though :p

[CaramelSwirls]

1785360
Thank you :D I'm glad you enjoyed it ^.^

[Zelda Spectrum]

Excellent work! Now for my review...
Pros:
- Mane 6 are in character
- First Person perspective pulled of quite nicely
- Keeps you guessing
- Plot develops over time to help with tension build-up
- Bone-chilling
- Twist Ending
- Excellent grammar and spelling

Cons:
- Story pace seemed a little too fast
- Character's past was a little vague
- Explanation on Fluttershy surviving the injection was not given

Overall, this was a great first fanfiction! Keep up the great work CaramelSwirls, I can't wait to see the stories you have planned!!
My Rating: 8/10 Derpys Excellent Work

[Shadowflame]

That.... was.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Unexpected.

Still, you are a great writer. Keep it up!

[CaramelSwirls]

1799293
Thank you for the criticism! :) I'll be sure to try and slow down the next story :)
And sorry if it was vague...She never really did remember everything >.< I tried having Fluttershy explain her memories when she was talking to Caramel but I guess that was vague haha
And she didn't survive! I guess I need to work on making things more clear. I'm not the biggest fan of stating things haha I like making the reader figure things out :p But at the end the exploding sound and the thing landing on Caramel's back was Fluttershy's insides exploding and her organ landing on Caramel. Fluttershy was mimicking what happened to Applejack and what she said would happen when injected because both of them were injected (hence why I mentioned Fluttershy's face turning red like Applejack's did etc.)
But thank you again for the criticism :) I'll be sure to keep it in mind for my next fic :D

[CaramelSwirls]

1800128
Haha thank you :D And I tried to keep it exciting with a twist ending so I'm glad it worked :p

[Voiceguy]

You may be dead, but you should still know about thing I did.

[Aether Spark]

1802114
good scary story indeed.

[Aether Spark]

1802114
How long ago was she injected and how did she hold off the exploding part for so long? Why did she wait until now to explode?