Just another brony oput here to share my magic wiht the world ;)
(Ok so I like the feedback,but im just putting this out there. Im not much for this kind of thing. This is my first legit fic, so if we could cool it with the harsh "itsterribledieinaholewhileIfap" XD
Anyways. for now I wont have much time to make more chapters, I will try to heed some of this advice and put alittle more into it. And i can agree with the gay guys thing. Life is much better with gay guys ;)
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Too mashed up needs to be spaced more.
1685616>>1685855 Not enough gay men needs to be improved more.
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/18489_292370084213170_1012384580_n.jpg
Ah there we go.
1685968
Tempt not my ability to bring forth mass amounts of borderline gay pornography, Regidar; I too wield the powers of the internet.
1686179 Bring it.
Cute guys.
...Well...This was pretty much my reaction to the description
I know that the authors profile is dead and considering how long ago the previous commenter last commented this story is pretty much dead, so putting this up is kinda useless, but maybe someone will come across it.
I agree with TheDarkestOcean, it is horribly mashed up but your description is more likely to turn people away from this than attract them to it. If you want to become an author that is not a laughing stock, avoid descriptions like that.