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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well played with the stolen voices tho i still hope ypur not fully going with a instant forgiveness no problem with forgiveness happening just fell it should take a long ass time they screwed up so bad
8979271
Oh it's gonna be FAR from instant
8979280
Cool like i said before the only real problem i had with the old was i felt dimmed star was to instantly forgiving of them
8979285
I hope what I have planned will meet your expectations
8979289
Looking forward to it. Also is dimmed star going to like progress in power like the game her powers are from.(i think any way i know their is a game with similar powers but never played it)
8979310
Her power's aren't from a game, the one you're thinking of is The Darkness, at least as far as I know that's not where her power was inspired. The whole serpent thing always gets people caught up on that lol. There are some aspects about her that I have added, though to give her character a few more interesting tweaks, but I can't openly say whether or not she will get stronger, you'll just have to wait and see
8979316
Ok and yeah good to know their not from their never played the game myself so i had no real backing out side the shadow snakes that i saw from a fraction a play through i never fully watched
Uuuh, is that a new chapter I see ;3
Hang on a second and I'll nitpick it with care, and poke some fun of it too
8979352
By all means
Well, the initial outburst is over, but how will Twilight now handle her new abilities?
Que the RD "dun dun duuuun"
cough before she could kill you, just admit it cough
Whaaat!? Pffft. Who said that!?
Nah, I guess she just found a gray hair from her mane
Because Celestia sure didn't. She just looked after her like, years while she studied under her wing I feel a teeny tiny plot hole there
Uuh... did you delete a sentence from there or... Anyways, there's atleast an extra capital. And I feel like the how is supposed to be "way" But meh...
Rushed in front of them
Maybe, possibly, that might actually be correct as it is. Like, now that I think about it afterwards
Yaaaay!
No wait...
HAAAHAHAHAHA
Bad for you
peopleponies, good for us, the readersABORT, ABORT!
I wanted to get the tf2 Spy's voice line here, but I couldn't find a proper one
Oh yes, because your Queen, empowered by strong love I remind you, stood no chance, I'm sure you'll be great help
To be fair to Chryssi, she was attacked from behind with no chance to defend herself, I give her that
I just imagined a changeling jackhammer... why...
Haha, I read "with a faint light of NOPE"
Missing capital at the beginning. Also The Entity, I guess, if it's that thing's name, otherwise, no capital required
Ew
Ew
Ew
Cool tho
Nopony
scythelike
"Buck this shit I'm out"
Just to take that out of context
"I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going''
looked at her
Rather "Look at me Twilight, not them"
You tried. You failed, but you tried.
scythelike
Never say never
No need for that 's there
Idiots. Just idiots, they saw what happened to Chryssi. Idiots.
Stop right there criminal scum!
"stopped" works better
Clever Celestia. What gave it away, the rising from the puddle, screaming her name or maybe the eyes?
"snarled" and "remained" work better here
Coooool, coooool
"Since we're not related it'll be ok"
We don't need Celestia, we have Pinkamena, she'll beat the crap out of... Not-Twilight
Que "Royal Problem" scene
NO! YOU DO NOT BECOME GOOD AGAIN!!!
NOOOOOOOOO
By all means, please do come back, so that Twilight can get mad again
Damnit... And I had so much fun with her. Oh well, I guess all fun ends. For now I would believe...
Also yes, I accidentally published this comment while it was unfinished (gee, thanks phone) but I hope too many people didn't see that
8979510
Well, that turned out to be a long one...
For your sake, don't. For our amusement, do!
Alright then, Chrysalis. We'll see you again soon.
Well, lesson learned everypony! Other than using varnish or shellac to treat the library floors I foresee no other problems that could possibly arise from the events here. Except for Spike’s reaction when he sees what has happened to his mother/sister...you know what never mind, prep the bunker.
Cool.
Cool.
Ah, so you're gonna take things a bit slower this time around. I can respect that. It's all about that build up and pay off after all (well for me it's character development but you know what I mean).
Awesome thanks! Nice work with the recorded voices. I wonder if Hasbro is aware of that little hole in their plot, I mean all that emotional drama in lesson zero, ending with them making regretful apologies for not taking Twilight's worries seriously and promising to never do it again, and what do they do? They are all so star struck they completely ignore her again, not making sense here. Nice work with having DS work her tendrils through the holes in Chrysalis legs, have always wondered what they are for. If she thinks it will be easy to try again she has another thing coming. This is no longer good vs evil, this is evil vs evil now, and Dimmed star is even more visious then she is, and she does not have the restriction of needing to keep her victims alive in order to feed on them. I can't wait for more, hope the girls get an eyeful of Twilight's new diet soon(flesh and blood make a good breakfast)
This is a fantastic story. Im very curious to see just where your going to take us from here.
The Monk
8979510
By Celestia's plot you weren't kidding
But Still, I love all the feedback! You are awesome!
8979733
Character Development is definitely gonna be a big thing here
8980016
Thank you so much!
8980088
Haha, of course I didn't joke about that
struggled to her feet
What, does she have feet or hooves? Does Cadance have feet for some inexplicible reason? XD
8980781
Crap! Gotta fix that when I get a chance xD
8980781
Where is that at? I can't find it
8980855
Meets cadence for the first time down in the caves.
8981333
Thanks! and Fixed
Nope.
8986674
What? what's wrong?
8986674
If you don't like the story or something about it, you could at the very least give a good reason why, rather than a single comment with no context.
8987501
My more polite way of saying I'm not for it anymore because of that last chapter, about midday. If she really was an Equinox bud then she wouldn't be doing any forgiving and out the wazoo at that.
8988017
Its not going to be an instant forgiveness troupe. Just because her heart wants one thing, doesn't mean she isn't going to do something else to preserve her own safety. Plus I state quite clearly in the summary for this story that Dimmed is going to be a bit out of character, you had the forewarning and chose to read it anyways. Now you get to a part where this warning shows and you decide to jump ship?
Let me spell it out a bit better than if the summary's warning wasn't enough. Dimmed Star is going to be a sort of Anti-Hero! Yes there will be blood, gore and other demented goodies, but there will also be some FORGIVENESS, a bit of slice of life, adventure to an extent, and possibly even some Fluffy romance among ANY and ALL Characters in this Story.
I appreciate that you took the time to give my story a chance, but I'm disappointed that you only gave it up to a part of the main character's personality that you didn't like, but were clearly warned about prior to reading.
My biggest regret this chapter is seeing Chrissy leave alive.
Oh, and the whole 'mane six' term being used.
9092650
Don't worry, I'm still writing this story so there is much more to come. As for the term of ' Mane six' Nevermind about posting any quotes with it, I'm gonna read through each chapter and replace it.
Do you think calling them collectively as, The Bearers, or just Bearers would break your immersion?
It always struck me as strange that things played out the way they did during the Canterlot wedding, especially after that heart wrenching scene in lesson zero, where they all promised full heartedly to never dismiss her worries again. Did the producers do that on purpose? If so, Twilight actually should have been royaly pissed for being dismissed again, and this time to something that really was serious, and the fact that only Applejack had the heart to apologies for the repeat misdeed was also highly aggravating.
9782256
How do you like the remaster?
9782256
Simple, nobody's perfect.
You can say you'll never do something ever again but there's no chance you'll never do it again. the situation was confusing and everyone found her accusations a little absurd. this shows all about making mistakes and learning from them, some mistakes will happen again regardless, if anything this episode was realistic.
Take it from me, a man of many habits.
Ah, Lovely. I like how you handled this story, giving friendship a chance to shine in this bleak story.