Luna's Existential Crisis

by bahatumay

Chapter 4

Luna had stayed up most of the day, awaiting the release of Midnight. To be honest, there's not much that bothers an immortal alicorn, and being sleep-deprived wasn't one of those bothersome things. Midnight, on the other hoof, had slept most of the rest of that time, probably an after-effect of his stressful landing.

What with paperwork, a few final tests, travel time, and miscommunication between the Lunar Princess and the Solar Guard, neither alicorn made it back to the castle before breakfast (or dinner, once again depending on which pony was asked). Low on formality, the two merely entered the dining room unannounced, sending servants scurrying for tableware and food. Luna greeted all with a gentle smile, while Midnight looked around and stared, trying to take in all he could of this wonderful place. And one of the things he had to take in was another, larger, white alicorn, who had frozen with her fork halfway to her mouth.

Princess Luna had seen her sister in many states; among them tired, frustrated, exuberant, and surprised; but one she had not seen before until now was pure shock. Celestia even dropped her fork from her magic, so great was her shock.

For a fleeting moment, Luna was worried that Celestia had been awestruck by Midnight's beauty as well, but her eyes... they were not wide and dilated with excitement, but small and fearful, as if something unexpected had happened. It was but a split second, though, before Celestia's expression was its normal, graceful self; leaving Luna to wonder if she had even seen anything at all.

"Welcome, Luna," she said, picking up her fork gracefully as if nothing had happened. "I was afraid I wouldn't see you this evening."

“Have I ever missed breakfast?” Luna playfully retorted. She turned to Midnight and held out a hoof in introduction. “Sister, this is Midnight. He is the pony I mentioned I was bringing here.”

If there was one thing Celestia had obtained from years of governing, it was the ability to hold a good poker face. “Good evening, Midnight,” she said, giving him a gentle nod.

Midnight returned the gesture, smiling hesitantly.

Luna turned to one of the servants. “Set a place for him next to me.”

If the servant was surprised by such an unusual request, she didn't show it. She merely nodded and returned to the kitchen.

Luna slid into her seat and gestured for Midnight to sit as well. He watched Luna sit before hesitantly copying her movements.

“This is... nice,” he said, bouncing once as he enjoyed the comfortable seat.

“Have you never had such a seat before?” Luna asked playfully.

Midnight shook his head. “Never. Or if I did, I don't remember it.”

Luna glanced over to Celestia, gauging her reaction, but for some reason, she didn't look surprised. If anything, there had been a tiny nod, as if confirming something she already knew.

Her musings were ended when the servant returned, bearing two full plates of food. He set them gracefully down in front of the two. Luna looked down, and her eyes widened.

It was quiche. Of all the things that could have been served this morning, it had been quiche. Luna could not suppress a snort, then a giggle, and then a full-blown laugh that sent her rocking back and forth as she tried to recompose herself.

“Why is that funny? Is quiche funny?” Midnight leaned over and sniffed it cautiously before giving it a gentle lick. “It tastes ok,” he said hesitantly.

“No... It is nothing,” Luna said as she composed herself and lifted her fork. “Never mind.”

“It is tasty nothing,” Midnight said quietly to himself, licking his lips. He then looked around at the two alicorns, both of which were using magic to use their cutlery.

“How do I...” His voice trailed off, embarrassed. Apparently, this was something easy for them, and he was just confused.

Luna picked up on his intention, and was surprised. “You have never used magic before?”

“If I have, I don't remember,” he answered truthfully.

Celestia saw one of the Solar Guards roll his eyes. Unicorns would more likely forget how to walk than how to use magic.

“Then I will teach you,” Luna said gently. She scooted over and placed her horn against his. Her horn glowed with a gentle light.

Midnight giggled. “That feels funny,” he protested.

“Shh,” Luna said. “Just feel the magic flow.” And just as Celestia had done for her so many, many years ago, she helped him draw up the magic from deep inside him. His horn also began to glow, a cobalt blue that was almost divine to see.

She backed off, but his horn continued to glow. “Now, just try to pick up that fork,” she said.

“The pointy one, right?” he asked.

“...Yes. The one with three points.” Luna glanced down at the long row of seven utensils lined up in front of Celestia, and was silently grateful that breakfast was a more low-key affair with only three.

Midnight closed his eyes and concentrated. A glow faded in around the fork, but it quickly faded out.

“I think something happened,” he said excitedly.

Luna couldn't suppress a smile. He was so innocent.

“Good job,” she said. That is what ponies said nowadays, right? “Try it again.”

Midnight closed his eyes, and the glow came again. One end of the fork wiggled a bit.

“Draw more power,” Luna gently instructed, looking more at Midnight than the fork. “Feel the magic flow through your body, and pull it out through your hor-”

Her instructions abruptly cut off as she heard the familiar sound of metal embedding itself in wood. She jumped out of her seat and onto the table, lighting her own horn as she looked around through narrowed eyes for the attacker.

However, the guards were not looking for an attacker, and neither was her sister. Instead, they were all looking up. Luna noticed this, and quickly looked up as well.

Midnight's fork lay buried up to the handle in the ceiling, quivering ever so slightly.

“Oh,” she said softly. The ceiling was many stories high, and the wood was of the strongest oak and had stood since her return. If he was able to drive a fork in that...

“I did it!” Midnight's face was the picture of youthful exuberance. “I did it! I lifted the fork! Did you see that, Luna?”

“I... I did,” Luna answered slowly. What kind of pony couldn't remember how to use magic but had so much of it? This made no sense.

Celestia pushed herself back from the table. “I'm afraid I have a few more evening petitions,” she said by way of excuse, “but Midnight, please consider yourself an honored guest in the castle.”

Midnight smiled gratefully. “Thank you, your highness.”

When Celestia had left, Midnight leaned over to Luna, who was still processing the fork incident. “I don't know her name,” he confessed sheepishly.

Luna cracked a smile and turned her attention from the fork. “Fear not. There is much I can teach you.”

* * *

A few days later, Stone trotted down the hallway in full armor, ready to arrive at his station. One of the rules of the castle was a guard may not leave his or her post until their replacement is ready and in position. This was, of course, a procedure of common sense; but it was still drilled into the recruits' heads from day one. Today, Stone had gotten to work early, and had drawn the shift guarding Princess Luna's personal chambers. Not the easiest, and certainly not the most entertaining shift later into the Night; but there were much worse shifts, and he figured G wouldn't be too annoyed. The one day he had accidentally drawn the cleaning shift? She had expressed her anger by regaling him the entire night with graphic descriptions of her last estrus cycle. He remembered that as if it had been yesterday.

Which, incidentally, it had been.

Shuddering briefly at that horrific memory that would probably never leave his mind, Stone walked up to the Solar Guard he was to replace. Although the masking enchantments embedded in their armor made them all look alike, it was impossible to hide incriminating mannerisms; and the stallion quickly identified this pegasus as one of the Kicker clan, known for coming from a long line of guardsponies and demonstrating professionalism above all else.

So it came as a mild shock when he smiled gratefully and gruffly said, “Good luck,” before he turned and walked away.

Still holding his position, Stone turned to the other guard. “What was that about?”

The Solar Guard didn't say anything.

Stone rolled his eyes, but remained at attention. As a general observation, Solar guards didn't seem to have much of a sense of humor.

“Midnight,” the Solar Guard finally answered.

The Lunar stallion cocked an ear.

“It appears Luna has become infatuated with him.”

“Already?” Stone blinked. “I've heard of love at first sight, but that's ridiculous.” His look of surprise turned slightly devious. “Well, on second thought, it makes sense. Imagine you're a member of a very rare species, and you run into another of your own species of the opposite gender, and I mean, hey, I would. Wouldn't you?”

The Solar Guard glared at Stone impassively.

The Lunar Guard shrugged. “I'll take that as a 'no'. So, you play for the other team, then?”

There was no verbal response, but the glare intensified.

Stone sighed and returned to full attention. Solar guards were just no fun to play with.

A few minutes later, the Solar Guard decided to speak again. “He is important enough that she woke up early to care for him and to show him around.”

Stone scoffed. “Impossible. Her Royal Highness just doesn't 'get up early'. She won't be awake for another two hours, and she won't come out for another...”

His response was interrupted by the doors bursting open, and two alicorns stumbling out. The smaller female was dragging the larger male, and both seemed very excited.

“And you MUST see these gardens. There are flowers from all over Equestria, and it is quite beautiful to behold!”

“They must be something special, if one of your beauty defines them so,” Midnight answered.

Only the strict, heartless training the guards had received allowed them to keep a stoic look on his face at that line. Stone guessed that had the illusionary charm not been there, the younger Solar guard's face would have taken on a greenish tint. As it was, he himself couldn't hide a brief shiver.

Still talking animatedly, Luna dragged him down the hall, telling him all about the gardens.

There was a brief moment of silence, before the Lunar guard broke it. “If I hear anything that sappy again, I am probably going to remove my armor and throw myself out a window. And I'm an earth pony under this fancy getup.”

“Imagine hearing it all day,” a female voice said. The stallion turned to see his partner, dressed in her Lunar armor and ready for duty. G had shown up exactly fifteen seconds before she would have been considered AWOL.

The other Solar Guard nodded thankfully and left, with a spring in his step that certainly wasn't there before.

There was another brief silence. Solar Guards may not like talking at all while on shift, but the Lunar Guard has a different standard of perfection.

“Glad you could make it, G,” Stone said. “Cutting it a little close, though, eh?”

The mare rolled her eyes. “I've been here a while, Stone. You're just too dumb to notice.”

“Riiight....”

“No, seriously. I've been here most of the afternoon, just watching this foal.”

Stone couldn't hide a sly grin. “Funny, you never struck me as a mother figure.” That may have been true, but that still earned him a strike in the helmet with her hoof.

“You know what I meant.”

Stone rolled his eyes. “That doesn't sound stalker-ish at all.”

G huffed. “I don't care. I've been watching him because I don't trust him. It's too convenient.”

Stone didn't say anything—G had begun to rant, and he had long since learned that when that waterfall started, the best (and safest) course of action was to simply let her go, put on an angry face, and nod and grunt in agreement every once in a while.

“Two were enough," she continued. "Then, along came three. And there's another alicorn filly in some school in Trottingham, so that'll be fun, too.”

Stone couldn't help but smirk. That had been an interesting transition. Once Cadence had been officially accepted as Her Royal Highness Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, the Guard was rife with rumors about how there would be a third guard force formed, one that was to guard her and help enhance the love in the city. There were even concept art of the bright white armor that the Love Guards would be wearing, complete with sickeningly sweet little red capes and golden wings on top of their magically pink fur, completed by a red and white striped mane and tail.

Stone knew. He had started most of those rumors.

“And there's another thing,” G said. “Every other alicorn has been female. The castle has records, I looked them up yesterday.” She paused. “And if you make a crack about me reading, I will gut you like a griffon guts a fish.”

That explained how she knew about the new filly from Trottingham. Stone tried to make his face look as innocent as possible. The thing about her threats was, he wasn't entirely sure when she was serious and when she wasn't. Also, she knew exactly where he lived and what time he slept.

Well, to be perfectly honest, when every single guard lives in an underground bunker because you've faked your death to join the Lunar Guard, you tend to know your neighbors really well. But that was an irrelevant tangent.

Stone pulled himself back to listen to G's rant, which was still going strong. “There are records of their birth, their growth, a notice if they accepted royalty or not; these ponies are tracked from birth to death. If the alicorn so much as sneezes, they write it down.”

“They can not accept royalty?” Stone asked in surprise. Alicorns were royalty. Everypony knew that.

G rolled her eyes, annoyed that her rant was interrupted by her partner's ignorance. “Birth alicorns can refuse royalty and remain members of the general population. Four of the sixteen birth alicorns in the last three centuries refused. Truth be told, most ended up in Las Pegasus as actors or in sideshows, but still. Always females. Then, all of a sudden, this male falls out of the sky. Literally—boom.” She stomped a hoof for emphasis. “Out of the sky. Isn't that just a little bit suspicious to you?”

The stallion nodded his assent. “Oh, more than a little bit.”

“I mean, one male now. The other... oh, seventy-five alicorns on record are all females.”

“That would suck. Even today's male ponies have better odds,” the stallion grinned. This earned him a quick kick to the ribs, and while the enhanced armor did protect him, the mare's enhanced armor boosted her kick, and the two canceled each other out and it stung.

G continued as if she hadn't just inflicted bodily harm. “I don't trust the guy. I don't care what the Princess says. It's weird. He's too smooth. He's too innocent. He's too... good. I don't know. It's too convenient. It's not normal, and it's certainly not natural.”

“And that's your gut feeling?”

The mare nodded.

The stallion exhaled slowly. “You know, G, I feel kindof bad judging him before I know him, but you've never led me wrong before.” He paused, and then his mouth split into a wide grin at yet another memory. “Except for that hot sauce thing, but you kindof got burned by that, too.”

The mare couldn't restrain her mouth twitching in annoyance. “I told you, that was a shipping error!”

The stallion shook his head. “Well, whatever happens, I hope Luna ends up all right.”

The mare rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Or maybe he's poisoning her slowly until she dies. You're a guard. You gotta think of these things.”

Stone opened his mouth to make a disparaging remark about G's sunny and pleasant disposition when, as if on cue, two alicorns flew by the window. Both were laughing happily as they twirled in tandem. Even Stone, though but an earth pony, knew that two ponies who flew like that were more than just platonic friends.

G narrowed her eyes, knowing that a snarky remark was inevitable. And, true to his nature, Stone did not disappoint.

“D'aww...” he cooed. “That's adorable. Well, it seems like she's enjoying herself. I guess he can't be too bad. Unless you think he's poisoning her through laughter?”

His partner glared at him. “You know, Stone, it's kindof funny. You've got a tough name, but you're a sappy little gelding, you know that?”

Stone rolled back his head. “You say that.... but you know you want my body.”

G disproved this statement when she kicked him between his hind legs, dropping him flat on the ground and leaving him writhing in pain. Smirking, she couldn't help but verbally kick him while he was down. “For a force made up of mostly male ponies, you'd think they'd make armor that protects that area a little better.”

“Heh... Totally worth it,” he wheezed.

Author's Note:

Wow, how long since I've updated this?

You know what took forever on this story? That stupid breakfast scene. The Lunar Guard dialogue, on the other hand, was written way back when the Winningverse was first started (hence the Kicker clan reference).

Either way, let's see if I can get this story back on track.

Comments

[Sharon Lougheed]

You must continue this! :) This story is very good. I'm so curious about Midnight... I have dozens of theories bouncing around in my head.