My name is Panda, and I've been travelling throughout Equestria for the past few months trying to find the stallion who made my own survival possible. Rising Knight. Be it by skill or incredible dumb luck, he did something none of us ever even though possible. He escaped the facility. The resulting destruction killed most of the staff, and released the surviving prisoners. Most of them died, but they were scum, the kind of monsters that deserved to be put to death. I was one of the only ones to escape the facility's fall in one piece. Recently, I'd gone to Canterlot, hoping to find some information on him. What I discovered was, curious. Apparently, ponies had been talking about Princess Luna having a son, and that said son was currently residing in Ponyville. I figured it wouldn't hurt to put off my search for a while to check this guy out.
This fic is a collab between me and Ponylover, (BRONY AJ) die all on steam, based on The Knight is Rising, using an OC created by his friend, who goes by Deman on Steam.
I feel like that was a little rushed
1551344 All will be explained in time...
1551398 Ok
just because the name 'Panda' was involved i will read it
Clearshot......we got to work on this SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1623422 Understood sir.
Well, that escalated quickly. I hope that Hollow will survive, and AJ won’t blame Panda when she finds her there
I have to say, I rather like the story’s premise with the facility and whatnot, but I’ll be brutally honest with you, the execution of the story needs work. There’s a plethora of typos, grammar errors, missing capitalisation, and recurring punctuation errors (I can give you a few pointers on how to deal with some of these, if you want.). Coupled with some rather exposition-heavy parts and very fast pacing, I’m afraid that most of the conversations feel unnatural and there’s no palpable atmosphere—in other words, it’s far harder to get readers invested in the story.