Rape, sexism, racism, vile acts and views that humanity looks at with deepest of loathing. But Equestria a magical world inhabited by ponies, have no such issue openly embracing it.
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The bedroom talk could use some improvement.
Other than that, the pacing had slight problems compared to your other chapters. Still a good story though.
Ah goody! You tried this idea again! Cool, favorited for now I'll read it later.
No doubt.
Still, he has been improving. A good chapter.
Keep up the good job, don't stop writing.
wow now 5 lachlan. jesus can't you keep your dick in your pants for a day dude
and another bloddy plot twist might as well call this story a corkscrew with all of these mares suddenly becoming pregnant never saw it coming still funny though
Well.....that escalated quickly
PS: the reason there was barely any response is because were speechless
boom gose the dynamite
Ps finally dude gets powers about fuckin time and thank you for taking time to edit it first man
YOU ARE A GOD MY FINE MAN.
Hmmm... needs more sex. I DEMAND MORE PLEASE!
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You know he can't
DAMMIT!!! How do these pony-kink stories keep FINDING ME!? It ruins the innocence the show portrays for me.
This is disgusting.
And you never just get one from a bug.
yay another chapter and the P-Bomb was dropped and now Lachlan has magic(awesome by the way) all I have to say is
cdn.meme.li/instances/400x/29772017.jpg again
its about time he got some damn powers, I was getting upset that everything in equestrian can beat the shit out of him.
also Lachlan might I suggest the pull out technique?
Whelp... All he needs to do is buck a dragon and he's got an army ready.
love it love all of it keeping them coming this got my seal of approval
Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuun. More drama. More action. More twist and turn.
tune in next time for more
TALES OF INTREST
I'm sorry, but how was this featured? This is just ordinary clop and rape. The description alone has too many spelling mistakes. This is not material that should be on the front page. Plus, I'm tired of all these fics that basically say "Ponyville has a larger female population, therefore all of Equestria does. And because of this, stallions are inherently worse." Just once, I want a story where the genders are divided equally, and neither gender is more powerful. And I got all of this from just the description. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I will not be reading this. It might be the best story ever, but just by the description, I'm going to pass. And I don't want any of this, "But men have had it easier throughout the years, so naturally women should be better in every way," bullshit. I just want to live in a world where everyone is treated equally. In conclusion, the description put me off of this fic completely and it really isn't front page material.
24.media.tumblr.com/0000d678e63697591b6892cacd9d8f87/tumblr_mk0rvxApVU1rwcc6bo1_400.gif
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hehe i love your comment, but i think your misunderstanding what a vast majority of males are thinking when they write things like this, they think they will see more action, more females=more sex! while in real life this is not the case, it most certainly is an entertaining notion
also in the show it is not the case, males and females are roughly equal, it only appears to have more females because the mane 6 are all girls and its made to target little ones
2789766 go to equestria daily if you wanted censoring.
2789844 I never said I wanted censoring.
2789844 I agree with flutterjack, and he didn't anywhere say he wanted censoring, that wasn't the point of his comment at all :s Clop can be good. In fact clop can be spectacular, my favorite story of all time is a clop (Romance Reports) But this really does just sound.. Generic? is that the right word?
2789766 I agree with you, the concepts presented in stories like this are honestly just troubling/disturbing if you really start to think about them. But it's probably best if I don't get into ranting about it, I tend to go overboard.
I will say that Equestria appears to be a mostly happy place at least in a social sense, I don't think gender inequality would be a problem at all except from the occasional individual pony.
I still can't get over the fact that he fights crazy shit but doesn't stick up for himself. Am I the only on that thinks when he nuts up the story just like "OH YEAH SHITS ABOUT TO GET REAL!"
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Wow. I honestly expected to get downvoted to shit for that comment.
2789766 I agree how the fuck did this get featured. I mean what the fuck I did this fic for a laugh and wish fulfilment nothing more? Can people tell me why this is so popular
2789766 Well then you will love my next fic if you are interested please message me I need someone to bounce ideas off of but I seriously plan for my next fic to have and prepare yourself ZERO clop it will be about character development and there will be no sexism or gender inequity
2790148
What would one want more then their wishes fulfilled with a side of comedy?
2789766
I wouldn't go that far but the Ideal is very mind numbing and dull I myself was able to read up to chapter nine.
My issues are as follow
-He strong to the point were he able to beat big mac and take on magic users but lord behold as soon as they grab his dong he insta powerless?
-The idea just loops, New pony,rape,normal sex,New pony etc etc etc
-It plays on the ideals of party boy/sex god everyone want him ordeal. after you see that a few times its become a question of the fan fiction your reading a badfic dress up or what
2790148
I hate to say this but it Liked for very shallow and poor reasons. and if you did it for the sake of laugh and wish fulfillment nothing more. Then there should be no issue when people dislike the story.
But keep in mind there just words from a very jaded person that been on this website longer then I should had
i must say, this guy is the Hugh Hefner of equestria
2790237 I take no offence and I do understand the reason that people would dislike this but whilst it was done for a laugh I have at least tried to include some semblance of plot and the whole strength thing is really only ever displayed when he is in danger. as in chapter 15 it is reveled that he can do magic but I do not plan for him to be powerful he is still human and at most he will be able to do some weak spells like maybe levitation and as shown electricity.
I hope that shattered memories and darker paths will be more pleasing for people as it goes away from the whole sex rape repeat thing but I am unhappy with darker paths and might scrap the story.
I plan to work on my new story "paging Dr death" a fic about the famous and revered hunk from alpha team ending up in equestria. I want to see how my mind plays with the concept of a deadly mercenary and a peaceful land of ponies
2789766 Look I do understand why you didn't like this but I didn't decide that it was front cover material did I. All I did was write a silly fic that got popular and people thumbed it up. if you didn't like it then I did give ample warning as well as clear instructions as to what this was a rape/ clop fic.
By coming onto this to bitch about how it is a rape fic and how it shouldn't have gotten featured you came knowingly that you would get upset to which I say I have little sympathy. So you came purposely knowing that this would offend you. As I said I didn't bribe the people to make this a featured read so please stop bitching about it and merely move on. You don't like it other people do. Whining about it gets us no where.
I am not defending this fic, I am merely saying that I have no patience for those that purposely read something they know they wont like just to have a bitch.
whom ever you're using as an editor. please make them stop. i do like this story. but it is full of missing punctuation's and error's :(
again ´n again
2789862 yeah... sometimes I don't respond to peoples entire point just pieces of it. but honestly HiE clop fics are usually like this except the whole stallions are treated as property because that idea has been done but not like they are slaves and stuff.
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So an insectoid queen is pregnant. Given the reproduction rate of most hive-insects, I can't say I'm surprised. What does surprise me is how long it took. Maybe she was running low, so to speak.
Emotion can give power to those who need it.
Now he can be more than a rag doll and mess some shit up for once.
Glad to see another chapter can't wait for the future.
boy, glad that you had time to put all the mares bullshitting him, tought, you could have done the whole "then molestia felt like breast feeding him"; that would have been hilarious.
Chrysalis revealed she was pregnant for most of the fic, why am I not surprised? Anyway if Lachlan can do magic, then it makes a whole lot of sense as to why magic can affect him now.
Lachlan
On the Outside:
svagonews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/happy-meme_00259165-600x375.png
On the Inside:
memearchive.net/memerial.net/1270/god-dammit.jpg
2789641 he should also throw in a couple griffins
I love this story so much, man
Yeaaaahh... Going to have agree with some of these comments and suggest you either replace Thomas, or you kick his ass into gear. Not to sound picky, but there are tons of grammatical mistakes, misspellings, and so forth.
Don't get me wrong, I really like this story; I don't normally like anthro fics, but this has proven to be oddly arousing (something about being manhandled by huge women, don't even ask). All in all, i'd currently give this 5/5 Applejacks, a thumbs up, and a favorite as i'll be watching this from now on.
damn Chryssy another pregnant mare. congratz Lach, have a cigar.
What had E3 announced? Were we getting another Xbox or not? Was there a halo 5 now? My friend had even suggested that there might be an assassin creed 4. Ha! The mere thought was retarded and I had laughed long and hard at him for that. Hell the chances of that happening is about as likely as it being about a pirate assassin; impossible.
what the hell
Ok, shouldn't he be 20 some years ny now? How is he still 19? And why do I keep imagining himto look like Deidara from Naruto?
WHY ISNT FLUTTERSHY PREGNANT
2804456 or dash