Oh, and sidenote: The mature rating is more a blanket for the language and thoughts involved, as well as for future clop and violence. The fic likely won’t exceed Teen for a while, but there will be Mature portions eventually.

Sidenote the second: I’m open to suggestions for the story, I have my ideas, but I love to hear new ones!

This is actually quite entertaining to read out of pure principal rather than quality, something the Illuminati of the site fail to grasp entirely. Well done, but these kinds cliffhangers should be reserved for situations that have actual weight behind them.
(There are a few types of cliff hangers, this one being a conversational one. One that is fun to write would be the action cliffhanger, wherein a character is suddenly charged or knocked over or even killed by another when the chapter ends.)
As far as I remember, you didn't have Luna involved at all with the story previously and this just seemed like he just generally didn't like her. This chapter could have been used to explain their relationship, since it was -as you described- 'an info dump', but oh well.

Wow, this had actually come out in quite a bit of time since the first chapter was released! Bravo! Have to say I am not much of a fan that pretty much everyone seemed to have hated him but I know there will be reasons why. I just hope that things will improve for him soon.

Also a question, do you see the next chapter and future chapters coming out fairly soon after the current one becomes finished?

More plz

B). The hostily has a rather good reason to be there. And C). Applejack and Twilight have good reasons for their reactions.
Not something we as readers can judge yet, eh?

Also, I get the feeling Emeris doesn't really know princess Celestia, despite knowing her for two years. He's got a rather skewed perception of what she's ready to do. Impale him? Really? For something he'd no control over, didn't know he was the cause of, and didn't want? Doubtful.

Imnot an autobot!!!! *punches you in the face*

1481669
Well the hostility is probably from what would be essentially mind rape. I mean, everything had to fawn over him and generally offer themselves (mind and body) to him. Regardless of his reactions (do not want) or circumstances (cursed, can't control the power), they probably saw it as deliberate or at the very least callous, since he kept coming back to town when they'd rather he just left forever (not taking into effect the resulting self-exile and extreme loneliness).

I hope Pinkie is still friendly, since she seemed to see through the Gary Stu most of the time, seeing him for what he actually was (not a bad person and wouldn't let the power get to his head).

Also longer than I thought

1481948
Yes, quite possibly. Also, it might be misdirected anger; as in, they're angry with themselves about how they acted towards him (Twilight and Fluttershy nearly raped him!), and vent it on him because that's easier than working out their own problems and guilt.

1481987
Something like that as well. Tons of issues, so little time.

"Applejack and Twilight have good reasons for their reactions."

No. No they kind of don't. They have good reason to be mad, sure. But they are responsible for their own actions from this point forward. They are no longer being influenced by the GSE. They are throwing away every lesson about forgiveness and all that, over something that wasn't anyone's fault.

Unless he's still under the effects of the GSE, only in reverse or something.

1482355

Yeah, basically this. Having a reason for acting a certain way doesn't mean acting that way is justified.

1480700 I didn't do the cliffhanger as well as I'd hoped. It was meant to be a relatively minor cliffhanger but came off stronger than intended.
And Luna was offhandedly mentioned in the previous chapter as part of the group that broke his curse: Celestia, Luna, and the Mane Six. Emeris barely knows her as she was not able to completely resist the GSE as Celestia is able to. I hope the story continues to be enjoyable!

1481344 Most of the chapters probably aren't going to come out this quickly unfortunately.
And yeah, the everyone hating him thing is supposed to rub people wrong actually. It's supposed to feel excessive. And things will improve for him relatively slowly, but steadily. Part of the drama of the story is supposed to be how crap his lot has been, but how he deals with it. With maturity and grace rather than depression, anger, or other classic reactions.

1481401 Right away good sir/madam/stallion/mare!

1481669 I mentioned it because I fully expected it to be excessive, but didn't really feel like I had time to address their reasons while remaining within Emeris' PoV. Wanted to make sure the readers know that I'm aware of how it appears and that it's intentional

Also, good catch on Emeris' "knowing" Celestia! Mind you, things were really bad, and to say that Celestia didn't consider having him executed would be a lie. But yes, Emeris' doesn't really understand Celestia. It would've devestated the sun goddess to have to make the decision, but when the options appear to be letting him live and ponies keep being killed or turned into gibbering wrecks, or exiling him and having it still continue just at a slower rate... or having him killed and stopping it...
There's a reason that Emeris was considering letting her kill him.

1481948 That's the gist of it for most ponies, there are individual stories and issues though among everything else though that complicates matters and gets the individual reactions such as Applejacks (Hostility) and Twilights (Violent).

1481987 There's also this, among other things.

1482355 Maybe the GSE has been inverted. Maybe there's other issues complicating things further. Or maybe, no one in-story has the full picture. You'll have to keep reading to find out I just hope it's entertaining enough to do so

1482602 This is a good point! However, Applejack's reaction is mostly justified, Twilight's less so. But all Applejack did was deny him service and glare at him pretty bad.

Its not the best that i have read but it is funny so 8/10 kinda

man. good story, quick chapter upload too

Hopefully they'll all get alng soon once the whole explination is out!

1482355

This.

This chapter was so bad (in my opinion) that I nearly just quit after the part with Twilight. Everyone is so OOC (Celestia especially) that I just couldn't enjoy it. And no, Twilight and Applejack had no reason to do anything. Sure mad would be understandable, but to actually attack him and try to kill him (if it burned him that badly while not even being a direct hit, there's no telling what would have happened had it not missed)? No.

It's not his fault, he didn't like it any more than them, they should obviously understand that, and they all saw him go through unimaginable pain in order to get rid of it.

I'm sorry, but if that crap is going to be in this story, then tell me now so I can drop it. As it stands, the characters are just as OOC as they were when he still had the curse, only in the opposite direction this time.

1482625

"And yeah, the everyone hating him thing is supposed to rub people wrong actually. It's supposed to feel excessive."

What? You did that on purpose? The general public I could see being upset (even though it should be obvious to anyone with a brain that he hated just as much), but the Mane 6? Celestia? That's so stupid to see in this story. I mean, what was Twilight thinking? "Oh yeah, it's all his fault. Sure, he hated it, had to deal with controlling all that power without letting it get to him, had to spend two years finding a way to get rid of nearly all his power, had to go through an insanely painful ritual to get rid of it while also staying enough in control to make sure he didn't stop it, and is now hated by everyone, because the plot says so. But it's still his fault."

I'm sorry for how angry my last couple of reviews have been, but this chapter just killed it for me. Sorry.

1488304

Hey, don't worry, these help me more than the "Great story bro!" reviews do (though those admittedly stroke my ego)

I'd started writing up a big response to your previous comment, but responding to this one actually cuts down on it a lot.

As it's causing problems, despite not wanting to spoil it, let me come straight out and say this: There is a very severe lack of communication and information on all sides of this. For reasons that I'd intended to slowly be revealed, no character has a full understanding of what's happened to everyone else, though Emeris and the Princesses know the most.

The Princess does not hate him. She's frustrated with him occasionally, and very concerned about the effects he might have on her other ponies. But neither Princess hates him. Remember, this is from Emeris' PoV, and we see very little of actual action from Celestia in this chapter.

Applejack only denied him service and glared at him rather intensely.

Twilight's reaction is fully intended to be excessive (And she wasn't trying to kill him). It (if I did things right) makes sense to her given A). Her emotional state, B). Her perception of him, and C). The information she has.

Also, Emeris reaction to this entire mess (especially Twilight's reaction to him) is intended to be a symptom of one of his character flaws. His protecting Twilight despite her violence as well as brushing it off are both symptoms of a deeper character flaw.

However, since it appears to have been a problem, I'll likely revise this chapter to fix it up, or at least give some sort of hints to the thought processes involved... blech, I don't want to spoil what's happening because I feel it'll severely undercut the drama and intensity of the reveal, but I dislike leaving a bad taste in the readers mouth as well... hm... some heavy foreshadowing might work... blech, would just have to figure out how to work it in. I'm open to suggestions.

The chapter has been subtly revised to try and address the issues brought up. Please tell me if it helps or not.

Also: I kind of need a pre-reader/editor to prevent things like this from happening again, the position is open, just understand that said 'position' includes spoilers.

1488261>>1488304 Their reactions were wrong. I'll agree with you there, but at the same time they are the most realistic. That is exactly how every day people would react to a situation like that. They aren't thinking "oh, well he couldn't help it so it's OK" They think "He's the cause of it. What an ass." AJ and Twi (probobly Dash too) would feel this the strongest as they consider themselves as protectors. They project their feeling of failure as anger toward Emeris. That and they may not know he didn't want it.

Hmmmm... Me thinks that Twilight and A.j. were just mad that they fell for 'Gary' so quickly. Or they legitimately thought it was his fault. Or he went into a blackout and killed or hurt someone. Those are my theories at least.

1494674
Well, also as said before, everyone/pony/whatever pretty much lost their minds for two years. That's a long time to not be able to be yourself 100% of the time. Also all age/gender groups were affected, which probably would explain Applejack, who would be extremely defensive of her family.

1494883 Exactly. Like I said their reactions were realistic.

1488304
Is it righteous for them to treat him like shit because something he couldn't control ended up violating and hurting them senselessly?
Of course not. It's wrong to act in blind hatred.

But, is it at least understandable for them to react this way right after regaining sanity and being confronted with the memories of everything that happened when the GSE was active?
I don't know. I think, however, if you look at yourself and others around you honestly, you might get the answer.

People have a tendency to behave irrationally when they've been hurt, physically, mentally, or emotionally. It's the instinctive reaction humans — no, most if not all animals — have to those things that harm us. Generally, it's considered a beneficial behavioral adaptation to practice avoidance and hostility to things that are harmful to us; for example, were you to touch a stove-top and burn yourself, you would most likely gain an aversion to touching the stove-top for the immediate future, because your instinct (and intuition as well) would reinforce that aversion by advising that "this has harmed us and may harm us again." Yes, an extremely simplistic example, but it should demonstrate the basic concept well enough.

Now, I'm fairly certain that crashing back into hard reality after two years of the GSE's mind-altering effects would been pretty painful for the populace of Ponyville. Is it not reasonable for them to instinctively feel fear, revulsion, and anger over this, even if he was not in control of it? He was the focal point for the curse, so is it not natural for them to, at least for the immediate time after regaining their mental facilities, irrationally lash out at him since he is the only target of blame they can direct their ire towards for the harm the GSE caused?

Also, keep in mind that Ponies aren't Saints. The show makes that pretty clear. Ponies are NOT omnibenevolent creatures of infinite love and tolerance. That mistaken paradigm really only exists in "The Conversion Bureau" "those incredibly, irrationally misanthropic stories that make Purity Sues out of the entirety of Ponykind and Innocent Monsters (Strawmen) out of all of Humanity." Ponies are capable of cruelty, dishonesty, jealousy, vanity, and selfishness. Yeah, I'll admit it: the majority of them seem to be kind and idyllic in their day-to-day interactions (except we never really see much of them, because most of them are nameless background characters who don't have complex personalities or roles in the show...); but honestly, the vast majority of the people I've ever met were... genuinely nice people, regardless of my individual experience with them. Remember, never attribute malice to that which can be adequately explained as ignorance, carelessness, or grievance. People are imperfect, cut us some slack and give another chance. We can learn — it's what we're specialized at as a species.

The truth is: humans aren't bastards. We like getting along and making friends, don't like hurting others, don't like seeing others suffer, feel satisfaction when we help others selflessly, don't like senseless wars, like peace and prosperity, prefer being honest, feel guilty when we aren't, want to find true love, uphold virtue, and wish to live our lives freely. In the 'heart' of every single human being on this planet there is the same shared dream. The wish to obtain the state of universal bliss known as "utopia." Whether or not one consciously realizes it, I honestly believe that is one truth that can never be denied, and it is something we will always strive for no matter how impossible it actually seems to be. Because "for everyone to be happy" is a wish I think we all find beautiful, wouldn't you agree?

Wow, I'm sorry, I got off on a tangent there didn't I?

1495143

I really wish you could like or upvote comments (or somesuch thing) on this site, because, man, you'd deserve it.

That wasn't a tangent, that was a good argument!

1488505

Sorry it's taken so long for me to reply. I didn't read any replies to my comment since I still felt frustrated and was afraid I'd say something rude.

That said, your comment cleared things up. Sadly, it still leaves me slightly confused. The reason I said I understood the majority not liking him was that they wouldn't know what was going on. The reason I didn't think it explained the actions of the Mane 6 has to do with the fact that they don't have that excuse. You say the main reason for everything was a severe lack of communication and information, but I don't really understand that. Did they not seriously notice during all that time how much he hated his curse? Didn't they notice how much he tried to distance himself to make sure he didn't take advantage of anyone? What about the end of the first chapter, when they removed his curse. All of the Mane 6 were there, and they all saw what he had to go through to get rid of it, while also removing a large part of himself (the ability to fly). How could any of them see all of that and still think he's at fault? Irrational anger doesn't cut it. That would only work if either they didn't know what he went through, or if they thought he liked it. As it stands, I don't see how the Mane 6 at the very least weren't willing to talk about it.

Alright, I'll admit that AJ's reaction could make sense if he was just exaggerating her reaction to him (looking ready to attack him). Twilight? There's really no way to downplay what she did. I understand your reasons, but they really confuse me given the circumstances. Point A is really the only thing I could buy, because she would be emotional. Point B makes no sense to me, because at worst her perception of him should be decent. Seriously, she saw the stuff he had to go through (she helped set it up after all), knew he was giving up nearly all of his power (and wings), and knew the only way it would work would be for him to just accept it and not fight it. There's no possible way she could have all of that and think a second that he's not a good guy. I'm sorry, but there's nothing that can sway my opinion on that. Point C goes back to Point B since the information she should and does have should all point to him hating the curse and wanting to get rid of it, to the point of potentially wiping himself out of existence. The only thing I could see giving her an excuse would be if she didn't remember anything that happened during the time she had the curse, but that still doesn't make sense because in that case she wouldn't remember it at all.

Also, it really seemed like she was trying to kill him. She went all out in her attack (which never should have happened to begin with, and considering that it's still a public library, it doesn't seem like she should have any right to kick him out to begin with), and even though it only grazed him it still caused horrible burns (if it looks like 1st degree burns, then it really doesn't matter if it is or not. I've been burned, and it's extremely painful to go through, and I didn't even have 1st degree burns; maybe my personal experience is what makes that worse for me). Key point there is that it didn't hit hit him in a serious area, meaning she was either trying to kill him, or permanently scar him while giving him horrific injuries (honestly, I'm not sure what would be worse). Again, there's nothing I read which could possibly excuse her actions. At all. I don't care if she didn't remember a thing during the time he was cursed; it still wouldn't change the fact that what she did was unforgivable. Had she just asked him to leave, or even ignored him, then I wouldn't have cared. I'd still wonder how she could somehow forget in the span of a day everything they went through to get him back to normal, but I could wait for the explanation. The only thing that seriously made me dislike it (and this is just personal opinion. I don't like what you wrote, but that doesn't change the fact that the writing itself is great) was how aggressive the characters were (mostly Twilight. AJ only got a raised eyebrow).

I haven't read the chapter after it was changed slightly, and I might not get to it for a while. Don't get me wrong, you're a great writer (the descriptions in the story and the way you show the emotion is just amazing), but it just seems like this wasn't the kind of story I was looking for.

1500546
Well, thank you ever so kindly for the complement! If you liked this, you might just find this recent post of mine interesting as well. I'd like to hear what you think about the issue, too. Not sure you've read the original story this is supposed to be connected to, but given how popular it was (despite its "adult" content), I wouldn't be surprised.

1500807

Sorry it's taken so long for me to reply. I didn't read any replies to my comment since I still felt frustrated and was afraid I'd say something rude.

Totally understand.

That said, your comment cleared things up. Sadly, it still leaves me slightly confused...

Most everything I want to respond to this paragraph with is either spoiler-ific or I'll address later in this reply.

Alright, I'll admit that AJ's reaction could make sense if he was just exaggerating her reaction to him (looking ready to attack him).

He is, that's how he percieves that kind of glare due to past experiences. His reaction was the appropriate one, but his perception of it is off.

Let me break this one up, a bit...

Twilight? There's really no way to downplay what she did. I understand your reasons, but they really confuse me given the circumstances. Point A is really the only thing I could buy, because she would be emotional.

There's more than one emotion involved in her reaction to him, and this is actually a key point in causing her reaction as well as her not initially confronting him until he said something specific that she misinterprets due to her perception of him.

Point B makes no sense to me, because at worst her perception of him should be decent. Seriously, she saw the stuff he had to go through (she helped set it up after all), knew he was giving up nearly all of his power (and wings), and knew the only way it would work would be for him to just accept it and not fight it. There's no possible way she could have all of that and think a second that he's not a good guy. I'm sorry, but there's nothing that can sway my opinion on that.

I think there's a bit of a misunderstanding here. Let me see if I can clear it up, so please, bear with me: I want you to think of the worst pain you've ever experienced. This rather obviously heavily influences your responses to the question "On a scale of 1 - 10, how bad is the pain?" Now, what would've been the worst physical pain Twilight will have experienced in a cannon form of the series? She probably hasn't gone through anything I would even call a six. Now, obviously she knows there's worse pains and she doesn't consider the worst she's experienced to be even a 9, but consider what she'd think of when you say "On a scale of 1 to 10, it's easily a 10."
Now, remember that what Emeris, our PoV, experienced is very, very different from what they saw. They saw a large alicorn curled up in the center of a swirling rainbow, glowing silver as golden light played across him. His wings slowly glowing brightly and floating away as dissolving embers.
Only Celestia and Luna have any concept of the actual amount of pain Emeris went through.
Additionally, this is not the major influence on her perception of him. That was developed over the previous two years of dealing with the monsters that his curse summoned as well as the town having to deal with his presence.

Point C goes back to Point B since the information she should and does have should all point to him hating the curse and wanting to get rid of it, to the point of potentially wiping himself out of existence. The only thing I could see giving her an excuse would be if she didn't remember anything that happened during the time she had the curse, but that still doesn't make sense because in that case she wouldn't remember it at all.

You are (completely reasonably, this is my fault for not giving the appropriate foreshadowing) overestimating the amount of reliable information she has about him. This is a major factor that is the largest influence of her perception of him and her reaction.There are things she does not know and is heavily misinformed about for reasons both outside of anyponies control, as well as within.
Her contact with him has been limited and almost exclusively negative, to the point that the realization of how alone he must be out there has never crossed her (or really, anyone's except Celestia and Luna's) mind(s), simply due to the fact that they dislike/distrust/are angry with/in some cases hate him so much that such concerns for him haven't crossed their minds.

Also, it really seemed like she was trying to kill him. She went all out in her attack (which never should have happened to begin with, and considering that it's still a public library, it doesn't seem like she should have any right to kick him out to begin with), and even though it only grazed him it still caused horrible burns (if it looks like 1st degree burns, then it really doesn't matter if it is or not. I've been burned, and it's extremely painful to go through, and I didn't even have 1st degree burns; maybe my personal experience is what makes that worse for me).

I believe your experience with burns is hurting you here. A *sunburn* is a 1st degree burn. A 2nd degree burn is worse, and 3rd degrees are horrendous. But a 1st degree is just somewhat painful. It just looks bad because it's right on top of his cutie mark, long, and burnt away the fur.
Note though: I am not saying Twilight was in the right here. She isn't, she's overreacting even when taking the extenuating factors into account, but that's an emotional reaction. My point with all of this isn't that she isn't overreacting (she is), but rather that she is not OOC in doing so.

Key point there is that it didn't hit hit him in a serious area, meaning she was either trying to kill him, or permanently scar him while giving him horrific injuries (honestly, I'm not sure what would be worse). Again, there's nothing I read which could possibly excuse her actions. At all. I don't care if she didn't remember a thing during the time he was cursed; it still wouldn't change the fact that what she did was unforgivable.

Her reaction was influenced by anger and fear and assuming that he would either fight back or be tougher than he is. She's been ready for an Alicorn that could potentially defeat Celestia, not an above-average unicorn that pales in comparison to her magical prowess that doesn't even have the presence of mind to magically defend himself.
Also, she remembers everything she experienced under the effects of the curse, but this doesn't mean she has the whole picture. This is a root of the problem.

I haven't read the chapter after it was changed slightly, and I might not get to it for a while. Don't get me wrong, you're a great writer (the descriptions in the story and the way you show the emotion is just amazing), but it just seems like this wasn't the kind of story I was looking for.

I hope that the revisions make it more palatable when/if you do get around to reading it, and I'm sorry that it's not what you were expecting/hoping for, but I totally understand and just hope that future chapters of it are more to your liking!
And thank you very much for the compliment and taking the time to comment, I appreciate it immensely

Oh wow, I must have been very, very tired when I wrote that reply. I got the burn degrees mixed up, which was incredibly stupid of me. I meant to say that I had high 2nd degree burns, not 1st (). That definitely helps me, since I was picturing him with horrendous burns on his flank since I got the burns mixed up.

Also, the part with Twilight not seeing what I thought she saw clears things up as well. I thought she was seeing his wings burning away, as he lays on the ground screaming in pain. Obviously I was wrong about that, meaning my entire point was, well, pointless. Maybe my problem is that I always get frustrated by seeing this happen so often in stories, where all this drama is played out which could be solved in a few minutes if they just talked to each other.

Anyway, I would like to thank you for being so polite in your responses to me, even though it seems many of my points were from me not understanding something correctly. Seeing you reply so calmly makes me feel like a complete jerk, so I'm sorry .

1504372 I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you feel bad!

And don't worry, it's easy to get the burn degrees mixed up, it's not automatically intuitive to most people.

Also, it's not surprising that you misunderstood what she saw, as the story is from Emeris' PoV and I neglected to mention that he was basically silent in his horrendous pain. It's very easy to see how people would assume that he was on the ground, screaming in agony as his wings burned away, even though what I'd intended was very different, I'll likely go back and see if I can't fix that up without losing the feel of that section to clear up any future misunderstandings

And trust me, I know exactly what you're talking about when it comes to things being frustrating and dramatic only because people don't take the time to talk about it (It makes me go all ) and that's something that I intend to avert with this story as well as play with, calling attention to it when it does happen.

And finally: Don't worry, you didn't come across as a jerk, just frustrated, there's an enormous difference That and most of the misunderstandings are due to my writing style as well as my desire to keep things mysterious, so most of the fault is on me anyways

Regardless, I hope this series is as enjoyable for you and others as it is for me to write it. I've got to rewrite the entire first 3,000 words of chapter 2 because my computer decided to delete them on me, but whatever. It's just a delay, and it'll be fun to try and come at it from a different direction. Just wish the conversation with the two royals wasn't so hard to write. Elizebethian English isn't exactly my strong suite

1505353

Oh don't worry, you didn't make me feel bad at all. I made myself feel bad after realizing how frustrated my comment sounded (which is in no way your fault).

About the misunderstanding with how he handled the removal of his curse, I have a few ideas that might prevent that misunderstanding. You've brought up how he ignores how Twilight hurt him because he cares for her (and her friends), so why not reinforce that idea during the ritual? Mention how he grits his teeth to prevent letting anything out, because he doesn't want the others to worry about him any more than they already do. That way, there would be a valid explanation as to why they didn't realize how painful it was for him. Sure he would probably be grimacing in pain, but the light from the ritual (he was in a rainbow, right?) would probably have hidden that well enough that they didn't notice. Along with that, you could have him think about how ironic the ritual looks, in that the way it removes his wings looks extremely less painful than it really is. This way, you'd have a valid reason for Twilight not being able to assume that losing his wings was horrifically painful. When I pictured it going on, I thought it was like his wings basically disintegrating into ash while being engulfed in fire (which would look really, really painful).

I can't remember the exact wording, so if any of my ideas are already there, then feel free to let me know. That said, those two ideas added to the chapter would provide valid reasons for Twilight not realizing just how painful the process he had to go through was, which means her reaction to him later would make more sense (since she would assume that although he lost his wings, he still has his horn which, to her, means he should still be just as powerful, even though that's not actually true). This would also allow the perfect chance to have him bring that up while talking to her, perhaps having him tell her exactly how painful it was in an outburst after she says something like what he had to go through didn't look that bad. Does that make sense?

Hope those ideas are useful for you.

Interesting.

I'm not sure that this story is sustainable in the long run. While the plot is interesting and I want to read more of it, this actually has one of the basic problems with most MS/GS/HiE/etc fics: the main character has not much of a characterization. There are random stabs here and there, but Emeris just is not really coming together for me as a personality. He seems to be more like an everyman, a stand-in for the archetypal Human Reader From Earth.

1526285 That is... unfortunate. That is not my intention and is a very good criticism, I will see about giving him a more distinct characterization as time goes on.

I know his character flaws, but as the story is almost entirely from his perspective, it is hard to showcase them as he does not notice them (We hardly notice our own flaws).

As it's not spoilers, and it may help people catch my own errors in his characterization:
Emeris is intended to be, as a whole, very at ease with himself and a rather stable character as a direct contrast to the otherwise excitable ponies around him. He is actually not intended to grow much as a character over the course of the story, as he is an adult and (much like Applejack), already knows most of the 'lessons' he should learn. It is intended for the reader to project upon Emeris to a certain degree, but I hope that the plot and slow reveal of his character will carry this through any "Urgh, I've seen this before" that people may have experienced.

Among his flaws are:

* He thinks he has a huge ego barely kept in check by being critical of himself. He doesn't, and he's overly harsh on himself. He downplays his achievements and his abilities much like Twilight avoids flaunting how powerful she is.
* He overthinks and procrastinates like all hell. This one will be hard to call attention to, but most of the story, drama, and plot(s) will come to him rather than the other way around. He actively avoids adventure and an interesting life.
* His social skills are lacking, but he's not uncomfortable around others. This is admittedly similar to the "shy everyman", but I am trying to make it distinct in that while he might not know what to say, he's not an awkward mess in most situations. Confused, but not awkward.
* He's more than a bit of a coward. It won't show up in the story for a few chapters, but he's actually more than a little bit of a coward. It's only when people he cares about are in danger and hes the only one that can help that he stands up to danger. He also doesn't feel bad about this, even when accused of it. This is a key point in distinguishing it from the norm.
* He is vicious, and not in a 'cool' way. In the rip out someone's throat with your teeth/scratch out their eyes/groin shots sort of vicious. In a world like MLP: FiM, this is extremely excessive and will actually be a source of conflict later on.
* He forgives/puts aside issues far too easily. As I mentioned to The Archive, the fact that he brushed off what Twilight did so quickly (and then even defended her of a sorts) is fully intended to be one of his character flaws.

These will all cause him problems in at least one form or the other, and this is on top of the variety of other issues I have planned already that don't even need anything more than what I've set up.

Even if Emeris is not as strong of a character as I would like, you'd be surprised how sustainable this story might be, as I have... *counts*... approximately 5 story arcs currently in the planning stages, each one should be at least 3 solid chapters each, maybe more. Admittedly, that includes the one we're currently on, which will be 4 chapters and blend into the next arc, but still. I have a solid amount of content in the planning stages for this story, so I hope you'll be pleasantly surprised

Edit: And damnit, really wish I could up-vote comments, because that's exactly the kind of criticism I'm looking for. I wouldn't have caught that myself as I'm seeing the story and characters as a whole, and forget how it appears to the reader. To reiterate: Thank You for the comment. It will hopefully make the story far more compelling and interesting in the long run.

Wish I would have found this earlier, great great story.

However, being a programmer I noticed that depending on the language you are coding in this:

If(Fluttershy.Emotion == Hostile){

Run to Canterlot, speak with Celestia, because something is screwy

}

Else{

Go home and think

};

won't work. Syntax errors.

I wonder, in Emeris's ridiculously overpowered state, did he ever make an attempt to save the various ponies attacked and killed by the monster-of-the-week? After all, Sues and Stus can usually bring folks back from the dead unless its plot-relevant or tear-jerking that they can't, and if the GSE doesn't care about the fates of background ponies then it shouldn't mind them bring brought back.

My best, the Madelbrot Fractal, seemed like it might actually be able to stand up to Twilight for a time. Looked weird as hell as it’s based heavily on the 3D model of the Madelbrot set,

"Mandelbrot" has an 'n' in it.

I loooove this story.

Could I have forced my way past the little guy? Sure. But I loved him, and he’d been blocking the doorway.

If you’ve ever had a pet do that, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

OH GOD THAT GIANT PAW CRUSHING MY LEG I CAN NEVER RISE AGAIN I MUST SIT HERE PROVIDING A CUSHION FOR THE PAW WHILE THE REST OF HIM SITS ENTIRELY APART FROM ME

Couldn’t figure out why, but it dashed any dreams of being pony Gordan Freeman. Could still be pony Green Lantern though, heh.

That's my schtick!

Fuck, I just rick rolled myself didn’t I…

You know your life is fubar when you rick roll yourself

Droolykins is best character.

I was fine with the anger, seeing it as mind-control whiplash. Instead of forced infatuation, it's a bit of hatred.

Emeris talks like Mordin from the Mass Effect series sometimes, using odd, disjointed sentence fragments. I mean, I like it, as Mordin was one of my favorite characters, just, pointing it out.

Could I have forced my way past the little guy? Sure. But I loved him, and he’d been blocking the doorway.

If you’ve ever had a pet do that, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

I know that feeling better than anyone. You try pushing past a dog that comes up to your ribs and weighs 160 pounds. Lemme tell ya, you have to learn to be patient with a pet like that when bringing in groceries...
Kinda sad when your pet weighs more then you, eh?

1915877
i.imgur.com/HTisMpC.jpg

I just found this story last night and I already love it.

And hey, Emeris it could be worse than hate. They could be forming a good old fashioned Lynch mob for you!

Yes, I was saying “Clickclickclickclickclick swish-ding~” But I was typing with my brain , so hush.

I'd do that too

but it dashed any dreams of being pony Gordan Freeman.

... fuck....

If(Fluttershy.Emotion == Hostile){
Run to Canterlot, speak with Celestia, because something is screwy
}
Else{
Go home and think
};

There should be a semicolon after "screwy", and the semicolon at the end should be after "think" instead of the closing bracket.