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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not much to add to the authors note (which I hope I used correctly, please tell me if I didn't) other than "This story still needs Cover Art of some sort."
Sorry about the slightly smaller chapter, but the next one is going to be snippets rather than continuous time like this one was and I felt it was better to keep the two styles of chapters separate rather than tacking on some snippets to the end of this one to get it to my usual wordcount.
Hell to the yes, a new chapter!
Fu...l(^o^)ll(^o^)l
Sion... \(^o^\)(/^o^)/
HA! (/^o^)/\(^o^)\
O(≧∇≦)O
My cell phone CRIED OUT IN JOY when I got the update email.
Let the fun begin!
At least Twilight's no longer crazy
That's good, right?
1812383
Hey, there's no autobots!
1812506
I never thought I'd see a smiley for that...
1812536
You might want to get that checked out, or turn it in to AI research departments, 'cuz phones ain't supposed to have emotions just yet
1812574
Twilight and Emeris are both trapped in a single body, and neither of them are particularly sane by normal standards so... let's go with "Maybe."
What? What are you talking about? It's not like I forgot to include a customary salutation due to the change in formatting for the Authors Notes, that's ridiculous ( )
Well, this is different. I haven't read a merged body scenario in a fanfic.
Poor Dashie. This huge mishap is going to bring Twilight and Emeris really close. Can't get any closer to someone then sharing the same mind and body.
This is the part where I link something funny as a 'You did well, have this as thanks' thing, BUT due to certain circumstances with my internet-speed this is not possible so I'll have to settle with the words "You are awesome, you made my day so much better" aaaand I'll squeeze in a "Hope you have a great Chrismas" while I'm at it.
1812674 Well I just had to, it was too tempting not to attempt. Nice chapter by the by, wonder how they'll get out of this one. At least they're not wearing potara earrings.
1812707 Twist: Twilight was wearing earrings in preparation for an upcoming date, said earrings happened to be of the potara variety.
Trying to keep track of two different genders and personalities in one mind?
i.qkme.me/y6s.jpg
I love this story so much and everytime a favorite of mine updated, I'd click on the favorites button and hope this was it. I nearly squealed when I saw that Consequences finally updated. Now for another week or so of hoping for the next chapter.
Yeash. Poor Twiris.
A nice chapter indeed.
Did Emeris is really ready for dates? I mean, he state that he is a little pervert, and will look, but after all that is happening, I don't think he is ready to go back into the horse (je, no pon intended)
Also, I don't think he is fully acceptable of the whole mares asking stallion out, sure its has being 2 years, but he was force to be the bigger man and take charge, plus our own culture in what dating is about, will result in him taking charge again.
Beside is only fair and/or necessary, if he is not the one asking out and taking must of the charge like humans males suppose to do, he must probably will end up having a panic attack, is logical:
Chasing day in and day out by a whole planet, has to be VERY cautious with every move a pony make, the constant guilt and fear if he let his guard down. All of that will create a well define complex/ trauma, is a miracle that he didn't develop anthropophobia and I bet he at least has a little venustraphobia.
So yeah dating or a Equestria dating is a little out of the question. In my opinion
Curse you late night updates...
This is one of the only stories that I anticipate so much that I must read immediately.
Take pride in a wonderful concept and story you have created.
1812687
Allow me to assist:
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/scootwings.gif
1812682
That's weird, I would've thought you came across one before, I've seen at least three on this site alone when I haven't been looking for them...
1812687
Thanks! Merry Christmas/appropriate holiday to you as well! May your holidays be filled with much food and fun and delightful fornication!
1812707
With SCIENCE of course!
1812760
1812762
... how about, instead, we don't do that?
1812884
*flattered*
1812900
Smashing! And yeah, that pair just can't catch a break.
1812909
Note that we haven't seen his reaction in the least!
1812913
Sorry, I upload them as I get them done and passed by my pre-reader/editor, I dun like making people wait
1812927
... this makes me giggle. Why does this make me giggle?
Twilight.
Yes?
We need to go to the Bathroom.
...
1812980
Ahh I see what you did, right there, well play Andoriol, well play indeed
1812980 1812913
This is mostly my fault... Andoriol usually gets these to us early in the day, but by the time it's read, reviewed, and comments go back and fourth a few times...
Because it's Scootaloo!
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/well__duh____by_mezkalito4p-d4dyuik.gif
i wonder if this is the same as when vageta and goku fused to form gojeta and they revert back to normal after 30mins, but something tells me I'm wrong.
Great, a true case of DID. This should get fun/frustrating.
1813164
out of curiosity, when did andoriol send this chapter to you?
because the waiting hurts like a bitch and if the chapters were released in a schedule well...... it might hurt less(maybe)?
1812999
This is so getting added to the next chapter
1813003
I learned from some of the best
1813164
But I've never been a huge fan of the CMC...
1813889
Very very wrong
1813904
A case of DID? I've never seen that acronym before, could you please elaborate?
1813904
They have access to the chapter as a googledoc while I work on it, I PM them when I get to good stopping points in the chapter so they know when I've made progress. It's that last push/overview that takes a bit because it takes a bit of luck for schedules to overlap properly
The time between initial completion and final completion is about 24 hours, I usually get "done" with a chapter either early in the day or far later and it takes a bit for both my prereader and editor to get to it as well as for me to edit it.
Unfortunately, there's no real "schedule" to the chapters, I have a plan and a summary of the events and plot points I wish to cover, and then I write until I find a good stopping point, ideally after 10k words. Because of this, some chapters take longer than others, which I'm sorry about, I honestly do hate making people wait
1815039 DID AKA Dissociative Identity Disorder AKA the disorder where two(or more) personalities occupy the same body/mind. Hope that explains it.
1815056
Thank you! I know the disorder, but I didn't make the connection between the acronym and the disorder
But yep! A true case of such, oh mother fuckin joys
1812999
Worse (better) yet, what happens when Twilight discovers the joys of waking up with male anatomy.
Emeris...
Yes.
What is this?
Oh, that happens from time to time.
You're in charge of our body. Do something about it.
Not even I can control that part.
Edit: I have a dirty mind sometimes.
oh hey i found an error!
FEET
1812980 no big, i should exercise self control and wait till i have more time ta read.
This is just one of those that that becomes difficult with. By all means update when you can.
1815408
You are a horrible person
I salute you
Honestly I think Emeris should be going ballistic about what Twilight did, Hell if I were him I'd prolly end up yelling at her for a whole day about it. Bad Twilight, bad
Other than that Interesting chapter can't wait to see what happens when Celestia has to help, If she has to help.
1815408
This is also going in
1815973
They're thinking with a brain of a pony + former human! I have an excuse! (That and the phrase doesn't work or flow as well when you use the word hooves, I've tried).
1817308
Hope it continues to be worth it
1817507
Agreed!
1818118
This is actually an explicit character flaw of Emeris', he's definitely far too forgiving here and will be called out on such once other ponies are made aware of it.
1818178
I make no pretenses about being good at "old" english
I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me fix Luna's dialogue, as I always have trouble parsing grammar rules into actual writing, especially after the fact like this
boom! conflict!
1817507>>1818203
Agreed
OK, I just looked at the character tags, and noticed Trixie appeared. I go back through the story and see no mention of her. I then thought of something. She might be coming in soon. This will be interesting, given what's happened to Twilight.
So she drugs him up, casts spells on him, and seduces him with all her might, and if he dares give in he's awful for the rest of time? I'm sorry, but that's a little more than simply a "lapse in judgement."
1856531
Remember that the curse was basically pupeteering Twilight, and that Twilight herself basically had to watch as her body did those thing against her will. It can be likened to a particularly fucked up version of forced prostitution, and Twilight explicitly was not in control of her actions at the time, Emeris on the other hand, was.
The emotional context means that both of them are slightly over-reacting (They each feel like they were about to be raped, and Emeris felt like he was about to rape her), but remember that Twilight had no control of her actions while around "Gary", and both of them were aware of it.
1858791
Sadly, the prologue only touches upon the nature of the story and serves mostly as a way to set up the rest of it, I recommend giving the next chapter or two a read before making a decision on the story, as most who have read it have said that it gets better as it goes
You just had to throw "the cake is a lie" in there, didn't you. Superb writing. I love the nerdy references sprinkled about. I remember an Evangelion reference, a coding in general reference, and now Portal. :D
Haha, she justifies mind-rape, breaking and entering, various acts of unwarranted hostility, and acts of unwarranted violence because she was concerned that her friends had been raped. Oh wow, and then she doesn't to ask the Princesses for help out of concern about facing the consequences of her actions.
And the rest of the Mane Six plus Emmy are fine with this.
Haha, oh wow, this is a pretty stupid Mane Six. It's as if they conveniently forgot about the lesson learned from the events of Lesson Zero.
Did she even consider the fact that the town would have mobbed against him as soon as the curse was broken?
1895686
I'm... having trouble parsing the emotion here. Twilight's reactions are fully intended to be extreme and rather severe, due to a combination of her own emotional response to him (she literally was almost, herself, raped) and her conclusion that he must have been raping others. However, this is intended to be in-character for her give the information, and given her conclusions, it's surprising she didn't do worse?
This is again, intended to be IC for her. Not right, but in character.
They're not fine with this, at least, the rest of the Mane Six aren't. They're willing to trust her, to at least give her a chance because it's obviously so important to her, but they're not fine with it. Emeris is fully intended to be far too forgiving here, it's an explicit character flaw of his and will come back to bite him in the ass.
And what lesson was that? That even if something doesn't seem like a big deal to you, if your friend considers it a big deal, to humor them at very least? Which is intended to be what they're doing? There's also another, subtle element at play here that comes from Xenophillia-based world-building.
No. She didn't. Note that she has confirmation bias in most of her searchings for flaws and monsterous acts from "Gary", and actually has to struggle with herself at times to "remind" herself that he's a horrible monster. She was actively ignoring evidence that contradicted her conclusion, the way she did with the Pinkie Sense and has shown elements of afterwards.
Again, Twilight is not in the right here. But she's supposed to be in-character.
1895767
I had to spend a few hours considering my response.
Mainly because I'm not used to having the pleasure of being treated as if I couldn't comprehend story details easily, much less the basics of story writing, because I don't agree with a character's actions due to a differing view and ideology. Or the anger that accompanies it.
I don't know if you meant to offend, but you sure as hell did. Especially by being kind enough to remind that she's supposed to be in character as if I was literary-handicapped. I could go on, but I won't. I wasted more than enough of my time on this response as is.
We have differing views on the usage of "fine" then. However, since I seemed to be unable to understand the story, I'll just state what I had thought taken place when I was reading and why I believe the group is fine about Twilight's reason for not contacting the princess.
The magic that caused Twilight and Emmy to fuse is due to a by-product of various variations of an two-way mental spell mixing/affecting/fusing with several anti-detection spells. Overall, magic which wasn't meant to occur, occurred, and with it properties and limitations unknown. Dealing with something like that isn't a matter of trusting someone, but a matter of time, and having the support of two god-like beings in such a solution is an obvious boon. However, the group allows Twilight endeavor to not face the consequences of her actions to continue.
That spells which affect the mind are a slippery slope when used improperly.
Don't take this as a hate comment towards your story, it's not.
I actually consider your story pretty good, your prologue especially being something that deserves praise.
Good writing doesn't sway my anger at being treated as a dunce, however.
1896821
I'm sorry, that was not my intention in the least
You are in no way incapable of understanding the story, I was only trying to explain authorial intent, again, I apologize for the tone of the response as it was entirely unintentional
This is not the intended tone of their response, and if you can point to me specific parts that make it appear like that, I will change it. I intended for their choice to be a very hesitant one based on their friends near panic about the situation and that they trust in her ability to fix a "magical accident" (the lack of detail given to the others about the accident was intentional). If this has not come across, then I have failed in my efforts as a writer and need to change something to better convey that intent.
I had thought that this lesson was specific to Twilight and was not a concern of the others, who's main "conflict" in the episode was their dismissal of Twilight's concerns.
I understand, and again, I apologize, that was not my intention in the least
1897703
Waking up to find out you went off on something due to unintentional miscommunication. Good sign of where this day is heading, I guess.
I'm sorry about that then since it really does seem to have been a misunderstanding on my part.
This is more of a matter of the differing views on the usage of "fine." They allow/trust her to fix it, however hesitant, which mean (to me, at least) they are fine with it at some level. Granted, said acceptance can change, but until then they are fine with it.
Even if the details of it were Twilight-specific, any observers of the event and those under its influence too should have had at least gained some understanding of the potential harm of mind-affecting spells used improperly, if they hadn't already had such caution. Celestia doesn't rain down from the sky in sunny glory just to grab some bread and butter, after all. ... Pretty sure she wouldn't.
1898171
Before I start, I just want to thank you for taking the time to critique the fic, and again, apologize for how I came across earlier. I greatly appreciate the critique as it points out something that I may need to elaborate on to properly convey my intent in the story.
By that definition/usage of the word, then yes, they are fine with it, but their reaction is... a bit biased. Note the lack of full understanding that the mane six have. Twilight (and Emeris) are the ones that know how badly Twilight fucked up, but this fic is operating under the assumption that none of the other Mane Six have a deep understanding of the workings of magic, and even Rarity, who uses magic, doesn't have the fundamental understanding of magic's limitations to know just how badly Twilight ballsed this up.
They are "fine" with it by your usage of the term, only insofar as they understand the situation. The "deception" in this case is not intentional, as Twilight is assuming that by the very fact that they're fused together is implication enough of how bad she messed things up. If they understood just how bad things were, they'd be a lot angrier with Twilight, though unable to properly express that anger due to any retribution (Emotional or physical) also harming Emeris in the current situation. And again, another subtle effect due to Xenophillia (and its spin-offs) based world-building is in effect here that is encouraging the cooperation of the mares.
While this is true (and now I can't get that image out of my head damnit, *ominous faux-latin chanting* "I now ask... pass the butter."[), the lesson they were taught is taking precedence, especially since the situation is somewhat similar (Twilight freaking out over something that seems small to them). They also don't want to bring the Princesses in 'casually'. Ponies consistently hesitate to bring in the Princesses when it would otherwise be helpful or beneficial. This was what I drew from the situation and from the show in general and has informed my plot and character development so far.
My intention here was: It's not that they haven't learned that lesson, it's that they consider the lesson they learned about friendship to be more important.
I just read all of the chapters and, I must say, from the deep, dark depths of my happy mind (no seriously, look at my cutie mark and face on my pony self avatar. Does that look like some one who is usually annoyed?), that you are destroying this story.
You started off so well. The prologue was perfect and the flow was great. Ever since the third or so chapter I've been noticing more and more major errors. Not just spelling (really didn't find many of the spelling) or the grammar (found TONS of these). No I found you repeating yourself. I literally read the same paragraphs twice but written differently. Maybe you take breaks at random intervals or somepony throws beer in your lap (i dunno lol) either way: I get that shit happens. But you should always re-read from at least two paragraphs back. Although, to be honest, I would only scroll up to read my two newly typed paragraphs if I had been gone for ten to twenty-five minutes. So, if you do get a beer thrown in your lap and you pass out for the rest of the eight hour night, you might want to re-read your whole chapter that you've been writing. Maybe even some from your previous one (just to tie in or finish any loose ends).
Anyway, rant aside, I REALLY dislike the fact that you made Twilight and Emeris combine the way you did. The fact that their horns touching causes them to share minds is completely absurd. You don't see Cadence and Shining Armor become one physically or mentally! They just showed that they cared. Not to mention that I recall that you wrote that Emeris failed his surprise test from Twilight because he did not have any magic left! If anything, it would have been a dud, just like when a charged positive meets a dead negative, the positive isn't attracted! TWILIGHT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SUCKED IN. And yes I say sucked in because I can NOT think of the perspective from which the story STARTED FROM should change to a completely different pony. I mean you at least did the whole "Gary =/= Emeris" in the prologue and then five chapters of continual plain "Emeris" and now suddenly BAM! It are also le Twittlight Spickle.
Along with that you just completely destroyed any possible bonding time between Twilight and Emeris! I mean it went from "He's terribly evil and wicked I gotta save my friends" to "Oh we have the same mind we completely understand each other." I mean WHAT. THE. FUCK. SO MUCH LOST TIME TO BOND. By the time you actually made it so that the other mares in the Mane 6 actually defended Emeris from Twilight's crazy "He's terribly evil blah blah blah" SHE ALREADY REALIZED HER FAULTS! DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH OF A PROBLEM THIS IS?! AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE TWILIGHT WANTS TO FIX THIS! No, instead she just wants to run "tests." If you wanted to test out the alicorn body...why did you make the PROLOGUE so AGAINST the alicorn body enough to get rid of it? Did you recently decide "I really miss the alicorn body from the prologue. How can I bring it back in a semi-reasonable way so I can write about many more things I could do with it?" Essentially, what I'm saying here is you MUST find a way in that these two regain their own bodies and memories. The best case-scenario would be to have them separate and, along with the separation, forget each other's memories and each other's feelings for each other, along with that you'll also have to make the other members of the Mane 6 forget too. FUCK. You dun fucked yourself gewd. Unless this was part of your story from the prologue and you have a way to fix this and you make ALL the ponies happy -because that was the idea in the prologue (you know, that you were upset with making ALL the members of the mane 6 acting wrongly [granted you did mention that Emeris had almost married Twilight several times previously {But you even had her spill her own emotions in saying
which in of itself says that it is not TRUE love and you cannot just force these two together and say that they will now finally be lovers}])- lol I blame my ADHD for interrupting my interruption of an interruption of an interruption. LOL ERMAHGERD IZ INTERUPTIONCEPTION. NO
Sorry for all this text and emotion, but somepony has to say it. I still like the idea that you had for the story and you could do a whole lot better things with it than this. What about that female lion? I mean you just randomly added that in there for no future benefit other than introducing the protagonist to Rarity? No, she was definitely a last minute bonus, no one writes about how you make yourself be as un-intimidating as you possible can to a lion for no reason other than to pick it up and bring it to Fluttershy. I mean, if you did just make it so you could introduce Rarity, then why didn't your very wise protagonist just try and see her be one of the ponies that was glaring at him in Ponyville? You could have even made him see her on the way TO Applejack's.
I could go on and on and on and on and on AND ON!!!!!! Lol i went on with the sizes...i bet you already saw that I did that thar though.
But it is 12:27 AM and I am plum tuckered out. I do, believe it or not, look forward to some reasonable answers to my outburst of sporadic and late-night emotions. If you are personally offended by anything I sincerely apologize. I also am interested in what you do in your later chapters to rectify (or not) some (if not all?) of these conundrums.
P.S. After reading my own comment I just thought I'd mention that I laughed at myself for saying
and then continuing with the main chunk of my comment. XD
1915877
I missed a semicolon, yes, but I was basing it off of very basic Java, are there any others I'm forgetting? (other than the obvious "Those aren't really commands!!!" one )
1941332
... first time I've heard that. Okay then *pulls up a chair* Let's hear it.
That-... that's something I'm going to need to look into. I very deliberately avoid repeating myself unless it's supposed to be important in some fashion. If I've done that, I need to look it over hard.
This is a slight misunderstanding of what happened. They combined due to a massive accident that only tangentially had to do with their horns touching. Their horns touching in of itself would not have done that, but because of the large number of mind-affecting spells, the layered spells on Twilight herself, Emeris' own half-hearted countermagic when he woke up, and their minds already being connected, all came together in a big mess of magical screw ups.
The spell Twilight cast explicitly noted not to touch horns between unicorns as it would seriously screw up that specific kind of spell. Otherwise, touching horns is merely an intimate act, roughly equivalent to kissing, as per Candence and Shining Armor.
There has been a considerable amount of time between the two situations. Emeris' has regained his mana/magical power/magic by this point, though that does not affect this specific situation. Twilight was "sucked in" for several reasons, primary amongst them is that she was pushing very hard against Emeris' mental defenses, but the moment she "asked" him to let her in, those mental defenses were basically gone. She didn't get "sucked in" so much as she "fell in".
This isn't how it's going to go, a large part of the next chapter is going to be the resolution of the conflicts between Twilight and Emeris and was actually originally intended as a form of forced bonding. The appearance otherwise (which does exist, I'm sorry about that ) is due to both of them being willing to put aside issues to get themselves separated as well as explicit character flaws of Emeris coming into play. The next chapter is intended to be much of the bonding time, as no, they don't understand one another, not really.
It's... the more realistic situation? Twilight isn't stupid, but was mostly misinformed due to things outside of her control. I have no desire to have a character not realize they were wrong when shown that they were simply for the sake of drama. It would have to be in-character, which I would not think would be the case for Twilight in this situation.
This, on the other hand, is a problem. Can you point to specific points that make it seem like this? This is not the intention and I would like to fix it.
Um... the prologue (and most of the story) is entirely from Emeris' point of view. He as a character is horrendously against being an alicorn due to his own time spent under his curse as a Gary Stu. I as a writer have no care either way about the body type. Note that Emeris, once he realized the body-type Twilight and himself now share, went effectively catatonic.
Twilight needs to run tests to figure out the baseline situation. She's doing so as a good scientist/doctor, because she has no idea what she's got to start off. She doesn't know what happened to herself and Emeris, and they need to know that in order to figure out what actually happened and how to fix it.
... um... what?
You... kinda lost me here, and I'm not able to parse what you're trying to convey...
This situation is temporary and is nowhere near the end of the story. Twilight and Emeris will be split apart within a chapter or two and I still have at least 10 more story arcs to go, each about 3 to 4 chapters long.
The tiger was used to characterize Emeris some in addition to forcefully introducing Rarity in a way that Emeris' character flaws could not get in the way of. It was done to show tat Emeris is a bit of a coward, but at the same time, his concern for other beings overrides his fears with a sprinkling of his cynicism and paranoia peeking through in his readiness to react to the tiger despite helping it. Additionally, it was to show rather than just tell about the contrast between his stated skills with animals in comparison to Fluttershy's.
I have no comment on possible future instances of the tiger.
Note, however, that I have no problem at all with the criticism, and if these things were not obvious, then I need to fix that
Pr-tip, ease up on the sizes, makes things easier to read
More seriously though, I hope my responses have been those reasonable answers you were hoping for, if they haven't been, please feel free to say so
Yeah, that was a bit ironic
1941332
I feel an overwhelming need to critique this critique... so I will!
First off, I want to establish the basic purpose of critiquing someone's work - to help the author make it better. If you don't agree with this statement, then you may as well skip the rest, because it's all based on that.
One of the first rules is to never say that something is "wrong". Authorship is an art, and while there are grammar rules that should be followed, there is no such thing as right or wrong in art. There are things that can be done better, or that disrupt the flow, or otherwise harm the feeling of the story - but always remember that your opinion is just that: your opinion. To claim otherwise is to put yourself in the wrong far worse than the flaw you are trying to point out.
Also, do not attack a story unless you want the author to stop writing. Negative feedback hits harder than positive feedback, and too much will kill any motivation that an author has.
Another guideline is to be clear on what you feel needs improvement. If you spot a specific mistake, quote it and tell the author why. Also be clear in your syntax, most of your rant is just that - a rant. Slow down, type clearly, and for the love of all things, don't play with font sizes. Doing so just gives an impression of immaturity.
Finally - NEVER tell the author what to do. If you dictate a story it's no longer the author's story, it's yours. You can suggest, you can ask, but do not order. There is nothing that MUST be done. If you truly feel that the author is doing a poor job, and that your's is the better way, then you should be writing your own story.
Following these guidelines should help you get your point across without sounding like a random internet hater.
As for the content of your rant - I have been given the privilege of seeing Andoriol's outline for this story, and this is no last minute decision. This, along with many other upcoming events have been worked into the story from it's inception. It will be one hell of a ride by the time it's over.
1942509 And YOU sir - you give away too many spoilers!
1953859
Spoilerz? Me? Nevah
All I said was that Emeris/Twilight's issues with each other weren't over yet
1942509
Well, two days later and already I get thumbed down for writing a comment that was formed from my honest opinion on the story at the time. (Guess I can't have an opinion that's different from some one elses ) Thankfully, your response seemed to be neutral and more receptive than somepony else apparently was.
I was vainly trying to outline what I would think I would do in your position to rectify this. I was also commenting from only what had been written in the story, and obviously did not have the whole picture that the author has when writing it. This, is a good thing, but can lead to questions or confused comments such as mine. Ya know, what separates me from just plain criticism to constructive criticism.
Also, I did read this story mainly on my iPhone, (ya know, on the go reading) so maybe the iPhone version could have bugs or some other glitch which may have caused me to herp and derp with reading similar paragraphs or something. Either way, I will continue my search for them because I specifically remember one instance where I even said in my mind "Hey, he just wrote this," but it was not exactly the same paragraph so it actually caused me to eyeball the two paragraphs to check if what I was thinking was valid. And I don't remember disproving myself so I'm going to have to say that I, like usual, made myself put a bookmark in it for later. (Even though I obviously eventually lost the bookmark since I can't remember where I read it )
In conclusion, the only thing that you haven't cleared up with your reply is something I didn't exactly initiate myself. This I will attempt to find out later (probably next chapter or something, I don't like writing more than one actual comment that can have its own thread of replies and other things).
Thanks for keeping a level head, because I know that I was just insecure about appearing dumb, so I put on a bluffing offense that I tried to use as a defense for the fact that I may have missed some things that you were trying to portray, that others got, that I did not get.
^ Self diagnosis of own psyche go!