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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So there's the reveal, I hope it was worth the wait and all the teasing I did
Obviously, that's not the whole thing, but that's the major piece I've been teasing about that no one's gotten.
Anyways, as always, comments are lurvleled because they FEED ME and I love to see that little notification pop up for them But honest criticism makes my day, so take off the kiddy gloves!
a +17000 words chapter right when i was going to sleep...
...
...
Who needed sleep anyway
Fir.......GOD DAMNIT, oh well good chapter. NOW BACK TO WORK......um..if you don't mind that is.
Well, thanks a bunch... You left me with an epic cliffhanger that's going to leave me pressing f5 for the rest of the week.
Also, Side note, the only thing I can think of that is the answer to the puzzle is nothing/silence. Nothing is nothing and yet it is an idea which makes it something: Vile has no colour, Black has no smell, Clouds make no sound, Death has no voice, and nothing/silence/absence of stimuli is pretty much garunteed to drive a person mad.
17000!! holy cripes!
thank you sir for giving me a NOVEL during this update "dry" spell (seriously thanks love your chapters)
1746646
Yeah, the thing was a bit bigger than originally intended
1746857
I know right? Get ready to go "First!" when all the sudden Nope! Gahhhhh. Frustratin. Thank you though! And I'd get back to work* if I had any to get back to
*Referring to actual career, paying work here, not the chapters, just to be clear. I still have a lot of stuff planned for this story.
1746892
It's not Nothingness btw, though that's a delightful guess and actually qualifies, it's not the key to which it is referring.
1746995
A novel is 50,000+ words, anything less than that is at best a novella or short story.
But yeah, mondo-update, actually surprised this one was as huge as it was
That's Twilight for you.
But merging minds? That is just plainly terrifying.
To be honest I'd figured as much that was Twilight's problem. Hopefully this will help with relations. . . Maybe. . .
Hmmm. . . would the answer be Remorse/Regret? Can't seem to think of anything else, werg.
On another note, I approve of AJ Math Tutoring.
Is his mental key: The guilt of allowing somepony to die due to the effects of his curse?
Not and Is could be the pony's body, the empty vessel that was once a pony.
The color of vile and smell of black could be the decomposition.
The sound of clouds could represent stillness or tranquility, or could represent popular notions of what Heaven is like.
The sight of the heartbeat of the Earth could be the contrast of seeing the life and vitality of nature that has abandoned the corpse.
The voice of Death could be just that, or it could be his conscience telling Emeris that it was his fault.
The song of madness could be his reaction to seeing all of this, or his denial of the situation with him burying this experience.
I'm expecting that the key is some kind of abstract, like an idea or emotion. If it turns out that it's an object, I will be disappoint.
1747076
That's Twilight for ya, want-it-need-it spell to create a problem to solve for her friendship report? Yep. Now what would she do to protect her friends from what she thinks is a rapist? I think this is actually rather mild.
1747214
1747243
Oooooh, I like. Not what I was thinking but I like!
1747361 I'm glad to hear that. Also, is your response to 1747214 a poker-face?
1747452
Yes and no. Beyond the Horizon didn't get it either. The poker face is more about the improving relations part
1747027
honestly, i think i am more anxious for the next chapter coming out than the next episode of MLP itself
1746995>>1746646
believe it or not, this entire thing was originally planned as a part of the last chapter! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png
oh wow. Nothing like a botched mind meld to work out all those problems, eh?
Why do I have the feeling that Twilight is going to have a lot more trouble getting out of Em's mind than she did getting in?
Could someone explain the reveal? The colored part made me confused as fuck.
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/24247351.jpg
Color tags are messed up here
1747661
Green text is Emeris' thoughts, purple text is Twilight. Italics are memories. The big reveal is that Twilight came really close to raping/being raped by Emeris when he was Gary.
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1747642
Because you're one smart cookie~
1747661
As Aburi said, green text is Emeris' thoughts, purple text is Twilight's thoughts, italic sections are memories. The big reveal is a two parter: As suspected, Twilight came really close to raping/being raped by Emeris while he was still an alicorn, but also that no one could even speak about Gary without the stupid-magic kicking in. No one knew anything real about him except what they saw themselves, everything they ever heard about him was fake gushing. This is the reason that so many ponies kept thinking his name was Gary despite him telling ponies that, by rights, should've talked to each other about him. I tried to put in as many hints in the previous chapters that this was the case
I'm sorry that section is confusing, but that's mostly intentional, as both of our PoV characters are confused as hell and their mind(s) are in turmoil, Most of this plot arc will actually be in Third Person Limited from other ponies perspectives to cut down on reader confusion
1747773
*cracks knuckles* I ain't even done with the mindfuck yet
1747877
Ohh geez. . . this isn't going Veil of Thoughts on us is it?
1747899
Good catch, that is actually one of the two main inspirations for this arc, however, this arc has far less of a downer ending than that (otherwise wonderful) story. This is not permanent, but it's definitely going to be problematic in more ways than one. I want to gush about it, but... as Impulse might say: Oops, spoilerz
1747924
Of course that story is getting a sequel, Beyond the Veil of Thoughts, I believe.
1747877
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m48gmxfbxM1qlfw08o1_500.gif
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md2n35tdGn1qm4g8f.gif
Okay, so Twilight does have some damn good reasons for acting like she did.
Still saying it's at least partially because on some level she still likes him, in some way. Doesn't even have to be in a romantic sense.
Twilight you're brilliant, but sometimes you just do dumb things.
Emmy needs some guy friends. These mares are just confusing him.
1747361 When you put it like that, I cannot imagine if Twilight decided to get more serious on the matter in comparison to just mind merging.
1747945
Ooh, sweet.
1747983
I really want to be all "CONSIDER IT BRUNG" but the mindfuckery in the next few chapters is going to be relatively mild. Hell, the only mindfucks I currently have planned for the story that fit the criterion of actually bringing it on are far later in the story
So bringing it is gonna have to wait a bit. But once I can...
1748028
And you doubted me
Completely reasonably by the way, it was really awkward writing Twilight what felt so OOC for her for so long, I was happy to get to this chapter as dancing around the reveal was rather difficult. It'll be nice to be able to write her in a way more in-line with canon.
1748051
Lesson Zero. Case closed.
Also, Emmy's problem is culture-shock which he isn't even aware of yet. Stallions wouldn't exactly be a huge help
1748052
As I said, this is actually rather mild and banks off of Twilight's good nature and the fact that her beloved mentor told her straight to her face to trust him. With this in mind, her initial reaction to him should make more sense
/color] No!.... ummmmm found that! But its very good! Really do not want to wait for the next update.
1748092
At this point he needs a guy to show him the ropes. The culture shock is obvious and he may never get all the finer points in his life. I'm surprised he is not wearing pants all the time.
1748092
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/27355324.jpg
Shit, poor guy can't catch a fucking break can he?
If the key is "Gary Stu" I will laugh. And laugh. And laugh.
But I think it could also possibly be "Life".
1747877 so, you are saying that ponies saw what they wanted to see in Gary, and if they mentioned him he would appear and the gse would make him alpha or something? Also what is fake gushing?
1748099
Sadly, I cannot type/think at lightspeed, and as such, you must
1748121
Remember that he's had 2 years to adjust to being a pony, and that, for the most part, he can consider that he's succeeded. I haven't drawn attention to it much, but it's safe to assume that now that he doesn't have wings in the way, he's often times wearing that pink vest out of habit and the remnants of his nudity taboo. That and pants aren't very comfortable for ponies.
Also: Why do you think I'd be that nice to Emeris to have it all just told to him?
1748133
Not a god damned one
1748161
DINGDINGDINGDINGDING
2.bp.blogspot.com/-ELJNcD-46Ig/Tbk-ZfRFtII/AAAAAAAABC0/mbqbUaO18-I/s400/winner10.jpg
Well, at least close enough. Specifically: It's his experiences as an alicorn and under the power of his curse.
It's not a physical thing, but it's tangible and something you can talk about. It's something that should not be, but was.
It was vile in the worst sense of the word but the colors and sight of things it caused were the most terrible to him. The look in ponies eyes when talking to him, the sights he saw... it was horrid in the worst sense.
The smell of black refers to the death that always seemed to follow him, the smell of charred wood, the smell of terrible diseases that 'only he could cure'. It also refers to some of the horrors from beyond that he faced, in which case the smell of black is Lovecraftianly literal.
The sound of clouds is something special to Emeris, it's one of his good memories of that time, flying through clouds and just listening to them pass by.
The heartbeat of the earth is something he could actually see, there's no words for it that any human can express. What words in language can express what it's like to look down at the world while flying under your own power, and to truly see its heartbeat, to see the magma flow through the rock, to feel and see the thermal currents in the molten core, to just know in your heart that it beats with the pulse of the world. It's an awesome feeling in the oldest and purest sense of the word. It was humbling and awe inspiring, and it's something that will stay with him forever.
The voice of death refers to the death screams he heard far too often, as well as the actual voices of these terrible beings he had to fight and the death of the soul that so many ponies seemed to undergo in his presence.
The song of madness... was really the entire experience as well as the presence of *true* Lovecraftian horrors, not merely false ones summoned by his curse (Though Emeris doesn't realize this and thinks they all were). It also refers to something else which I won't spoil.
So yes, the key is (essentially) "Having been Gary Stu". Here's your cookie:
rlv.zcache.com/have_a_cookie_sticker-p217093694599105138envb3_400.jpg
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If they mentioned him, the curse would make them talk about him like he was TEH MOST AWESOM THING EVAH the way you expect people to gush about a Mary Sue/Gary Stu in true bad fanfiction. No one actually felt that way about him (Except kinda sorta Dash), but they talked like that about him no matter how hard they tried not to. Nothing they said about him was really what they wanted to say or even the truth, and as such, no one really knew jack shit about Gary.
Emeris thought they only acted like that in his immediate presence and didn't realize that merely talking or writing about him was enough to cause it to happen. Even trying to *communicate* about him in round-about ways like "You know who" wouldn't work as their mouths just said "Gary", followed by retarded fangirlisms with varying degrees of retardation/OOC-ness involved. What we see in the Prologue is actually the heavily toned-down version of that, as he's limiting the power severely.
Does that make more sense?
1748305 awww darn! ehhh whatever gotta check up some other stuff anyways!
1748305 yes it does. Thank you.
So I come home and check if there are any updates and to my utter delight, there was one. The problem is, I'm meant to be studying for a test... Screw that.
When you call it rape, I don't really consider it rape. I consider it unwanted consensual sex. Like when you are drunk, you are okay with the sex, but you don't want to do it, but because of the alcohol or magic in the story's case, you're mind is too clouded to think properly and you end up agreeing to it. Rape is when you are able to fight back, but are doing so unsuccessfully or w/o consent of any kind. Being unconsious counts as no consent of any Kind. Under the curse Gary could get consent from anybody, but it is not considered real consent by Emeris or probably anybody unaffected by the curse because their mind was clouded.
1748440
Wrong. Ponies are fully conscious of what they are doing under the effects of the curse, they simply have no control over it. Their minds are not clouded in the least, but their bodies are not under their control at all, nor does fighting it have any visible effect.
That's rape. There's no real consent at all. Part of the horror of the situation and the curse is that even as their mouths and bodies not only say yes, but in some cases try to rape him, their mind, their souls, they fight it every step of the way to no point.
You have to watch as your body does something that horrifies and disgusts you, listen to words come out of your mouth that you don't mean in the least, truly begging for something that horrifies you.
Even though Emeris only suspected this rather than knowing it, it horrified him appropriately and should help explain the sheer hostility most ponies feel towards him.
I am honestly at this point eagerly anticipating the town's eventual attack on him, and the mane six standing up for him. At least it seems to be heading in that direction, now that we know every pony he has ever met other than Celestia, and maybe Dash who apparently did admire him that much, has hated, HATED him for two years straight.
.... how the hell does this go by so fast. Seriously those 17k works just flew by and have already left me wanting more!
Obviously an you would not be that nice, but Emmy seems to be the kind of guy that asks for help if something is bothering him.
1748625
Pinkie Pie's party is going to be interesting when it finally rolls around
Note, however, that this isn't the whole story yet! I haven't shown every aspect of the curse and its effect on ponies just yet, just the main ones
1748640
Lots and lots of practice, took me years to get that right. My dad's taste in literature leans far more towards the Action Movie In Novel Form as well as Hemmingway, and he pushed me towards writing like that. It's been a very welcome growth from what I originally wrote like, which was excessive info-dumps and walls-o-text. There are a large number of tricks to it, but the biggest two are breaking things up into small paragraphs and telling as little as possible to convey what's happening to the reader
1748662
He does (nice catch)! But his "Non-confrontation" aspect of his personality, a very definite flaw of his, takes precedence. Note how every time he's been confused about social norms (or at least noticed the disparity), he's been told to drop it and/or something has distracted him from the weirdness. Once he realizes (vaguely) what's going on, he's going to have a sit-down and talk it out with his friends, who happen to be mares, and figure it out. That's just going to happen after a few more "misunderstandings"
1748305
i.imgur.com/nEBhv.gif
This story nis getting better with every chapter.
Looking forward to the next instalment.
do want moar!
Yeah, finally the cat is out. Now Twilight and Emerick can start again as friend…or at least, she will be more tolerable and after some depth thoughts will consider forgive him.
And then Emerick will get another friend of the main 6, he is almost complete with all the sorries with them. And its looks like love is starting to emerge, true and respectful love, and Rariy (and possible Twilight once, they will become friends) will help him all the way when he fall in love with some pony. I bet it will be Luna.
Well I didn't expect something like this to happen in this chapter, shows what I know. Good chapter though, it's getting better and better each chapter, looking forward to more.
17,000 words? sleep is for the weak!