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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm actually mostly happy with this chapter, I'm iffy on my characterization of Dash still, but it's passable. The only issue is that I didn't get as far as I'd expected. I'd hoped to get the sparring done with and move on to what Twilight encountered, but... well... I was running long.
Anyways, if you dislike something, don't be afraid to tell me in either a PM or in a comment! I could very well change it!
Also:
Will Dash beat the ever-loving shit out of Emeris? Or just turn him into a grease spot on the floor?! How does she actually feel about the human-turned-stallion?! And what is up with Twilight this time?!
Find out next time on... well... Consequences of Unoriginality doesn't really have a ring to it like most anime titles so... hm...
Anyways! Stay tuned~!
I liked it, I think Dash's character is well within believable bounds, I love the issue you gave her with whether or not she is attracted in some form to Emeris. Made for some good laughs too. Another good chapter, and I'm curious as to what is going to happen before Twilight comes to her senses and realises that he is not a threat in any way, or at least not in the fact that he is no longer Gary.
Emeris will beat the living daylights out of dash
Oh fuck, I’m Shinji Ikari.
Best line on the entire site.
1621527
Glad you think so! It just made me grind my teeth for a good while because it felt wrong when I first wrote it, but as my prereader pointed out, it was mostly some key points that needed changing.
There's only about two/three more major 'events' before Twilight and Emeris have their heart-to-heart and we find out what's going on in her head
It was going to be next chapter, but this one ran on longer than anticipated, so it'll be the chapter after next.
1621593
Well, he'll try, that's for sure
1621653
Unfortunately, it's not an original, but yes, it was delightful to be able to include it
1621687 For some reason, I keep thinking nutshots are gonna be abundant in the next chapter...
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MORE! please
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Well that took an unexpected turn, can't wait for whats to come.
uh
what
1621777
1621805
Workin on it between applications!
1621962
Sadly, you'll have to wait
Just hopefully not long
I know exactly where the next chapter is going
1621964 1622025
Da faq, how'd I miss that?!
Thank you, that was part of the notes to my editor and prereader, damn, how the fuck'd that hide in there...
I do like this fic more and more with every next chapter. Moar !
And one remark:
This seams to be author comment, but it is formatted similar to other text and is a bit confusing while reading.
Could you do an alternative version where "Gary Stu" is actually hated?
1622002
As long as you keep up the great work I'll gladly wait.
Next time on Kimari monku no eikyō!
Probably a shit translation, google translate and all that. Still kinda sounds like some kind of anime... Maybe.
And 'Unoriginality' isn't a word, apparently... At least it doesn't translate, so Consequences of Cliche was the closest I got...
Still, awesome story, radical chapter, cool characters, and generally approved by Rainbow Dash's vocabulary
"I may have been Celestia’s hound on a leach"
That must be quite a sight...
I think you got Rainbow down pretty well. Yes let's put him through an obstacle course the day after he gets out of a hospital.
Cancer doesn't exist in here? Weird.
So twilight's trying to kill him now? And rainbow likes his awesomeness but his real self isn't very awsome... he's screwed
1622037
... I... um... could you run that by me again? What do you mean by an 'alternative version where 'Gary Stu' is actually hated'? As far as I can tell, Rainbow Dash, Celestia, and Luna are the only characters that actually like Emeris/Gary-Stu at first rather than hate/fear/disliked the way Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Twilight...
1622074
Rightos!
1622157
Eeeeeeeeeeee! / /
This quite possibly made my day.
*ding* Fucks Not Given: 1
1622270
It must have.
Thanks, fixed
1622378
Thank you!
And yeah, that's intended to be weird. It definitely made Emeris go "... wait, what?"
1622417
Who... said... Twilight was trying to kill him...?
And Rainbow liked Gary's awesome, but Emeris seems totally lame and unawesome, but then he goes and does something awesome in the oldest sense of the word by leveling a portion of the Everfree, but when she goes to talk to him he seems like a total lame-ass egghead without the brains to go with it like Twilight... but then he goes and acts like a totally cool badass when he runs the course and what the buck is this shit?!
He confuses the hell out of her
1622417
Remember this from the previous chapter,
1623211okay but in this chapter something changed... i don't remember exactly what she said but she wanted him alone and she is determinedly to convince everyone he's bad and leveling part of the evrfree forest is not helping him and the pack was under a spell to try to harm him or applebloom to reveal his totally destructive side... it was helpful but destructive and non evil tho
1622157
You're looking for something like "dokusō-sei ni kakeru no kiketsu" (独創性に欠けるの帰結), my friend.
"Dokusō-sei ni kakeru" (独創性に欠ける) breaks down into "originality" (独創性) and "lacking in" (に欠ける), while "kiketsu" (帰結) means "conclusion, outcome, consequence", so it all literally means "consequence(s) of lacking in originality".
Kōun watashi no yūjin. Atode o ai shitai.
my favorite story on this site right now
FEED HIM COMMENTS!
FOR MOAR CHAPTERZ!!!!!!
COOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEZ!!!!!1
Hmmmm......... Like what I said last chapter, I may be reading too many romance fics. Because I can't stop seeing an Applejack/Emeris/Rainbow love triangle
Damn Rainbow you iz crazy! fighting a guy who just got out of the hospital, crazy crazy mare...I like it
1622588 I mean that Emmerise in his alicorn form instead of being mobbed by adoring fanmares and fanstallions (must now how Justin Beiber feels) he is hated by every pony instead for being "too perfect" if your still confused read the "Red mained black alicorn called Mary Sue" to understand properly
1624084
Gonna address this right now: Twilight doesn't want Gary/Emeris dead or even injured, she wants him gone. She wants him to be exiled or sent far, far away forever. But she doesn't want him hurt or dead.
1624356
... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
That said, since you obviously have more knowledge of Japanese than me, was what Sixpence suggested viable? A direct translation isn't as important as something catchy sounding, and Consequences of Cliche is perfectly appropriate as a title
1624673
Thanks!
1624839
No no no, you're doing it wrong. This is more appropriate:
COOKIES FOR THE COOKIE GOD!!! COMMENTS FOR THE COMMENT THRONE!
1625678
Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong
1625854
Yeaahhhh... not one of her brightest moments, and not one of Emeris' either for letting her goad him into it
1626032
This actually defeats the purpose of the character in some ways. Without the reality warping effects of the GSE (the monsters and the mind-rape), Emeris wouldn't be loved, but he also wouldn't be hated. He's modest and kind, but he has his flaws, and the "l33t SKILLZ" of his curse don't extend into everything, Rarity would've still been a better seamstress for example.
He's not like Mary in the story you mentioned, he's not oblivious to what he is, nor is he oblivious to how people might feel if you just suddenly do something better than they do, especially something they love and consider their greatest talent.
If he had initially appeared without the mind-warping effects of the GSE, no one really would've hated him the way you mention, especially not for being "too perfect", there are a number of factors that keep him from appearing to be such.
I also don't subscribe to the thought that IC, a red mane and black coat (or vice-versa) is hated in any way, let alone how the fandom perceives it.
If you're suggesting the GSE instead making everyone hate him rather than love him... it would be a fundamentally different story. Celestia would be protecting him and far more doting/loving, as he would need the affection desperately, and once the curse was broken, ponies would not hate him, instead, they'd likely be trying to comfort him for what he'd gone through.
There's a large difference in the horror of your mouth saying things you don't want to and it begging someone to essentially rape you... and the horror of your mouth saying terrible, hateful things that you don't believe, verbally tearing someone down. It's one kind of horror to have your body try and force itself, against your will, onto someone else, it's an entirely different horror for your body to try and hurt or even kill someone against your will while you watch.
Now, on the other hoof, if you're suggesting him remaining an alicorn after the GSE has been removed, that could be workable, but a part of the story and drama is how much lesser Emeris is without that magic, and how he's happy with that.
If you mean something else though, um, yeah, I totally haven't thought of it, so... yeah
1626032
While interesting, that would be a totally different story. For more reasons than the obvious.
1625678
Yup, definitely too many shipfics... It's not like there's a romance tag on this one.
1622417
Twilight may have had a small lesson zero moment here, but she did just save his life. I think her motives are still the same from last chapter. Something may have happened, but nothing has changed per se.
1626113
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1626113 that was I was sayin sorry if it was unclear but yeah that would be awesome if you could
1626113
Sixpence had "kimari monku no eikyō" (決まり文句の影響), which breaks down into "kimari monku" (決まり文句) and "eikyō" (影響). The latter literally means "impact, influence, effect," while the former breaks down into "rule, regulation, custom, habitual practice" (決まり) and "complaint" (文句), and together means something like "cliché, formula, byword, platitude, boilerplate (describing text of a standard or routine nature);" so, it's not exactly suited to this particular context, but rather a situation where an hackneyed expression is involved, such as "a penny saved is a penny earned." The context is important after all, since you aren't referring to unoriginal phrases, and are instead referring to unoriginal tropes and archetypes.
In short: the original translation technically functions, but is not as context-specific as it could be.
While the literal translation is "consequence(s) of lacking in originality," it would certainly be streamlined to "consequence(s) of unoriginality," since that essentially means the same thing as the former in English.
1626229
AHAHAHAHAHA!!! MY POWER NOW RIVALS THAT OF SLAANESH! COOKIES FOR THE COOKIE GOD! COMMENTS FOR THE COMMENT THRONE!
...
The God-Emperor of Mankind + His Mighty Steed/Partner Celestia Vs Chaos Gods = Equestria Separated from the Imperium, taking the Elements of Harmony with it and forever dooming that universe, the Imperium misunderstanding the situation due to bad archiving and no Emperor to correct them after the Heresy = Initial hatred of Xenos due to perceived 'stealing' of the elements of harmony and abandonment of the Emperor.
This must happen. Somehow, somewhere.
1626498
Which one? If you mean the "The GSE instead made everyone hate him" one, I just might do a sidestory of that one after I get further into this one, but not the others, sorry.
1628758
Damn, the Spoofy-Manga-Title is even more unwieldy than the english one Not a huge surprise or anything, but damn, that had been an amusing thought. Thank you for the information! Though sadly, as much as I hope to eventually learn Japanese, that went in one ear and out the other
you tease, leaving us with a cliffhanger like that with rainbow and twilight's plan. can't wait to find out what was done that made twilight so angry.
though it would be interesting if not i this fic then in an omake or au if gary had kept or grew back his wings but the curse didnt reapear
update soon
1628841 that one, I'd do it my self but when Ponyville attacks him it gets graphic also as an extra bit the GSE effect won't heal him in this story what about that?
1626131
Well the love triangle was seriously the first thing that came to my mind, as is, the mile second that dash mentioned her problem with Gary.
Sure I knew romance was to be expected but if that's my first thought to mind then damn I need to lay off shipping fics for awhile.
Um, I may not be an expert on myths, but I'm pretty sure its Tartarus, not tartoros. Other than that, nice update dude.
"Autobots! Haul ass!"
Welcome to the 21st century, Optimus. So glad you could join us.
...Yeah, Emeris is going to be dealing with psychological issues for a long time, isn't he?
On a mostly unrelated note, how severely was Celestia personally affected by the Gary Stu Effect? Emeris didn't ever notice her simpering at him, but it has been stressed that nobody has all the pertinent information.
1630759
I know, I'm evil
1631007
Well, depends on what kind of story you want it to be. The GSE likely would heal him, and due to the GSE, he's likely more than powerful enough to not let himself be hurt, the problem comes from not hurting others. I'll likely do it as a side story myself once I get further into this one so I don't risk spoiling some key plot points in these first two/three story arcs.
1631353
Ah Shipping-Goggles, such a terrible curse. You're not wrong btw.
1635880
Whoops
1653182
Bit of an understatement here. He's unwillingly been under the GSE for two full years, and in that time, he's seen things worse than what most cops, firemen, Emergency Room doctors, and soldiers see in their entire careers, and this is in addition to the social isolation and the common molestations while he is interacting with others, with knowledge that them succeeding in raping him means that he also raped them...
Well... the fact that Emeris is reasonably sane is intended to speak volumes about his mental stability and willpower. This does not mean, however, that there are no cracks in his mental foundation/armor.
She wasn't affected by it at all, but that doesn't mean that she understands the full ramifications of the full effects of the curse. The pieces are there, but she doesn't even realize that there's another puzzle.
1653408
I'm not confident enough in his mental state to assert that he's actually sane right now, but your being the author does put you in a position to know.
By 'another puzzle' do you refer to the various knock-on effects that shutting down the Gary Stu Field has had, such as allowing other ponies to view him with distrust? I'm convinced that she's worried on Spike's behalf.
1653507
This depends heavily on how you define sanity. If you mean sane as in "Not going to go out and hurt people and able to mostly function in society"? Then he's very sane. Otherwise? Ehhhhhh....
Comments, I haz none.
1653580 Comments, I haz none.
Nonsense, you have pages of the darned things. Oh, did you mean spoilerific comments? Silly me.
In seriousness, I'll grant that remaining functional is quite the accomplishment for Our Intrepid Hero (and, oh, how he would seethe if he were described so!).
1653408
thats.... some REALLY tiny font you got there sir... thank celestia i can see it by selecting and right clicking it
1653716
Huh. You must have better eyes than I do; I hadn't even noticed that text there!
1653408 yes but when your mobbed by an intire town there's only so much you can do
hmmmm, i notice you added the sex tag on this story......
...
...
...
how soon?
(p.s. if it was there all along and i was just blind, then im sorry for being blind)
1653691
Yep! And much seething wouldst be had were he to hear himself being called a hero, let alone the protagonist
1653716
You're not completely correct either btw
1656883
Remember: Faster than Rainbow Dash and an Alicorn. He can get away from the physical harm rather easily, it's the social and mental harm that's devestating and unavoidable. At least in this situation.
1657307
It's been there the whole time, and it's still a solid ways off, from my outline, we're looking at about 8 or 9 chapters before we get to the clop. While I might write clop for clops sake if people want it, this story takes itself just a bit too seriously to throw it in before all of those involved are ready, which at earliest would be 5 chapters away if the next two story arcs don't take as much space/wordcount as I'm allotting for them.
1661257 true but there are over ways: surprise attacks, Vinyl playing something painful (Cough Justin Beiber cough) and Pinkie's reality altering powers also the monsters would be twice as strong
Celestia's Hound, a Dog of the Millitary!
. . .I can't believe I didn't make an FMA reference before.
You know this is a really good fic, I mean My Little Dashie couldn't even bring tears to my eyes but damn I don't know why this effects me so much lol really good fic.
What on earth is Shinji Ikari?