• Member Since 21st Aug, 2023
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A casual fanfic writer who stumbled down a bit of a MLP: FiM obsession hole, hence the existence of this account.


A Company of Astartes has touched down on Equestria, intent on wiping out its heretical xeno inhabitants. Surprisingly enough, this ends somewhat favorably for all parties involved, and thanks to the Administratum of all institutions.

WARNING: This story contains flagrant canon defilement, horrifically out-of-character Astartes, heresy on crack, and bureaucratic red tape. Take seriously at your own risk.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

Yeah, yeah... yeah

This checks out.

Take the like. Gotta love the literal endless contradictory tape of the administratum.

That was fun. A bit easy maybe, what with Muhreens being fine with unsanctioned psyker xenos and not raising an eyebrow at the sound of "we indirectly worship people named Celestia and Luna" (A quick search shows me there is a loyalist chapter called the Celestials and the Celestian elite SoB, but also the Celestarii heretic cult, the Necron-made Celestial Orrery… and of course the Luna Wolves).
But I guess the Raptors chapter could belieavably put dogma aside and pragmatically file the pones under the "mostly harmless" category. And poor Antonius' aversion to paperwork is extremely relatable

This was entertaining, and I know almost nothing of Warhammer 40k.

Well, to be fair, Antonius is right. Sure, the ponies are unsanctioned psyker xenos, but the Imperium has much, much bigger fish to fry, and Antonius is correct in his assumption that the time he would have spent filling out that stupidly huge form and then waiting for the Imperial Bureaucracy to process it would be much better spent dealing with the myriad orks, chaos cultists, and other threats out there.

Bureaucracy, or die
I choose die

Fortunately Antonius found a third option. A mildly heretical option, mind you, but still.

Ri2 #7 · Tuesday · · ·

Oh yeah, I remember the story this is based on.

Oh, look. A retard bot trying to be smarter than it actually is :twilightangry2:.

My thoughts exactly. The bit about the title is somewhat accurate, but it seems to think the story is longer (and far more coherent and reasonable) than it actually is.

Spend months fighting friendly if seemingly stupid colorful ponies that look at you and your weapons before thinking 'we can befriend it'....

Spend the same amount of time filling out the paperwork...

Or check of two check marks and spent that time doing something useful.

If this has TTS then we have let worse into the imperium (look at the cat people and despair)

This was brilliant and had me giggling while reading

And better yet, they can nip any accusations of heresy in the bud by saying the magical words “take it up with the Administratum”, because in this universe their offices are a place worse than death for literally any human but them.

I like to imagine that, several centuries later, after a long, perilous journey, the paperwork finally arrives on Terra. It's dropped off at the desk of an Administratum scribe who is literally buried in a backlog of scrolls. A decade or so later, the scribe is just about to start reciting the Litany of Form Checking or whatever when he suddenly dies of a stroke. The paperwork sits there for over a century until the Administratum finally realizes that he's dead and starts filing the meter-thick stack of forms needed to assign a replacement. Finally, it's approved, archived, and filed away.

And meanwhile, a completely different Administratum scribe is getting fed up with all the reports he keeps recieving from Commanders claiming that they’ve served alongside a Guard Regiment that is supposedly made up entirely of intelligent low-gothic-speaking brightly colored horselike xenos that are somehow labeled as humans in the paperwork and asking how this is legal. Because such an absurd turn of events obviously couldn’t possibly happen in the modern-day Imperium, right? *wink wink*

It’s worse than you think. Antonius had a choice between spending months filling out a form, waiting months for a responce, and then spending months fighting the harmless-yet-hard-to-kill xenos… or just filling out the human form and calling it a day.

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