• Member Since 20th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen April 19th

Spica


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Kiki, a small earth pony living of a farm deep into the heart of Equestria, has always admired the pegasi and their wonderful flight. In her birthday, she receives a very special gift from her parents, with the help of some faraway ponies.

If there is some artist who perchance reads this story and would like to contribute with art for its cover, I would be so much grateful. I hope you all enjoy this, written for the Heart Warming write off event. I hope that Kiki herself can enjoy it, and that it helps her, even if just a little.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 1 )

good but found some errors.

“What kind of ponies are them?”

should be they not them.

Kiki bite on one of them hungrily.

its bit not bite.

The small pony cried.

why did she cry and how? its not very descriptive here but then again I'm nitpickin'. :twilightsheepish:

“We too, Kiki. Take care of yourself, ok?”

We should be Us.

“Get on fine, girl! See you!”

...um,what? thats kinda hard to make sense of somewhat. :unsuresweetie:

I talked to Rainbow Dash and she helped me taking Kiki to a trip around Cloudsdale.

just a suggestion here but you should add the word by after the word me. it feels a bit like a speed bump when reading it like it is now.

other than that it was awesome! :scootangel:

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