Kiki, a small earth pony living of a farm deep into the heart of Equestria, has always admired the pegasi and their wonderful flight. In her birthday, she receives a very special gift from her parents, with the help of some faraway ponies.
If there is some artist who perchance reads this story and would like to contribute with art for its cover, I would be so much grateful. I hope you all enjoy this, written for the Heart Warming write off event. I hope that Kiki herself can enjoy it, and that it helps her, even if just a little.
Chapters (1)
good but found some errors.
should be they not them.
its bit not bite.
why did she cry and how? its not very descriptive here but then again I'm nitpickin'.
We should be Us.
...um,what? thats kinda hard to make sense of somewhat.
just a suggestion here but you should add the word by after the word me. it feels a bit like a speed bump when reading it like it is now.
other than that it was awesome!