• Published 6th Oct 2012
  • 11,687 Views, 762 Comments

Becoming Rainbow Dash: A Tale of Two Worlds - Freescript the Bard

Markus wakes up in Rainbow Dash's body in his bed on Earth

  • ...

Is This Some Elaborate Scheme to Take Over the World?

<> Day 0 <>

C'mon, Tara, John grumbled. Pick up your phone, damn it!

A faint crackle was heard on the other end. "J-John?" said an extremely shaky female voice. John de Lancie shrugged, guessing this was another voice the actress was trying out.

"Hey, Tara. I was wondering if you heard anything from Lauren yet," John said into the mouthpiece of his cell phone. "She isn't answering my calls, and we were meeting today. Could you possibly see if you could contact her?"

"I-I… would except…" Tara's new voice stuttered, "it's hard to dial on a phone without fingers…"

<> Day 1 <>

I didn't need to look at the headline. The photo was all I needed.

On the front page of the newspaper was a blurry color photo, taken with a subpar camera. It was the front of a house, more specifically, a window looking into the interior. In the window, slightly more blurred than the rest of the, photo, was a pure white figure, and what looked like a rainbow hanging off the head. The house, according to the caption, was Lauren Faust's.

It… it's Princess Celestia… but… My curiosity finally overtaking my shock, I took the time to read the article.

This photo was taken yesterday by a novice photographer, Joe Schissel, while the nineteen-year-old was walking home after attending what he calls in an interview with CNN a 'brony meet-up'. Schissel saw the figure in the window, and fumbled for his cellphone's camera setting.
"There's no question about it," exclaims Schissel in his interview, "that was Princess Celesta, in Lauren Faust's house!"
The house in the photo was indeed the home of Lauren Faust, executive producer for the popular girls' cartoon, 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'. Princess Celestia, the name mentioned by Schissel, is the ruler of Equestria, the fictional setting of the show, and personal mentor to the main character, a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle…

I stopped reading, sitting back on my haunches in absolute shock. I'm not alone… The thought echoed around my head, banging against the walls of my skull. I'm not alone… A mix of emotions fought for control of my attention. One was pity, that others had to experience this horrible fate, another was fear, that this… condition …was spreading and causing more and more chaos, and the last was elation. Elation that there were others in the world, feeling my pain and sympathizing with me. Eventually, the strongest emotion won out over its inferiors, and a large grin split Rainbow Dash's face. I'm not alone!

Whoa… slow down, Markus, I told myself, you don't know how severe the situation is. It could just be two or three more people that were affected. Silently, I pondered how I could find out just what the extent was. Where could I find information about vague topics and weird stuff? I promptly facehoofed. "Where else?!" I asked the world. "To the Internet!" Dear Celestia, that sounded awesome in Rainbow Dash's voice.

With my spirits high, I hopped down from the couch and trotted over to the top of the stairs… Oh come on! I cursed inwardly at the terraced surface.

I eyed the steps as if each one was a predator that wished harm upon my borrowed body. With the excitement of my discovery still pumping through my head, I worked as fast as possible, running strategies and their respective scenarios in my head, visualizing the result. Each one ended in the same way: me tripping or stumbling down the steps. No other alternative in mind, I turned to thinking outside the box. How would Rainbow Dash walk down steps? I paused for a slight moment, pondering this, then facehoofed. She would glide down! You're a pegasus now, you incompetent buffoon!

Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the twitching muscles of my wings. Slowly, I inched the feathered appendages out until they were full-spread, then locked them in place with a slight incline. Hopefully those lessons at aviation camp help. Opening my eyes, I surveyed the air in front of me. I would have to keep myself balanced enough for the entire glide, or else risk physical harm.

Wait… why the hell am I being cautious? the part of me that was Rainbow Dash asked. If I have to be the Element of Loyalty, I'm gonna make her proud that I'm the one inhabiting her body! Giving a determined grin, I narrowed my eyes and threw caution to the wind. Then, I threw myself to the wind. I pushed off the top step with a powerful shove of my hind-legs. In a panic moment of hanging over open air, I half expected to crash painfully. I held my hooves out, bracing for the crunching impact…

But the only impact I felt was the soft touch of my hooves to the carpeting. Holy… that was… Adrenaline flowed through my veins, pumping behind my eyes and into my brain. The rush made my pupils dilate and my heartbeat increase. Bucking awesome! I felt like I could take down the entire changeling army! Is this how Dash feels after she flies? Confidence irradiated my body, daring the world to a challenge.


I shook the feeling off. However amazing it felt, I still had things to do! A new determination in me, I trotted off to my computer. Placing my fore-hooves on my chair, I hoisted myself up (thank Celestia for hollow pegasus bones) and into the chair. Facing the computer, I moved for the power button… God damn it, I don't have fingers! In frustration at my rotten luck, I slammed my hoof onto the table, spilling the cup of pencils and pens.

I stared at the pile of writing utensils, an idea coming to me. Facehoofing at my own stupidity, I rolled a pencil over to where I could pick it up between my teeth. With my de facto finger, I pressed the power button, the screen coming to life and displaying my Princess Luna background. Oh Luna, you are best pony… I thought fleetingly.


A Skype message? I glanced down at the icon, a number one floating above it. Placing my hoof on the mouse, I moved the cursor to the icon and clicked with the tip of my hoof. Their credentials are blank… My eyes narrowed suspiciously. It seemed too coincidental, what with me turning into a pony the very same day. I shook my head, laughing at the notion. C'mon, no one knows about me being a pony. The chances of the two being connected is low. It's probably some government guy that wants me to do a survey or something. Reassured that it was nothing to be worried about, I clicked on the message and began to read.

> Why so blue, Mr. Knight? Of course, I would be down in the dumps as well if I was disembodied. I suppose you are wondering who I am, but that information is restricted for the moment. For now, I await your reply, writer, as I am in need of your services.

That was it. No name or profile picture, just the cryptic message. I sat back in my seat, baffled. Who was that, and how did he know about me? This guy knows something, I thought decisively. Maybe he knows what happened, and possibly how to undo it! Excited at the prospect, I typed a reply with the pencil in my mouth.

>I'm here

>Oh good. I was worried you had ignored my obviously insane-sounding text. You must be so perplexed about me, but that isn't why I contacted you. You see, I am in need of a chronicler, someone to record my rise to power. My associate and I have plans for this wonderfully chaotic world, and you will have the honor of writing the story of my conquest. So for you to better understand the situation, I've invoked the first part of my plan upon you. I must apologize though, as typing with hooves seems like a hassle.

I blinked. The reply came almost as soon as I hit 'send', faster than I had time to think. Did… he just say… hooves?! I reread the message over and over, my teeth clenching tighter and tighter. Whoever he was, he did this to me. He turned me into Rainbow Dash, and made me go through all this chaos! Now I can't even type a flipping story without fingers! He stole my life!

Finally, the pencil between my teeth snapped. The sound brought me out of my rage to stare at the shattered pieces of wood. Like the shattered pieces of my life… I thought grimly. This thought echoed back, and spelled something else. A revelation brought on my the broken pencil.

"No," I stated out loud, Rainbow Dash's voice adding a hardened edge. "You may have stolen my body, my life, and possibly my very humanity, but if there's one thing you can't ever take from me, it's writing. So, whoever you are, if you think you can stop me from being loyal to what I love, you have another thing coming!" I stood up on my chair, raising my hoof in defiance. "Because I am the Element of Loyalty, and I will never abandon what I enjoy the most in life!"

My heart and soul set, I selected another pencil and shoved it between my molars. I set to work immediately, opening a large word document. Tomorrow, I will find out who he is. But today, I have a chapter to finish, and I have all day to spare!


John de Lancie walked back to his office, a smile splitting his face. Glancing around to be sure he wasn't being followed, the actor opened the door and entered. One wall of the room was covered in screens, each on a different channel or website. All of them had either the report on the Celestia sighting or a pony-related item.

In front of the screens was an unnecessarily large swiveling armchair, hiding its occupant from view. "Everything goes well, Mr. de Lancie?" asked a very familiar voice.

"As smooth as a polished whistle, yes," John said with a grin. "You sent our chronicler his recruitment?"

"Mm, yes. Though it was quite rude, not responding to my calls," chortled the voice in the chair.

"And now we inform her of our existence?"

"Yes…" the throaty voice chuckled. As the laugh escalated, a lion's paw reached for a knob, while an eagle's talon began typing on a keyboard. "Everything is going awry… and so perfectly whimsical…" The maniacal laughter was shared between John and his voice.