Dang, this is extra spicy. Some top tier tease in the first chapter, followed by unrestrained and extremely hot smut in the second. Well done!

11745814
Thanks! I'm glad to hear you liked it.

"Oh yes, it's ver' nice!"
-- French knight, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

11746048
It is a shame, but as the old saying goes, the show must go on.

Any chance we’ll get a sequel? Maybe one of them Got preggo and the other two are jelly and want the same? (I recommend Scoots being the first preggy <3)

11746875
I do actually have an idea for a sequel, and I'll probably come back to this story at some point, but not for a little while, I think; I'm all sofa-ed out at the moment.

I wasn’t expecting much, going into this, but I was quite pleasantly surprised. One of the best clopfics I’ve read in a long time. A fantastic level of detail in body descriptions and teasing/buildup!

Though the prose itself was more than a bit purple, and the second half of chapter 2 was maybe too structured and predictable. Still, by that point, I was so enthralled with your fantastic descriptions of the fillies that it didn’t matter. If you could learn to keep the same level of detail without the over-the-top purple prose, it would be some of the best clopfic writing ever!

11873040
I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed my story so much, and I appreciate that you took the time to leave your critique.

To some extent, I agree with your criticisms. The choreography in the sex scene was admittedly a bit uncreative. Initially, I had intended to make the sex scene longer and more complex, but by the time I actually got to that point, I realized that the story would be way too long if I did that. Also, I was a bit burnt-out at that time, and I wasn't really in the mood to write more than I did.

I have never had anyone accuse me of writing purple prose before, and while I can see why you might make that assessment, I don't think the prose is that bad, especially not to the point of being "over-the-top". Yes, in hindsight, I can see some places here and there where I could have shortened or simplified things, but the vast majority of the story is perfectly fine in that respect. The story does get very descriptive at certain times, but this was usually intentional, and as you have admitted, made the story more engaging.

Compared to a lot of erotic stories on this site, my writing does tend to feature a lot of long, detailed sentences. I hate to play the "style" card, but I do feel that my way of writing isn't objectively bad, especially when it comes to stories like this. Porn is all about presentation. There are a million written depictions of sex on the internet, but the thing that sets them apart is the way they are described. I stand by my belief that detailed, in-depth descriptions are not only a positive, but are essential for a genre that is intended to provoke extreme emotion in readers.