ShopperBrony90
Joined 6th Oct, 2022 ·
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I would be curious to know how the CMC even recognized Spike as a pony having absolutely now signifier that would even remind them of him? The writing is still a bit blocky but it's still steadily improving with each chapter, so I am seeing some hope for this fit which hits one of my favored kinks. Keep it up, looking forward to see how you will go about with the rest of the Ponyville population.
Nice update
Okay, I know for a fact there used to be a story like this before on the site. Deleted and the user was permanently banned since it was stolen. Maybe it's just the cover art though.
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Yeah, that guy had straight up copied the drone stories from Antipodal on FA.
While this one seems to have an obvious common source of inspiration (Redflare500's hazmat drones), it is original AFAICT (Spike's ponification before getting turned into a drone, which didn't happen in Antipodal's version, for example).
The writing in the other one was also more streamlined, no offense to the author of this one (like Mix-up said in the previous chapter, it's through practice that you end up improving).
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So far I think the Apple's chapter was the best being the longest and more coherent so far, with a good development and I thought it was a nice touch to see Granny Smith and the other elderly Apple getting turned into drones.
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In case you haven't noticed in the chapter of the CMCs being dronified, Spike still has a pointed triangle at the end of his tail, just like from he was a dragon.
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I think that seeing Spike shaped like a pony in a hazmat suit, would make it very hard to recognize even with a spade tail, it's more likely it would be dismissed as a decoration of the suit or some dragon pony underneath, then think on the spot that is was Spike who was transmogrified; at least it would be my impression, especially with now other clue that it could be him, like a name tag maybe. If he acted or did something that that could be associated to him or just talk the there just a maybe change I could believe it was him. One in show example that was hard to recognized the pony of that is when Discord just changed Twilight and Cadance's manes, I just didn't recognized either of them even when it was done right in front of my eyes. But this is your story so anything you decide goes.
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If you go back to chapter 1, I added a few parts of Spike's ponydron-ification.
...
oh boy this feels like changed again!
11719134
What do you mean by that comment?
11719358
Oh there's this game called changed that has transformative latex in it
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Especially the part where Silver Spoon had her jeans so tight that it made her bulge on her private area more noticeable!
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...yeah!
You accidentally repeated the part between Twilight waking up and her asking Mrs. Cake about the yellow cream.
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I fixed the error.
Explicit covers break site rules; you might want to message a moderator to review it
I can see a steady improvement in the quality of the writing, especially for a very young beginner, despite still having some consistency issues I have noted before, it is starting to have a more coherent world despite being primarily focused as a fetish story. The only slight annoyance I have are the incomplete chapters which were updates regularly making it hard to notice any updates on the progress. Still, I hope you will manage to reach a satisfying ending for yourself. Keep up with the writing, I am sure this is a great learning experience for your next story you will write.
Hey buddy don't be down I love rubber drone stuff like this so I think it's great just keep improving and You'll be done in no time.
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Thanks. It's just that my co-author (KawaruSan3) was so busy with something that I don't know whatever he's doing. Sorry for the wait, Harmonic Apostle.
😢
Cute keep it up.
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Thanks.