"You're wrong, I have the power of peace if I can unite all under one banner. When we all have the same goal, paradise, the world will be at rest."
Arctus is a unique existence in the hell that's he's been thrust into. As a scout, he had all the tools he needed and was used to spending time in the woods; but not quite like this, let alone with avoiding some of these creatures.
But from iron bars, it can't be this bad from here on.
Comes before An Aeternian's Conviction.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So far this story has been flawless, the writing top notch, and the spelling / grammer excellent. I hope it continues for a long while, because it's been very enjoyable to read.
Sehr Gut!
These tags are very... Intimidating
Is pretty good. A well thought out storyline. And good character creation
11653830
Thanks for the feedback! I plan to have it go for a loooong while, that's at least what I have planned.
11653833
Thanks!
11654046
I mulled over a few nights before I decided to start on it. I was a little unsure on how to portray Arctus or his origin so I let it keep some kind of mystery about the normal way of life there.
I appreciate the feedback!
11654087
I'm glad to hear it
Excellent as usual!
I'm a big fan of the direction the story is taking so far.
11659128
I try to keep regularly updating it, glad you like it. The romance should be developing very slowly, Arctus isn't the most socially developed creature so I'm dialing that in when I do it.
Always thankful for feedback.
11659139
I think the pace of the story is excellent, and Arctus's character is very well developed so far. It's also nice to see a MC / Celestia romance story, since those seem to be a bit rarer these days.
Granny Smith helped settle Ponyville. Did the events there with Tirek take place during a previously attempted settlement of the same name?
This story is quite fascinating. Is the human’s place of origin a reference or is it original?
Given MC’s vigilance, it’s amazing that he hasn’t encountered any clues about the Changelings. That’s going to be quite the journey.
I wonder if he’ll apprentice Sunset or if she’ll resent her loss? Has nopony ever attempted to become his disciple before?
His reaction to the Princess of Love will be very fun to see.
Well done, author! Here’s hoping for more!!
11660676
I should have been a little more clear.
This was just during the settlement of it, when it wasn't much other than a growing farm and a couple of buildings.
Tirek's appearance is out of place and it's meant to be, that ties in later.
This MC is all original, all magic and lore as well. His origin is orginal, too.
It would be grievous indeed if another Scout emerged. The appearance of even one more human is cause for concern and alarm.
An excellent conclusion to this story, and I'm looking forward to starting on the sequel.
Probs gonna get hate for this, but oh well, I don't sugar coat things.
The pacing, it is moving way too fast for anything of substance to be properly comprehended. Rapid fire "this happens, that happens, suddenly he's in canterlot, oh now he's back in the woods, oh now he's killing minotaurs." All within 2k words in a single chapter. Too much is happening too quickly to be enjoyable. How long since the first encounter? A month, a week, years? No fuckin idea because it's not said.
The main character, honestly all he seems like to me is a Gary Stu with enough edge to cut diamond. Instantly beats and overcomes everything with next to zero effort. Oh and apparently he has ridiculous magic too, because being overpowered skill wise isn't enough. There's next to no character development here. We know next to nothing about him aside from his name and where he's from, that's it. Yet somehow he's already got the princess pining for his affections, and we're just supposed to be like "cool, go for it"?
I honestly tried to give this story a shot, but this is honestly just bad writing. Only made it 6 chapters in before this. Not the worst story I've seen, granted, but nonetheless not good.
11682282
I appreciate your input.
I'll admit I suck at pacing and I don't try to defend my writing from criticism but take it and then go revise with it.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate the constructive feedback.
Ngl his nation seems like it sucks ass, not making allies because ''we make all we need already'', that's just plain dumb.
11741007
Edited so Arctus' pompous opinion isn't reflected as 100% truth.
Aeternia got to a spot of stability because it took from the conquered and killed. It still does, especially with any wood related goods.
Thanks for the callout, sometimes I miss these small world building issues.
Odd story about a scary dude that lives for the kill. Guess I'll keep reading for now