The Only Chapter
It was a nice evening at the school of Friendship as everyone was getting ready for the night and resting up for the next day. Twilight and the others had left for Tartarus to find Tirek, so the young six were on their own as well as the students. As Sandbar exited to head to the library, a few others were giggling.
“Cozy Glow baked our class cupcakes today!” Citrine Spark said happily.
“And she made all of us friendship bracelets!” Berry Bliss added, showing them a bracelet.
“She's the nicest pony I've ever met. I'm so glad she's headmare!” Patty Peppermint piped up as well.
“Uh, temporary headmare?” Sandbar corrected them. “Right, guys?”
“Oh, oh, of course.” Citrine said. “But if Twilight takes her time coming back, I won't mind.” They laughed as Sandbar picked up the books and headed for the library.
The door to the library opened as Sandbar stepped in, and went to the aisle where his friends were as he arrived. “Finally! We thought you forgot about study club.” Silverstream said in excitement.
“Sorry I'm late.” Sandbar confessed before telling his friends the big news. “Cozy Glow gave our class tickets to a Sapphire Shores concert in Ponyville tonight.” Silverstream beamed.
The others were suspicious of this news, and felt that something wasn’t right. “You get the feeling Cozy's trying too hard to make us like her?” Gallus asked, unsure of all this.
“Or maybe she just wants to help us keep our minds off of how scary it is that magic's disappearing.” Ocellus suggested positively.
Smolder felt that something was off. “I don't trust her.” She said defiantly, stretching her eyes. “What's she up to behind those big eyes and bouncy curls?” The other students were thinking the same thing as Yona took notice of Cozy herself sneaking around the library.
“And why Cozy pony coming out catacombs so late at night?” Yona asked, as the others saw her do just that, just as she flew out.
The students felt that it was a good time to investigate. “Let's go ask her.” Gallus said seriously as they quietly got up and started to follow her out.
Cozy made her way through the hallways and to the headmare’s office as the students were following her. As she came in, the young six were taking a peek through the door, and saw her with another pony. They could only make out a slender figure as they saw it.
The chair turned around to face her, and normally you’d expect a voice like Neighsay’s but… it was sweet like a girl’s. “So, how’d it go, Cozy?” The voice asked her.
“Oh, golly. I just gave the class tickets for Sapphire Shores tonight.” The filly answered. “I'm doing a good job watching the school for her, Counsellor Starlight.”
The other pony beamed with excitement. “That’s why you’re my number one assistant at the school, Cozy.” She nuzzled her hair. “You really ARE like a right hoof pony.”
Cozy smiled at the compliment. “Is there anything I can do for you?” She asked.
The other pony thought. “I don’t think so.” She calmly answered. “You can rest for the night. I’ve got a lot papers to grade before Twilight and the others get back.”
“Ok!” Cozy said as she smiled. The other students were shocked to see or assume…
“Chancellor Neighsay?!” Silverstream asked. “What’s he doing here at the school?!”
“I don’t know.” Sandbar answered. “But as long as he’s here, this night might be a little tougher than we thought.” The other students were scared now. With what they thought was Neighsay here, things would get a little dicey for them…until someone would blow cover by chance.
Meanwhile, back in the office, the other pony Cozy was talking to covered all the student records of the Young 6, and filed them. “So far, so good. Our six unique students are acing it.” She said happily.
"Perfect!” Cozy Glow exclaimed "To be honest, I was worried that Chancellor Neighsay would be here to toss them in the trash, but with you on the job, they’re safe!”
The other pony nodded. “Yep! I even put a lightning rod outside on the school, generating a force field to keep intruders out.” She said, as she shown Cozy a view from the window, revealing a electrical force field outside.
“Electrifying.” Cozy said with delight.
"It sure is." the other pony said "With Equestria under attack, ponies must stand together. And so, if this happens again, we’ll know what to do.” Cozy nodded, as the other pony went to the bookshelf to get a book. “Quite a relief that a pony wouldn’t try to drain magic.”
“I’m glad Twilight and the others are away to help.” Cozy said quietly. She then had a bone chilling thought. “But, then…who or what do you think is the reason magic is disappearing?”
"I honestly don’t know, Cozy.” The other said, unsure of this as well. “But since Twilight is gone, it falls on us to keep her school up and running.”
As the two ponies were talking, The Young 6 started talking from the doorway giving away their positions, which caught their attention.
"Cozy, did you hear something?" The other pony asked Cozy.
“I don’t know, but It sounded like it came from over there!” Cozy replied.
“Let’s go take a look.” The other pony suggested as they opened the door to reveal the Young 6, as they fell onto the office room floor and grunted. They looked up, and got up as they came face to face and saw…
“STARLIGHT?!!!” The students gasped all at once upon seeing her.
“What the? What are you all doing here?” Starlight asked curiously.
“We May as well be asking you the same thing.” Sandbar asked.
“We all thought you were off with Twilight!” Ocellus called.
“We thought you were Neighsay!” Smolder blurted out, as she turned to see the others nodding in agreement.
“What are you talking about?” Starlight said, confused. “I asked Cozy Glow to help me at the office around the school at night.” She nuzzled her. “She’s a very good assistant! If Chancellor Neighsay was in the school, we’d know about it .” Cozy nodded.
“But Yona saw her sneaking around catacombs!” Yona added in alert.
The two ponies chuckled. “It's just that sometimes I need some help at night. I can't ask you guys to stay up late.” Starlight said, smiling. "You all need your rest, so I asked her to help me late at night.”
The students chattered upon hearing this, and thought that sounded completely right. Smolder was still unsure about this. “But that still doesn’t explain the whole thing.” The dragon exclaimed. “I thought Cozy was secretly working for Neighsay, and we followed her to make sure, and we thought we saw him.”
Starlight scoffed. “Why would you think that?!” She asked in disbelief. “Uh, sorry. Listening.”
“Well, when Cozy said she was taking over the school, we thought it was weird, and that it didn’t make much sense that you didn’t explain your absence.” Smolder explained. “We thought Cozy was taking full control.”
“That sounds devious.” Starlight said with a grin, before putting on a serious face. “I-I mean, I see.” Cozy cringed at that.
“What?” She asked. “What are you talking about? Starlight was out for the day, and gave me the day duties. She was coming here to work on the night shift. So I could help her.”
Smolder was dumbfounded as she heard this, as the other students glared at her angrily. “I guess I was jumping to conclusions.” She said, as she sighed.
Starlight was surprised upon hearing this and sighed as well. “True, you did jump to conclusions, and also, that was a really, really bad assumption to make about your friend. I understand you were curious, and you could’ve asked other staff members for help.” She told her. “Twilight and the others were away, but I was here for night shift. You could’ve just talked to me about this, and the whole thing could’ve been avoided.”
“I guess it could’ve been avoided.” Smolder admitted, as she slunked her head down. “I should’ve trusted her.” She turned to the others. “Oh, guys. I’m really sorry.” She apologized. “I didn’t realize that Cozy was trying to help Starlight.”
“Hey, I’m not broken up about it.” Galllus agreed. “Straight up, we weren’t sure about what Cozy was doing at night.” The others nodded as well.
“But next time, tell somepony first. Okay?” Starlight asked as she smiled.
Smolder gave a weak smile. “Ok.” She said.
Starlight giggled. “You all look tired. Now, off to bed, all of you.” The other students nodded as they went back to their dorms.
“Come on.” Starlight said to Cozy. “We can start working on substitute headmare plans for tomorrow right now, if you like.”
“Thanks, Councellor Starlight.” Cozy piped up as they went back in the office.
“Anytime.” Starlight said, smiling as they started to go over another round of filing and substitute plans, all while the students went back to their dorms and to sleep.
The next day went about like any other school day. Lessons were being taught and Starlight and Cozy both worked on new substitute plans. At that moment, the door burst open to see Twilight and the others come in. “Twilight!” Starlight said, shocked. “I wasn’t expecting you back so early.”
Twilight just giggled. “Thanks for taking care of the school, Starlight.” she said.
“Did you two have a few hiccups?” Pinkie asked them.
“It was a challenge.” Cozy said as well. “Heh. But I think things turned out just the way you'd have handled them.”
The mane six sighed happily. “At least that was taken care of!” Rarity put in.
“That’s good to know.” Twilight said, as the others nodded. “I wonder if the students missed us.”
“I’ll bet they did, Sugarcube.” Applejack suggested.
“By the way, with what Tirek told us…” Rainbow added. “That sure didn’t sound like it was Cozy.” Both Starlight and Cozy shuddered at that.
“That’s because…it wasn’t Cozy.” Smolder said, as the students saw them on the way to the next class.
Twilight was shocked that they knew this. “How in Equestria did you know?” She asked them.
“Lucky guess. We gotta get to our next class.” Smolder quickly answered as they dashed off.
Twilight just giggled. “We’re glad you two took care of the school.” She said to them. “You both can take the rest of the day off. You earned it.” As they walked off, both Starlight and Cozy sighed with relief as they get to frolic with what they wanted to do for the rest of their day.
Except for Starlight still thinking about what Smolder said that night.
That afternoon, Twilight was going through the files Starlight coded, as Cozy came in. “Professor Sparkle?” She asked. “Before I leave for my day off, I wanted you to know that The mailpony just came with, uh, a few things.” She brought in some heavy boxes, and set them on the floor.
Rarity took notice and knew what they were. “Ooh! The sewing machines I ordered for my class!” she squealed. Cozy just smiled, as she went out the door and outside, ready for her day off.
At that moment, Starlight came in with a concerned look on her face. “Oh, hey, Starlight!” Twilight called out. “Can I get you a comfort pillow? Security blanket? Empathy cocoa?” she got those things as she asked.
“Actually, Twilight…” Starlight said. “I have something I need to talk to you about.” Her expression said it all. “It’s Smolder.”
“Oh?” Twilight asked. “What about her?”
“Well…” Starlight said, as she was about to tell her the issue regarding her.
Meanwhile, back in the hallways, the other students were passing through since their classes had already wrapped up. Sandbar saw Smolder and Gallus about to head out. “Where are you guys off to?” He asked.
“We’re going out to the lake like we did on Friends & Family Day.” Smolder replied.
“Ooh! I can’t believe we get to hang out again!” Silverstream beamed. “I’m totally in!”
“I think we all could use a mental health break.” Ocellus agreed.
“And, it’s been a while since we been to the lake. So, yeah!” Gallus piped up.
“I’ll tag along too.” Sandbar added. “Let’s go!” The students giggled and chattered as they started to head out for the lake. However, as Smolder was about to head out, she heard a voice call out her name, making her freeze.
“SMOLDER!” The dragon turned to see Twilight, who’s expression was firm and serious. Smolder’s expression was now fear and sweating. “I'd like to see you in my office." She said firmly.
"Now?" Smolder asked shocked and nervous.
"Yes," Twilight nodded. "I have something very important I need to discuss with you."
Smolder gulped, wondering what she could've possibly done to get on Twilight's bad side.
As Smolder approached the office, she had second thoughts about this, and decided to back out. But, she realized what the consequences would be if she did. She got in trouble before, and she didn’t need to again. She sighed. “Might as well get it over with.” She said as she made her way in. She approached Twilight’s desk, as the alicorn was checking over the files.
Smolder gulped. “You wanted to see me, Headmare Twilight?” She asked calmly.
Twilight put the files down, and looked at Smolder firmly. “I can’t believe you’d do something like this!” she scolded her.
“Like what?” Smolder squaked out.
Twilight walked over to her. “You are A student at the school of Friendship, aren't you?” She asked her, her expression unchanged.
“Yes, and I still have a lot to learn on Friendship.” Smolder admitted.
“So, why did you falsely accuse Cozy Glow of something she didn’t do like take magic from Equestria?” Twilight asked harshly.
Smolder was shocked at this. “How did you know?” She asked.
“Starlight told me everything that happened last night.” Twilight answered her. Smolder gulped, and sighed sadly.
“I didn’t trust her!” Smolder pointed out. “I thought she was going to plan something to take over Equestria and I heard her talking to Somepony. I didn’t know that it was Starlight.”
“What made you think that jumping to conclusions about a foal was even remotely a good idea?” Twilight asked her.
Smolder thought about this question. “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds really bad.” she admitted.
“That's because it is really bad!” Twilight shouted, making Smolder jump back in shock. She stammered. “Smolder. I'm not mad at you, but I am disappointed.” She told her. “You have been doing well here, I don’t understand how one simple substitute day could turn into this.”
Smolder took in a deep breath. “I didn’t know Cozy was helping Starlight. At least I admit that.” She answered.
“I understand where you’re going with this.” Twilight added. “But Cozy would never do a thing like that. If that happened, the worst she’d get is community service or a paddling."
“Oh.” Smolder sadly said. “I guess I have missed the whole point without even thinking.”
“I never thought you would do such a mean thing as to falsely accuse a student.” Twilight scolded her. and she opened the doors motioned for her to leave “I'm afraid I'm gonna have to suspend you from the school for a week for you to think about what you did and why?”
Smolder bowed her head down. “I deserve it.” She said sadly. “You have every right to be mad at me. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions quickly about Cozy.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” Twilight said. “Please leave for now.” Dejected and with tears in her eyes, Smolder walked sadly out of the office, and out the school doors, which Twilight carefully closed shut. She looked back and walked out the doors, and started to fly off for the dragon lands, starting to ponder about what she did.
“SUSPENDED?!” Gallus said in shock. “For a week?!”
“Did you really have to do that?!” Silverstream asked horrified as well.
“That’s a little extreme.” Ocellus added.
“I get it.” Twilight told them. “I understand how you feel about Smolder, but she was supposed to support you guys as well as Cozy Glow. And it’s clear that she failed that. It’s not permanent. She’ll be back next week.”
Spike got up to her face and grabbed it. “Who are you, and what have you done with Twilight Sparkle?” he demanded.
“Every school in Equestria has punishments.” Twilight reminded them. “I understand that Smolder’s was like the Crusader’s punishment. But she’ll learn the discipline she needs to learn.”
“I never thought that’d actually happen.” Silverstream said sadly.
“She needs to learn her lesson.” Twilight reminded them. “If not, how will she learn the importance of support?”
“I guess we should go back to class?” Cozy asked.
“I understand how you all feel.” Twilight reassured them. “But, things will be back to normal next week.” She smiled. “Run along, and I’ll see you Monday.”
As the students left, they couldn’t shake the feeling that their friend was missing. “It’s just not the same without Smolder.” Sandbar said.
“I know.” Ocellus agreed. “Without her, it’s just incomplete.” Nevertheless, they went to their dorms to contemplate.
It wasn’t going well for Smolder at the Dragon Lands. Her thoughts of what happened that night drove her into a severe depression. Not only that, but Ember heard about the whole thing, and was angered with her for jumping to the wrong conclusions about Cozy Glow,
"You oughta be ashamed of yourself, Smolder!" Ember shouted at her.
"I know, Ember." Smolder said sadly. “I have no excuses. I was completely over the line.”
"Why did you do it in the first place?!” Ember scolded her. “Did you ever stop to even think about why and keep those thoughts to yourself?" She asked.
"Well...no." Smolder admitted.
"Then, why would you even bother jumping to conclusions about a pony?” Ember asked her.
"Because, I thought Cozy was really taking the magic from Equestria, plus She was sneaking around at night.” Smolder said calmly.
"That's no excuse, Smolder!” Ember said, pointing to her. “You’ve got a lot to think about!” She said as she walked away. Smolder started crying tears.
She went over to an area by the mountains and sulked, not even moving a muscle. She took in a deep breath and sighed sadly. She then heard bongos and turned to see Garble, playing them. “Fire, dragon. Wig and waggin'. Feelin' like…” Garble stopped to see Smolder saddened. “Smolder?” He asked. “Are you okay?”
“If you’re trying to cheer me up, It won't work.” Smolder said gruffly to him.
“I was just trying to cheer you up.” Garble answered. “Hey, you wanna do some poetry?”
“No.” Smolder said, still sulking.
“Come again?” Garble asked, as he didn’t hear her answer.
“I said no!” Smolder said harshly, turning to Garble furiously. “Curse your gosh darn beanie and shirt!” This made Garble jump in shock as she took off.
“What’s her problem?” Garble asked quizzically as he saw Smolder fly.
As she flew over the dragon lands, she felt a tear trickle. “They way I see it, even Poetry has lost its charm on me.” She said silently to herself. She flew for a few minutes, and suddenly noticed. A few dragons in the hot lava tub, she smiled. “Maybe, that could help me.” She said as she flew over to the lava tub and started relaxing.
A week later, Twilight was going over the Color coding for the next year of the school’s semester. “Spike! I have horrible news!” she fretted.
“What's wrong?” Spike asked.
“We only have twenty highlighters! And they're all orange!” The alicorn said with worry, showing the drake the highlighters. “How will everycreature color-code their notes?!”
“I'm pretty sure you're the only one that does that.” Spike said skeptically.
“Still, twenty isn't enough for the new school year!” Twilight panicked, just as the doors swung open.
“It is if you only had twenty students.” Smolder said as she came in, carrying a few supplies and a bag of her belongings.
Twilight and Spike saw their dragon student was back. “Smolder!” They said happily as they came to hug her. Surprised but not alarmed, Smolder returned the hug.
“So, how was your suspension?” Twilight asked her. “Did you learn anything?”
“I sure did, headmare Twilight.” Smolder replied. “Don’t judge ponies till you give them a chance.”
Twilight and Spike looked at each other and smiled. “Well, we’re all glad you’re back.” She said. “The finals are coming, and…”
“…and you need some help with highlighters?” Smolder said, as she chuckled. “I can help you with that, and other stuff on that matter.”
“Really?” Twilight beamed. “Smolder, that’s amazing!”
“Thanks, Twi.” Smolder said, as she unloaded the supplies. “I’ll give you a hand. After that, there something I need to do.”
“Take all the time you need.” Twilight said smiling.
“Thanks.” Smolder said, as she flew to the office to stock up on supplies. The two watched and smiled.
“It’s good to have Smolder back, huh Twi?” Spike asked her.
“Yes, it is, Spike.” Twilight answered as she smiled. “Yes, it is.” As Smolder corrected the supplies, Twilight went to check on the other classroom, with Spike tailing with her.
Later that day, the students minus their dragon friend were heading outside through the fountain way and to the library, as they had a final exam to study for. “So, who wants to study together?” Sandbar asked his pals.
“With other students?” Gallus scoffed. “This is Equestria! If you want the real scoop, there's only one place to go.”
“Like maybe the library?” A voice asked. They all turned to see that it was….
“Smolder?!” They all asked in shock.
“SMOLDER?!” Gallus asked. “Where have you been?! And furthermore, how was your week off?”
“It gave me some time to think about what I did.” Smolder answered. “And I sure learned not to jump to conclusions.” They all giggled at that.
“Good to have you back, Smolder.” Ocellus piped up.
“Thanks, guys.” Smolder said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have unfinished business in one of the classrooms.” She turned heal for the school.
Cozy saw where she was going and decided to follow her. “Wait, Smolder!” She called out as she followed her. “I’ll go with you!” As she followed her friend, the others went to the library to study.
Smolder entered a nearby classroom in the school, and looked around. So far, it was empty. She smiled as she picked up a piece of chalk and started drawing on the blackboard, “I will not jump to conclusions about other students.” Once she drew that, she smiled as she knew it was her lesson.
She started drawing that multiple times, as she heard a knock on the door. “Aah!” She turned to see Cozy enter, as she sighed with relief. “Oh, it’s you, Cozy.” She smiled.
“Hi, Smolder.” Cozy said, happily. She took notice at the message Smolder wrote on the blackboard. “This is what you learned?” She asked.
“Yep.” Smolder answered bluntly. “Hey, Cozy? Can I talk to you?”
“Sure.” Cozy answered.
“I’m sorry that I mistrusted you after all this time.” Smolder apologized. “Can you forgive me?” She put out her hand.
Cozy saw it, and smiled as she took it and shook it. “Of course I can.” She said. “Friends?”
“Till the end!” Smolder said, smiling, “Y’ wanna help me write that message on the board?”
“Sure!” Cozy said, as she helped Smolder write the message a myriad of times. From that moment on, following her suspension, Cozy and Smolder became good friends as a result of their makeup. There are certain things you should never do against your fellow friends, and jumping to conclusions about them was one of them.
Luckily, after they wrote the message, they headed out to have a lunch together as good pals. Cozy was glad that Smolder forgave her, and Smolder was glad to regained a new friend. Things were happy at the school of friendship.
As they came back, they saw Chancellor Neighsay entering, as he was about to approach the office. “They’re gone!” He said quietly. “Time to turn the school into…” He stopped when he saw Cozy & Smolder, arms crossed and death glares at him. “Who are you?” He asked.
“Nice try, Neighsay!” Cozy growled at him.
“But you’re not taking over the school on our watch!” Smolder added. Neighsay gulped as he wondered what the girls would do to him. One could only wonder as the chancellor started to back away and leave the school.
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How strange, I like it.
That's racist.
No, seriously--anyone who would more automatically assume any other race/species would do "the bad thing," but never their own, is prejudice against the other race/species in an unflattering light, and thus arguably racist. It's also incredibly naive to assume your own race/species is so perfectly good that it would never do "the bad thing" as NO race/species is that perfect. If the other race/species is capable of doing "the bad thing," then so would your own just as equally.
Not to say, in this case, that a pony is GUARANTEED to be doing "the bad thing" here, because that's no less racist either, but it would be unwise to just automatically rule it out without evidence, of which absolutely none had been presented for this claim.
Wait, wait, wait--Cozy's a student herself (and younger than all of the Young 6 to boot), yet she's asking her to stay up late, so why can she ask Cozy to do this but not literally any other willing student, Young 6 or otherwise? Because by her own logic that she states here, she shouldn't be asking for Cozy's assistance anymore than she would the Young 6's.
Smolder has an excellent point here--it IS weird neither Starlight or Cozy even attempt to explain Starlight's absence before, and they still aren't really giving an adequate explanation for it now, as it feels more just a "because reasons" excuse than an actual explanation, believable or otherwise.
So at the moment, I honestly can't blame Smolder much for having suspicion enough to want to investigate, as I would be too. Even if they aren't intentionally doing so (which given the story summary I'd assume they aren't), they're still coming across as if they're trying to hide something, and that's always going to raise a red flag with people.
Also, neither of them explained why Cozy was working at the catacombs at all--that part of the Young 6's questioning is just completely dismissed without being given an answer, which again doesn't help stop any feelings of something being hidden.
But...I thought all of the other staff members were Twilight and friends--it's literally just Starlight and Cozy and the moment, running it alone. That's why Starlight wanted Cozy's help in the first place, right? So who else could they have even asked besides these two anyway? Who're these "other staff members" you speak of?
Soooo...did they fix the thing they set out to do in the first place? Y'know, stopping the whole "magic is disappearing" problem? It's kinda weird they haven't actually said one way or other other at all yet, since you'd think that'd be the very first thing everyone would want to talk about here.
I am too. Other than a frankly innocent jumping of conclusions which she totally admitted to upon being told the full story with no apparent hard feelings from anyone (Cozy certainly didn't seem to and she was the supposed victim here, thus the one who'd have the most motive to be), she's really not done anything wrong here.
Really? That's all the punishment you'd give? Because let's look at what canon Cozy did:
Entirely of her own volition, she sought in secret the help and assistance of a known supervillain for knowing assistance in an openly admitted nefarious plan that would remove the land all of its magic, effectively disrupt society across that land if not the rest of the world, potentially jeopardize hundreds or more of lives (because let's not forget all those creatures who nearly fell to their deaths when magic first started vanishing), effectively halt all civil operations that depended on magic to function, and put undue strain on national governments trying to hurriedly restore order so to compensate without magic before their societies collapsed into anarchy from the resulting chaos, a plan that was pursued because she openly sought to overthrow the world order and place herself as its sole leader and dictator, and was willing to both imprison and banish without trial or justice anyone who attempted to stand in her way of doing so, and on top of it all resorted to widespread lying, deception, and misinformation so to dissuade everybody else from realizing the truth.
And you suggest a mere paddling or community service would be more that enough punishment for that. Really. Because no matter how you slice it, this is all still supervillain conquer-the-world level stuff here. It'd be like James Bond defeating Goldfinger by giving him a slap on the butt and sternly telling him to never do it again.
I get Cozy's just a kid and that should still be considered in any forthcoming punishments. But that doesn't change the seriousness of her crimes any, nor that they should be treated any less seriously than they would for anyone else. Heck, they might even need to be treated more seriously precisely BECAUSE she's a kid, because what kind of kid would even think, let alone try to do any of that?
Whaaaat? Smolder's not even trying to deny that she's in the wrong here, so how is suspension even justified here? A week of detention, maybe, but even that seems like it'd be pushing it considering that Twilight's the only one who even seems that upset about it. And it's not like Twilight's not made the same mistake before herself--Trixie, Discord, technically Zecora (though admittedly only through peer pressure, but still)--so not only does she not really have a leg to stand on here, she also wasn't really punished for any of those instances herself. So why is Smolder being punished for something she readily admitted to be at fault for without protest or even trying to fight it once she was gently corrected on her error?
Further, Smolder may be older than Cozy, but the argument can be made that she's still technically a kid too, so...if Cozy should be let off easy just for being a kid, then why not Smolder?
Plus, it wasn't just Smolder who jumped to conclusions, because all of the Young 6 jumped to conclusions themselves. Smolder wasn't even the first one to do so both in canon and in this fic, Gallus was. So why are the rest of the Young 6 being ignored for having, in essence, committed the same "crime?"
That's what I said, Ocellus!
And she did! By supporting the rest of the Young 6 when they too suspected something seemed amiss about the situation.
Yeesh! We sure this is actually a "fix fic" and not a "hate Smolder fic?" Because now it just feels like you're kicking poor Smolder while she's down. I get it, jumping to conclusions is bad, but you're kinda beating everybody over the head for it.
Well, she didn't know the full story of what was going on leaving a few important details very much blank, nobody had taken the time to fill in her or her friends, and her friends readily agreed that maybe they should ALL just double check to be safe, and upon getting the record straightened, they all completely dropped the matter without further protest, readily admitting to having made a mistake without a fight and didn't even proceed to commit it again, showing the lesson was learned.
And she was suspended for it anyway. Just her, no other participants. For an honest mistake most anyone could've made and for which similar examples could be readily cited for the ones doing accusing have done themselves (Ember included).
So I ask you...does that really seem fair?
Speaking of, she still hasn't been told why Cozy was in the catacombs in the first place. Or, for that matter, if anyone's actually stopped the taking of magic from Equestria or who actually was to blame for that if not Cozy.
Yeah, Twilight! Maybe you shouldn't jump to conclusions by assuming everycreature takes notes the same way you do, AND implying that any one who doesn't is somehow failing at notetaking. Perhaps we should suspend you for a week too for your unjustified assumptions against other creatures.
Have I made my point here yet?
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In the end, this fic falls prey to the usual entrappings of a fix fic--good intentions, but so laser focused on fixing the one grievance it doesn't stop to think through the logistics and ends up just providing a scenario with even more plot holes than the one it's trying to replace.
Fortunately, this isn't the worst fix fic I've ever read, not by a long shot, and it's not so grievous that it still can't be fixed and still make the message it wants to make. Honestly, addressing most of the problems I've already listed should be enough to do it. For instance, if you made it so that Smolder wasn't so quick to admit to her guilt up until she was suspended, that alone would help.
Further, you really ought to give better explanations for why Cozy was in the catacombs and why Cozy and only Cozy was chosen to work with Starlight, as without either of those things, it does still make both of them seem unintentionally suspicious. It'd also be nice to know if they ever did actually stop the magic from being taken, since the fic never does say one way or another on that.
this is so damn obviously revisionist that the fuckin CCP and DPRK are telling you to take a chill pill
is this your first go at writing? cuz it also feels like that's the case
you can't be doing alt universe stuff right off the rip, you gotta study other, greater works first
god, this is one of those rare times where i'm disliking a story because of how it's written, instead of what it's written about
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so that's what was niggling at me in the back of my head about this...
thank you for pointing it out
if you wanna find a fic that's emblematic of this, i encourage you to go look at My Little Pone: The Nine Elements
i'm curious, which one would get the dubious honor of that title?
This, at the end of the day, still makes far more sense then the actual season 8 finale.
Punishments that make far more sense that what they gave her in the show.Maybe she should have been punished in the exact same way Starlight was. That would make even more sense.
Can't really say I'm a fan of this story. Smolder didn't deserve to be punished nearly so severely for a simple wrong assumption.
Except Starlight was genuinely remorseful for what she'd done. Cozy wasn't.
This is a better ending, something that goes better with the theme of friendship of MLP instead of sending a filly to Tartarus
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Like the part where Smolder is yelled at and punished just for being suspicious of Cozy? Yeah, real friendly...
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She is yelled but she learn the lesson, and tell me, compared to put a little girl in Hell and later in stone instead of trying to reform her when even the God of Chaos and a Sect Leader managed to get reformed, I don't think is that bad. Is not like a Pegasus could do much magic to escape if they left her somewhere else
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Or Discord.
They could assign some poor doormat of a stallion with a big heart take care of her, and he wouldn't have the willpower to say no.
For true authenticity they can relay solely on said caretaker withholding their affection as a method to control her.
No punishments or other corrective measures nessicary!
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Jesus Tapdancing Christ, that was a mouthful.
We get it, you hate fix-fics. You don't have to type out essay-length comments to prove that point.
Come to think of it, are there any fix-fics on this website that you don't hate?
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I have nothing against fix-fics if they make sense and are well written, or even just decently written.
This one is decently written, but it doesn't make sense. I still don't understand why Smolder specifically is the only one signaled out here.
And apologies for the lengthy comment, but it was mostly for the author's benefit and I know from past experience that sometimes a criticism isn't always well understood unless I provide the essay-length explanations for it, so I just sort of preemptively resort to it so to avoid the comment chains that would've ended up doing the same thing.
Going to have to unfortunately side with the person who left the very long and critical comment here.
I for one don't like how the show handled Cozy Glow or her punishment and would normally be all for something like this. But the logic in the story just doesn't add up and Smolder seems to get short end of the stick, despite having fair reason to be suspicious and not doing anything more egregious than her friends.
I do not think this was a bad concept. It just needed a bit of reworking.
HEY! You gonna answer my messages or not!?