A Tale of TwiPie

Pinkie Pie had a simple plan. Bake a very special dessert for the very special Unicorn she wanted as her very special Somepony. Of course, with Pinkie Pie, nothing is ever simple. Especially not when a mischievous Draconequus loans her a new recipe book, that he SWEARS is safe.

Ponyville's #1 party planner will sure have her work cut out for her.

Chapters (3)

Pink Party Pony Prepares Creative Culinary Confection for Pretty Purple Pony · 20th Jan 2024 · 2,486 words
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Step 1: Prepare Dry Ingredients · 24th Jan 2024 · 1,591 words
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Step 2: Add Wet Ingredients · 26th Jan 2024 · 2,139 words
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Comments ( 7 )

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ArtyChameleon

ArtyChameleon #1 · January 22nd · 1 · · Pink Party Pony Prepares Creative Culinary Confection for Pretty Purple Pony ·

This is great so far! Can't wait to see what will happen next

Fluttershylover3

Fluttershylover3 #2 · January 24th · 1 · · Pink Party Pony Prepares Creative Culinary Confection for Pretty Purple Pony ·

If the recipe did harm either then it will be more than just Mrs. Cake on his tail

Mike_Tubapun

Mike_Tubapun #3 · January 26th · 2 · · Step 1: Prepare Dry Ingredients ·

6 cups of all-purpose flour 6 tablespoons of sugar 4 tablespoons of cocoa powder 3 cups of baking powder 3 cups of baking soda 5 tablespoons of salt 4 cups of milk 2 cups of butter 4 eggs 4 teaspoons of vanilla extract Boiling water 1 cup of stardust from the stream of the Palomino comet 3 tablespoons of the feeling of laughter and joy Marshmallows Shortening 1 cup of Cotton Candy cloud puffs

Wow that's a lot of baking soda and baking powder!! Almost makes the bizarre ingredients seem normal, but at least it'll be fluffy!! Excited to see where this story goes!!

ArtyChameleon

ArtyChameleon #4 · January 26th · 1 · · Step 2: Add Wet Ingredients ·

Eee I'll be looking forward for the next part, this is great so far!

Hyper Star

Hyper Star #5 · January 27th · · · Pink Party Pony Prepares Creative Culinary Confection for Pretty Purple Pony ·

"Um...Pinkie? Is everything okay?" he asked. The pink mare spun around to see her concerned guardians, and gave a small giggle.

"Come on now. Tell Mrs. Cake and I what's going on," he said with a kind smile, placing a comforting hoof on Pinkie. The pink pony sighed, as she closed a cabinet.

And many other instances, discluding the chapter title, which I like.

I’m afraid you have LUS (Lavender Unicorn Syndrome, it’s the MLP fandom version of Burly Detective Syndrome), easily curable, just use "she."

"I know Mr. and Mrs. Cake mean well, but...this is too important to me. I can't let Twilight down. This has to be the best dessert I've ever made, putting every other sweet I've ever made to shame!" she muttered to herself. "I just wish I had another cookbook! Something that was really unique!"

I thìnk you should have just italicised this and have her think most of this and in the end, have her simply say "I wish I had another cookbook! Something that ~~was~~ is really unique!" to cue Discord

Discord sighed, rolling his eyes. "You ponies and your limited imaginations," he muttered under his breath. "Because the book comes from the Chaos Realm, that means it follows Chaos Realm rules. And Pinkie Pie has a biological connection to the Chaos Realm. Don't ask me how, even I haven't figured it out, but nonetheless, all Pinkie has to do is imagine the ingredients in the correct size and they'll appear in the endless void that is her mane."

Discord seems to actually be afraid of Mrs. Cake, I would be!

I wish we got a bit more of a look at when Pinkie’s feelings for Twilight developed, but so far so good.

Hyper Star

Hyper Star #6 · January 27th · · · Step 1: Prepare Dry Ingredients ·

"Am I gonna meet them at the end of the story?" Pinkie asked. Spoilers, Pinkie. I can't tell you that. "Aww. Party pooper."

No, the fourth wall breaking is one of the biggest traps for bad Pinkie Pie writing, it’s canon-esque, sure, but it turns many people away.

"Pinkie Pie! What's up?!" Rainbow Dash asked–

–conveniently appearing as if on cue to finish a very specific task.

"Dashie! Hi!" Pinkie giggled, hugging the blue pegasus.

LUS alert!

"Ha! Don't worry, Pinkie, I can get up to the factory and have that dust filtered into your bowl in ten seconds flat," Rainbow Dash boasted with a grin. Pinkie squeed in response, rushing over to grab the bowl, before placing a mesh lining over the top. "What's that for?"

Uhm, she isn’t the least bit confused? Pinkie actually tasted a rainbow and Dash told her they "aren't known for their flavour," I don’t think she'd just pet her add rainbow dust added into a cake.

"Pinks" is a nickname people occasionally use when it comes to Dash referring to Pinkie, why? Just curious but is there a canon instance?

Hyper Star

Hyper Star #7 · January 27th · 1 · · Step 2: Add Wet Ingredients ·

The mantra repeated in her head again, as she knocked on the door of the library. As she was halfway through an additional repeat, making it to 'Twilight wasn't' the door to the library opened as Spike stood behind it.

Strange detail towards the end...

"[...] those sparkling purple orbs that Pinkie couldn't get enough of. "So, what's up? Spike said you were looking for me."

Orbs?! Oh God, oh sweet Celestia, oh dear Luna NOT ORBS! Eyes, pupils, why must it be orbs, what is an orb? It’s an eye! Sorry, not a big fan of the trope.

"T...Thanks, Twilight," Pinkie said shakily, taking the book and moving to leave, before Twilight cleared her throat.

An incompleted word should end with an em dash, "T–... Thanks, Twilight,"

The ending was... strange, is it a hallucination? Imagination? Or was that actually her Grannie Pie?

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