My name is Tom Williams. What turned into another day of programming and watching a weekly new episode of Pokemon Journeys, turned into a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. After talking to godlike pokemon, I've been given the power of his kind to survive in a strange new world of magic and technicolored ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. How will both worlds react once they interact? Only Arceus knows.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Being a MASSIVE Pokémon Fan and mlp. Especially , a fan of the Mystery Dungeon games I’m gonna enjoy this
If I may, what Mystery Dungeon route will you be taking with this and what Season of mlp will this be take place in
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11442695
Firstly, thank you for the comment. Secondly, the route for this story is a mix between the Mystery Dungeon series and the MLP series. Some of the missions from the games are similar to some of the problems the characters deal with in the show. So, as the story progresses, it will contain corrupted Pokémon working alongside the villain characters and oc characters using Pokemon to further their goals. Once and a while elements from the original series will appear. And lastly, this story begins halfway through season 1. Hope this helped answer you questions.
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11443238
1. thanks for the reply and yeah this helps VERY much
2. And sorry for late reply. Some reason i didn’t get a notification and also if you see a fav for this story again then my bad
Had to re add this to my fav and bookshelf again
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Amazing chapter! Enjoyed the fight!
11445042
They literally just updated.
Like I seen you in other books and all you say is “more” and not say anything about the chapter itself
Looks like Tom and the mane 6 are getting along nicely. And Celestia encounter with Arceus went good to
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Tom life in equestria seem to be going fine so far. Wonder what will happen next
Why is this so technical? I’ve played the PMD games and you’ve turned the first 2 minutes of the game into 5000 words.
gangar or garateina spotted
Another amazing chapter my good friend!
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Nice that rainbow got two Pokémon of her own to look after
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Amazing chapter! Nice to, see the introduction of the guilds in this story aswell as rescue teams
And now, time for Tom to face his first Dungeon
Amazing chapter! Looks, like things went pretty well in the mystery dungeon and they were able to get everyone stuff back
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Oh boi. Looks like the darkness that Arceus was talking about is here
I really like this
Excellent work
Next up! This!!
Digimon, Digimon, Digimon!
Digimon Digital Monsters!
Digimon are the Champions!
‘Instrumental’
Digivolve into Champions!
Veemon Digivolves to…
Terriermon Digivolves to…
Renamon Digivolves to…
Guilmon Digivolves to…
Flopmon Digivolves to…
Hawkmon Digivolves to…
Armadillomon Digivolves to…
Patamon Digivolves to…
Gatomon Digivolves to…
Wormmon Digivolves to…
Cool story ^^
and where's next chapter ?
nice can't wait for more chapters too come out soon
Finished reading the story up until this point.
After reading it... I feel that I need to write this.
First, the bad:
1 - Grammar. The way the story is written make me strongly suspect that you typed it directly from this site and published. If my guess is right, then it mean you didn't use a writing app (like Microsoft Word or Google Docs), since they can detect errors in the text and suggest corrections.
2 - Consistency. The story doesn't have a good flow due to unnecessary descriptions and redundant stuff. Because of the lack of consistency, the characters react in a way that feels too artificial, like they were following a pre-made script.
3 - Genre. I think you made a mix of adventure and sol, that is not a bad thing in itself but, if you don't have a proper pace in the flow of events, they'll just mix badly and the story will lose the reader's interest.
4 - OP Isekai OC. You may think that having your main character be able to transform into any pokemon would be cool and interesting. But it actually does the opposite, it make the character boring and unimaginative, and it only makes the story more inconsistent. I could accept if your character is only able to transform into a few different pokemon (6 at most) and into 2 or 3 digimons (Since digimons can change into almost any form already, getting the ability to freely transform is pointless.) And if you say that the character needs that power... that is a lie.
5 - Actions and consequences. In a story, every significant action begets a consequence, be it positive or negative. When I read your story, the impression I got is that you wanted to make your character look cool helping others, there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is that those actions have no effect in the story. There is no ongoing problem, just issues that start and the MC just happen to be there to solve. In the end, the MC is only acting as someone there to stop the events that would lead to the story to start.
6 - Personality. You made the characters to act in such a way that it would only serve to praise the MC actions, no depth to it. Here are some examples: "Mane6 became friends with MC, a few minutes after meeting him.", "Twilight invites someone to live with her in the same time-frame."... You also use Fandom stereotypes for the mane6 (Twilight becoming obsessed with new information when that should only apply to magic related topics)
7 - Other. There are other stuff to include but, I feel that this is already long enough.
Now for the good:
1 - Idea. Your story have a interesting gimmick, there are not many people that would try to mix pokemon, digimon and mlp together (yours are the only I could find). However putting too much different franchises in the crossover will only make a mess, try to limit to 2 or 3.
2 - Characters. The core idea of PMD is to have a team of pokemon in order to progress. That is where the strategy of the game shines. Having a character being essentially a one-man army is a counter to that, without that, the MC just become a liability.
3 - Other. There are more stuff that I will put but... I'm running out of time and I'll give a part 2 later.
So far you've gotten an A for Concept but a C for Execution. It's alright and I'm reading a chapter here or there but it isn't a page turner. Admittedly that's a lot better than most Displaced stories so take it with a grain of salt.
11531185
I concur with your opinions. It gets a 6/10 above average from me but yeah, way too many forms and way too fast knowing every move every pokemon can use. The fact it's taken this long to even get a hint of plot is also disheartening.