Chapter 2
After school, the girls stay behind in the lab, overseen by a very casual Mister Bottle. "Welcome to detention. No phones. Study if you want." He said as he rests his feet on the desk and toys with a puzzle cube.
"And we're in here for how long?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"For however long I feel like." Mister Bottle answered before finishing the puzzle cube. "Hm." he said before tossing it to Rainbow Dash, who expertly catches it in her hand. "Scramble your cousin for me, will ya?"
"My cou—" Rainbow Dash shot up from her seat before Fluttershy puts her hand on her shoulder.
"Not now, or we'll be in more trouble." Fluttershy advised.
Rainbow Dash groans and sits down. With her Geode power, she swiftly scrambles the colours and tosses it back to Mister Bottle, who catches it with the same reflexes she demonstrated. "So, how'd you all get these powers?" he asked the question, the one they were all waiting for.
Twilight Sparkle looks to her friends, who all silently and subtly nod to give her the go. "We found some magic Geodes at a camp. It's a long story." She told him awkwardly.
"It actually started way earlier than that." Sunset Shimmer said. "Once, I stole a magic crown to… hypnotize… everyone in… school…" she recounted with increasing awkwardness.
"It was followed by a princess from another universe lending us magic to, uh, neutralize her." Rarity added to Sunset Shimmer's account.
"There's another time a trio of hypnotic singers came and we beat 'em with our own music." Applejack added.
"Ooh! Ooh! Before Twilight here transferred, she took all our powers and became a knowledge-hungry witch who ripped holes into another universe!" Pinkie Pie said as she hugs Twilight Sparkle's head from behind.
"All solved thanks to our friendship." Rainbow Dash concluded. "By now, that should be a warning to any future supervillains who try anything in this town." She looks right into Mister Bottle's eyes.
"Fascinating." He responded. "So, what? Do you fly around town helping people in need?"
"We do it a whole buncha times!" Rainbow Dash answered.
"But we don't really consider us full superheroes." Twilight Sparkle added, gaining an eye-roll from Rainbow Dash.
"So, you're fast…" Mister Bottle points to Rainbow Dash. "You make shields…" he points to Rarity. "What do the rest of you do?"
"I gots super strength." Applejack answered.
"I can talk to animals." Fluttershy spoke up.
"I can blow up candy!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
"I have the ability to move objects telekinetically." Twilight demonstrated by solving Mister Bottle's puzzle cube from a distance.
"I can read minds when I touch people." Sunset Shimmer said.
"All you need is a talking animal mascot." Mister Bottle joked.
"We have Spike, but I usually leave him at home when I'm at school." Twilight Sparkle answered.
At Twilight Sparkle's home, Spike is sat before the front door impatiently wagging his tail, waiting for his owner to come home. "Twilight sure is taking a while. I sure hope she's not having another adventure without me. I almost missed that punch flood last weekend." He said to himself.
"Y'know, there's only seven magic high-schoolers in this school, and it just so happens that all of them are in detention with the new substitute teacher, who just so happens to take an interest in them." Rainbow Dash stated with suspicion.
"Seven?!" then, bursting from the door with a kick is Trixie, the school's resident illusionist. "Aren't you forgetting me? The Grrr—" Applejack slams the door into her face. "Ow!"
"Heh, well…" Mister Bottle stood up from his chair. "I'm a scientist. It's only natural I investigate such phenomena."
"Hey, just like Twilight! She came to study our magic, but accidentally stole them all and—" Pinkie Pie was shushed by an embarrassed Twilight Sparkle.
"So you are here for our powers!" Rainbow Dash runs up to his desk.
"Sit down, star athlete. You're still in detention." He commanded.
"Where is it?" she speedily rifling through his desk before getting his briefcase. "No teacher has a cool metal briefcase! The only things people keep in these things are—" she opens it to find a bento box, books, and stationery.
Mister Bottle slams the briefcase shut, narrowly missing Rainbow Dash's fingers. "What? Thought I have a magic-o-meter, or something? I may be a scientist, but I'm not that advanced." Mister Bottle told her with the same casual face as before, but with a tone of impatience. "Now get back to your seat."
Applejack pulls Rainbow Dash away from Mister Bottle before she can do anything else to him and sits her back down.
"Do you treat every new person you meet like this?" Mister Bottle asked them.
"Mister Bottle, we're really sorry Rainbow Dash. She's just really on edge today." Twilight Sparkle said. "Mondays, am I right?"
"Sorry won't fix that flask, and sorry isn't an excuse to violate my privacy." Mister Bottle responded. "For that, an extra hour is added to detention."
"Guh!" Rainbow Dash groaned as she bends her head over her seat. "Nice going, me."
"Buuut…" Mister Bottle said for everyone to pay attention. "I might just decrease detention time if you all do something for me."
"Like what?" Rainbow Dash asked, cautious but inquisitively.
"I wanna see what Canterlot City's own superheroes can do." He answered.
"Is that really all it takes?" Rainbow Dash asked. "And you really don't have an evil magic-siphoning machine to absorb our powers?"
Twilight Sparkle gives another sigh from being reminded of her past as Sunset Shimmer gives an empathetic hand to her shoulder.
"No strings attached. I just want to watch." Mister Bottle assured.
"If it's a show you want, it's a show you'll get!" Rainbow Dash declared. "Hold onto your mismatching sneakers, Bottle. That emergency outside was just the surface of this iceberg of awesome." She told Mister Bottle right in his face.
"So…" Mister Bottle smirked deviously. "…Shall we start the experiment?"
Mister Bottle escorts them to the soccer field where they prepare to show off their powers. "Glasses, you're up." Mister Bottle called to Twilight Sparkle.
"Good luck." Rainbow Dash patted her back.
"I'm just carrying stuff with my mind. How hard could it be?" Twilight Sparkle stepped up to the centre of the field beside Mister Bottle. "What do you need of me, sir?"
"Lift those bleachers." He pointed.
"Easy." Twilight Sparkle held out her hands and the wooden bleachers are lifted into the air with ease.
"Now disassemble, then reassemble it." Mister Bottle commanded. Twilight Sparkle gulps, then focuses her power on the bleachers. She unscrews the screws and pries the seating off. "If one piece is missing, I'm charging you for damages." He said to stress her out more. Twilight Sparkle continues disassembling until they're floating piles of pipes, boards, and screws. Then, the does her best to put them back together; doing everything in reverse before setting down the possibly-completed bleachers back down.
Breaking out into sweat, she falls to her knees as she tries to catch her breath. "That… that put more physical strain into me than I thought." She panted as Sunset Shimmer came to her side with a water bottle.
Mister Bottle goes to the bleachers to examine its structure, looking at every fastening point and kicking it. "Neat." He nodded. "Next is cowgirl." He points to Applejack. "Can you carry that vaulting box?" Mister Bottle pointed to said gym equipment.
Applejack looks to the stacks of wood and picks it up as easily as one would pick up a stick. "This strong 'nuff for ya?"
"Can you juggle?" Mister Bottle asked.
"I've been taking pointers from Pinkie lately." Applejack answered.
"Then split it into five and juggle." Mister Bottle commanded.
Applejack sighs and puts the vaulting box down. She takes the top-most box and tosses it in the air, followed by the next as she catches the first, so on and so forth. Her friends soon witness Applejack juggling all five segments of the vaulting box overhead. "Keep at it, A.J.! You're makin' momma proud!" Pinkie Pie cheered.
"Okay, that's enough." Mister Bottle signalled. Applejack rests the bottom-most segment on her right palm, and the rest of the pieces fall onto it, stacking it up like before. "Cotton candy, get over here." Mister Bottle called Pinkie Pie as Applejack joins her friends.
"Pinkie Pie front and centre! Need me to blow up candy?"
"Yep." Mister Bottle quickly handed her a piece of candy hidden in his hand. When he retracts his hand, Pinkie Pie finds a piece of mottled blue candy.
"This is sour candy!" she panicked when the candy starts to spark.
"Is there a problem?"
"My sugar bomb powers don't agree with sour candy!" Pinkie Pie quickly throws the candy in the air, causing it to explode in a gigantic colourful mushroom cloud.
"Now that's what I call a Warhead." Mister Bottle observed the dispersing cloud. "Your turn, drama queen." Mister Bottle called out Rarity.
"Oh, drama queen? You're taking it quite far with the names." Rarity scoffed.
"Just stand there while I get something." Mister Bottle said before walking back into school.
"What could be possibly be preparing for me?" Rarity shuddered.
"How much longer do we have to take this?" Fluttershy wondered.
"Was I really this bad back then?" Sunset Shimmer asked them.
"I'd say Mister Bottle's worse since he's a teacher picking on us!" Rainbow Dash responded. "But you, Sunset—"
"Yeah, okay, I get it. You don't have to remind me all the time." Sunset Shimmer interrupted Rainbow Dash.
"If not a supervillain, maybe he's part of a morally-grey clandestine organization monitoring us for their own agenda." Pinkie Pie suggested.
"And we're just here feedin' him data." Applejack crossed her arms.
"It's weird nobody big caught up with us after that Fall Formal. What's up with that?" Rainbow Dash shrugged.
"You have me." Twilight Sparkle said before sipping some water.
"You're an independent egghead. I mean eggheads with the government." Rainbow Dash responded.
Mister Bottle bursts out the door pushing a tennis pitcher machine onto the field, pointed in front of Rarity. "Put up those shields, and I'll start it up."
"This shouldn't be too bad." Rarity stammered before putting up a hexagonal diamond shield. Mister Bottle starts the machine, tossing tennis balls at a steady rate at the shield.
"What're they made of? Real diamonds, some magical projection?" Mister Bottle casually asked Rarity as he leaned against the machine.
"I like to think they're real diamonds." Rarity answered.
"Cool. Cool." Mister Bottle increases the speed, and the balls shoot out even faster, causing Rarity to back away shot-by-shot. "If they really are diamonds, you think the edges can cut like diamonds?"
"I've never actually tried that. I've only used these for defence and decoration."
"Decoration?"
"I made a chandelier once with my diamond shields."
"Huh." Mister Bottle nodded before turning off the machine. "That's all. Thanks."
"Oh, that wasn't so bad." Rarity said in relief.
With her guard down, Mister Bottle briefly re-activates the pitcher and flings a single tennis ball at Rarity. Before it could hit her, Rainbow Dash swiftly gets in the way and catches it. She gives Mister Bottle a stern mug, and he responds with his usual snark.
"Wallflower!" He called out to Fluttershy.
"Me?" another voice said from behind them.
They turn to the fence and see green girl wearing a striped sweater. "Who're you?" Rainbow Dash asked her.
"Wallflower Blush. I was in chemistry earlier." The girl answered.
"Get outta here. These girls are in detention." Mister Bottle said.
"Yes, Mister Bottle." Wallflower sighed before walking away.
"Is she new, too?" Sunset Shimmer wondered.
"New nickname, new nickname…" Mister Bottle was in thought before snapping his fingers. "Shrinking violet, that's it! Come here."
Fluttershy shyly approaches Mister Bottle, meekly clasping her hands over her chest. "Yes, Mister Bottle?"
"While I was fetching that pitcher, I got this little guy to help with the next experiment." From behind his back, he pulls a small white rabbit with a pink bow on its left ear.
"Oh, he's adorable. What's his name?"
"This is Utan."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Utan." Fluttershy greeted the rabbit as it hops onto her hands. "What can you tell me about yourself?"
The rabbit grooms itself. "He says he misses home already. He wants to go back home to someone called Mii."
"She's a friend. I had to kidnap him from her for this test." Mister Bottle answered. "Say, could you hold onto him for the rest of the experiment?"
"I will, Mister Bottle." Fluttershy agreed.
"Over here, sunshine." he called out to Sunset Shimmer. She cautiously approaches him, fiddling with her hands. "You can read minds, right?" Mister Bottle asked.
"I can see memories and feel emotions of whomever I'm touching." Sunset Shimmer explained.
"How does it work? Do you pick and choose?" Mister Bottle probed her further.
"It's really just whatever the other person's feeling at the time… at least I think so." Sunset Shimmer answered uncertainly.
"Interesting… interesting…" Mister Bottle nodded as he jotted down her statements.
"You don't have any secrets you don't want anyone to know, do you?" she nervously asked.
Mister Bottle silently stares at her vacantly for a moment before grabbing her hand. "No."
Sunset Shimmer's empathy powers activates, and she views the moment Mister Bottle entered school just now. From his viewpoint, she sees him running through the halls and meeting a blue man with shaggy brown hair and a blue varsity jacket holding Utan. The other man yells something in Japanese before Mister Bottle pulls the pitching machine out of the gym. "She's not going to find out. Now wait outside." Mister Bottle told the man before taking Utan and running off.
She pulls herself away from Mister Bottle. "Who's the guy with the jacket?" Sunset Shimmer asked Mister Bottle.
"He's a friend. That's all you need to know." Mister Bottle answered. "You're good. Go, join your friends."
Sunset Shimmer leaves his side and joins everyone else. "Whaddya see? Any evil plots you managed a sneak-see?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"I saw him grabbing the pitcher and the rabbit from another guy." Sunset Shimmer answered.
"What'd he look like? Anything suspicious about him?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"He wore a blue jacket, had brown hair, and spoke Japanese. That's really it." Sunset Shimmer described.
"It looks like you're the last one left, Rainbow." Twilight Sparkle told Rainbow Dash.
"I saved the best for last, of course." Mister Bottle approached them.
"So, what's it you want me to do?" Rainbow Dash asked with crossed arms.
"I thought you'd be more than happy to run, star athlete." Mister Bottle chuckled. "Run the perimeter of the school. One hundred laps in a minute." He challenged her.
"One hundred? I can do double that in a minute." Rainbow Dash scoffed.
"Then do two hundred." Mister Bottle challenged further.
"You're on." Rainbow Dash agreed.
They come to the school's front where Rainbow Dash is stretching her legs in front of the Wondercolts Statue, and Mister Bottle approaches her with a radar gun. "If you can't do two hundred in a minute, you'll all be staying behind until sundown." He told her.
"I thought I told you: I can make that time, and more." Rainbow Dash said.
"If you say so." Mister Bottle shrugged as he walks away to adjust his radar gun.
Twilight Sparkle approaches Rainbow Dash with a concerned look. "Rainbow Dash, all his challenges were tough for some of us, and it looks like he made this one especially hard for you."
"I figured… but I'm not letting that stop me getting us out of detention." Rainbow Dash declared.
"Are you gonna run, or what? I've got the thing calibrated." Mister Bottle said as he came to them.
"Good luck." Twilight Sparkle patted Rainbow Dash's back before joining her friends sitting at the school steps.
"On your mark…" Mister Bottle said as Rainbow Dash takes her place in starting position in front of the Wondercolts Statue, facing westward.
"Get set…" Rainbow Dash breathed steadily as she clasps her Geode.
"Go!" Mister Bottle pulls the trigger and starts a timer, just as Rainbow Dash sets off as a rainbow ribbon. Her friends watch as a spectral blur passes by the statue every second with a beep to count each lap.
Sunset Shimmer watches in anticipation as Twilight Sparkle does calculations beside her. "Rainbow's got this in the bag!"
"My calculations say otherwise." Twilight Sparkle said.
"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.
"Taking account of the school's perimeter and her current speed, I calculate every lap is roughly one second." Twilight Sparkle explained.
"Sounds like good odds t'me." Applejack said.
"There's only sixty seconds in a minute, Applejack. Unless she can, at least, double her speed, she won't be able to break seventy laps." Twilight Sparkle elaborated, and her friends faces only speak of shock.
Rainbow Dash kept on running and running, and every second all she can stare at is Mister Bottle's smug face. "Can you hear them?" he asked her. "They said you can't do it. You can't break two hundred."
Rainbow Dash could grit her teeth as she tries to run even faster, barely breaking past her initial speed.
"Don't you want to get out of detention? It doesn't look like it!" Mister Bottle taunted. "Thirty seconds; thirty laps!" Mister Bottle yelled.
"Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie yelled. "Pick up the pace, girl!"
"C'mon, Rainbow Dash, you can do it!" Fluttershy yelled.
"Forget the numbers! You can do it!" Applejack shouted.
Rainbow Dash's gaze turns away from the teacher to her friends behind him cheering her on. "Don't run for me, run for them! Don't care if I want you to run, care that your friends do!"
After hearing his words, Rainbow Dash goes into thought. "Your friends believe in you; they have for a long time. I haven't let them down, and I'm not starting now." she declared to herself. "I wanna rub something in the new guy's face. I wanna show him what I can really do!" Rainbow Dash turns her attention back to Mister Bottle, who's smugness falters into a fierce stare.
"Run, Dashie, run!" Mister Bottle shouted.
Rainbow Dash picks up speed and sets off the lap counter every split-second. "Forty-five seconds; seventy-three laps!"
"She's doing it! She's really doing it!" Rarity cheered.
"Run, Dashie, run!" her friend screamed.
"Fifty-five!" Soon, she runs so fast her boots are set ablaze.
"Fifty-six!" Then, her body is engulfed in magic aura, speeding her up considerably.
"Fifty-seven!" her hair grows into a longer ponytail, and Pegasus wings sprout from her back.
"Fifty-eight!" she's more than doubled her speed after ponying up, trailing fire with every step.
"Fifty-nine!" with one last burst, she throws herself towards the starting line, letting momentum do the work.
"One minute." Her body lands face-first on the pavement, and ponies-down.
"Rainbow Dash!" her friends came to her and flips her over, seeing her tired face panting heavily.
"H-how'd I do, coach?" Rainbow Dash asked Mister Bottle.
He stares at the results on the radar gun, and it was hard to get a read on him with his stoic face. "The law of victory has been set…" he flips the display to the girls, and they were excited to see what it read: 200 laps in 1 minute, as promised. "…You won."
Her friends whoop and cheer as Twilight Sparkle helps up the star athlete from the pavement. "You did good today, Rainbow Dash."
"Good? I did great!" Rainbow Dash gave a strained thumbs-up.
"Since Dash won, can we go home?" Pinkie Pie asked Mister Bottle.
"Here's the thing…" Mister Bottle showed him security footage of the lab on his phone. On the footage, the shelf that the flask rested on tilted forwards, sliding the flask onto the floor.
"So it really wasn't our fault!" Rainbow Dash growled.
"Vice Principal Luna sent me this during your exercise." Mister Bottle added.
"Wait, you knew it wasn't our fault that long? Why didn't you let us go earlier?!" Rainbow Dash asked him.
"Like I said: you're out when you show me your powers." Mister Bottle answered. "And what a show it was."
"You're a strange one, Mister Bottle." Twilight Sparkle said.
"Please, call me Full Bottle." He smiled. "If you excuse me, I gotta return Utan before I get yelled at." Mister Bottle said before taking Utan from Fluttershy. He opens his motorcycle top-box to take a rabbit-sized helmet for Utan.
"You're really leaving after all that?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Yup. Saw all I needed." Mister Bottle nodded as he equips his helmet. "I'll see you girls tomorrow. Don't be late." He reminded them as he mounts his bike and kicks the kickstand. He revs the engine and drives away with Utan clinging onto his back.
"Rainbow Dash, remember our earlier conversation on footwear?" Rarity asked her.
"C'mon, not—" Applejack facepalmed before looking surprised at the ground under Rainbow Dash.
"What?" Rainbow Dash looks down, and sees herself barefoot. She turns around to see the charred remains of her boots. "Aw, I liked that pair."
"Have you any spares?" Rarity asked.
"I got sneakers with lightning on 'em." Rainbow Dash responded.
"Then I must assist in creating an ensemble to compliment it." Rarity giggled. "I have a design for joggers you'd absolutely adore."
"Save it, Rare." Rainbow Dash stopped her. "If you guys thought your trials were bad, mine's gotta be the worst."
"What do you think of Mister Bottle now, Rainbow?" Twilight Sparkle asked.
"What do I think?" Rainbow Dash said. "I think he's a power-hungry demon who gets kicks from torturing kids…" she answered with a scowl before a smirk calming her. "But he's got a pretty cool bike." She answered for everyone to laugh with her.
That night downtown, Full Bottle's varsity-jacketed friend is waiting underneath a lamp post, holding a purple camera. Soon, Full Bottle arrives on his bike with Utan. "[Waiting long, muscle monkey?]" Full Bottle asked the man in Japanese.
"[I've been standing here for an hour.]" his friend whined.
Full Bottle removes Utan's helmet and hands him to his friend. "[Make sure to put him back in bed.]"
"[Grease is keeping her busy. I'll slip in, then slip out. No problem.]"
"[And the pictures?]" Full Bottle extended his hand to his friend.
His friend quickly shoves the camera to Full Bottle. "[This guy here? More trouble than he's worth.]" he points to the camera before the flash goes off into his eyes.
Full Bottle chuckles at his friend's misfortune, joined by another chuckle from the camera.
"[Rah! I'm tired of this clandestine monitoring stuff!]" his friend roared. "[I've rigged a shelf, I've fetched Misora's pest, and I've stalked those girls like a pervert with a camera that can't shut up about composition!]"
"[We're on a mission in another world. What more could you want?]" Full Bottle shrugged.
"[I expected something cooler, not our world but people are coloured like rainbows! Why am I blue? Why are you purple? Why is this normal?!]" his friend complained.
After his friend's outburst, they fall silent, their eyes wander awkwardly, and the rugged man soon simmers down. "[I've done my part. I'm quitting.]" the friend points his phone at the alleyway, and a rainbow vortex opens up.
"[Don't worry. I can do this by myself.]" Full Bottle said before the camera vibrated. "[And with Flash. Funny thing, I have a student with the exact same name.]" he chuckled.
"[Good luck… Sento.]" his friend said before disappearing into the vortex with Utan.
"Goodbye, Banjo." Full Bottle smiled before looking at the camera. He looks through captures of the girls demonstrating their powers from a distance, in trees, and within bushes. "You know what, Flash? I think I'm gonna like it here." he told his camera.
"That makes one of us." A voice from the camera spoke back.
THE END
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Apologies for the late upload. I lost track of time since I'm not in the EST region.
Did that camera just talk?!?
On the one hand, I'm very excited about this chapter's end but on the other...I don't want to spoil those reading after me.
They are suspicious and think he could be a villain, yet like the typical bond villain they spill their secrets.
What? They all were suspicious at the end of the last chapter and now they and the fic are acting like it's only Rainbow? Sure, I guess
What? Why would she asked that all of the sudden?
How does that make him worst? If Sunset got enjoyment from it that means she is worse. If you are going to have a character state something, have them give a reason that actually supports their statement.
That was pointless for what is only a two-shot.
So her catching the ball before it hit Rarity wasn't his test for her?
So, once again her thoughts went through another 180 out of the blue in a forced way. Ok then.
Overall this fic confused me and I didn't see the point to it. The main plot of the girls being late was executed poorly in a nonsensical way. The girls became suspicious of what is normal scolding and punishment and treat it as much worst. Despite that most magically drop their suspicions at the start of the second chapter. You had characters and moments that were pointless and didn't add to the fic and now at the end I didn't see the point of all this. Well, it wasn't a boring or too aggravating of a read and was just confusing if anything so that's a plus I guess.
11451892
Thanks for the critique. I've been waiting for something like this for a while in any story I do, so let me take the time to respond to your concerns.
For the first period thing, I thought homeroom wasn't counted for a "real" first period.
About them being late for looking at the bike, I might have made the homeroom period a bit short, in hindsight. They just came after homeroom started, and ended a little while afterwords. Gimme a break, I haven't been to high school in years.
I used Twilight to say what she said about strict teachers because she used to be in, what I only assume, an environment with especially-strict teachers.
Lastly (for this half of your review), I wanted to portray Full Bottle as a relatively-harmless smug jerk for putting all that work for the girls instead of a full-on d-head abusing his power as a teacher. I just thought of the most extreme punishments that wouldn't cross the line for a teacher for what could be a very minor thing. I didn't think teachers in C.H.S. would even go as far as what Full Bottle did. I wanted to save the borderline-grueling stuff for his tests in the second chapter.
11451905
For Sunset explaining her plot in the first movie, I figured what she did was public knowledge, and that Full Bottle would stumble upon it sooner or later, maybe already had from word of mouth.
For Twilight putting the blame on Rainbow, she did after all dig through Full Bottle's personal things a second ago, but I guess the way I worded made it sound like Rainbow Dash was directly to blame for the flask breaking when that wasn't my intention.
Sunset was asking her friends if the way Full Bottle treated them is similar to how she treated them in the past as more of a gag and perspective kinda thing.
For Rainbow saying Full Bottle is worse than Sunset, my thought was that to the girls, they knew somewhat he was enjoying them, but he didn't give them a face or an expression to even confirm that. Though with the way he talks to Rainbow Dash about how cool his bike is, it cancels it out, in hindsight.
The thing with Trixie and Wallflower were just gags. Nothing more, nothing less.
It wasn't. He didn't expect Rainbow to save Rarity, just anyone really. Rainbow happened to be the one since she's the fastest, but it did give Full Bottle another taste of her abilities.
Rainbow still thinks rather low of him after everything, but just said what she said to cheer her friends up and have a laugh after a long day.
Thanks for your review. I'm sorry for the confusing way I wrote, I thought most of it made sense in my head, and I couldn't find enough people who care enough to proofread the draft. I really just wrote this for fun, with whatever comes out of my head, but I appreciate that you took the time for this critique.
11451984
Homeroom? I never had homeroom at my high school, though to be fair I am sure different high schools have it differently. Ok, my issue was it wasn't clear enough and should have been in story. Something to note for future fics.
I can only buy homeroom being only a few minutes long, since again barely any time has passed from him showing up to the girls finally entering the building. If that is the case I don't see the point of such a class to be honest, because of such, but whatever.
Except he wasn't really that strict, or went above and beyond. All I saw and read was a reasonable person giving fair and reasonable punishments. At least at the time until the reveal, that he knew the girls weren't responsible for the broken test tube or whatever that was. His actions weren't above and beyond what was reasonable, which would make her literally saying he was worst than her teachers at Crystal Prep valid. He didn't come across as too strict or much of a jerk and the girls came across as spoiled brats, refusing to accept someone reasonably scolding them, especially Rainbow.
For the first part of this paragraph, I can only ask then why have the girls bitch about as if he was? For the second, the only way that would be true is, if they don't punish them at all and since Celestia scolded them for being late too I call bull shit on that. So, like I said before, the girls just come across as whiny brats complaining about someone, who comes across as a fairly strict and reasonable authority figure, that was also a bit cool and laidback at times as well. It really felt you were trying to have it be both ways in terms of that. Also, his tests in the second chapter weren't terrible one bit. They seemed not that bad and tame actually, so I don't know what you are talking about.
11451991
Ok, but what's the excuse to reveal their powers to someone they suspected could be a villain? You could argue what does it really matter anyway, since they outnumber him, giving them an advantage, if he was going to be, and sure fair enough I guess, but it's still an annoying cliché which was more my issue. It's fine. I get and can accept that happening to get to him testing the girls' powers.
No, the Flask had nothing to do with my point here. The point is at the end of the first chapter the girls were all suspicious and willing to use their powers just in case, but they all, except Rainbow seemed to have changed their minds about that, as she seems the only one still suspicious here.
Still say it's force, since she was a vicious bully who ruled the school with fear and tore their friendship apart, while he only somewhat strictly scolded them and gave some minor insults, if you consider them such. Sure, he also knew they were innocent when it came to the second incident, but that in no way compares to what she did. Not even one iota.
But Rainbow implied he wasn't and now you are contradicting that. Also, if he was, that wouldn't make him worst. At most, if would only make him as bad, if his actions were actually at that level and like I stated they are no where close.
The Trixie one is fine, but the Wallflower one just doesn't work in my opinion and just screams pointless. With Trixie it only took up one paragraph, while Wallflower's took too much time that there should have been some relevance to it, but sure I will let that pass.
No indication of that in the fic, but ok sure. Though, her immediately despising him just from a few jabs after considering him cool is a bit forced.
No problem and thank you for taking the time to address my critiques and answer some of my questions.
I saw the text in this fanfic’s plot: “After Miss Cheerilee was injured in a magical incident that the girls resolved, a new substitute teacher came to replace her.”
Do you know what “magical incident” do you know?
If you know, is there a fanfic that details it and how Cheerilee was involved?
Thank you, RevvEmUp.
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Nah, it was meant as a throwaway line to explain her absence and to show there are more adventures the girls had other than the ones shown in the series. It's like a "noodle incident" kinda thing. Sorry to keep your hopes up.
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That’s fine.
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Still, I hope you enjoy this story.
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Actually, I did.
I LOVED the experiments the Equestria Girls went through to test their geode powers for Full Bottle!