Why am I Angel Bunny?!

by Wiggidy

Questioning 2: Electric Boogaloo

I sat there, tied to my chair under the harsh light of the single lamp sitting on the table. I stared at the behemoth of nature that stood before me, and the mysterious object it held in its withcraftian horror.

"What's a Philomena?" I asked the purple nerd. She simply chuckled and walked up behind it, looking down at me with a shitty little smirk suggesting she knew better than me. I looked back at the thing she had covered, anticipating horrors the likes of which Lovecraft would vomit at the mere thought of. Twilight began to slowly peel off the cover, gradually revealing the repugnant form of a gremlin-esque monst- Oh, never mind, it was a phoeninx.

"Uh, you do know this is a phoenix, right?" I asked. "What could this do to me?" Twilight put her hoof to the cage door and opened it, allowing the bird to peek its head out curiously.

"Philomena has agreed to help me get the information I need from you." She said as the phoenix emerged from its cage and hopped over to me. It gave a once-over, and for some reason I can't explain I felt unsteady. Well, she was a bit bigger than me, so I guess it's supposed to be natural I was scared of her. Anyways, the bird strutted forward a bit, looking me eye-to-eye for a second before giving a precise peck square on my forehead.

"Ow, what the fuck?!" I asked in surprise. Philomena pecked me again, which made me respond in a similar fashion as before.

"She'll be doing this to you until you give me what I want." Twilight said. I growled in annoyance and struggled vainly to break free. This prompted another peck from Philomena.

"Ow! Fuck's sake!" I shouted angrily. Twilight stood silently, watching the back and forth between me and this stupid bird. I tried to tell her that I didn't know anything, but Twilight would cut me off with a nod to the phoenix, who'd just peck me again.

I could tell we'd be there for a long time.

Author's Note:

Litty lit lit, you thought I was dead as shit! No, I'm still alive. Been meaning to get back into the swing of things, so have another chapter on the house.

Comments

[Viper Pit]

never I thought I would see human turned bunny

[Neece]

Nice to see you back! I
And I wonder how will Twilight react when she realises Angel really knows Jack shit about it.

[VikingOtaku6]

So, basically, she's going to (bird style) chinese water torture a guy with no information for hypothetical enemy intelligence on something that might well not legitimately exist... on someone who could, very well, have been someone from a foreign nation, creating a diplomatic incident if this ever reached them...

Twilight, countries have gone to war over less than what you're doing. As usual, your reacting blindly and aggressively with short-sighted "solutions" that don't actually do what you wanted, and is bound to backfire spectacularly.

This being has made it abundantly clear, in its actions and words, that it has no idea what's happened to it, nor does it know who/what it was. And you're torturing it for information that it has clearly demonstrated, repeatedly, it simply doesn't have.

tl;dr
You are made of stupid.
Do you want ants?! Because that's how you get ants!

Equal parts amused and frustrated by Starbutts spaghetti,
Hail Hydra.

[Mist_Chaser]

8857863
It’s not head cannon, it’s the very physics set into place by Hasbro. I respect your right to your vision.

My only problem is there is no standard of reality in the story. It’s just all over the place

[Wiggidy]

8857885
That's entirely the point. It's supposed to be all over. That's why there hasn't been another chapter for like a year. I just slapped down whatever on a keyboard, and posted it as a chapter.

As for the "physics" set in place by Hasbro, there actually aren't any. Whatever rules the writers establish will be overruled whenever it's convenient.
None of it matters anymore.
If they destroy a building, they'll just replace it with another bigger playset.
If they fuck up and fulfill a character's life goal, they'll just push her offscreen and replace her with another one.
If they established a character previously had a romantic interest, they'll just rewrite them and tell us that this time is the first time they've ever been interested in someone.
If they plant something in the background that's supposed to serve as a means to infer time period or current level of technology, they'll just ignore that and put whatever random shit in the background later.
If they have characters overcome their character arc, they'll abandon it before it's completely fulfilled, and then have them do the same arc with a different motivation.

The show has no reason or logic to it any more, outside of being Hasbro's marketing fiat for their latest playsets and figures. The story has lost its purpose, and Hasbro's hired writers that are more than willing to shoot themselves in the foot for the sake of meeting their quota for including next year's products in the episodes.

[Mist_Chaser]

8857913
I did like your story. It started off pretty good. My only problem with it is that it turned into self deprecating nonsense which is so common on the site that it completely ruined its own potential to stand out as something original...

[Mist_Chaser]

8859989
I just think it could have been way better. Just because the writers of the show were being mediocre at times, is no excuse not to try to do better...

[Janiecarmody]

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