Why am I Angel Bunny?!

by Wiggidy

The jig is up.

Everyone in the entire room stopped dead in their tracks. An awkward silence swept over the room. Someone dropped a silver tray, and a bunch of bland little baby sandwiches fell to the floor. Celestia and Luna sat awestruck, staring at me with gaping mouths. I looked back at them with a frown. Everything came to a standstill as the Princesses and I looked at each other.

It didn't last long, as Twilight came rushing in with a group of guards.
"There he is! Catch him!" Twilight shouted, jabbing a hoof at me from the doorway. The guards filed out, forming a wall to keep me from running away as they marched towards me. I looked back at the hole in the wall. No way I couldn't jump back out without busting my ass falling down the side of the mountain. In the distance, I could see a blue woman-child dunking her head in the fountain, steam spewing out as she sucked water down her gullet to relieve the burn from that spicy pepper I gave her. Guess I should've known she'd bail out on me. I looked back at Pinkie, noting her flat, dull mane as she lay curled up around herself.

"You've got nowhere to go now, Angel. Just accept it." Twilight said to me. I sighed and rolled my eyes, putting my paws up in the air.

"Fine. Just get it over with already." I said with defeat. One of the guards stepped forward and began tying my paws together. Before long I was hog-tied and suspended in mid air, dangling in front of Celestia and Luna like I was the prize from the hunt. Twilight sat before them and cleared her throat before starting her explanation.

"Your majesties. This is Angel Bunny, Fluttershy's prized pet. About two weeks ago, Angel had begun showing different behaviors. He had never spoken before now, and hadn't ever shown aggression to this extreme. I don't have any photographic evidence, but eyewitness statements claim that Angel was at Pinkie's party a few days ago, and was seen pouring an unknown substance into the punch bowls. Given these statements, I propose that the individual guilty for lacing the party's refreshments with alcohol was not Pinkie Pie, but in fact, Angel Bunny. I also suspect that Angel Bunny has not been himself throughout these past days. If my hypothesis is correct, then the bunny I present to you today is not actually Angel Bunny at all; this is an unknown pony entirely, who has been masquerading as Angel to tarnish Fluttershy's image and social standing throughout Equestria. I would like to request that this bunny be detained under the authority of the Crown and questioned, so that we might learn of his exact origins as well as the location of the real Angel Bunny." I rolled my eyes and started a slow clap.

"Oh, bravo Twilight. Bravo. Bravo! Congratulations on that first class detective work, Sherlock Holmes. You figured out that I wasn't the actual Angel. Amazing! Astounding! It would be impossible for anyone else to even guess that I'm not Angel Bunny! Even though I act literally nothing like him, and talk, and suggested that Pinkie Pie share some sweet booze at the party. Yup, no way anyone else might have even suspected something was wrong with me." I sarcastically applauded. "By the way, that was a joke, 'cause in reality anyone with a brain stem should have been able to figure that out! I'm pretty sure the only reason that Flutters hasn't spoken out already is because she wouldn't want to upset me or something." Twilight let out a fierce blush, which she tried to cover up with a frown.

"Well, it's not like I've had a lot of interaction with you!" She retorted. She looked back at the Princesses. "See, this is exactly what I meant when I said Angel's behavior had changed! We need to find out what he knows, and what the rest of his plans are!" Celestia and Luna looked at each other. They quietly leaned next to each other and chatted among themselves for a second before turning back to us.

"Very well, Twilight. We grant you authority under the Royal Crown to detain this rabbit and question him. You are given full access to any resources you might need during this time." Celestia said. Twilight bowed and thanked her before twirling around and trotting out the door, and the guards grabbed Pinkie and began to take her away.

"Aww, weak dude!" I grumbled to myself.

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