The Not-A-Cat in the Hat
“Now Kids, be nice and behave,” Cup Cake smiled to her two friends, though why she was doing this, or where she was going were a mystery, even to her. But it felt right, and she really didn't want to argue this point.
“Ya got it Cup,” Applejack smiled.
“I’ll be on my best behavior, Pinkie promise!”
As the motherly mare retreated, the pair of earth ponies sighed, happy to be able to relax the rest of their day away now. They walked over and turned on the TV, though how they knew how to do this, or that that was the right thing to do at times like this was beyond them. And after the last adventure, they didn’t want to know.
“Yeehaw! Mah Canterlot Spurtans are kicking flank today!” Applejack cheered, watching the hoofball game.
“You like college ball?” Pinkie asked as she pulled up a cushion.
“Do Ah ever,” Applejack smiled. “Ah wish Ponyville had a team so Ah could go to more games actually.”
“Wow, I never woulda guessed,” Pinkie shrugged.
“Whataya mean Pinkie? Y’all’ve seen my gear before. Didn’t no pony wonder why I had a helmet? Or readily available Hoofballs for the Iron Mare contest?”
“Nope,” Pinkie smiled, happy to crush her friends ego a tad. “I’m bored,” Pinkie sighed.
“Ah’m not, Ah got mah game on,” Applejack said, and all too soon. The TV went out right as Applejack leaned back, content to watch the afternoon away. “Ah blame ya fer that Pinkie.”
As if to fill the void, a knock sounded out. A normal knock, yet it sent a cold shiver down Applejack’s spine. The one knocking right now, who ever they were, was trouble.
“Applejack, I’m scared, and getting more and more,” Pinkie said as she cowered behind her friend. “You’re so very brave, you can open the door!” She cried, pushing Applejack forward, and dashing any hope of just waiting out the mystery Guest. So with a shaking hoof, Applejack reached out to the latch, and slowly tried to inch the door open just a hair. She was soon greeted to the visage of a small dragon wearing a tall stovepipe hat, and the look did not settle the mare.
“I hear you’re bored, stuffed up in your home? What to do, in this rainy slump, with nowhere to roam?” Spike asked looking inside. “My mares, I offer to you a day of fun. Oh yes, oh yes, we will shout and run. What fun to be had, I offer you gals. You’ll absolutely love it, my solemn looking pals.”
“Why are you speaking in rhyme?” Pinkie asked, giggling.
“Are ya gonna do that all the time?” Applejack snorted.
“Talking in rhyme is lots of fun! For starters, it makes your parents say ‘I’m done!’”
“Whatever you say, scally boy. I don’t care for your games or toys.” A voice pierced out, causing all three to turn to the source. A very smart looking owl, with a very miffed expression. “Dr Goose often gave animals a voice, So in speaking against this act I do have a choice!”
“Girls, listen not to this feathery twit. He’s only having a hissy fit,” Spike pleaded. “Let’s not dwell on his words. His advice is for the birds! No, let’s greet our new friend,” Spike declared as he pulled off his hat and let a large box drop out of it with a thud. He jumped onto the box and flipped the latch open, to a loud bang as the door hit the floor, and the silvery manned blue mare it held rolled onto her back, but did not move. “... Who has met her end...”
“What’s wrong with that mare?” Pinkie asked unsteadily.
“I forgot to add any holes for air...” Spike muttered sadly.
“Kids! I forgot to grab my purse!” Cup Cake called out as she trotted back in much too early, and laid eyes on the mare on her carpet.
“And now we’ll be needing a hearse,” Owloysius sighed, shaking his head.
“... What The Buck!?"
"My ponies, it looks like we're outta luck," Spike nodded slowly. "Cheese It!"
"Mmm, cheeze it's," Pinkie purred as Spike grabbed the mare and bolted down the hall, with Applejack quick on his heels.
"Spike? What are you doing?" Applejack called forward.
"I promised you fun and that is were we're going. Somewhere Fun."
"I'm having loads of fun!" Pinkie smiled. "By the way, was Trixie dead?"
"Are the Apples on mah flank Red?"
"Oh, that's bad."
"Yeah, I'm actually kinda sad," Spike muttered. "She had a whole song and dance routine planned."
"If Ah had to sit through that, Ah'd be damned."
The trio stopped in a room and caught their breath, but the sounds of the approaching mare was not that welcoming.
"Spike, we like ya and all, but maybe we should just skip to the end and do the clean up?"
"Before we really piss of Cup?"
"Yeah, I don't want an angry boss. I hate that more then having to floss."
"Hmmph, have no fear. Spike is here! I'll clean this house up so very fast. If you join in, we're sure to have a-" Spike was cut off as the door slammed open to the noticeably irate mare. "Blast..."
"I won't ask questions about the body. Just clean it up, and get out of my house!" Cup Cake snarled to Spike.
"Hey, you didn't speak in rhyme!"
"Now Spike!" Cup ordered in her motherly tone, and watched as the dragon shuffled off with a frown to clean up the body he had left in her living room. "Now girls," Cup asked hotly, turning to the two mares left. "Did you have fun today?"
Coming up, a chapter that can only be described through the following sentence.
“I am Sick and Tired of these Mutha Bucking Snakes on this Mutha Buckin Blimp!”
No Literature Is Safe! Who's Next On The Chopping Block? You Decide!
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I don't remember Enemy at the Gates being a novel. Just a movie with a terrible love subplot.
2935067 It's military history, so it's in lots of military history books. And the book the movie is based on isEnemy at the Gates: The Battle for Stalingrad. And also, movies count here, because to be made a movie, it has to be written down at some point, even if it is just as a script.
Trixie gets no love.
i wonder if someone already has said "Lewis Carroll Alice In Wonderland" that could be so much fun to parody
if you want some original piece what about some parodyception
i dare you to parody Equestria Girls in this story 
2937519 So shall it be dared, so shall it be done! Ponies in EQG it is, as it bucking should have been
2935482 Just for you Frankie, I'll add a little chapter here soon detailing why that is.
2937578
it was bucking time someone take upon that task, be brave and prevail in this honorable excursion
So Trixie is indeed going to die in every chapter... For some reason, I find that enormously comical, even though I love Trixie. Though in this case, I think it would have been funnier - and in line with the present brand of humor - if you had described Trixie's corpse as having X's for eyes and her tongue hanging out.
Bits of prose in this chapter did feel a little awkward and there are a couple capitalization errors, which is a tad surprising if it went through as many rewrites as you suggest. But it was fun, especially the idea of Spike carrying Trixie around in a box. Those two really need more interaction in the fandom; too bad Trixie kicked the bucket before they could do anything together.
The image source: http://godzilla3092.deviantart.com/art/The-Best-Kind-of-Adventure-374854101
I want to see this hillariously awesome story updated, plus will Twilight ever get the girl?
How about white fire or still life with crows
I read Eragon so if you want some info you can either ask or google it.